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March + April Reading Wrap Up

Big Red Tequila by Rick Riordan - Novel (4 stars)

Like many, I read the Percy Jackson series as a child and was amped when I discovered that before the PJO series, Riordan wrote an adult crime series. Big Red Tequila focuses on Texas native Tres Navarre as he relocates to his hometown of San Antonio to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend, Layla. However, shortly after he arrives, Layla goes missing and Tres uses his skills as a private investigator to find her. As the investigation continues, Tres discovers Layla’s disappearance may be connected to his father’s mysterious homicide years before. 

I liked this book. It took me a while to get into it, but by the time the third act came around all three of my brain cells were synced up and I couldn’t put it down. I didn’t feel very connected to Tres or the other characters, not in the beginning. We get to know the characters as time passes, but I prefer to feel attached to a character before the action really amps up. I like to know about their personality, I want them to feel like a real person, and Tres, to me, felt like a cardboard cut out of a Brad Pitt-esque loser/detective/action hero. It wasn’t bad, though. I bought the second novel, so we’ll see how this series pans out. 

The Answer is No by Fredrik Backman - Short Story (4 stars)

Backman is a writer I’ve heard a lot about on BookTube and this short story was discounted on Amazon, so I decided to give it a shot. I read it while reading a longer non-fiction novel, partly because I finally wanted to get some use out of my Kindle, which I haven’t been using much recently. The Answer is No is a short story about a guy named Lucas who wants to be left alone. That’s the whole plot. It doesn’t sound like much, but this was a funny, sweet story that will live rent-free in my brain. Sometimes I thought the humor was getting too obnoxious, but as it breached that line it always seemed to reel back in right after. This story is short and sweet, so I’d recommend giving it a shot. 

Mindhunter by John E. Douglas - Novel (4 stars)

This was a tough one to read. Mindhunter is a memoir by John Douglas, an FBI agent who helped form the behavioral science unit. It details what led to the creation of the unit, as well as anecdotes and stories throughout Douglas’s career. It was an interesting and eye-opening novel, but be warned, details of grotesque crimes are recounted in this book. You’ll like this novel if you’re a true crime buff. 

Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka - Novel (5 stars) 

My first five-star novel of the year! I was looking forward to reading this book for a long time and it didn’t disappoint. Notes on an Execution details the life of serial killer Ansel Packer as he waits to be executed. His life story is told through the eyes of the lead detective on the case, Ansel’s estranged mother, and the sister of one of Ansel’s victims. This novel was so layered and complex. Every character had a little bit of good and a little bit of bad in them, which made them feel like real people. Ansel was very similar to real-life serial killers, and if you’re a true crime buff, you’ll recognize similarities in his story with the real-life stories of serial killers all over the globe. 

My favorite thing about this book was that it focused on the aftermath of Ansel’s crimes rather than the crimes themselves. The novel showcased how peoples’ lives were changed by Ansel’s actions and how Ansel viewed himself, his crimes, and the people around him. It also focused on Ansel’s misogyny, which I liked because the majority of serial killers are misogynistic and kill women to feel powerful. Kukafka definitely did her homework before writing this novel. The language used was poetic without feeling too flowery. I recommend this book a million times over. 

The Corpse Exhibition and Other Stories of Iraq by Hassan Blasim - Novel (3 stars) 

My thoughts on this book are conflicting. The Corpse Exhibition is a series of short stories set in Iraq. They are all very dark, but this novel has the same problem that the majority of short story collections do, which is that some of the stories are much better than others. The stories in this collection ranged from deep, poetic, and profound to twisted and confusing. You may enjoy this book better if you know a lot about Iraq, as there was some commentary I didn’t fully understand since I’m not well-versed on what it’s like to live there. It’s still an interesting read. I might reread it and see how it makes me feel. 

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King - Novel (3.5 stars)

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon is about a girl named Trisha who gets lost in the Appalachian woods while hiking with her family. This book has been on my shelf since 2018. I’ve begun reading it multiple times only to get distracted by something else. Before any of you come at me, my complaint about this book isn’t that there aren’t any monsters or supernatural mayhem occurring. I did enjoy it, it just wasn’t for me. Honestly, I don’t have any intense feelings about it. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it, I’m just glad I finally finished it so it will stop glaring at me from my bookshelf, ridiculing me. 

Fall of Hades by Richard Paul Evans - Novel (2 stars)

I initially gave this 3 stars, but it doesn’t deserve it. Fall of Hades is the sixth book in a series that follows Michael Vey, a teenager with superpowers, and his friends as they attempt to stop Elgen, the company that gave him his powers, from dominating the planet. 

I’ve got complicated feelings about this series. I started it when I was eleven and, by the time I was thirteen, I decided to take a break from it. There were two books left in the series at the time, and I wasn’t ready to let go of it, so I reread the first four books repeatedly. I tried to count how many times I read the first book and lost count after eleven. I decided that this was a good year to finally finish the series, especially since I was looking for books that were lighter to read after Mindhunter and Notes on an Execution. 

Fall of Hades is similar to other books in the Michael Vey series. The villain is over the top and comically evil, and Michael and the other main characters are the same variation of “Don’t kill people! That’s wrong! Take me instead!” Also, there was a lot of pointless bullshit backstory about one of the minor characters. There was a huge secret throughout the series that was finally revealed in this book and the reveal underwhelmed me. Five books is such a long time to wait just to be disappointed. Also, the ending was the most comical thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. 

On top of everything else, everyone rides the main character’s dick so hard in this novel. Taylor, Michael’s girlfriend, gets way too jealous any time any female even breathes in Michael’s direction, and one particular character is so enthusiastic about giving his life for Michael when literally nobody asked him to do that, and the situation did not demand it. 

Anyway, I don’t recommend this series. 

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins - Novel (5 stars)

If you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what the Hunger Games series is about, just look it up. I doubt there is anyone who doesn’t know what this series is about yet. 

Like everyone else, I am bitten by the Hunger Games bug now that the new book is out. I have a confession to make - I never finished the original trilogy! I started it when I was eleven, just like the Michael Vey series, so I decided to hop back in. I had already read the first book, but for some reason, I didn’t really enjoy it that much. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen the first movie so many times? Who knows. But my experience with this book was much better. It is such a layered novel. Anyone could’ve written a stupid YA novel about teens fighting in a deadly game, and many have. But it takes a very special writer to craft an amazing critique of elitism and oligarchy. The games in this novel are much deadlier than the previous book. It’s emotionally complex, it’s well-written, it’s amazing. If you read the first book but are on the fence about continuing the series, please do. It’s splendid. 

The Fireman by Joe Hill - Novel (5 stars) 

My Joe Hill tour continues. I’ve read this novel in the past but decided to go through it again in preparation for his new novel. Dragonspore, a deadly virus that causes the host to burst into flames, is sweeping across the globe. Nurse Harper Grayson and her husband, Jakob, promise to end their own lives if they catch it however shortly before Harper contracts the virus, she discovers she is pregnant, and she is determined to live long enough to deliver her child. After Jakob abandons her, Harper meets John Rookwood, a fireman who not only has the virus but has learned to use it as a weapon. Harper must learn Rookwood’s secret before the virus can kill her. 

This is one of my favorite novels. The characters are realistic and lovable, the stakes are high, and it’s a real page-turner. Reading it makes me cry every goddamn time. It has wonderful critiques of cliques, church culture, and the human condition. It’s a lovely novel that combines elements of the Lord of the Rings, the Stand, and Ferenheight 451. Read it. Right. Now. 

The Final Spark by Richard Paul Evans - Novel (2 stars)

I did it! I finished the Michael Vey series! And it only took me ten years! The Final Spark is the last novel in the Michael Vey series. It was pretty predictable. It confirmed a suspicion I’ve had since I was eleven. I skimmed the first third of the novel, as there was a lot of pointless bullshit. I’m a little sad I didn’t enjoy it. I loved this series so much as a child, and I'm sad wasn’t able to enjoy the ending the way I enjoyed the rest of the series. Also, it was weird that Michael didn’t show up until the final three chapters. 

Basketful of Heads by Joe Hill - Comic (4 stars) 

Another work by Joe Hill! Basketful of Heads is a comic that follows June Branch who is trapped on an island during a storm with four dangerous criminals who have kidnapped her boyfriend. Luckily for June, she’s discovered a mystical axe that leaves the victim alive after decapitation. This was a fun comic and didn’t take too long to finish. It was bloody and comical, and June was a great final girl. Highly recommend. 

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins - Novel (5 stars)

I did it! I finished the original trilogy! Now I can read a Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes! Mockingjay is the final book in the main Hunger Games trilogy. This book was horrifying, more so than the original two. Like Catching Fire, it has some wonderful critiques, but also offers a lot of character development for Katniss and Peeta. Wonderful book, 10/10, made me cry. 

Funny Story by Emily Henry - Novel (4 stars) 

I loved this book! I don’t usually like rom-coms but this one was pretty solid. Funny Story is about Daphne who was recently dumped by her fiance, Peter, for his girl best friend who she was told to not worry about. With nowhere else to go, Daphne moves in with Miles, ex-boyfriend to Peter’s new girlfriend. After an awkward encounter with Peter, Daphne lies and tells him that she and Miles are now in a relationship. This was such a fun novel. I listened to the audiobook and the narrator was brilliant. The characters felt real and lived in, the spicy scenes were well-written, and the whole book deserves one big chef’s kiss. If you like rom-coms you’ll love this book. 

(I just found out Emily Henry, like me, is from Ohio, yet continuously writes about Michigan? BETRAYAL! She is no longer welcome in the Buckeye State.)

Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman - Novel (3 stars) 

Dungeon Crawler Carl follows a Coast Guard vet of the same name and his ex-girlfriend’s cat, Princess Donut, as they’re subjected to a video game-style reality show, in which they must win the game or forfeit earth over to an intergalactic corporation. If this sounds like a fun concept, it was! But honestly, I was a little disappointed. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but something about this missed the mark. I gave it four stars, but honestly, I think it might be closer to 3. There are two more books in the series, and I’ll probably get them from the library. 

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins - Novel (5 stars)

Finally! Now I can read Sunrise on the Reaping! The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes is a prequel to the Hunger Games trilogy and features Coriolanus Snow as the protagonist. The novel takes place during the tenth annual Hunger Games and this year the gamemakers are trying something new. They’re going to give each tribute a mentor to help them survive the games, and as a trial run, Coriolanus and his classmates will serve as the mentors. 

This is an interesting read because Snow is such a bad person it’s not even funny. But it also gives us a glimpse of what drives Coriolanus and the circumstances that have helped craft him into the villain he is. I’m not saying Coriolanus is an anti-hero because I believe he is 100% a villain. In any other story, Coriolanus could’ve been the misguided protagonist who learns the errors of his ways and changes for the better, but he seems to believe that everything wrong in his life is the fault of the districts and the rebels, when really the Capitol is to blame. It’s an interesting read, but beware, it’s hard to get through due to Coriolanus’s inner monologue being the most batshit I’ve ever read. 5 stars! 

The Last One at the Wedding by Jason Rekulak - Novel (4 stars)

This novel follows Frank, a UPS worker in his fifties who has just been invited to the wedding of Maggie, his estranged daughter. After meeting Maggie’s fiance, Aiden, and getting a glimpse into Maggie’s new life, Frank suspects there is more to Aiden and his family than it seems, but he’s afraid to rock the boat and risk alienating his daughter forever. 

This is a great mystery novel. I finished half of it in one day BECAUSE I HAD TO KNOW! It’s solidly written. Some of the plot twists I predicted, but I think that’s because the plot twists made sense to the story, which was refreshing. I hate it when the plot twists come out of left field. When I discover a plot twist, ideally I’d like to reread the novel and say to myself, I can’t believe I didn’t see it! Because effective plot twists don’t come out of left field, they’re hinted at, and this story did such a good job. 

I liked this more than Hidden Pictures, which is another Rekulak novel, because the theme of the story was effective and I enjoyed Frank’s character arc and the troubling situation he’s been placed in. Great novel! Four stars. 

Mickey 7 by Edward Ashton - Novel (3.75 stars)

This story was recently made into a film with Robert Pattinson, which is how I knew about it. I didn’t plan on reading it for a while, but then I discovered I had a twenty-dollar reward at Barnes and Noble! 

Mickey 7 follows Mickey Barnes who is an expendable on a colony mission on the planet Niflheim. Mickey has a really shitty position as expendable. Expandables are individuals who endure suicide missions. Need to patch a hole in the ship? Call Mickey. Need someone to test out a deadly virus? Wake Mickey up. Need someone to dick around in the scary wastelands plagued with monsters? Mickey’s your guy! After Mickey is killed on these suicide missions, they clone his body and upload a save-state version of his memories and personality. However, after the seventh Mickey is mistakenly presumed dead, they print out Mickey 8, and since multiples aren’t allowed, one of them has to go. Of course, neither of them wants to die, so the only solution is to keep Mickey 7’s existence a secret. 

This was a really interesting novel. I gave it 3.75 stars, but looking back I might’ve been too critical. My hopes for this novel were through the roof, but the reality disappointed me a bit. I liked Mickey’s character arc, and I liked the moral dilemmas it raised, but something about it left me dissatisfied. I might read it again in the future to see if I change my mind. 

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones - Novel (5 stars)

Holy shit. I mean it when I tell you I had no clue where this story was going. It was the wildest shit I’ve read in a while. 

This story is about four Indian men who did something pretty fucked up and on the verge of the tenth anniversary, something decides to take its revenge. I refuse to tell you anything more. You have to go in blind like I did because holy shit! 

My heart was banging against my ribcage the entire time. Wild novel. 10/10, please read. 

Shark Heart by Emily Habeck - Novel (Did Not Finish)

I’ve decided to include a DNF since I got pretty far into it. Shark Heart is about Lewis and Wren, a married couple who live in a world where sometimes people mutate into animals. Some turn into zebras and some discover they’re pregnant with birds, and Lewis has recently been diagnosed with a rare mutation that will transform him into a great white shark. You may think this sounds like a humorous concept, but believe me when I tell you this book is anything but humorous. 

This concept is not treated like a silly thing that happens sometimes but is treated realistically. This mutation, in this world, is similar to cancer or schizophrenia or worse. Lewis has to accept the fact that the last year of his human life will be very painful and isolating and end with him losing himself entirely. Both Lewis and Wren have to accept that they will never see each other again, never have children, and never grow old together. This is especially challenging for Wren, who has never trusted love in the past and already has experience with degenerative diseases afflicting the people she cares about. This is a beautifully written story, and so worth the time you’re going to invest in it. 

But Rick, if it’s so good, why did you DNF? Because I wasn’t strong enough. This was a beautiful novel, and I might return to it at some point, but Jesus Christ, man. I couldn’t do it. The last day I read it, I cried so hard my stomach hurt like I was doing ab crunches and I decided to give another book a try. I DNF’d at 40%. I might come back to it, maybe another month when I’m feeling a little too happy. 

Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree - Novel (4 stars)

After Shark Heart, I needed something a little lighter, something that would help me relax and rewind, so I read Bookshops and Bonedust, which is a prequel to Legends and Lattes. It follows Viv, the protagonist of the first book, who gets gravely injured on a mission and while recovering, falls in love with a tiny bookshop on the coast. 

I liked this book, but I had a hard time getting into it. Part of the reason is that I currently don’t have much to do right now, I’m in between jobs and my classes don’t start back up until the end of the month, so free time is one thing I got plenty of. Because of this, I’ve been reading books that capture my attention or are easier to get through. This book is a slower-paced novel with lower stakes than what I’m used to, so part of me had to fight to get through it, even though I finished it in a couple of days. I gave Legends and Lattes five stars and part of that was because at the time I had a part-time job, was struggling with classes, and my mental health was the worst it ever was, so I needed a reprieve. 

In many ways, it improved upon the last installment. I liked the side characters better, and the pacing felt more fluid. I liked the character development and how it naturally leads into L&L. The ending was very sweet, but had I known what my experience was going to be, I might’ve saved this book for a rainy fall day, or when I was stressed out and needed something lighthearted. 

Thanks for reading. I read six books in March and ELEVEN in April. Dear God, I can’t wait for my classes to start. I’m sorry for the lack of essays. I’m working on another book review that I hope to have ready soon. See y’all later. 

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Jan + Feb Reading Wrap Up

I will be the first to admit that it’s a little late for a February wrap up when it’s nearly April, but I wasn’t planning on doing one until recently, so fuck off. 

Ushers by Joe Hill - Short Story (4 stars)

I’ve been a Joe Hill kick recently, since his new novel comes out in October. Ushers is a short story that follows a young man who can see grim reapers, and this ability affects his life in both positive and negative ways. I gave this story 4 stars. It was okay, but I don’t really like short stories for the simple reason that they are too short! It was creepy, it was well written, and an overall interesting read, so if you want something spooky, you want to give Joe Hill a shot, or you just have a free lunch break, take a gander at it. 

The Pram by Joe Hill - Short Story (3.5 stars)

Another Joe Hill short story, this entry follows a husband who comes across a supernatural pram and, as you can imagine, creepy chaos ensues. This was a fun read. I didn’t enjoy it as much as Ushers. I don’t enjoy stories that are particularly hopeless, and I also don’t fully enjoy stories where the main character is evil, an unreliable narrator, or crazy, because it tends to make me sympathize with them less. It was well written, just as Ushers was, and I would like to know more about the lore of the story. The background of the story seems so much more interesting than the story itself. 

Ancestor by Scott Sigler - Novel (3 stars)

Ancestor follows a team of experts as they attempt to craft a brand new species with the specific purpose of xenotransplantation. In the process, they create hungry entities that stalk the humans they were created to help. You’ll like this novel if you enjoyed Jurassic Park. It has a healthy balance of likable and unlikable characters. This was a fine novel. I gave it three stars. I wasn’t angry, I read it, but had I known what my experience would be, I probably would’ve gone with something else. Ancestor has the feel of a big budget action movie that you go to see on a weekday because nothing else is playing that evening. Or better yet, some random action thriller you found on Netflix that you turn on while you clean the house. It’s fine. My only major problem with the story is that the monsters weren’t scary to me. The descriptions made them sound like mutated chickens, and the image was more surreal than it was scary. I don’t know if I can recommend this. I don’t think I’m in the target demographic. You’ll probably like this novel if you enjoy James Patterson or Michael Crichton. 

Stones to Abbigale by Onision - Novel (0 stars) 

Holy shit. This was the worst book I've ever read. Ever. I’m not kidding. I read this as part of a reading challenge, and I have so many regrets. The only good thing to come out of it was my new skill of being able to stop reading books that I hate. If I start a book and I don’t jive with it, it’s a DNF now. I can’t ever get the time back that I wasted reading this garbage. At one point, I crumpled up a page, threw it in the toilet and pissed on it. Click here or here for more details. 

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson - Novel (4.5 stars)

I’ve been hearing about Brandon Sanderson for years so I was excited to read his stuff for the first time. This book was good, had some really solid worldbuilding, but I’ll warn you, it is long and it is part of a series. The final 15% made me feel like I was on drugs and I was losing my goddamn mind. Trying to explain the ending to the uninitiated is like trying to explain Endgame to someone who has never seen a marvel movie. It would be five stars but I didn’t enjoy the pacing of the novel. For a more in-depth review, click here.

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer - Novel (0.5 stars)

Annihilation follows a government funded team as they enter a mysterious land afflicted with paranormal activity known as Area X. I didn’t like this book. The issue is that I don’t enjoy ambiguous stories and I didn’t know that’s what I was walking into. Who is that? What is this? What does that mean? Why is this happening? How does the story end? Who knows? Who cares?! If I’m going to devote my time to a novel, I would like to A) relate to the characters, B) understand what is going on, and C) know that there was a point to what I just read. Even stories that aren’t inherently deep, like the Fast and the Furious franchise, have a point. And the point of the Furious franchise is to entertain. The Hunger Games is a critique of elitism and power structure. A story should be about something and if it’s not about anything, it should at least try to entertain. I didn’t know what Annihilation was about or what it was trying to do. My problem with ambiguous stories is that a lot of them are pointless meanderings masquerading as deep and complex story telling. You can write virtually anything and say, “Well, it’s not supposed to make sense!” When I finished Annihilation I was left no different than the start of the story. It made me feel nothing. 

And this is a side tangent, but what is with the Snowbird thing? For the uninitiated, the main character’s husband had a nickname for her, and the nickname was Snowbird. He kept repeating it over and over again in every flashback and it annoyed me. A part of it made have been the fault of the narrator, as I listened to the audiobook and her drawl on the word made me want to slit my wrists. 

I’m left asking, what was the point? It was a six hour audiobook, why did I devote so much time listening to that when I gained nothing? Not even entertainment? I was bored and annoyed. The climax was confusing and lackluster. I saw the sequel on sale this week for 1.25 and I had to remind myself how much I hated the first book, but come on! A 1.25?! Can you think of a place where you can get a book for a 1.25? I might go back and see if it’s still there. For a 1.25 I’d buy twelve more Onision books. 

Talking as Fast as I Can by Lauren Graham - Novel (4 stars)

It should surprise nobody that I am a Gilmore Girls fan. When I discovered Lauren Graham had a memoir, I jumped at the chance to read it, and it was splendid. The novel includes dozens of anecdotes (funny, sad, and everything in between), focused on Gilmore Girls and the overarching structure of Graham’s career. I highly recommend this if you like Lauren Graham or Gilmore Girls. It’s funny, it’s touching, and I just discovered that Graham has written a fiction novel which I will be reading very soon. 

Clown in a Cornfield by Adam Cesare - Novel (3.5 stars)

Clown in a Cornfield follows Quinn Maybrook, who, after moving to a small town, finds herself trapped in a cornfield with her new friends and several chainsaw-wielding psychopaths wearing clown costumes. This was a good book, though I was a little disappointed. If you’re on BookTok, you know people have talked up this novel, and I was expecting a little more. For one thing, I didn’t feel very connected to the protagonist. We know how she feels and we know about her past, but we don’t really see a lot of her personality. In larger conversations, it feels as if she’s just a bystander. Other than that, things were okay. It was enjoyable, and I wasn’t really creeped out while reading this. It is classified as a horror, but I’d say it’s closer to a suspense novel. There’s a sequel, but I probably won’t read it. This could be a standalone novel if you don’t read the epilogue. 

Thanks for reading. I may do these monthly or bi-monthly, I haven’t decided yet.

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I am tremendously entertained by Matt Murdock very grimly and seriously arguing, "Your Honor, he wasn't even wearing his magical amulet"

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me, pressing play on daredevil: born again: WE ARE SO BACK

me, 17 minutes later: WE ARE SO OVER.

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no matter what this will always hold true in a daredevil series:

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#pictures taken moments before disaster

DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN S1E02: Optics

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DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN

S01 E01 : Heaven's Half Hour | dir. Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead

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At least Born Again holds to the metric that if I’m having a bad day, Matt Murdock is having a worse one.

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The most unrealistic part of this show is the idea that Fisk could declare his mayoral candidacy while Karen Page was in the city and she wouldn’t immediately hunt him for sport

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Daredevil: Born Again, Heaven's Half Hour (S01E01)

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something something disney using elden and deborah as promo and then killing foggy and tossing karen to the other side of the country IN THE FIRST EPISODE

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Born Again Put a Bullet in My Childhood

*Born Again Spoilers*

The return of the Man Without Fear not only broke my heart, it signifies the end of my childhood. The bullet fired by Benjamin Pointdexter went straight through its victim and into the last bit of nostalgia I held for my younger years. 

I was twelve years old in April of 2015. The concept of a streaming service was still new to me, and I expected the first Marvel/Netflix show to be reminiscent of a low-budget fan series. I was going through a lot at the time. My parents were getting divorced, my grandfather was sick with cancer, and my family was on the verge of being homeless. On April 10th, my father and I stayed at my grandad’s house. Grandad was at the hospital because his lung cancer had taken a turn for the worst, and I curled up on the worn couch as spring air filtered in from the open window and my Dad sat down with a grunt in the recliner. My Dad turned on the show and I was enthralled. 

I had never seen a superhero show that felt so adult, so real, so slick, and complicated and heavy. I related to Matt Murdock, someone who always seemed to have some sort of obstacle ahead of him. I related to Matt’s boyhood counterpart who was concerned about his father making the rent payments on time. I related to being small, consumed with the big mysterious world that can change at any moment with various levels of stability. I liked that Matt Murdock kept going, no matter how bad things got. 

Two days later, I was sitting in my bedroom late at night, watching the infamous episode “Nelson V. Murdock” on my Wii console, legs folded under me, chewing my nails as Charlie Cox and Elden Hensen cried on screen. I was still thinking about that episode the next morning as we drove to Grandad’s house. Later that day, the police called informing us that our house had been robbed. My TV and Wii console were both stolen along with all our other possessions. The drawers in my bedroom were pulled free and clothes were strewn about. Looking at my room, I felt naked. There were Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle decals on my walls and I wondered if the thieves looked at them when they came into my room. I wonder if they felt bad about stealing from a child and I knew they probably didn’t. Two days after that, we were officially evicted. 

In 2018, I was an angry teenager. My mother was getting remarried and I didn’t like the guy. I didn’t like that we were moving or that I wouldn’t see my friends as much anymore, even though they didn’t feel like my friends at the time. Most of them treated me like shit because we were all young and unhappy about something. I was suicidal but I didn’t fully understand what I was feeling. I pretended to be happy all the time and that made it worse. The new season of Daredevil was the only good thing I had going on in my life. I coveted the episodes, watching one every other week, taking my time. When the series was canceled I was halfway through the season. I stopped watching it and I wouldn’t finish it until 2024. I didn’t want the story to be over. I didn’t want to say goodbye to Matt, Karen, and Foggy, my only real friends. 

Recently, I’ve been struggling with the concept of growing up. I’m twenty-two years old and I’m in a weird space where I’m not a kid but I also don’t feel like an adult. It feels like I stopped aging in 2020. I keep reminiscing, thinking to myself “Things used to be better,” even though I know that isn’t true. I’m in college, I’m in therapy, I’m on medication, and life is good. Yet, I can’t seem to move on from periods of my life that have passed. I find myself dreaming about my childhood home and places I lived in my teens. They’re always altered, mashed together like some fucked-up Winchester mystery house. 

For years I wanted Daredevil to return. The original series was the postmark of my adolescence. Matt, Foggy, and Karen did more for me during the worst parts of my life than most of my friends have. I wanted to see them again. It was so weird when I got my wish. Tuesday night, I assembled the best bar food I could find, spicy chicken wings, fries, mozzarella sticks, a big juicy burger, and three ice-cold bottles of Coors Light. I set my favorite Daredevil comics and Funko figurines around my television set and placed my fancy chair right in front of it. Seeing Matt, Foggy, and Karen together again was like a dream or a hallucination. And none of that compared to the shock of seeing Foggy gunned down in the street. Hand covering my mouth, food getting cold next to me, and my cousin crying on speakerphone, I watched one of my best friends bleed to death on screen. 

I’m a sensitive person and I tend to overthink. I like drawing connections, even if they don’t make complete sense sometimes. In the aftermath of the Born Again pilot episode, sitting on my chair and staring at the ceiling, I realized something: I can finally move on. In some odd, fucked up way, seeing my three favorite comfort characters together again, and seeing one of them die, has given me a sense of closure on my childhood. No TV show was meant to last forever. I’m glad the 2015 Daredevil series died a hero before it could become a villain, and I’m glad the new series is taking a different route.  Seeing a definitive end to the original series is permission for me to let go of my unhappy adolescent years and move on. I’m grateful for that, and I know that Born Again is going to make me cry more in the future. 

Tonight, I will drink to Nelson, Murdock, and Page and all they’ve done for a lonely kid.

Rick Stepp (irresponsibleink@gmail.com)

[irresponsibleink]

I Read the Highest and Lowest Rated Books I Own

2/21/25 

I love buying books more than I love reading them. The oldest books on my shelf are from middle school, and some of those elite remain unread. In October I had a realization - if I continued to read and buy books at my current rate, then by the time I die I will have accumulated thousands of books, having only read a rough ten percent of that collection. To combat this issue, I donated several books and started reading more intently. I enjoy perusing BookTube and a recent trend has been uprising, a challenge where a reader finds the lowest-rated book and the highest-rated book in their library and reads them back to back. 

I was enthralled by this concept! I had so many books in my library that sat unread for years. What would be the lowest-rated book, and what would be the highest-rated? How would they compare? I rummaged through my library, cataloging every book, and then with my complete list, I scrambled to Goodreads to see the results. I cataloged my collection in October and at the time the lowest-rated book on my shelf was Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker with an average star rating of 3.35. The highest rated book in my collection was Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman with an average of 4.53. I was excited to dive into the challenge, but school got in the way and I hit a depressive slump in November (I wonder why that was). 

By the time January came around I was excited to complete the challenge. Only I now had more books in my library that I got over Christmas. If I were a normal person, I would have just read the original two I had selected and called it a day. But I enjoy intense suffering, so after cataloging my new books I returned to Goodreads with not-so-surprising results. 

The highest-rated book in my library was now The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson with an average of 4.67 and the lowest-rated book was now Stones to Abbigale by Onision with an average of 1.87. If you know any information about these two books or these two authors, you know how they contrast each other. 

I hear the name Brandon Sanderson a lot in writing circles. He’s known for his writing courses and his stellar fantasy novels. People I know and trust rave about him, so he’s been on my TBR for a while now. The Way of Kings is the first Sanderson novel I have ever obtained and this particular copy happened to be 1250 pages long. Onision is famous for other reasons. Onision, or Gregory James Daniel, or James Jackson, depending on where you look, is a disgraced YouTuber who has been accused of grooming children and sexual assault. I’m not well versed on the controversy, but his books have made the rounds on BookTube and are infamously bad. Like Sanderson, I had never read Onision’s work, but the 1.87 rating scared me. The Goodreads user base tends to be very kind with their reviews. To find anything below 3 stars is very concerning. 

Stones to Abbigale by Onision

This novel is about a teenager named James who falls in love with his classmate, Abbi. In terms of plot, there’s not a lot else going on. Instead of a typical narrative, James stumbles from one plot point to another without real motivations or goals. Even events that should hold weight, such as a school shooting, feel arbitrary and meaningless. The only thing James thinks about is Abbi. James has no interesting traits, despite being told by the author how many good qualities James has, and despite every character riding his dick for the majority of the novel. You got James’s mom who lets him do whatever he wants, Abbi who exists just so James can save her and feel good about himself, Davis who is secretly in love with James, Jason the school bully who hates James but respects him nonetheless, and his teachers who worship the ground he walks on. 

This book is insulting on so many levels. Very real and horrible subjects are shoe-horned in to make the novel feel serious but are handled with the conception of a pre-teen edge lord, the characters are laughably unbelievable, the narrative is pretentious, and eighty percent of the novel is dead weight. It’s hard to justify some plot points when you have characters to sympathize with. But none of these characters were likable, the main character had no goal, no motivations, and no character arc, and the majority of the novel was crammed with trivial plot points that didn’t matter. Why did I read this? I thought, after finishing it. What was the point? Why did Onision write it? What was this novel trying to convey? What was it trying to do? Because it left me stunned, irritable, and unsatisfied. 

At one point I was so frustrated I ripped a page out of the book, crumpled it, threw it in the toilet, pissed on it, and flushed it. I sent an explicit text message to my sister afterward describing this event, only to discover I accidentally texted a high-strung conservative Christian relative of mine. Nothing good comes from this goddamn book. Had I not been reading it for a blog post, I would have DNF’d 20 pages in. 

I didn’t write much about Stones to Abbigale in this post. Part of that is because I finished the novel over a month ago and the details aren’t fresh in my mind. The bigger reason is that I was so inflamed with hatred I gave Stones to Abbigale a separate blog post, which you can read here for a more comprehensive review. 

Score: 0 Stars

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson 

I have a love/hate relationship with fantasy novels. They are so easy to screw up, and my first venture into the fantasy realm left me so scarred I didn’t read another fantasy novel for years. At the same time, I heard a lot of buzz surrounding Sanderson, so I entered the Way of Kings cautiously stoked. 

The novel takes place in a land called Alethkar five years after the assassination of the former king Gavilar by a mysterious people called the Parshendi. Now the two lands are at war across the Shattered Plains and the novel switches between three main narrators, Kaladin, Shallan, and Dalinar. Kaladin is a former surgeon’s apprentice and soldier but is now branded a slave, forced to carry bridges from plateau to plateau for the war effort. Shallan is a young girl whose father died, leaving Shallan and her brothers in immense debt. To combat this debt and prevent the desolation of her family, Shallan seeks to become the ward of Jasnah, the daughter of the late King Gavilar, and the sister of the new king, Elhokar. Shallan plans to rob Jasnah of a mystical object called a soulcaster and use it to generate new wealth for her family. Dalinar is the brother of Gavilar and the advisor of King Elhokar, his nephew. Dalinar is studying the ancient texts referred to as the Way of Kings and is also plagued with visions he doesn’t fully understand. Because of this, many question his power, and Dalinar must watch his back very closely if he is going to unite Alethkar and end the war. 

This book is complicated and long. If that’s not your vibe don’t pick this one up. I have the attention span of a gnat, so when reading long books I have to hit them hard and fast before my attention wanes and I move on to something else. I find this isn’t typically a fault of the novel itself, I have experienced this several times with some of my favorite books. With the Way of Kings, I sometimes read 200 pages in one day, while some days I read nothing. I managed to finish the novel within a month. I found my attention draining in the third quarter of the story. 

The Way of Kings is well flushed out but it takes a long time to get from plot point to plot point. Sometimes the slow pace felt necessary and other times I questioned it. Kaladin’s flashback chapters were interesting but how necessary were they? The interlude chapters partially confused me. Having finished the book, I don’t believe the interlude chapters contributed much outside of Szeth’s chapters, as I believe Szeth will contribute a larger role in the next book. I went back and forth on it, but now I know the pace is adequate, however, if you’re into shorter novels please look elsewhere. 

I liked Shallan and Kaladin’s perspectives more than Dalinar’s. Dalinar’s storyline was interesting and important to the overall story, but compared to the other two narrators it was hard to care much about him. Shallan and Kaladin are more desperate because they aren’t royalty, and much of the story focuses on how little power they have and why they struggle with their inner and outer obstacles. Dalinar’s story pales in comparison. 

I will say this book has the same problem that many fantasy and sci-fi novels have; the world-building is so complicated that it can sometimes get confusing. I’m still not entirely sure I understand who the Heralds were or where Shards came from, which is more my fault than the story’s, but I thought I would mention it so any potential readers know that this is a dense, slow-paced novel. 

That being said, I loved it. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half, the third quarter dragged a bit, but the final act of the novel left my jaw on the floor. The spine of this novel was so cracked that pages were spilling out. I was jumping up from my chair, mouth agape, my mind reeling. I paced my house in between chapters trying to digest what the fuck just happened before diving back in. Trying to explain the ending to the uninitiated is like trying to explain Avengers Endgame to someone who has never seen a Marvel movie. 

I have to take a break from this series because it’s so dense, but I will be returning for the sequel with a vengeance. This book is thoughtful and patient and the final act made all the waiting worth it. My rating would be higher, but I deducted points for the third quarter where my attention was burning away like a candle wick. 

Score: 4.5/5 Stars

It was wild to go from one of the worst shortest books I’ve ever read to the most wild and dense. You should do the same with your library, but maybe don’t overcommit like I did. Have fun!

Rick Stepp (irresponsibleink@gmail.com)

[irresponsibleink]

Reminder that when you break the law, cops come and drag you to jail. When oligarchs and their minions break the law, several lawsuits are filed, while they're left to continue breaking laws.

The mythos of our "checks and balances" is being ripped apart before our eyes. There is no balance. Only meaningless security theater that does not impede their disastrous actions at all.

[irresponsibleink]

These men just stole the personal information of everyone in America AND control the Treasury. Link to article.

Akash Bobba

Edward Coristine

Luke Farritor

Gautier Cole Killian

Gavin Kliger

Ethan Shaotran

Spread their names!

[irresponsibleink]

[irresponsibleink]

"I am trying to write a poem that doesn't scream your name"

- Abhilasha (via @letsbeapoemtogether)