insaneagony
insaneagony
Journal of thoughts
4 posts
messy thought outburst
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insaneagony · 2 months ago
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Maybe it's because I have never experienced unconditional love, no matter how much affection I receive now it doesn't fill the void inside me.
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insaneagony · 2 months ago
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Dear me,
I fear I'm broken beyond repair. There will be no resurrection this time. Maybe this is what I deserve.
Why can't I ever catch a break?
Why did no one tell me life was this hard?
All I ever wanted was someone in my corner to have my back while I fight my battles, is that too much to ask for?
But no the reality is, this coward doesn't want to fight any battles all I wanted was to get everything with no questions asked.
I'm tired of people, people bore me, annoy me, and make me despise every bit of my being. I'm incapable of loving and being loved.
Please make me disappear and erase what's left of me...
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insaneagony · 2 months ago
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Another day ended, as every other day woke up with a heavy mind full of worries about everything and anything under the sky. Was it a good day? Well that's a hard question to answer in a word.
Unlike my mind, the cherry blossoms adorned the streets. And just like the falling petals the time sprung by fast. Will I ever be content? The answer is not vague this time, it will be a NO.
I don't know if many of you felt this way, not knowing how to understand your feelings and thoughts. The constant exhaustion and frustration after facing disappointment time and time again.
I have reached a point where the slightest minor inconvenience broke me down. As a voice inside my head says is it the victim mentality I hold or am I beyond broken deep inside that it's very hard for me to function.
The once-little girl who had a lot of things to achieve has died for so long now. The one who remains fears the unknown. The heaviness of reality is weighing upon her.
What is left I dare ask!
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insaneagony · 3 years ago
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What is wrong inside you?
What is making you so miserable?
Why does everyone look happy except you?
Why can't you be happy for someone else without feeling sorry for yourself?
Why do you feel this raging agony for even the smallest of things?
When will the day you become the protagonist come, how long will you have to stay as an antagonist?
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