incorrect1776quotes - Tumblr blog

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Jefferson, sobbing: please, I have a family

Adams, standing behind him with a nerf gun: write or perish. Also you’re getting tears on the declaration-

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John Adams: From now on we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle one.

John Adams: Hancock is 'been there done that'

John Adams: Jefferson is 'currently doing that'

John Adams: Franklin is 'it happened once in a dream'

John Adams: Dickinson is 'if I had to pick a loyalist'

John Adams: And Rutledge is...

Rutledge: ...

John Adams: ...Eagle two

Rutledge: Oh thank god

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Franklin: So my science headcanon is-

Jefferson: HYPOTHESIS, BEN. IT’S CALLED A HYPOTHESIS

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adams: why can’t dickinson just see that our cause for independence is the only answer?!

jefferson: maybe he’s homophobic

adams: we’re not gay, jefferson

jefferson: we’re not??

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Franklin: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Jefferson: If?

Adams: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die

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Starting a new holiday

It's Shitscram, we're organizing Shitscram into a separate holiday kids. And I propose it's celebrated by:

It's in December but there's no set date. You can choose any day to celebrate or you can celebrate all month. I'm not your dad, you're a big kid and you decide how long to party

There's absolutely zero religion associated with it. None. No pagan or Christian or anything. However you can pair it with whatever other holiday you want to celebrate. Just don't call it a "Shitscram tree" because that's former pagan turned Christian decorations

If you want to exchange cards, use the weird old Christmas cards that have nothing to do with Christmas. @weirdchristmas has a bunch and they're really funny and secular as soon as you remove the word "Christmas"

If in December there is a Friday the 13th that year, whatever day you choose to celebrate Shitscram there has to be at least one spooky element. Like a skull or a plastic spider.

Giving gifts is not mandatory but if you decide to, you can use any wrapping paper or bag but any holiday paper/bag that says the otherholiday's name must be crossed out and "Shitscram" must be written in its place (at least once on the paper/bag but if you want to do more you can)

If you want to make it a magical childhood experience you can tell your kid Mothman delivered their gifts, he wears a lil nightgown and slippers in the traditional Shitscram colors

The colors of Shitscram are muted blue and red:

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after the vote

dickinson: i eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy

dickinson: and my heart has been severely damaged. so james, if you’re out there–

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Thomas Jefferson: Being over 6 feet tall is hard

John Adams: How?!

Thomas Jefferson: I get neck cramps from looking down at you all the time

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Adams: I really hate that Jefferson guy

Franklin: You’re holding his hand

Adams: Hatefully.

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John Adams: “The colonies are in danger!”

Abigail Adams: “My evening is in danger!”

John Adams: “You tell me where my waistcoat is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!”

Abigail Adams: “The GREATER GOOD? I am your WIFE! I am the greatest good you’re ever gonna get!”

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jefferson: it says “autherized personnel only”

john adams: well good! that must mean i’m allowed in

jefferson, under his breath: what could YOU possibly be authorized for

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Adams: What are we gonna do

Jefferson: Ah, what are you so worried about? You’re so small they probably won’t even see you.

Adams: ,,,, this isn’t the time to be making short jokes

Jefferson: it is never not the time because, just like you, life is short.

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John Dickinson: “I’m a pacifist.”

John Adams: “Good morning Mr. Dickinson.”

John Dickinson: “I’m gonna pass a fist into your face.”

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“WE ARE COOL!”

- John Dickinson, in neither a sane nor lucid manner

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Thank you for loving this sorely underappreciated movie and nailing the personalities so perfectly.

thank you for appreciating it! i’ve been wanting to start posting here more often- i’m not sure if i’d be able to go back to the once-a-day scedule, but now that i’m not working i feel like i can get out here more frequently

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john hancock: do you always run headlong into certain death, mr. adams?

abigail adams: sometimes he walks. occasionally he shuffles. once, i'm fairly certain i saw him amble into certain death

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Jefferson: Is it hot in here or is—

John Adams: It's you. It's fucking you. You're literally laying on me. It's like an oven down here. GET OFF ME