incorrectmonogatari

[incorrectmonogatari]

Senjougahara: Can I vent to you? Araragi: Always. Senjougahara: But as a friend not as my boyfriend. Araragi: Yes. Call me girlfriend. Hehe. Senjougahra: Okay, listen girlfriend. Araragi: I'm listening girl. Araragi: Men ain't shit.

[incorrectmonogatari]

Shinobu: These donuts got me feeling gay as fuck. Araragi: Shinobu, I told you, people don't use 'gay' as 'happy' anymore. That's not how it's used. Shinobu: My bad. Shinobu: These donuts got me feeling bisexual as fuck. Araragi: Shinobu, no! Shinobu: What am I supposed to say if I like donuts?!

[incorrectmonogatari]

Kaiki: When have I ever given you reason not to trust me? Senjougahara: Would you like the list alphabetically or chronologically?

[incorrectmonogatari]

Koyomi: I heard you were talking shit about me?

Oikura: do you wanna hear it again or did you get everything?

[incorrectmonogatari]

Hanekawa: I can't sleep. Can you read this book for me?

Senjougahara: Of course.

Senjougahara: …

Senjougahara: …

Hankawa: Read it out loud, please.

[incorrectmonogatari]

Senjougahara: My blood test came back.

Hanekawa: What are the results?

Senjougahara: It's positive. I have blood.

[incorrectmonogatari]

Senjougahara (wearing Hanekawa's glasses): How do I look?

Hanekawa: I have no idea

[incorrectmonogatari]

Senjougahara: get a boyfriend Oikura

Araragi: or a girlfriend! she's bi

Senjougahara: damn nobody want u fr 😭😭

Araragi: i'm saying like 😭😭

[incorrectmonogatari]

Perhaps that is a part of our difficulty. Words are all we've been using. Humans seem to take much stronger notice of actions... I need a gun.

Ononoki

[incorrectmonogatari]

Kissshot: My life is in the hands of an idiot. Araragi: No, nononono. Two idiots.

[incorrectmonogatari]

Kanbaru: You said that if you were ever going to do same-sex experimentation it was going to be with me. Senjougahara: I have never said that to you. Kanbaru: It's been implied. Senjougahara: By you.

[incorrectmonogatari]

Hanekawa, thinking: I know you can read my thoughts, Araragi. Just a little reminder; if I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say. Kanbaru, thinking: I know you can read my thoughts, Araragi-senpai. *Singing* Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

[incorrectmonogatari]

Araragi: Look, I-I’ve lost a lot of blood.

Araragi: I mean…

Araragi: I know where the blood is, but—

[incorrectmonogatari]

Sengoku: What did I ever do to you? Sejougahara: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire town. Sengoku: Apart from that?

[incorrectmonogatari]

Oshino: Hey Kagenui, have you ever been mistaken for a man? Kagenui: No, have you?

[incorrectmonogatari]

Hanekawa: They're overriding the mainframe. Kanbaru: In Japanese, four-eyes. Hanekawa: They're fuckin' our pussies! Kanbaru: Now you're speaking my language.

[incorrectmonogatari]

Kanbaru: Get the fuck out with this "gays cant drive" and "gays cant cook" shit. I do BOTH. Don't be disrespectful.

Araragi: But can you do math?

Kanbaru: Don't. Don't do this to me.