ineffablelesbisch

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"🤨"

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🐍🏠

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She had less than 20 minutes of screen time and managed to make an entire fandom watch Rab C. Nesbitt just to see her.

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" I forgive you"

And then Crowley sighs. That sigh isn't disappointment. It's exhaustion. The exhaustion of waiting for thousands of years to be brave to open his heart and to feel enough.

Crowley sighs like he's saying " I don't want you to forgive me. I want you to love me"

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The more it settles in, the more I understand Aziraphale’s shock at Crowley’s no. Crowley is the one who’s always wanted to ask Heaven his questions. Crowley is the one who’d planned to talk them into mercy. He’s the one who’d taught Aziraphale to stay with Heaven for safety’s sake, to go along with them as far as he could, for the chance to help Earth. He’s the one who told Aziraphale it was time to stop going along with Heaven when it came to Armageddon — they had to take a stand and try to change the outcome. And now Aziraphale sees a chance for them to do exactly that, all of that. He remembers how delighted Crowley was when he talked them out of trusting the Great Plan. He stopped them with a question! And now they say they trust him — that they’ll let him lead them! He believes he’s gotten to do what Crowley never did — ask those questions and get a response, and a wholly welcoming one. He thinks he can bring Crowley into a Heaven that wants to learn to love Earth. He thinks they can make space for mercy. And that the joy that was Crowley’s when he still believed he could ask his questions could be Crowley’s again! He saw him all alight and glad, once, guiding Creation into beauty. It’s all Crowley wanted then.

He hasn’t yet understood it’s not what Crowley’s wanting now. He doesn’t know that Crowley’s found that human life is sweeter — that Crowley only wants to love the world with two feet on the ground; and only with him there. Crowley would be as glad to watch Maggie and Nina love each other, and grow his plants, and guard his angel, as he ever was with the engine of the nebulae in his hands. And he still will be, once Aziraphale understands it’s all he wants too, and that together they have the power to make it so.

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Something something the way that Crowley introduced himself to Aziraphale the first time they met in the garden and reacted as if they had never met before. Something about him later behaving as if he did actually have those memories of their time in Heaven together and trying to pass it off as being someone different now. Something about Heaven's way of punishing angels that go against the plan by erasing their memories. Something about Crowley seeing Gabriel without his memory and saying "ask him properly." Something about "remember it now" "it hurts, to remember. my head isn't built for that" "I know. Do it anyway"

Something about "I know. Looking at where the furniture isn't"

Something about I know

[ineffablelesbisch]

I feel like an old lady jesus ew

[ineffablelesbisch]

Hi hello I'm new idk how to use this.