incorrectobeymequotes69

[incorrectobeymequotes69]

Hey Y'all, sorry to say this but this'll be my last post for a while, I might come back, I might not but if not then thanks to everyone who followed and supported me! See you around

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Lucifer, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!

Mammon: …What does that even mean?!

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Asmodeus, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

Barbatos: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Asmodeus: I absolutely fucking do not.

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Luke: So, I heard you like bad boys… I time travel in Animal Crossing.

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Satan: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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Satan: Kill him.

Leviathan: This is the kind of quality advice I look for.

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Solomon: You remind me of the ocean.

Satan: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Solomon: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

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Beelzebub: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Belphegor: Beel, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Beelzebub: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Belphegor: Well, I mean yeah.

Beelzebub: So come downstairs while they’re still hot.

Belphegor: Wait, you just made them?

Beelzebub: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Belphegor: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Beelzebub.

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Leviathan, singing: ~Hush, little laptop, don’t you cry.~

Leviathan: ~I'm gonna find you some more Wi-Fi.~

Leviathan: ~And if that Wi-Fi doesn’t work…~

Leviathan: ~I will destroy the fucking Earth.~

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Lucifer: Satan’s out the will.

Satan: I was in the will?

Barbatos: Wait, you have a will? Already? You haven’t even graduated.

Lucifer: I’ve done some things in my life. Upset the wrong people. Mammon, you have a will too, right?

Mammon: Lots. Good luck figuring out which one’s real.

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Solomon: If you aren't someone the church wanted dead 300 years ago, are you really living?

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Belphegor: Ow!

Satan: What’s wrong?

Belphegor: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Satan: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

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Satan: There. How do I look?

Mammon: Like a cheap French harlot.

Satan: French?!

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Simeon: What is wrong with you?

Diavolo: Loaded question. Elaborate.

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Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests?

Belphegor: Death penalty.

Satan, from the gallery: Belphie, it’s just a parking ticket.

Belphegor, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

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Leviathan: Stop failing.

Mammon: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Mammon: *Succeeds*

Mammon: Dang it!

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Mammon: *watching HOL burn down*

Mammon:

Mammon: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.