itsawinwin-ren - Tumblr blog

[itsawinwin-ren]

[itsawinwin-ren]

ugly sehun spitting salt water

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Someone on the radio just said “that’s a pretty little lass” only I heard it as…something else and I think I can safely say my mind is officially in the gutter

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I came back to Tumblr just for the KPOP and porn.

Ren/Kenta/JB/Orgy

[itsawinwin-ren]

i need kisses and attention and alcohol

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sometimes a bitch jus want a love letter u know

[itsawinwin-ren]

Why you do dis to me, Yeolie? I cannot life around you, sir. BAE AF definition: PARK CHANYEOL 😍😍😍😖😖😖😂

EDIT: well, looks like my keyboard was drunk in the second to last gif. I put “PSY” instead of “PCY”… Merr. You had one job, keyboard! Just. One. Sigh.

[itsawinwin-ren]

Are you going to your first KPOP concert this year? If so, THIS POST IS FOR YOU!

Your 1st KPOP CONCERT GUIDE, HANDBOOK, & CHECK LIST:

There are a few things you should do in preparation for going to your first KPOP shindig and there are things to do when you get there. Don’t worry if you don’t know. We are here for you!

- Make friends with your local hotel employees and/or acquire adequate amounts of money to bribe them into to telling you if your group is staying there the night of the concert. Planning your stalking moves and strategy carefully is pivotal to your success. Boundaries don’t exist in our KPOP realm.

- Learn fan chants ASAP even if you thought they were annoying and rude previously. You don’t want to be standing there looking like a person trying to sing but they don’t know the lyrics and just looks like a Deer in headlights. That’s a concert foul.

- Invest in a group light stick and as much merch you can put on your overly hormone saturated body. It’s a staple and you’ll want to have the light stick to wave spastically when your bias walks past you or to hit other fans in the head around you that look at your bias too long. 2 seconds is pushing it.

- Soda or water. Bring loads. DON’T GET DEHYDRATED. You will sweat if you’re concert-ing properly. Dance. Jump around. SMILE DAMN YOU. This is the time to act like you feel the Holy Ghost inside your soul during church on Sunday. Go nuts. For all of us that can’t.

- While we’re on that subject, bring snacks. Burgers and fries are best. Stuff your Hello Kitty backpack with as many $1 menu items from McDonald’s that it can handle. You’ll need the greasy energy.

- LEARN YOUR LYRICS. It’s fun to sing and feel like a badass mofo because you can sing in Korean. Understanding them is not required and totally optional.

- Invest in a package of diapers. If you think it’s okay to run to the bathroom for 20 minutes of this Holy Grail concert, you shouldn’t be in our ranks of KPOP fans. Man up. You’re in the big leagues now and this ain’t a game son.

- Posters. Make them. Make them as big and as obnoxious as possible. Throw some Christmas lights on that bitch. Write a marriage proposal. Offer your soul. They thrive off of our delusions if they spot it. Make sure it’s big enough to blind 3 rows of people behind you. Don’t hate the player, hate the game, all of you higher up row people. Should have shelled out for better seats you cheapskates!

- Immediately go buy a professional, super HD camera. Yeah, it’ll run you $5,000 or more for a good one. But what trumps being able to view the concert exclusively through a camera lens so you can have 5 minutes of glory on Tumblr? Pfft. Nothing. Money well spent, my friends.

- Prepare your friends/family/followers on social media for your influx of pictures and video during the concert. Don’t be that guy that bleeds fangirl all over everyone’s feed that hate KPOP to begin with. Don’t forget to hashtag the shit out of your stream. Example: #IShouldBeWatchingThisAmazingConcertButI'mPostingTheseBlurryAssPicturesInsteadBecauseIJustCan'tHelpMyself

- Write down your social security number, address, phone number to an emergency contact in sharpie on your arm. This will help speed things along for security when you either pass out or die from oppar.

- I suggest bringing a blowup mattress or FanMat (For all of the fans out there that just can’t even! Only $19.95 w/ shipping and handling! Call today!) just in case the previous rule applies to you. Head injuries and brain damage from hitting concrete is no buneo, but at least you’d get oppar’s attention when the paramedics come to retrieve you from the stadium.

- Tissues: for tears, drool, and other bodily excretions. I’ll let you figure out what you’ll need it for.

- A gps tracking device for your ovaries. Trust us. Those babies will be gone at some point during oppar sexy shenanigans.

- Learn some key, iconic KPOP dance moves from your group you’re seeing. Who knows? You might start a dance flash mob and oppar will be impressed.

- (a) Bring a rational, unbiased friend with you or (b) A set of FBI grade handcuffs. This is to handcuff yourself to anything that’s bolted to the ground. Why? It will hopefully prevent you from finally snapping, punching the security guard, running on stage, and tackling oppar. Friends don’t let friends go to jail and get a lawsuit filed against them. BUT, best friends help you tackle security guards and drives the getaway car.

- Bring a sleeping bag if you bought a ticket to be in the floor/pit area where its first come first serve for the best front of the stage positions. You’ll need to spend the night outside in line so you can get in first. Alternatively, invest in some nifty brass knuckles or chloroform to knock out any fans that are in your way to get to those coveted standing areas. It’s NOT our fault they didn’t know who’s spot they are standing in rudely, am I right? Of course I’m right.

- A spray bottle full of water or liquid of your choosing so you can spray any fans around you that are acting bored and uninterested. Fangirls need training and reprimands, like puppies, too. It’s our duty to make sure our fandom thrives. Boredom is NOT an option.

- ***The most important thing to remember: (All joking aside) HAVE. FUN. BE GRATEFUL. ENJOY YOURSELF. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. This may be the only KPOP concert you’ll ever get to go to. They may never come around again. Your fangirl-ness may fade with time. Your group may disband/retire. Life is short. You’ll remember this the rest of your life. Especially if you’re an international fan. We spend an unhealthy amount of time watching our babies on a small screen and you’ll be there seeing them IN PERSON. 1080p? Pfft. More like: A BILLIONp.**

Did you find this useful? Share it. Have anything to add? Tell me. This will be a forever open list and can always be added to in the future. Now, go forth my child. Have fun, stay safe, and good luck!

***DISCLAIMER: Please don’t take this seriously. It’s meant to be satire and for entertainment purposes only. I DO NOT encourage you to do anything that would be illegal or that could hurt you or anyone else. It’s for the lulz. Nothing more. Thank you ^^***

[itsawinwin-ren]

“Promise 2011″ | EXO FAN FICTION (semi-AU) | Ch. 3: ‘Some Harm, All Foul’

“Good freaking luck!? You crazy, batshit, insane, mental asylum PSA, Looney Tunes, lost marbled, wizard, psychic, witch, hag, ahjumma woman! I swear to God.” I can't even think about anything else but getting to my dongseangs… IF they are even here. I'm not even sure I'm in Korea at this point, or if I'm sitting in a nut house somewhere hallucinating all of this. I start to read down the page as I cross the street, and I stop suddenly being honked at by a taxi that almost slams into me. “YAH! I'm walking here!” I scream in irritated Korean. I begin to jog my way across the rest of the street. I crumble the “rules” paper and envelope up and throw it in my purse for now. I’m obviously and thankfully still the 2018 version of myself, as I remember Korean, which I didn't know in 2011. Helpful. I glance in a store to see my reflection as I'm rationalizing. Well, I still look my current, I mean, my future age? … 25 not 18 or 19. Great. I also remember the last 7 years, or… the next 7 years into the future from my current position in the timeline? My head hurts from this time travel and alcohol hangover. I'm thinking too hard. I’m NOT Martha McFly goddamn it all! I see the store I tried to buy the aspirin in; I know I'm getting closer to the alley I woke up in. I take a quick glance at the magazines on the street vendor shelves and I'm remembering things from this time in my life. Things I haven't thought about in a long time. This is SO surreal. My eyes light up as I see the old man that was trying to aggressively get me out of his alleyway earlier, sweeping the front of his store. I dodge out of sight, I don't want him to yell at me again. No, thank you. I wait until he's not looking and I dive back into the alley. I look around where I woke up trying to find my friends. On one hand, I don't want them here. It's dangerous and crazy. But on the other hand, I'm hoping I don't have to do this alone. Plus, I don't know if what I do here could make it to where I don't even meet them in the future at all. My head is throbbing from all of this thinking and inner monologue. “Meg?! Natalie!?" I yell walking further down the long alley, my shoes tapping the broken pavement; echoing off the walls. “Lexie?! Are you here!?" I'm beginning to panic the longer I go without finding them. What if they are here, but they got “dropped off” somewhere else?! There's a whole world they could be in! I start to feel a panic attack coming on and I have to stop to slow my breathing. I rest my forehead on ad brick wall closing my eyes. “Unnie?” I hear the most beautiful voice I've ever heard coming from the other end of a dumpster a few feet away. “Lexie! Holy hell! Are you okay?!” I run over to her and drop down on my knees. She's sitting upright against the wall. I pull off my thin jacket and put it around her shoulders, then I wrap her in my arms. She hugs me and chuckles. “Unnie, I've never drank, but is this what a hangover feels like?” “Oh baby, probably…” I laugh with a few tears in my eyes. “What happened? Why are we outside?” “I… you don't remember anything?” She shakes her head. Oh boy. “Okay, well-“ “UNNIE! LEXIE!” I snap my head down to the opposite end of the alley from where I woke up, and my tears double down my face when I see Natalie and Meg coming our way. “Baby, are you OK?” I quickly ask Lexie, who's still sitting on the ground in my arms. “I think so, unnie.” “Okay, I'll be right back! Just… Don't… Move… Okay?! K…” I smile at her standing up. I turn back to the direction of my other dongseangs and begin to run to them. Meg seems to be holding Nat up with her arm around her waist, and Nat’s limping. I immediately feel guilt. I did this to them. Me and my stupid, pathetic love for a man that doesn't even know of my existence! If I do meet you Park Chanyeol, I'm probably going to sucker punch you. Hard. “Holy crap, I'm so glad you guys are OK!” I pant flinging my arms around both of them. We hug each other tightly. “What happened?” I motion down to Nat’s foot she's elevating and I get on the other side of her, assisting Meg with the transport. We start to move slowly back to Lexie who is standing up, dusting herself off. “We're not sure. We both woke up over there behind that building… back there.” I look behind us at the back of the building where the 4 buildings’ converging back alleys are. One of the buildings has a gate and barbed wire surrounding it. Well, that's not seedy at all. Nope. “Well, she could have dropped us off somewhere less shady…” I whisper under my breath. I'm not sure they realize yet what really happened here. I want to break it to them gently, even though, I don't quite yet understand or accept this situation entirely myself. We meet Lexie halfway and she joins in with another family group hug. “Nat, are you OK? Meg?” “Yeah, we're OK, Lex Mex. I'm not sure how I sprained my ankle. Did we help you finish your bottle of whiskey last night and pass out back here? This feels like a massive hangover or something.” Nat laughs a bit. I bite my lip in response. Not even close. “Yeah, I feel like I got hit by a bus.” “I'm not sure. I don't think so.” I reply nervously kicking some rocks with my red Converse. “And not a bus, Meg. A giant clock maybe…” I have poker face as I trail off and I try to not bust out laughing. What? If I can't joke in this situation, what else can do?! Cry? Scream? Pray? Ball up and refuse to life? No. Not my style. “I don't like this at all.” I squeeze Lexie's hand to reassure her. “Unnie what? A giant cloc- wait, where's my phone?” Meg pats herself down and looks around frantically. We join in looking along the alley heading back to where they woke up. I decide to wait a bit to tell them what I think is going on. I know they'll try to throw me into a psych ward or rehab when I tell them. They'll have to come to my conclusion on their own… hopefully they'll accept this reality so we can move on faster to find a solution. We get to the middle of the back of the 4 buildings and after 5 minutes of looking, I spot her phone on the ground in some tall grass next to the fence with surrounding barbed wire. “Oh, Meg, I see it, hang on. I'll get it.” I unlatch my arm from around Nat and Lexie and trot over to where I saw the phone. Every second I'm outside, I'm getting more and more cold. My lips are trembling uncontrollably. I’m not really paying attention as I lean down to pick up her dead phone. Bam! I suddenly fall backwards, throwing Meg's phone, when some sort of ball hits the chainlink fence right near my face. I'm about to unleash hell on whoever threw that at me, which I now see is a soccer ball that's rolling to a stop on the pavement over the fence. My head throbs in response to the sudden stimuli. “Yah! Chincha?! Can't you see I'm on an important cell phone recovery mission?!” I say to anyone who’s listening on the other side of the fence as I stand up furiously dusting off my behind and black skinny jeans. “Oh! I'm so sorry. So sorry!” A voice says in Korean from over the fence. I glance over at him and he's bowing profusely; he's got his hoodie over his head concealing his features. “Yeah, you better be.” I mumble. 2 more guys run over to him and begin to bow and apologize too. “It's fine, really. It just scared me. No harm, no foul, guys.” I say in Korean, as I'm picking up Meg's phone again. I figure I'll need to speak Korean from now on. At least to the people here from this time. “We were just playing some soccer on break! We're sorry again, noona.” Noona? Well, thanks for assuming I'm older than you, you little brats. “Really…” My teeth are chattering, “it's okay.” I finally look up and my breath catches midway up my lungs making me cough and choke a bit. After composing myself, I squint at them. This isn't happening. “Aren't you cold? Don't you have a winter jacket? You're already getting sick!” The tall, lanky one says throwing the ball up in the air over and over. “Uh, yeah. I just, um… got into town. I wasn't expecting South Korean winter weather to be perfectly honest. Do I know you?” Fortunately and unfortunately, I know exactly who they are. “Probably not!” The smallest of the 3 says to me. “I'm Baekhyun, this is Kris hyung…” He motions towards the tallest, “and he's Chanyeol. What's your name?” “I… uh… I… Ren, Ren Baek. Baek Ren. Baek Seoyeon. Laur- Ren. I'm Ren.” I can't even get out my freaking name in this tornado of a scene. But, on the bright side, they now know my name and that I exist. Progress! I TAKE IT WHERE I CAN GET IT, PEOPLE. Touché gypsy ahjumma. Touché. I look back at my dongseangs still standing at the entrance to the alley talking amongst themselves and then back to the 3 SM rookies behind the fence. I literally have no idea what to do at this point. These are definitely not the seasoned, egotistical, untouchable EXO men I've been following for 6+ years. The same ones that looked right through us less than 24 hours ago. “Ren Baek? You're not from here, are you?” Baekhyun grins. “That’s the understatement of the century...” I chuckle nervously running my hands through my long red hair. They blankly stare at me blinking their eyes. I'm normally full of words, but I got nothing. I feel like I'm in a dream or on LSD. When I imagined the day I would meet Chanyeol and EXO, I can tell you… It wasn't like this. STAY ON SCRIPT, EXO. WHY. “Lauren Ashley! Come on!” I look back at Meg calling me irritated. They won't believe this. “Who is it, unnie?” Lexie yells across the courtyard. “What?!” I quickly spin around plastering my outstretched arms, back, and legs against the fence, to prevent them from seeing who I've “randomly” met, causing it to shake violently behind me. They aren't ready. I'm not even ready. “Just some amateur soccer player enthusiasts! I'll be there in a second!” She nods turning back to the group. I slowly turn back around still trying to conceal them. “Lauren?” “Ashley?” The boys say amongst themselves. Thanks, Meg. Kris links his fingers into the fence holes looking at me smirking and stepping closer. “Mmm yeah, that's m-my full name. Everyone calls me Ren though. She calls me that when she's irritated.”   I laugh a bit as I look down at my feet and I shiver slightly. “I think I like Lauren better.” The young Chanyeol beams. “Me too. It's exotic.” Baekhyun and Kris nod. Exotic. K… we’ll go with that. “Come on! It's time for dance!” The 3 boys and I look behind them at the double doors, now held open by another young, future EXO member. Well, hello, long haired, crazy cute Suho, leader nim. We're in so much trouble. “Ne, hyung! Nice to meet you, noona!” “Sorry for the ball.” Baekhyun and Chanyeol wave running off towards Suho. I wave at Suho and smile, but he doesn't acknowledge me. Stranger danger alert mode much, Suho? Smart. Keep those sasaengs from well… Sasaeing. You can never be too careful. Noona mode: activated. I shrug and as I'm about to tell Kris to go and not get in trouble, my vision goes dark as something lands on my head. I hear the young Wu Yifan laugh as I pull it off my face slowly, pursing my lips somewhat irritated. I don't like surprises. “Stay warm!” The barely adult Kris runs off yelling back at me in English with a smile that makes me blush. “T-thank you!” I yell back at him before he disappears behind the double doors. It's quiet again with the exception of my friends chatting about 30 ft. away and the obnoxious morning birds hovering around. Get lost. This is no time to serenade me. Do I look like I need to be serenaded by a flock of birds right now?! No. I look down and I bring the hoodie up over my head, then smooth it out. He gave me his hoodie. Of course he did. I sigh biting my lip and prepare to rejoin my unsuspecting dongseangs. “Here's your phone, babe.” “Oh, thanks unnie. Who were those kids? Did he give you a hoodie?” She looks confused and curious. “Uh, I don't know and yes. He said I looked cold. Hey, let's go find an ER to get your ankle sorted out Nat, yeah?” I change the subject quickly looking towards Natalie and she really does need to get it checked out. “It's not THAT bad, but yeah, OK. Let's go. I don't want to miss our flights.” Nat says. I have a feeling we’ll be waiting for those flights for a long time. I return to Nat’s side assisting Meg in helping her to walk once more, and I grab Lexie's hand again. “Seriously though, what happened last night?” Meg chimes in halfway down the street. I'm waiting impatiently for them to get a crash course in our situation at any moment, like what happened to me earlier. I'm struggling to find an opening to tell them. Who knows? I might have just finally snapped and I'm hallucinating all of this. That would be preferable to this. “Oh look, I think that's a walk-in clinic across the street.” I say pointing. It's in Hangul and English. “Why is everything in Korean?” Lexie questions looking around as we walk the crosswalk. “Little Korea?” Nat answers. “I read about this area in my inflight magazine on the way here.” I huff in relief. Sure, we’ll go with that for now. We reach the clinic and I open the door for everyone. A tall Korean woman is standing behind the desk. “Hello.” I say bowing. The others join in my greeting. “I'll get you checked in, Nat.” “Thanks, unnie.” I walk to the counter and tell her what we need to be seen for. She hands me a clipboard to fill out. Great. Hangul it is, even though I'm rusty. I sit down next to Nat and instead of handing her the clipboard, I offer to fill it out for her. Thankfully, she agrees. I fill out what I can and ask her when I don't know the answers to certain questions. “Okay. I think that's it. Sign and date here.” I hold the clipboard as she signs. I smile at her getting up and as I approach the woman, I stealthily scratch out March 19, 2018 and write March 19th, 2011. I have got to tell them. Soon. After a few minutes, a nurse calls Natalie back to get examined. “You guys can wait here if you want. I'll go with her.” I help Nat sit down in a wheelchair the nurse brings over. Meg and Lex nod in approval. Nat and I sit in the exam room waiting for the doctor. I'm praying he speaks English. It's not like we can't understand, but I just don't want Nat to get suspicious when they start rip roaring in Korean. We're supposed to be in Los Angeles. “You OK, unnie?” Nat questions softly. “Yeah, I'm OK I think. I'm more worried about you though, you clutz.” I joke. She scrunches her eyebrows with a thoughtful expression, not the giggle I anticipated. “Wait, I remember we were in the hotel and… ET Korea was on. Didn't Chan and Dara get engaged? You were devastated. After that, it's all hazy.” I cringe inside at the thought of the impending engagement, but I hope the fog will clear. Fast. After a few knocks on the door, a doctor comes into the room. He begins his exam in Korean, but we talk to him in English. I'm beyond relieved when he picks up our queue and responses in broken, but decipherable, English. “Okay, we do an X-RAY now. Be back soon.” We bow and thank him. A few minutes later, a nurse comes in to wheel her off to X-RAY. I’m alone now. Just me and my thoughts. I decide to pull out the “rules” letter again. I better get aquatinted with this before I attempt an explanation to them. God help me. “Rules of Time Travel:” I sigh and roll my eyes. 1) DO NOT try to contact your “past” self or try to meet them. Stay far away from your doppelgänger. The consequences could be disastrous. You could consequently end up not existing at all, past or future. Just because you're here, it doesn't mean your past self disappears. I nod my head thinking this makes sense. I'm just about to read the 2nd rule when the door swings open violently. I jump. “Unnie. We need to talk. Now.” Meg and Lexie are standing there looking half panicked and half angry. I must have a horrified look on my face, because I have a pretty good idea what's coming next. “Show her, Lexie.” “Why does my phone say we're in Seoul, SK?” Lexie pipes up holding her phone in front of my face. She must have found her charger. I let out a breath I'd subconsciously been holding in. “Unnie, did you drug us and fly us over here in the middle of the night?! Just to try and stop this engagement or something crazy?! You know we'd never agree to this otherwise!” Meg stomps further into the room with her tirade. Oh. I’m dying laughing on the inside.

[itsawinwin-ren]

[itsawinwin-ren]

IMPORTANT QUESTION TO ALL KPOP FANS

I have an important question to all of my KPOP family out there:

I would like to hear your story of how KPOP/Korean culture has either saved your life, kept you from making bad decisions, helped you through hard times, and anything of the like. Did your friends you made through KPOP on here help you in your time in need? Helped you deal with rough stuff? Have you made lifelong friends? A family? When and how did KPOP become a life saver for you? Minor or major.

In light of my inconceivable loss I’ve experienced and all of the extremely hard times in my past, I realized that KPOP and everything that comes along with that has saved my life more times than I can count, amongst other life hardships it’s helped me through. The friends I’ve made through KPOP have also been my light in the dark.

I want to make a sort of tribute/mini documentary on how KPOP and everything with it has changed lives around the world. Please, share you stories. REBLOG WITH YOUR SUBMISSION

If you would like to remain anonymous when I read your story and don’t want people to see it, please private message/post me. Thank you, guys. For being my family. You guys are my world, and Chanyeol + my harem just live in it. ^^

[itsawinwin-ren]

Exactly

[itsawinwin-ren]

some exo tweets

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Everyone, this is not a drill. Tomorrow is EXO's comeback stage for Lotto and Sehun is blonde. Prepare thyselves and your sanity... if you have any left.

[itsawinwin-ren]

@wuboxian I agree with Tumblr XD

[itsawinwin-ren]

Back then he was a captain, he led his team to victory. Now he’s kkakdugi and barely survived

[itsawinwin-ren]

blackpink (ot4) - whistle behind the scenes