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Dylan: Let's say, hypothetically, I got us into some major legal trouble with a powerful person. What would you do?

Cassidy: Well, I’d kill you. Hypothetically.

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Cassidy: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Dylan: If I had a pound for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 pence

Cassidy: If I had a pound for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Samantha: Actually I did the math, Dylan would have £225, not £0.15.

Dylan: Fam I’m right here....

Luis: If I had a pound I would buy a can of soda :)

Cassidy: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Luis: Sorry I only have a pound

Cassidy: :(

Samantha: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Dylan would have £22,500 because it's a pound for every pixel, not a pence

Luis: If I had £22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Samantha: You can buy anything you want with £22,500

Mason: Yeah and he wants soda and apply juice

Samantha: Apply juice to what

Jake: Directly to the forehead

Dylan: Great chat everyone

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Dylan: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Izabella: Oh, I’m always running

Izabella: The question is from what

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Cassidy: You’re important to me.

Dylan: What? No.

Cassidy: Really? You think I’d go through all this for someone I didn’t care about?

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Cassidy: Wait, Jake kissed you, and you said “thank you”?

Dylan, still mortified: Yes.

Cassidy: Well. That was very polite.

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Dylan: What's this?

Samantha, hugging Dylan: Affection!

Dylan: Disgusting.

Dylan: ...Do it again.

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Luis: I’m in love with you.

Samantha: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Luis: I know.

Samantha: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

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Luis walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Samantha, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Samantha, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

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Luis walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Samantha, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Samantha, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

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Cassidy: Hey, Mason, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Mason: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Cassidy: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Mason: Can't really say I have.

Cassidy: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Mason: Sorry, Cassidy. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

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Mason: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Cassidy: Wow. She sounds stupid.

Mason: But she's not. She’s really smart actually. Just dense.

Cassidy: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Mason: I guess you’re right. Hey Cassidy, I love you.

Cassidy: See! Just say that!

Mason: Holy fucking shit.

Cassidy: If that flies over their head then, sorry Mason, but she's too dumb for you.

Mason: Cassidy.

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Cassidy: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

Cassidy: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

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Cassidy: How petty can you get?

Dylan: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

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Cassidy: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Dylan: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Samantha: Three of us saw it, Dylan. How do you explain that?

Dylan: *points at Samantha* Sleep deprivation. *points at Luis* Paranoia. *points at Mason* Delusional personality disorder.

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Cassidy: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Dylan: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Samantha: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Luis: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Jake: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Mason:

Mason: I have emotional scars.

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Cassidy: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Dylan: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Samantha: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Dylan, learn to listen.

Luis: What if it bites itself and I die?

Mason: That’s voodoo.

Jake: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Dylan: That’s correlation, not causation.

Luis: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Mason: That’s kinky.

Cassidy: Oh my God.

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Cassidy: Croissants: dropped

Dylan: Road: works ahead

Samantha: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Luis: Shavacado: fre

Jake: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Mason:

Mason, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.