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"Amulets shouldn't seeth with rage" "jewelry actually should not talk at ALL" quit being such a fucking hater oh my god

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Kind of funny that I use the google drive that I use to write fanfiction to also write documentary youtube videos about the space program. You look at one file and it's talking about the gemini spacecraft you look at the next file it's trucoop handjobs

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“For to wish to forget how much you loved someone—and then, to actually forget—can feel, at times, like the slaughter of a beautiful bird who chose, by nothing short of grace, to make a habitat of your heart.”

— Maggie Nelson, from Bluets

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good smut is really a character study and that is final. i need it to be about vulnerability i need it to be about trust or lack thereof and most of all i need it to be emotional agony. thats what sex is for

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I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

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Seth Armstrong, Positano, Italy, 2025, Oil on wood panel, 60 x 60 inches

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they've locked me in that work from home the work is me the home is my body and i cant fucking seem to escape

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we're so back

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— Daphne du Maurier

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Here is a google docs folder with over 75 scanned books in pdf form, almost entirely poetry collections. Featured poets include Mary Oliver, Louise Glück, Myung Mi Kim, Natalie Diaz, Ocean Vuong, Billy Collins, Jericho Brown, Jane Kenyon, Ellen Bryant Voigt, Ruth Stone, Naomi Shihab Nye, Robert Bly, Carol Ann Duffy, Juliana Spahr, and more. New books are added occasionally so try checking the folder every few months for new additions. Here is the poetry folder if the first link isn't working.

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Light reaches through a leaf and that light, diminished, passes through another leaf, and another, down to the lawn beneath.

— from "The Late Ambassadorial Light", Thomas Lux, The Cradle Place (2004)

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Be Not Afraid

An angel came into my room all like BE NOT AFRAID The angel was in flickering black-and-white or in Technicolor depending on the angle The angel was a giant rabbit six foot three or actually the angel was just some guy in a coat The angel was like looking in a mirror but only out of the corner of your eye at night The angel said WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON The angel said I CAN SENSE THE INTENSITY OF YOUR LONGING YOUR LOVE THE WEIGHT OF YOUR DEVOTION NOT TO GOD BUT HUMANITY DOESN’T IT SUCK I said sure he said LOOK WE HAVE THE SAME EYES and so we did numerous and blue the angel said I’M HERE FOR YOU I said okay but as in I’m your friend or as in I’m here to exhort you to abide by the will of God and we both laughed I said fine what’s God’s will for me then He said through a thousandth mouth I could not see: YOU MUST BE VERY CAREFUL AND YOU MUST BE KIND YOU MUST BE AFRAID YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID YOU MUST BE THE CONDUIT THROUGH WHICH THE WORLD SEES ITSELF A MIRROR HELD INFINITELY UP TO ITSELF EVERYONE WILL LOVE YOU NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT THIS YOU MUST BE DECORATIVE YOU MUST BE SUBSTANTIAL YOU MUST BE HYPOTHETICAL YOU MUST BE FOOLPROOF YOU MUST BE FOOLED YOU MUST BE SORRY YOU MUST BE SORRY YOU WILL ENGAGE IN MINOR FORMS OF PROPHECY AND IT WILL NOT TURN OUT WELL FOR YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT THIS YOU WILL BE ARRAIGNED ON CHARGES OF DESIRE YOU ARE NOT PERMITTED WANT WANT IS ALL YOU WILL HAVE YOU MUST FORGIVE YOU MUST NEVER BE FORGIVEN YOU MUST NOT DO WHAT GOD HAS WILLED FOR YOU EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH WILL BE CHANGED AND FORGET YOU YOU MUST DESTROY YOURSELF YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DESTROYED IT IS FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND THAT YOU DO THIS and I said where will you be Will you stay with me I said hello?

—Ellie Black, featured in Washington Square Review, Issue 52 (source)

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The Rooster

They have killed the rooster, thank God, but it’s strange to have my half of the valley unreported. Without the rooster it’s like my place by the Chinese elm is not here each day. As though I’m gone. I touch my face and get up to make tea, feeling my heart claim no territory. Like the colorless weeds which fail, but don’t give in. Silent in the world’s clamor. They killed the rooster because he cold feel nothing for the six frumpy hens. Now there is only the youngster to announce and cover. They are only aunts to him. Mostly he works on his crowing. And for a long time the roosters on the other farms would not answer. But yesterday they started laying full-throated performances on him. He would come back, but couldn’t get the hang of it. The scorn and the failing went on until finally one day, from the other end of the valley, came a deep voice saying, “For Christ’s sake, kid, like this.” And it began. Not bothering to declare parts of the landscape, but announcing the glory, the greatness of the sun and moon. Told of the heavenly hosts, the mysteries, and the joy. Which were the Huns and which not. Describing the dominions of wind and song. What was noble in all things It was very quiet after that.

— Jack Gilbert, Refusing Heaven (2005)

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[ID: A bowl of a bright yellow stew topped with cilantro, mustard seed, chili, and curry leaf. End ID]

ಉಡುಪಿ ಸಾಂಬಾರ್ / Udupi sambar

A sambar is a lentil-and-vegetable stew distinguished by the use of a particular spice blend (Hindi: सांबर मसाला "sāmbār masālā," "sambar spice"; Kannada: ಸಾಂಬಾರ್ ಪುಡಿ "sāmbār puḍi," "sambar powder"). Sambars are a staple of South Indian and Sri Lankan cooking, sometimes made in households for multiple meals a week. The word "sambar" can be traced back to the Sanskrit सम्भार "sambhārá," "collection of things required for a particular purpose”; “spices."

The lentil used in sambar dishes is usually tur dal (split pigeon peas), though arhar dal, tuvur dal, or even blends containing masur or mung dal may be used, depending on the cook or the region. Vegetables also vary between combinations of okra, potato, ash gourd (petha), bottle gourd (doodhi / lauki), drumstick (saijan ki phalli), beetroot, tomato, carrot, pumpkin, brinjal, and pearl onions, among others. The sambar masala fries chilis, curry leaves, dal, and various spices including cumin, coriander, and fenugreek, then grinds them into a spicy, earthy, fragrant blend.

This recipe makes a sambar in the style of ಉಡುಪಿ (Udupi) cuisine—a subdivision of the cuisine of the ತುಳುವ (Tuluva) people localised in the Udupi District of Karnataka, a southeastern coastal state of India. (Tuluva cuisine is also commonly found in Dakshina Kannada, Karnataka, and Kasaragod, Kerala). In the Udupi region, sambar may be known as "ಕೊಡೆಲ್" "kodhel"; perhaps related to "ಕಡಲೆ" "kadhale" "Bengal gram"; or "ಹುಲಿ" "huḷi"; "tartness." Udupi huli has coconut oil and jaggery as its primary distinguishing features: the jaggery's deep sweetness and the earthy pungency of unrefined coconut oil combine with the spice of the chilis and the sour fruitiness of the tamarind to create a complex, flavorful, well-balanced dish.

Udupi huli may be further divided into a few major types. ಮಸಾಲೆ ಹುಳಿ ("masāla huḷi") contains shredded coconut and vegetables; ಬೋಳು ಹುಳಿ ("bolu huḷi") contains vegetables, but omits the coconut.

Hotel-style masala huli recipes typically add a lot of jaggery to produce a distinct sweetness; cut back on the amount of coconut included; and contain onion and garlic. The other main type of masala huli—“temple style”—is sattvic (from Sanskrit "सत्त्व" "sattva": "goodness," "essence," "existence"), which in this context means that onions and garlic are excluded.

A sattvic diet in Hinduism centres around the concept of maintaining sattva by eating only pure and mild (sattvic) foods, and omitting tamasic (“dark,” "inert," "destructive"; from Sanskrit तमस् "tamas") and rajasic ("exciting," "passionate," from Sanskrit रजस् "rajas") ones. The concepts of sattva, tamas, and rajas (the गुण "guṇa" system) are central to the construction of caste: the degree to which each person innately inherits each quality supposedly determines their possession of characteristics including honesty, intelligence, and goodness (sattva), stupidity and lack of creativity (tamas), and passion and pridefulness (rajas); the possession of these characteristics in turn determines their rightful place in a professional and social hierarchy. The association of certain foods with certain qualities thus links diet to caste: a distinction in diet is one of the methods by which those belonging to upper castes maintain and police caste boundaries.

This recipe makes enough pudi for one pot of sambar. Traditionally, sambar pudi is created fresh each time the dish is made, but many households make large batches and store them. In this case, omit the coconut; or, use dried coconut and store the masala in the refrigerator.

Recipe under the cut!

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Ingredients:

Serves 4-6.

For the sambar:

2 cups chopped vegetables

1 red onion, sliced*

1 cup (200g) yellow split pigeon peas / tur dal / ತೂರ್ ದಾಲ್ (ಹಳದಿ ಸ್ಪ್ಲಿಟ್ ಪಾರಿವಾಳದ ಬಟಾಣಿ)

4 cups (1 litre) water, or as needed

1/4 tsp ground turmeric / haldi / ಅರಿಶಿನ

2 tsp table salt

2 tsp jaggery / gur / ಬೆಲ್ಲ*

1/4 cup (60mL) tamarind pulp (from 1 Tbsp dried tamarind / imlie / ಹುಣಸೆಹಣ್ಣು)

2 tsp unrefined coconut oil / nariyal ka tel / ತೆಂಗಿನ ಎಣ್ಣೆ

Ingredient list format is English / Hindi (Latin transcription) / Kannada. The Hindi is provided for convenience while shopping.

Udupi sambar usually uses any of: gourd, brinjal (Indian eggplant), pumpkin, dumstick (saijan ki phalli), and okra. Pearl onion is not usually used in this region, but you can add whatever you want, according to taste.

*For a hotel-style sambar, include the onion; increase the jaggery to 2 Tbsp.

For the spice paste / sambar masala / ಸಾಂಬಾರ್ ಪುಡಿ ("sambar pudi"):

1/2 Tbsp split Bengal gram / chana dal / ಹಳದಿ ಸ್ಪ್ಲಿಟ್ ಗ್ರಾಂ

2 tsp split black gram / urad dal chilka / ಸ್ಪ್ಲಿಟ್ ಬ್ಲ್ಯಾಕ್ ಗ್ರಾಂ

2 tsp coriander seeds / dhaniya / ಕೊತ್ತಂಬರಿ ಬೀಜದ

1/2 tsp fenugreek seeds / methi / ಮೆಂತ್ಯ

1 tsp cumin seeds / jeera / ಜೀರಿಗೆ

1 tsp ground turmeric

5-6 curry leaves / kari pati / ಕರಿಬೇವು

3-4 Byadagi or other dried red chilis / byadagi mirch / ಬ್ಯಾಡಗಿ ಮೆಣಸಿನಕಾಯಿ

4 cloves garlic, skins on*

Large pinch asafoetida / hing / ಇಂಗು

1 cup (100g) fresh coconut (about one coconut)*

1/2 cup (120mL) water

While the ratio of ingredients in Udupi sambar pudi vary slightly, the ingredients themselves are almost always consistent.

*For a hotel-style sambar, include the garlic, and decrease the coconut in the sambar masala to 1/4 or 1/2 cup (25-50g).

The grams and pulses in this pudi have many different names. You can find them in a halal or South Asian grocery store; look on the bag for the Hindi names (since they have been transcribed into Latin, the spelling may vary from what you see here).

The urad dal you find may be husked, and thus yellow instead of black; these will work just as well.

For the tempering / tadka / ಹದಗೊಳಿಸುವ:

2 Tbsp unrefined coconut oil

2 red chilis

8 curry leaves

1 tsp brown mustard seeds / rai / ಸಾಸಿವೆ ಬೀಜಗಳು

Recipes from north Karnataka may add cumin and whole, unpeeled garlic cloves to the tempering.

Instructions:

For the sambar pudi:

1. Break open the coconut and remove and shread its flesh.

If using a whole dried coconut, break into the shell with the wrong side of a hammer and pry open. Break into a few smaller pieces and peel with a vegetable peeler until the skin is removed from the white flesh, wearing something to protect your hand. Soak in warm water for several minutes to soften, and then grate or food process.

2. Heat 2 Tbsp of coconut oil in a skillet on medium-low. Add asafoetida and fry for 30 seconds, until no longer raw-smelling. Add dal and fry, stirring often, for 30 seconds until golden brown; add coriander, mustard, fenugreek, and cumin seeds and fry until fragrant.

3. Add curry leaves and fry until wilted, then add garlic and dried chilis and fry another 30 seconds to a minute, until fragrant.

4. Add coconut and fry, stirring often, for another few minutes until a shade darker. Add turmeric and stir.

5. Grind all ingredients into a paste in a mortar and pestle, then mix in about 1/2 cup water to loosen (if using dried coconut, you may need more water).

Or, put all ingredients along with 1/2 cup water into a blender or food processor and process until a relatively smooth paste forms.

For the sambar:

1. Wash tur dal to remove excess starch. Simmer dal with 2 cups water, 1/4 tsp ground turmeric, and 1 tsp coconut oil for about 30 minutes until very tender. Mash until relatively smooth with a wooden spoon or bean masher, or process briefly with an immersion blender.

You may soak the dal in water after rinsing them to reduce the cooking time, but it is not necessary.

2. Meanwhile, make the tamarind paste. Soak 1 Tbsp tamarind dried pulp in 1/4 cup hot water for 20-30 minutes. Squeeze the tamarind into the water to extract the pulp. Discard the tamarind seeds and husk. Optionally, depending on your preferred texture, push the mixture through a metal sieve.

3. Prepare vegetables. Slice the onion; remove ends of okra and drumsticks and cut into 2-inch pieces; quarter tomatoes; quarter brinjal; peel pumpkin and cut into cubes; peel and cube potatoes.

4. If using onion, add a teaspoon of coconut oil to a large pot and fry until translucent.

5. In the same pot, boil vegetables in just enough water to cover, along with a pinch of salt, until they are beginning to soften.

Some recipes call for the vegetables to be boiled, and others call for them to be steamed. I prefer boiling, since it produces a nice savory broth.

6. Mix vegetables, dal, tamarind, jaggery, sambar pudi, and salt to taste and simmer 5-10 minutes to allow flavors to combine and vegetables to cook under tender. Add water as needed. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro. Taste and adjust salt.

The final sambar should be pourable, like a thick soup—Karnataka sambar is typically thinner in consistency than Tamil Nadu versions.

For the tadka:

1. Heat coconut oil in a small skillet on medium heat. Add tempering ingredients and fry, stirring often, until chilis and curry leaves are a couple shades darker and the mixture is fragrant.

2. Pour the oil and tempering ingredients into the sambar and stir in. If you like, retain some of the tadka as a garnish to serve.

3. Serve warm, in individual bowls, alongside long-grain white rice. To eat drumsticks, scoop the center out and eat it; the tough outer rind is left.

If you intend to save some sambar, it's a good idea to make just enough tadka for what you plan to eat that day, and then make fresh tadka to pour over the reheated leftovers.

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found a rock in the kitchen and as I was about to throw it in the trash I thought "wait this is cruel I should let it outside" as if it was a living thing