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Person A: "Why did you stab me? 🥺"

Person B: "Why are you still alive?"

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will you let me go to heaven

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Yeah when you think about it they're exactly the same

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heard shuffling noises at 1 AM. turned on my camera. saw this. still not convinced this is a dog

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MG: This Black Stars war is fucked, man! I just saw someone say: "I smite you with a Broken Soul!" And the guy just imploded! The camera didn't even go to Her, that's how common this shit is! My ass is over here using beginner punishments and putting people in the lake to drown! I just heard someone a few groups over shout: "Power Word: Chaos!" I gotta get out of here.

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who the heck is out there putting all these crabs in buckets

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Grace: Oh, you're a bird fan? Name every bird.

Percy: No problem! There's a pretty little cardinal outside, handsome fella, let's name him Petey! Then there's Louie and Louise, the pond ducks. Kevin, Annalise, and Elaine, those are good pigeon names. And Teddy, I always wanted to name something that. I think we can name all of Miss M's crows---

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my take on immortality is that it would be fun as fuuuck to hurt and torture someone who is completely immortal and can never die like just straight up mutilate them so badly while they’re still in pain the whole time and they can never die

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Ezra: You say I have no bitches. And that's true.

Ezra: My beautiful wife, who can burn you to a crisp with a snap of her fingers, is not a bitch. I would never call her that.

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Discord Murder Party incorrect quotes, part 6 @incorrectdmp

Part six already! I... have nothing clever to say this time, so let's just get into the funnies XD

Murder God: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool.” Murder God: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go.”

Tommy: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something. Vincent: (laughs) Book recommendation? I can’t read!

Doc: Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.

Christine: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? Junior: How did you know I was up until 3am? Murder God: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

Cutaux: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Vincent: Well, how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Murder God, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Not as many this time, but I hope y'all can still enjoy!

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Discord Murder Party incorrect quotes, part five @incorrectdmp

PART FIVE! BOOBY-TRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON! Wha-? Are you still alive?! ~ Murder God, probably.

Doc: Are you mad? Grace: No. Doc: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Hailey: Just wondering, did you get any sleep? Valencia: Did I get any… leap? Hailey: What…?

Oz: Guess what? Charlie: What? Oz: No, you have to guess. Charlie, thinking: I don’t know. Oz: Vincent is in the afterlife. Charlie: Why would you make me guess that?! Charlie: What happened?!

Grace: I have a problem. Thorin: If it's harder than 2+2, I can't help.

Thorin: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart? Charlie: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am! Thorin: Mean.

(And we got a twofer!) Junior: What the hell is wrong with you? Charlie: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

Vincent: What the hell is wrong with you? Doc: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

Stephen People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room. Grace: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses.

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Discord Murder Party incorrect quotes, part 4! @incorrectdmp

May the 4th be... wait, wrong franchise.

Charlie: As a responsible adult- Percy: chuckles Charlie: … As a responsible adult—

Tommy: How do Juniper and Charlie usually get out of these messes? Oz: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

Ezra: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? Stephen: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Ezra: Stephen: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

Yugo: Would you like your pizza cut into six or eight slices, Thorin? Thorin: Oh just six, I don’t think I could eat eight.

Charlie: Can you pass the salt? Doc: Can you pass away? Charlie: Too much salt.

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does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

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Discord Murder Party Incorrect Quotes, part 3 @incorrectdmp

Like I said before, I have... quite the backlog, heheheh And it keeps growing. And growing. On and on, an endless abyss of comedy that will consume us all-

...Wait, what was I saying again? Oh well, time for more funnies!

Oz: You have any sunscreen? Charlie: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire— Oz: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

Valencia: Is something burning? Ezra: My burning love for you of course! Valencia: … Ezra: … Ezra: And the kitchen is on fire…

Charlie: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Doc: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Oz: I recorded the dumb stuff. Juniper: I joined you in the dumb stuff. Vincent: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

Vincent: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet! Ezra: No, please don't! I have a family to feed! Vincent: Vincent: What? Ezra: I need to feed my Neopets!

Oz: Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad single life? Charlie: It actually does.

Hailey: Do dragons fart fire? Valencia: I don't know. Hailey: I thought you went to college.

Valencia: Christmas lights? Ezra: Check. Yugo: Thermos of hot cocoa? Ezra: Check. Thorin: Santa suits? Ezra: Check. Stephen: Shovel? Ezra: Check. Junior: Alibi and bail money? Ezra: Check- wait, WHAT?!

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Charlie from Discord Murder Party

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* exits the narrative and goes home *