inhaleaaaaaaaa

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Guys- you know the runaway boat mission? How Flambae refuses to go on it. What if- hear me out- he’s afraid of water?

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So this is a secret dating sim, right? . . . Please?

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Can’t wait for the game.

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i need to say something. i need to s. s. aay. can i say something pleae. ese

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I did the thing I promised. It may be really bad, but like- I had to get it out of my system. I may finally be able to rest.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66402046

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YOU GET IT YOU GET IT

just played the demo.. i think he's alright .. .

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GRGGRGRGGRGRGR FRAME BY FRAMING THIS FUCKING TRAILER LOOKING FOR THIS FUCKING GUY

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Look at him, he’s so proud of her about to murder someone. They’re true besties

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HOLY SHIT HES SO FUCKING CUTE LOOK AT HIM I WANT TO THRASH HIM AROUND IN MY TEETH LIKR A SQUEAKY TOY

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Why is he a perfect dispatch for the first mission?????? “Don’t make the child cry”, I am now looking way too deep into this alongside the fact he (surprisingly) doesnt have any account of murder on file.

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Since I can’t find it anywhere and it might help people… also I am obsessed with this demo and must yap.

The special abilities of each ‘hero’!

Sonar -

When returning from a mission, Sonar changes forms. His Intellect stat swaps with Combat, and his Charisma stat swaps with Vigor. This remains until he returns from another mission to which it will swap back.

Invisagal -

When sent alone on a mission, travel and completion time are significantly faster.

Malevola -

I, unfortunately, do not know. I haven’t found any way to activate it! If anyone does! Tell me please!

Coupé -

Only able to be activated on non-solo missions. If placed in first slot, Combat is increased by 1. If placed in second slot, Mobility is increased by 1.

Prism -

Again, not a clue. I have no idea how to activate it. :(

Flambae -

After a success, Flambae gains 1 point each to his Combat and Mobility stats. This perk stacks but is completely reverted back to the base stats after a failure.

Punch Up -

No negative effects from becoming injured. Cannot be downed.

Golem -

Only works with non-solo missions. Depending on the slot Golem is in, one stat will increase by 2 and another will decrease by 1. (If you hover over Golem it will show which slots will do what.)

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When there is no other media to consume you play the demo for the eighth time. Can’t skip cutscenes, because they didn’t account for FREAKS LIKE ME

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Also! I’ve been figuring out the synergies! They seem to even have custom voice lines for being paired with eachother! These are the ones I found, there may be more though. Probably hard to read.

Coupé and Punch Up

C: “Knuckles.” PU: “Knives”

PU: “Did you get scarier?” C: “Did you get shorter?”

PU: “Ladies first.” C: “Ever the gentleman.”

C: “Don’t fall behind.” PU: “Ma’am yes Ma’am.”

C: “Top of the mornin’.” PU: “Alright, settle down.”

Flambae and Prism

Pr: “Hey hottie.” F: “Thanks for noticing.”

Pr: “It’s over for you bitches.” F: “Damn fucking right.”

F: “Don’t mess with perfection.” Pr: “He’s so real for that.”

F: “How’s my hair?” Pr: “Perfect as always.”

F: “Make some room everybody, clear the way.” Pr: “Bad bitches coming through!”

Sonar and Malevola

M: “Give ‘em Hell.” S: “Right back at you.”

S: “Oh, sick.” M: “I know right?”

S: “Fuck yes.” M: “Be cool.”

M: “Cool.” S: “Cool.”

S: “Fuck it, we ball.” M: “Damn right.”

Invisagal and Golem

I: “Sup big guy.” G: “Sup little lady.”

G: “Don’t disappear on me.” I: “Fiiine.”

G: “Where’d you go?” I: “Right behind you.”

G: “Wait for me, baby!” I: “Come on, slowpoke!”

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I am going to say the stupidest shit in front of this guy just to piss him off. I am going to use the wrong ‘your’re’, I’m going to tell him the earth is flat, I’m going to say the most uneducated shit ever.

Worst of all, I’m going to act like I’ve never heard of Harvard. Going to ask if it’s like some cute local community college.

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I need this insufferable little rat at my mercy, I need to beat the shit out of him, I want to punch that stupid fucking smug grin off his face, I want use him as a barbecue, I want to watch him fail to do a backflip after saying he totally can, I want to see him struggle.

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Fifth time playing the dispatch demo after learning Theres no fics about it and now trying to research characters so I can truly fulfill my sick fascination with this game.

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Replaying Road 96 in 2025 living in America is a trip