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You know what they say: a little childhood trauma builds character.
Leo Fitz
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Conversation
Fitz: [covering walls in equations and talking to himself after being confronted with any new world-ending crisis] It’s just you and me now, Jemma.
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Fitz: Why are you so kinky?
Hunter: I’m traumatized.
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Jemma: Are you doing okay? Are you scared?
Fitz: I’m scared you won’t let me make a flamethrower and use it to throw flame.
Jemma: You’re right, I will not let you do that.
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Fitz: Oh, god. Let me have just one good day.
God: You again? Give it a rest, buddy!
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Jemma [disinfecting a cut on Fitz's cheek]: You shouldn't insult people that are bigger than you.
Fitz: Then I wouldn't get to insult anyone.
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Text
the difference between phillinda and fitzsimmons in a nutshell:
coulson, watching may kick someone’s arse: YEAH!!!! thats my WIFE!!!!!!!!!
fitz, watching simmons fight a Bad Guy™️: oh my God jemma please be careful jemma. jEMMA oh my God please. darling. i love u and ur beautiful and doing a great job but how lethal, exactly, is that gun?
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Fitz, gesturing to Jemma: This is it. Creation's greatest achievement. The most beautiful, wonderful person to ever exist. No one can top this.
Jemma: ...But you did, yesterday.
Fitz:
Jemma: 😉
Fitz:
Fitz: You're not wrong.
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Conversation
Coulson: Good responses to getting stabbed with a sword. Go!
Jemma: Rude.
Fitz: That’s fair.
Skye: Not again.
Ward: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
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Text
Fitz: We don’t need powers, I have a lighter, okay?
Fitz: We get some hairspray, make some flamethrowers…
Fitz: Let’s fry these bitches
May: No one’s frying any bitches
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Conversation
Fitz: Jemma gave me a "get better soon" card.
Mack: Aw, that's sweet.
Fitz: I wasn't sick, she just thought I could do better.
Mack: Now you mention it...
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Conversation
[Season one]
Fitz: You've been paying Skye a lot of attention lately.
Jemma: She was injured.
Fitz: I was injured, too...
Jemma: Then go to the doctor!
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Jemma: Come on! Let’s all play a game!
Fitz: No, we’re not.
Jemma: Why not?
Fitz: Because you know how competitive you get. While I think it’s cute, the others don’t, and I’m lying.
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Daisy: Jemma, what the hell are you doing?
Jemma: [drunk and stroking Fitz's hair while his eyes roll back like a cat being petted]
Jemma: What the fuck? This is so soft and springy.
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Quote
Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the dumbest person alive.
Fitz [to Deke] (via incorrectagentsofshieldquotes)
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Deke: *walking around the lab messing with stuff and grabbing random weapons which he shoves in his pockets*
Jemma: Leave it like you found it!
Jemma: And by that I mean just leave it.
[submitted by @shadowhunteragentofshield]
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Jemma: *sneaking out to try to kill Ward*
Skye: *holding out a gun* I'm coming with you.
Jemma: What? We don't need guns at...the waffle house.
[submitted by @shadowhunterofshield]
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