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This was entirely too good to not share

this is canon dialogue thank you 

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Horizon: Forbidden West #100

Source: Tumblr user lonelydiary

Zo: I think I desperately need a hug. Aloy: [Hugs Zo] [3 hours later] Zo: Aloy, you can unhug me now. Aloy: I absolutely cannot.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #099

Source: Twitter

Aloy: If I were Dolly Parton, I would simply have had sex with Jolene.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #098

Source: Unknown

Aloy: How stupid do you think I am? Sylens: Do you really want an answer to that?

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Horizon: Forbidden West #097

Source: Unknown

Seyka: So, uh, would you like to have dinner tonight? Aloy: I like to have dinner every night. Seyka: ...

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Horizon: Forbidden West #096

Source: Unknown

Erik: Hey, little lady. Why so teeny? Aloy: I'm not teeny, I'm average size. Erik: What a sad brag.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #095

Source: Unknown

Aloy: Croissants: dropped Zo: Road: works ahead Varl: BBQ sauce: on my titties Beta: Shavacado: fre Erend: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Sylens: ... Tilda: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #094

Source: Mass Effect

Regalla: Huh. Nobody died. Aloy: I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better. Regalla: Nah, I'm good.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #093

Source: Twitter Anna Kendrick

Tilda: For someone with such an intense need to be liked, you'd think I would have figured out how to be less of an asshole.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #092

Source: Bob's Burgers

Varl: It's the day after Halloween, Zo. Don't you think we might have gotten the tree a little early? Zo: Oh, put some mistletoe on my butt and kiss it, Varl.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #091

Source: Brooklyn 99

Aloy: I am not afraid to be alone with my thoughts, my thoughts are awesome.. Aloy: ..my father never loved me, I’m going to die alone. Aloy: Well that happened fast.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #090

Source: Unknown

Kotallo: I have an idea. Aloy: We’re not going to murder anyone. Kotallo: I don’t have any ideas.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #089

Source: Unknown

Alva: Once, in the fifth grade, this kid called me a homo and I thought it meant homeless. Alva: I was so confused I said “Enki, you’ve been to my house before.”

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Horizon: Forbidden West #088

Source: Unknown

Tilda: Aloy, are you high? Aloy: Am I what? Tilda: High. Aloy: Oh, hey!

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Horizon: Forbidden West #087

Source: Unknown

Aloy: Sylens, we tried things your way. Sylens: No, we didn't. Aloy: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #086

Source: Parks and Rec

Zo: And he looked up at me and... he said, "Thank you. You saved my life." Aloy: Yeah. Aloy: Hey listen, I'm really nervous about this date tomorrow night.

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Horizon: Forbidden West #085

Source: Modern Family

Alva: Oh, by the way, if you ever speak disrespectfully again about my wife, I'll kill you. Alva: Sorry, that sounded like a joke. Alva: I will actually kill you. Kotallo: Where did that come from? Alva: Life is too short to be ruled by fear.