ironstark17

[ironstark17]

Peter: you spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral

Tony: Kid. What the fuck?

Harley: we were literally talking about going to IKEA to get meatballs. Where the fuck did that come from?

Peter: am I wrong?

Tony: ...no, no you are not

[ironstark17]

*the avengers in a battle*

*Peter gets stabbed and falls on the ground*

Tony: Stay down! You are hurt.

Peter: It's fine I got stabbed before. I gotta go get them.

Tony: you dON'T BUILD AN IMMUNITY TO BEING STABBED PETER!

[ironstark17]

*Peter meets the avengers*

Clint: Hey! Nice to meet ya!

Steve: Hey, so your Tony's intern?

Nat: You must be pretty smart then

Peter: mhm

Tony: okay, that's enough, kids kinda shy. We're gonna go down to the lab now

Sam: bye mini stark!

Bruce: I guess the kid's really shy then. He didn't even go crazy about meeting Captain America

Bucky: Yeah, must be real shy to not care you've just fulfilled every kids dream

Clint: honestly, I'm offended

Nat: Clint, shut up, it's probably just scary meeting us all at once

Peter: *later* People think I'm very shy, anxious and quiet, but my Aunt just taught me that "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". I don't say much now

[ironstark17]

Peter: I’m sure wherever Mr Stark is now, he’s looking down on us

Peter: He’s not dead, he’s just very condescending

[ironstark17]

Tony : Kid did you eat all the powdered sugar donuts? Peter: *mouth full of donuts* Um. No? Tony : Then what's all that on your pants Peter: Peter: That's cocaine

[ironstark17]

Peter: when I die, donate my entire body to science

Tony: sure

Peter: except my middle finger

Tony: ...

Peter: send that to Harley

[ironstark17]

Peter: When my uncle died, I was like 12, and at the funeral I innocently said to May: “Oh May, Ben’s dead and now you’re the only family I have left and you’ve not got long to go either.”

Tony: Oof

Peter: And May didn’t like me indirectly calling her old-

Tony: I don’t blame her

Peter: So she leaned down and grabbed my ear, like she used to do.

Tony: Right

Peter: And she whispered: “You’ve not got long left either if you keep that up.”

Tony: Jesus

Tony: But

Tony: Is she still alive today?

Peter: Well no-

Tony: Then you’ve got the last laugh, havent you

[ironstark17]

*The Avengers sitting around the living room*

Clint: let's play Two Truths One Lie

Natasha: yeah i've heard of that one.

Peter: oh i'll go first!

Peter: i'm small, my eyes are green, and a whole building once fell on me and i almost died!

Tony: that's the right idea kiddo but it's gotta be a bit more challenging for everybod-

Pepper: his eyes are brown.

Tony: ....

Tony: a building wHAT

[ironstark17]

Tony: Peter is taking some antibiotics and one of the possible side effects is 'hyperactivity'.

Tony: Please pray for me during this difficult time.

[ironstark17]

Peter: You know I like how we say “Oh man” when when something goes wrong.

Peter: Because men are actually disappointing.

Tony:

Stephen:

Tony: Do we need to kill Wade.

Peter: No. I will get over this betrayal.

Wade: Babyboy, I’m sorry. I will buy you more ice cream.

[ironstark17]

Tony: Hey, Pete, you okay? You’ve seemed pretty distracted lately…

Peter: Oh, sorry. I was busy taking a Buzzfeed quiz on which sandwich I would be.

Tony:

Peter:

Peter: I was a chicken one-

[ironstark17]

Wade: Peter what the heck I thought you said you were gonna study

Peter: I am!! I need to warm up first though I just turned on my laptop

Wade: YOURE WATCHING “HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER”

[ironstark17]

peter with shuri: mr stark can we use your iron man suit for a video

tony not really paying attention: sure kid

peter: thanks !!

tony:

peter from the other room: this bitch empty-

tony, who is well aware of peters vine culture: peTER NO

[ironstark17]

tony: what are your interests?

wade: your son in my room.

tony: excuse me?

wade: the sun and the moon. i love astronomy.

[ironstark17]

My Fics

The Webs We Weave

Let Us Love You

To Us You’re Worth Everything

The Choices We Make

[ironstark17]

Tony: *has a big argument with Peter*

Peter: I’m going to Wade’s

Tony: don’t you dare-

[ironstark17]

peter: mr stark, mr dr strange wont come out of his room

tony: just tell him i said something

peter: like what?

tony: anything factually incorrect

strange, a few minutes later: did you just say the sun is a fucking planet-