innermort - Tumblr blog

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cecealana

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look up in the mirror like "damn she the one" ✨

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How is everyone? I got drunk last night and am still very dehydrated

Also, I've list 8 lbs recently😁

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These old af pictures of me back from when restriction was my main symptom, not b!ng!ng and over eating 🙂 please I looked so good I wanna cry

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Postanowiłam, że będę się skupiać na ćwiczeniu brzucha i talii, bo mam ją mega małą i slabo zarysowaną i moglabym nad nią popracować. Wtedy jak już schudnę będzie to jeszcze lepiej wyglądało.

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I spent three weeks in a mental hospital and what I discovered there I feel like should be put into words.

we are not who you think we are.

the boy with tourettes told the funniest jokes

the girl who raked her nails up and down her skin could create the most exquisite drawings

the girl who abused drugs had the wisest soul

the boy with schizophrenia had the biggest heart

the girl who tried to kill herself told the boy with insomnia stories to help lure him to sleep

the boy who wanted to kill himself had the deepest passion for cooking

the girl with slits and scars all over her body dried my tears and told me I was beautiful

the boy with anger issues gave the warmest hugs

the girl with bulimia told everyone every day that they looked beautiful in their bodies

the boy who was a compulsive liar told us that he wanted us all to get better, and that he was for once telling the truth

the girl who almost drank herself to death stood up for anyone that felt they were feeling bullied

the boy with social anxiety made sure nobody sat alone at meals

we are not who you think we are.

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Ahhh yes the sweet sound of hurting myself by looking at pictures of me when I was 30 to 40 kgs lighter than now 😍 I don't care if I was "fIftEeN" and "a LiTeRaL cHiLd", I want that body back

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💚 ~

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13/Oct/21

I had my first evaluation at a psych ward today. This was the first time I spoke to a professional since I was 13 or 14 (can't remember but I was a teen). Ofc my stupid ass had to over share because I literally don't have anyone to talk to (i'm always the listener for everybody else :-) ), so everything just came rushing out. Ik it's technically not possible to "overshare" in this kinda setting because the more they know the better BUT. I told her about my eating disorder and of course she was all like "well if you're gonna be an inpatient here in the future, this will definitely be a topic and an issue that needs to be resolved", soOoO. I guess I'm gonna have to starve myself for the next couple months just in case they have space for me next year because they will probably monitor my eating at some point if not right from the beginning thanks to me spilling the tea

Like can't I just heal everything BUT my ed?? Iono why but I don't wanna lose her 😃

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nobody say nothin

me coming back on tumblr after two weeks of uncontrolled binges