itwouldbenicetohaveaname

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

When some people at work are having the same behavior towards you as others did in the past and you realise you're probably the problem but can't find the solution to the enigma.

Why does my cousin never talk to me and ignore me to the point of laughing at his own thought jokes while I'm leading the meal conversation? It's been years since he initiated conversation with me. It's been a year since I havent tried to initiate a conversation with him and he doesn't care.

Why do people sigh when I enquire about their health after they have publicly declared they were sick?

Why does my inability to know if someone with a dead serious face on, is serious or joking make me fall so low on the respect scale?

When you're a girl, if you joke about certain things, you will get harass about it. I've learnt the hard way to never say something I do not mean. I've learnt the hard way women can't joke like men do. I'm being punished for adapting to sexism basically.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

the feeling when you just wanna be alone and push everyone away so you could quietly kill yourself vrs the feeling of never wanting to be alone and just wanting to be held and told itll be okay even when it wont.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

People need to stop equaling ASPD with "can and will do evil". People with empathy commit atrocious acts every day. In fact they commit the huge majority of them.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

I wonder how many non-binary people are in the closet considering how widely spread passive enbyphobia is.

I would say transwomen and transmen are way more at risk of being violently assassinated by extremist transphobes, while some of the population is educated about them and respect their identity. Meanwhile I don't think an extremist transphobe would murder an non-binary person (maybe if they are xenogender idk), but the majority of the population sure think non-binary pronouns and identity aren't real.

I'm not competiting those two together I'm just noting that the non-binary are exposed to socially wide spread passive phobia while transphobes lit all their triggers when trans people switch binary sides. There is something so telling on those bigots in this, smells like Deeply Rooted misogyny TM for real.

I just wonder how many enby people are in the closet presenting cis adjacent most days.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

I need to say it somewhere. I am not a girl. Wearing nail polish gives me dysmorphia. I'm glad I can't see my earrings when I wear some. I gain some satisfaction out of wearing those things cause for once I'm doing the girl thing correctly, or less wrong. But that's it. I don't like nail polish, except for one color, that everyone in my life has said was ugly. Anyway. Thank God I don't have body dysmorphia but that's cause I just don't care what appearance I have. I would not care about a man body either. I'm just pissed about it today so, I'm gonna say it here, like painting deep into sinuous caves, there even if no one's eyes graze them for millenia.

I'm non-binary.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

why is deciding what to eat so exhausting. I JUST figured that out several hours ago and now I have to do it again?? why can’t I be like a gila monster and eat a large meal and be good for a few months

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

TW: suicide, systemic transphobia

Finding out the trans identity of someone from your parents' generation after their suicide makes the grieving so much worse.

Because you know it could have been avoided. They could have transitioned, been their true self, been happy. If only they had been born one generation later.

But transphobia and dysmorphia killed them instead.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

It's been several days with a deadline looming on the horizon and nothing else to pass the time. It's been several days of severe procrastination. I've been binging my phone like no tomorrow with little need to sleep. What I'm trying to say is, at one point, during the last three days, I woke up and was surprised when I didn't find the injuries I had just dreamt about. What do you mean I don't have opened wounds on my legs anymore? I probably should be concerned.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

Anyone else want to wear nail polish cause pretty but wish it wouldn't make their hands seem so feminine? (I'm Afab). I just wish everyone wore it in society so it wouldn't give this effect.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

My mom just shared that at 22, her partner, had told her he couldn't touch doorknobs, "I didn't listen at all to those stories. I was only 22, I had no idea about OCD"

I knew what OCD was by 7. I learned more accurately about this disorder (and manifold more) through social media and Google years later (I know those sources are not equivalent to professional ones don't need to tell me)

What I'm saying is, gen-z has made leaps of progress happen for mental health education. We are way more educated about mental health than our parents.

It is bittersweet cause it creates a gap between generations. How are you supposed to talk about self-harm when your parents think it is only a thing suicidal people do? Educating about such topics is particularly exhausting cause they don't really believe you. Anyway.

Congrats gen-z

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

A friend of mine confided recently that he was diagnosed with NPD. I have a question, which would be buried under "How to deal with a Narcistic" and the general demonisation. How do you not harm someone with NPD? How do you interact in a way that doesn't worsen their disorder? Are there things I should or shouldn't do? Is it okay to "feed their ego," and by that, I mean giving them compliments or admiration? Should I refrain from doing that? Any tips or indications from pwNPDs or informed people are welcome. Cause this shit is nowhere on Google.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

I have to say putting my hand under icy water feels like cheating when I need to calm my emotions. It's like a switch. I don't know if it counts as self-harm (it probably does), well I don't care as long as I don't bleed.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

Having been neglected or abused is like a coin.

On one hand you're proud of having survived such pain, such loneliness. You can tell yourself "I went through worse". You can even tell yourself you're strong because of it.

On the other hand you are so fragile, deprived of the armor love and lack of hurt normally craft on someone.

What you have are cracks, and you think having survived being damaged makes you strong. And then you realize the truth.

[itwouldbenicetohaveaname]

TW: mention of sexual assault

Having a dream where you're sexually assaulted is not the worst. The worst is dreaming the aftermath. I fought back during the dream. I hurt him, I got away, I yelled at him and spit at his feet. But I still dreamt the aftermath, and all the thought were there. In my dream, I was ashamed, I was terrified of not being believed. I wanted to tell my boyfriend, but I was afraid of his opinion and felt guilty cause I had sex with someone else. I fucking hate this. Because now I know that even if you fight back, you still feel guilty, dirty, ashamed, and afraid.