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Ohio: How long do you think I could survive in a refrigerator?
New Jersey: I- I actually don’t know the answer to that one. Wanna test it out?
Ohio: Yes!
*Later*
Delaware: Hey New Jersey have you seen Ohio at all?
New Jersey: *Looking at their phone* Yes, exactly 1 hour 34 minutes and 6 seconds ago.
Delaware: Why did you do it to the last second?
*Muffled thump of something hitting the inside of the refrigerator door*
New Jersey: 1 hour 34 minutes and 12 seconds is the answer!!
*Delaware opens the door and Ohio falls out*
Delaware: …
Delaware: I’m telling America
#50states#aph states#fanfic post#aph ohio#aph new jersey#aph delaware#aph america#don’t try this at home#hetalia
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Missouri: *Under a bunch of snow* Day 23 in the chamber. They ain’t found me yet, but when they do their gonna be surprised.
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America: What are we having for dinner?
South US: *Staring at the food he just burnt* ……Regret.
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Listen to Sugar-crash for song it goes with.
*New Jersey walks by with an axe*
South US: *Not even looking up* Where are you going?
New Jersey: To kill New York!
South US: Oh, have fun then.
South US: ……..
South US: *Gets up to run after her* NEW JERSEY NOOO!!!!
*Petrified screaming in the distance*
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New Jersey: ARE YOU-
Ohio: Fucking-
New Jersey: KIDDING ME!!!!
Pennsylvania: Why did Ohio just curse for you?
New Jersey: Because America banned me from cursing for a week.
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South US: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
America: Wow. They sound stupid.
South US: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
America: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”
South US: I guess you’re right. *Builds up the courage* Hey America, I love you.
America: See! Just say that!
South US: *Full on done with life* Holy fucking shit.
America: If that flies over their head then, sorry South US, but they're too dumb for you.
South US: America.
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Alaska: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gunna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?
America: Why should I feed you if your just gunna die anyways?
Alaska:
Alaska: I'll go make my bed-
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South US: There's nothing to do....
America: You can wash the dishes you promised to wash about a week ago.
South US: *Pulls out his phone* Nevermind.
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Iowa: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?
Wisconsin: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.
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Midwest: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?
Illinois: *Sitting down, surrounded by corpses* I won Mafia, that’s what.
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South US: Who hurt you?
America: *Snorting* What, do you want a list?
South US: ...Yes, actually.
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South US: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!
America: Okay, can you do the dishes?
South US: No.
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America: Did it hurt when you fell-
South US: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-
America: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.
South US: ...
America: You just laid there for 15 minutes.
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Random Creep: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing.
America: Are you a software update? Because not right now.
South US: Damn. I can’t even kill you now because he already did.
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South US: America is playing hard to get.
South US: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of!
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*Pennsylvania comes running into the room crying and hugs America*
Pennsylvania: *Sobbing into America’s shirt* America!! My boyfriend just broke up with me!
America: *Hugging her back* It’s fine, you didn’t need him anyway.
America: *Leaning into a walkie talkie* We got a code break up.
South US: *Over the walkie talkie* They will never find the body.
Pennsylvania: What did you say America?
America: Nothing!!
#hetalia#50states#aph states#fanfic post#aph america#aph pennsylvania#aph south us#overprotective parents#theywillneverfindthebody
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*Trying to cheer Pennsylvania up after a break up*
New Hampshire: You broke up with them for a reason.
Pennsylvania: I know, I know. I’m just so tired of missing them. Tired of wondering why they haven’t called. Why haven’t they called?
Delaware: Maybe because you told them not to.
Pennsylvania: What are you, the Memory Police?
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