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need to get worse with someone, but we somehow fuck it up so bad we end up recovering instead
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I'm single because I'm fat.
I will be skinny.
To be skinny is to be adored.
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shout out to weight in anorexia diagnostic criteria for fucking me up hardcore I’m having the time of my life
#I won’t feel sick enough until my bmi is under 15 and I fall into the extreme category#tw dis0rdered e@ting
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symptoms so unbearable i just considered recovery for a few seconds
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Had a nightmare where I chewed a 10 calorie piece of gum.
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Trying to comment under a funny 4n@ acc’s post but saying “you’re so funny plz don’t d1e/go bald” feels wrong with this mental illness

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i have sm health issues rn and its actually fucking horrible, like the funny thing is if i eat regularly its still there, and when i dont its just the same, like if im gonna be in pain at least let me be skinny 🙏
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being lowkey anorexic while visiting my family is kinda crazy like we js had lunch and the abject horror on my face while looking at that fucking meal… insane. My grandma def noticed that I looked like I was abt to fucking cry
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“Have you guys heard of calorie banking it’s when you eat less calories some days so u hv more calories other days so ur overall average remains in a deficit” yeah actually i came up with that by being an anorexic 12 year old with family
#ares.alt#34blr#actually idk how common this is I tried to explain it in an ed server and everyone looked at me like I was a freak#😔😔#like guys trust me I can eat like 4k cals on family vacation and still avg to 300 cals a day for the months of April and may#by starving extra hard beforehand trust me bro
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I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
I WILL BE 100 POUNDS
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149 today even though I can't shit!!!
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I'm so tired of not being sick enough and all I can do is wait
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am i rlly mentally ill or am i js faking it
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ive been binge watching this guy on youtube who does stuff like 'only eat orange food for 3 days' eating vicariously through him rn
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its always “get out of the binge restrict cycle” “you wont get better with a binge restrict cycle” and never How was the binge restrict cycle it looked fun Was it fun
#lowkey binge restrict cycle if u never feel bad abt it is js weird sustainable weight loss trust#like i lost 50ish lbs in the past 9.5 months#and i was straight up js alternating between eating rlly little and a mix of binging and eating normal#(ie eating 1600 calories in a day but 1k of them were oreos eaten in one sitting)#prob more than 1600 actually#anyways i lowkey binged for 5 months so my weight loss on avg went from concerning to high end of normal#but honestly? it was lowkey fire binge restrict cycle was fun for once cuz i genuinely didnt give a shit about binging#until i gained like 6 lbs and then locked in and lost 20 more <3
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eating disorders are so fucking unserious like yeah this week i'm doing the jesse pinkman diet. yeah from breaking bad. this could kill me one day btw
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