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Aglaea: Date an exceedingly intelligent man, so it's all the more satisfying when you manage to fuck him stupid.

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Aventurine, satisfied, lying in bed, his hands in a posture like he's holding an imaginary cigar: This was fun, let's do it again?

Dr. Ratio, staring at him with exhaustion and hatred after losing all his money in Monopoly: …. don't get too happy.

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Ruan Mei: I decided to take a page out of Herta's book and try my hand at eternal life.

Screwllum: Oh, that's—

Ruan Mei: This here is my homunculus flesh puppet that my soul will transfer to in the event of my death. It's got no soul inside it right now, so I keep it in a constant state of euphoria to keep it from massacring the researchers and cat cakes.

Screwllum:

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Jing Yuan: I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

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Trailblazer: You'd be amazed by the amount of times I've fucked around without finding a single thing out.

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Yanqing: No more learning experiences, please Lan, I am smart enough.

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Sparkle: Everybody been acting funny lately, but it's okay cuz I'm bouta act hilarious.

Giovanni: ...Why is this vaguely threatening?

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Tribbie: Unfortunately it's not very easy for us to do baby talk. "Am I a good boy/girl" sounds cute, but "Are we a good person" sounds like we're having an moral crisis.

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Gallagher: This is not a red string of fate. Sunday and I are bound by dog collars and a steel chain.

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Blade: No your Honor, I would never kill out of the need for revenge. He was merely collateral damage in pursuit of my own death.

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Phainon: im eating a ice cream bar rn, a thread:

Phainon: mmmm

Phainon: They are all dead, all because of me.

Phainon: mmmmmm

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My daughter could not sleep because of the severity of hunger. What is the fault of the children who are dying of hunger in Gaza and the world cannot do anything?

@dirhwangdaseul @b0nkcreat @tamamita @chokulit @3000s @apas-95 @pitbolshevik @ot3 @punkitt-is-here @vampiricvenus @turtletoria @paper-mario-wiki @valtsv @omegaversereloaded @i-am-a-fish-stinks @catsgifsarefun @spongebobssquarepants @postanagramgenerator @feluka @nyancrimew @90-ghost @beserkerjewel @neechees @memingursa @certifiedsexed @afro-elf @11thsense @sawasawako @spacebeyonce @skipppppy @beetledrink @fools-and-perverts @dailyquests @evillesbianvillain @wolfertinger666 @taffybuns @ankle-beez @sabertoothwalrus @meshugenist @isuggestforcefem @hotvampireadjacent @marxism-transgenderism

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Qingque: Lately I've been bedridden with a terrible case of I don't wanna.

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Stelle, fitfully trying to sleep while holding Firefly: Ugh, I want to cuddle but you're too warm...

Stelle: Hmm, what do I do now?

*Minutes Later*

Firefly, waking up to eggs yolks on her body: ...What are you doing?

Stelle, holding a spatula and wearing a chef's hat: Making you breakfast in bed!

Firefly:

Firefly, going back to sleep: Okay.

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Blade: I got like 5 failed suicide attempts under my belt. Do you mfs know how embarrassing that is?

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Sampo: “Are you decent?” Morally? Absolutely not. Decent like do I have pants on? Also no.

Sampo: Behaviorally? How about we stop talking for a while?

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Topaz, with her morning coffee: Ah, spring is on its way. Pop music is back. Coffee's almost warm. It's gonna be a good day.

Aventurine, walking in: Good morning, everyone.

Topaz: [Dumps coffee] Well, try again tomorrow.