incurable-pessimist

[incurable-pessimist]

AHHHHH IM WRITING A BOOK

My publisher texted me and i’m still looking for one but AHHHH THEY WANNA PUBLISH IT TEHEHEHEHE

[incurable-pessimist]

When will we ever learn?

The generation of today will go on to say the most cruel and ruthless things like they were born for it. There are people who seem to be like a kind, intriguing person but when you go to talk to them they are ruthless with what they say. Their words like daggers to the stomach. The look in their eye vicious and sadistic. The words that come out of their mouth bring you down for the rest of the day. They take your shame and turn it into pride in their merciless, barbarous hearts. They like the reaction that they get from you. So don't give them a reaction. Do their opinions really care? No. As long as you feel as if your good enough and worthy then that's the truth and that way shall it stay. Will they ever learn the respect and care we used to have? The resilience we have. The impact our kindness can have on people.

[incurable-pessimist]

People

I don't like many people. Sure there is some I tolerate, but if you asked me to go make a new friend I will immediately refuse or fail trying. Not that I just failed it's that I said I would but just read with my headphones on in the corner. I love being alone. It's my favorite thing in the world. I think to me it's just more peaceful that way.

[incurable-pessimist]

Strength

People think because they have mental illnesses or they cry often makes them weak. I used to think this myself however I've grown to learn that this is simply not true at all. Your pain and suffering are what make you stronger and stronger every single day. I can't always find many words to describe things however I have my way with words. I do have a quote I like to have stored in my mind. I think it will help you better understand. A man named Arnold Schwarzeneggar, the Former Governor of California, once said, "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength." This quote was found when I was in a bad mental state and thought I was so weak for crying the tears that seemed to automatically spill out but i found this quote and it taught me that after this hard time in my life was over that I'd come back stronger and I did exactly that. i came back stronger and so will you. Just you wait.

[incurable-pessimist]

"Smart? No, I'm not smart."

A majority of the human generation I've noticed doesn't take compliments like they used to. I've seen two types of this in people. The first type will flat out say "No I'm not. I'm not smart" This usually means they used to be like the next type i'm going to talk about which means they used to kind of hide that they didn't believe what the person was saying but now don't care for hiding it and that is why they are blunt. The second type either says "Thank you." in a hesitant tone due to the fact they don't believe it or, "Really? You think?" because they like hearing it due to the fact that it's the complete opposite of what the mind tells them every day. I don't blame the, for I don't really take compliments either. Can you really blame them due to the fact that most compliments from the newer generations are either fake or don't come at all anymore? This is all knowledge from what I've seen. If you have a compliment that is true and sincere... tell them. they need to hear it truly this time.

[incurable-pessimist]

Am I even real?

Sometimes i don't feel real. Sometimes the things around me don't feel real either. I look around and wonder if everything I see around me is actually a figment of my imagination or if i'm just dreaming. I wonder if one day if I will wake up and it be the end of a video game or something. It's not always a bad feeling. Sometimes it's just there and living. I'm not saying it's always a good feeling but I am saying that if you do feel like this come to terms with it. Accept it. It almost feels like i'm floating sometimes. Like i'm a soul getting lost in the wind. Sometimes it's not always the best feeling but that's okay. That;s what goes through my mind a lot of the time.

[incurable-pessimist]

Social Situations

I want to like hanging out with friends but i just can't. I'd rather be alone in my room with my fairy lights dimly lighting up the surrounding areas as I read my comfort book and drink lemonade. I don't like people especially. There's people i love obviously like my parents or siblings. I'll tolerate people but if i'm around them to long it will cause a panic. Even in social situations I keep a book and headphones on me to drown them out the best I can. My favorite room is my bedroom. My favorite time of the day is between 7:30 and 10:00 where i'm mostly certain I will be alone for the rest of the day with my computer and book and my one and only presence. I would like it to stay that way.

[incurable-pessimist]

How I feel about affection

I don't really like affection much. hugs or even just a little poke. i don't know why. believe me I used to love affection however, that was when i was a young child. I just don't like it. I wish I did sometimes it's just something that i don't really feel comfortable with when I've known you for a month or my whole life. I don't know why nor do I think I ever will. I've come to terms with it and accepted it.

[incurable-pessimist]

Different.

I don't feel like everybody else. I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like an old soul locked into a young body. I kinda like it. I'm kind of my own group. I wonder if there's someone out there who's like me. Will I ever meet them? Have I already met them? Who knows. I also don't like it because there's not many people who get me and understand me. That's okay though i don't really like people or social events. I just stay in my room so i guess that's normal for me. I guess I'm different. Its a love-hate relationship when it comes to that. I've come to terms with it and honestly I'm okay with it. i'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it most the time. It used to make me feel like an alien but now I just feel like me. Eccentric. different, book-lover, quiet, loner I've always been. -Bella Grace

[incurable-pessimist]

That one friend

We all have that one person in our lives that just gets us. That when you stop talking to them the world feels empty but when your around them you feel so free and alive. They slowly change your point of view on the world little by little until they are the main reason you smile and laugh. It makes it hard to sleep because of thoughts of this person. They are in your mind constantly. You constantly wonder how they are doing or what they are thinking. When you walk into a room full of people you only focus on that person. When you first met them you knew the two of you would click like tap shoes or colored blocks that the little kids play with. You feel comfortable around them. Everyone I know has met that person...i wonder when that day wil be for me. Who knows? Maybe I already met them and I just don't know it. I think I like the idea of being alone more than anything. -Bella Grace

[incurable-pessimist]

What is pessimism?

Well, first lets get to the basics. Pessimistic people have a tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe the worst is to come for them. FYI (please don't pretend to be pessimistic for attention its not going to get you anywhere) Okay now now here's for the deep dive into it all. They usually have a negative mindset thinking that everything is their fault even if they had nothing to do with the situation. excessive pessimism can actually cause paranoia fear. restricting a person's ability to move on from certain situations. Pessimism can affect communication skills, leading to more misunderstandings. Pessimists can feel distracted. unfocused, and potentially unwilling to do the things they truly want to do. They have a difficult time seeing the positive aspects in others or things around them or even themselves. Pessimists may lack hope and confidence and retain doubts about the future, even if there isn't a reason to have these doubts. Negative self-talk issues are common in pessimists. They often engage in negative self-talk and may concentrate on their flaws and weaknesses rather then their strengths. I know this because I, myself, am a pessimist.

-Bella Grace

[incurable-pessimist]

I am the way I am.

People try and fail to understand me. However, I should be the first to understand why I am the way I am. I don't yet know why I am like this or who I am. You don't need to understand me. I need to understand. I don't know why I'm like this nor who I am yet, I will stay the same quiet, pessimistic, bookworm, different girl I have always known. Some people may not like me or most people but I'm still going to be the only person I know how to be. I may not understand why I am like this but I know who I've grown to be.

-Bella Grace

[incurable-pessimist]

Self-introduction

Hello. My name is Bella. I don’t feel the need to tell you everything so I’ll just say that I like to read and I like to blog. I’d rather stay in my room with diet lemonade and a book than leave my house. I have people in my life yet, I don’t really hang out with ‘friends’ or anything. I don’t like affection but every once in a while I will enjoy it. I get sad over fake scenarios I make up in my head. I’m quiet, a bookworm, and eccentric. I don’t wear bright colors. I usually just wear sweatshirts and a pair of black jeans. That’s it.

-Bella Grace