ineffable-doll

[ineffable-doll]

i love illegal immigration like yes bitch get in here

[ineffable-doll]

add yours!

[ineffable-doll]

Proposal for new fandom etiquette:

If you read a fic because it was linked/recced somewhere, you leave a comment saying "came from XXX" and that comment doesn't need to include anything else.

Because when all of a sudden there's a lot of activity on one particular fic I WANNA KNOW WHY!!!!!

[ineffable-doll]

even on our worst nights

[ineffable-doll]

hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

[ineffable-doll]

Ask yourself: what’s good about this moment right now? Is the sun out? Can you hear birds? Are you drinking coffee? Can you smell freshly cut grass? Is your bed soft and warm? These little things are oh so precious and yet seem so arbitrary.

[ineffable-doll]

[ineffable-doll]

let’s eat leaves with mama

[ineffable-doll]

why bother caring about the environment when 1. It’s so obviously a lost cause and 2. There’s definitely going to be a nuclear war?

And what are you doing about it Anon? Learn about ecological restoration or get out of my way.

[ineffable-doll]

i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.

i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.

what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.

so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.

and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and you sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.

and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.

[ineffable-doll]

Art by Alfred Fernandes

[ineffable-doll]

who let this bird on the train

[ineffable-doll]

Nature + Fiddler

This month's (June) exclusive sticker club artwork. There are a few slots still open!

[ineffable-doll]

💫Cosmic Swallow💫

[ineffable-doll]

From Cleo's stream today (6/6/2025). I'm sure some people would like to hear this this pride month. <3

(Note: I cut some brief moments where Cleo read out some subs/donations, or slightly long pauses. But this is pretty much the entire clip.)

[Transcription:

Cleo: Do you know what I've not talked about for a while? I don't think- I think I got sick literally at the beginning of Pride Month. I think I did. Like, genuinely. So I think I have not pride, I have not said glory to you and your identity at all this month yet! So- like-

[CleoOWO redeem triggers, Cleo laughs]

Cleo [in high-pitched CleOWO voice]: Okay, sure, we can do it like this. I'll put in the hearts as well. [Cleo triggers the blush and hearts on their Vtuber model] Pride! Well, congratulations, I appreciate everybody here. And this is a safe, welcoming community. Doesn't matter if you're gay, or straight, or lesbian, or something else. Or, like, bisexual like me, or pansexual, or asexual, or trans, or I'm- I'm coming up- I'm not doing well with the whole list of things. You are welcome if you're not a bigot! Not for bigots!

So uh trans rights, gay rights- uh, hm- having a think. Uhm- I mean I like you as long as you... rights, woo! We appreciate pride month in all its forms. Hashtag not for bigots. If anybody in this chat has decided that they do not approve of the LGBTQ- alphabet mafia- get out! Uhm- yeah! Yay! [Cleo claps]

[responding to chat member] Aw, you're here strawberry, we're good! You and me, we're good!

[talking to entire chat again] I hope that you have a happy pride month and a happy rest of the year. And I know things- uhm- around the world are a bit tough and problematic and... uhm- we need to lock in. And I know that's hard. But you guys take care of yourselves and each other. Very important, okay? Take care of the community, make sure that if someone's fighting they're not fighting alone.

[CleOWO redeem ends, Cleo talks normally again.]

Yeah, I think that's a thing that I want to say to everyone. Like- the reason why we fight is because we have to. It would be nice not to have to fight but make sure we don't fight alone. Okay? Uhm-

[reading chat message] I'm glad we got to experience this during a CleOWO- Valid.

[reading another chat message] This is simultaneously the most heartwarming and terrifying experience in my life. Uhm, I think I embody that, that's valid.

[Cleo addresses the full chat again] All I'm saying is that there has been some backsliding in the world and you need to make sure that you do not let it go. But, also, people are more accepting now than ever. It is literally a small- like- there are people who are very pro-LGBT. Plus.

Uhm- most of the universe is just sort of like 'what, I don't care. You do you, I support you you do you it's fine'. And then you have the outright bigots. The outright bigot fraction is getting smaller and louder, okay? It is happening, they are smaller and louder than they've ever been. But still take care of yourselves.

[responding to chat] Yeah they're scared. They realise they're in their last throes of bigotry- I think- In most of the world's places. They're trying to make you more scared to be yourself, and I'm saying protect yourselves first. Make sure you are safe and that is the key thing. If you are not safe, I'm sorry just- just stay closeted until you can be safe. Because there's no poiint coming out and somebody hurting you. Get to safety first, okay? And then- and then fight. You can fight after you're safe, okay? And there is a whole community out there rooting for you.

End Transcript]

[ineffable-doll]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[ineffable-doll]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone