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Murder God: what do you mean you havent used mindfulness techniques to accept the state of the torture labyrinth as is yet. its like youre not even trying

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what do you mean you havent used mindfulness techniques to accept the state of the torture labyrinth as is yet. its like youre not even trying

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Thorin: Ezra, is that a weed?

Ezra: no this is a cra---

Thorin: I'm calling the police *dials 911 into the lounge microwave*

Grace: 911, what's your emergency?

***

Charlie: Vincent, is that a police?

Vincent: This is just Grace---

Charlie: I'm calling the weed! *dials 420 into the lounge microwave*

Aelethias: 420, whatcha smoking?

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Yet More DMP Incorrect Quotes @incorrectdmp

Oh boy, here we go killing again! Don't worry, the lounge was looking pretty empty anyway-

Doc, at Vincent's funeral: I need a moment with him. Everyone: Of course. (They leave) Doc, leaning over Vincent′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead. Vincent: Yeah, no shit.

Yugo: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Vincent: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Ezra: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Tommy: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Hailey: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Grace: Mental stability, my old friend! Yugo: ...Man, could you guys lighten up a little?

Murder God: Dammit, Vincent, you ruined everything! Vincent: You’re welcome.

Vincent: Why is there blood everywhere? Ezra: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Vincent: You stabbed someone?! Ezra: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Fate: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but— Doc: That's because you're too short to do so. Fate: …Listen here you fucking—

Ezra: Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page. Ezra: But it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”. Grace: That’s not even clever.

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i honestly prefer to kick a man when hes down. its the easiest time to do it

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our murder factory is very diverse

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Discord Murder Party, Let's See Who's Gonna Quip @incorrectdmp

More incorrect quotes, here we go!!

Ezra, on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Percy, I uh, I’ve been stabbed. Juniper: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU? Ezra: Wait- You aren’t Percy. Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you- Juniper: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? I'M COMING THERE. I'M NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THAT'S BEEN STABBED.

Charlie: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window. Vincent: …We're on the ground floor. Charlie: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

Grace: closes a cabinet a crash is heard behind the cabinet door Stephen: What was that? Grace: The sound of someone else's problem.

Doc: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them? Tommy: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them. Doc: Okay yes, thank you Mr. Gwendolyn, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

Junior: I may be stupid. Christine: … Junior: Oh, did you think I was going to finish that sentence?

Oz: So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here. Oz: And if you don't well then fuck you. Oz: I'm looking at you, Pretzel Hog, you jealous mop.

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love when theres a character whose entire existence is spoiler tagged by default. go behind the curtain boy

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everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.

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More Discord Murder Party Incorrect Quotes! @incorrectdmp

Because I forgot what part number we were on!

Thorin: Hey, I just got a pet snake. What should I name him? Percy: A pet WHAT?! Hailey: William Snakespeare.

Tommy: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday. Hailey: Wednesay. Tommy: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible.

Doc: Stephen, we tried things your way. Stephen: No, we didn't. Doc: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

while waiting outside the principal’s office Stephen: What are you in for? Hailey: Oh, they just want to know if it’s cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What about you? Stephen: I stabbed someone with a screwdriver. Hailey: Hailey: Hailey: We live very different lives. Stephen: Yes we do.

Vincent: love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon. Ezra: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic. Vincent: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

Percy, to Grace: Why is Thorin not talking? Grace: I'm playing the silent game with him. Percy: Well, then you just lost. Grace: I lost two hours ago. I gave him ear plugs and told him to close his eyes. It was the only way I could think of to get him to shut up.

Grace, playing a video game: How do I play? Grace has drawn first blood! Grace is on a killing spree! Grace is on a rampage! Grace is unstoppable! Grace is dominating! Grace is godlike! Grace: Don’t worry guys, I figured it out.

Vincent: We all have our demons. Vincent, grabbing Charlie: This one’s mine.

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Charlie: Do you think we're soulmates?

Vincent: The fuck? After all the work I've done? Nuh uh. Fate gets no credit.

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Person A: "Do you think we're soulmates?"

Person B: "The fuck? After all the work I've done? Nuh uh. Fate gets no credit."

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Person A: "Why did you stab me? 🥺"

Person B: "Why are you still alive?"

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will you let me go to heaven

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Yeah when you think about it they're exactly the same

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heard shuffling noises at 1 AM. turned on my camera. saw this. still not convinced this is a dog