ivebeengoingthroughsomething

[ivebeengoingthroughsomething]

I want to hear people’s interpretation of this, but for context, when my father found out that I was sexually assaulted, his first instinct was to tell me that I was exaggerating, making it up. His compassion wasn’t with me, his eldest daughter. It was with my attacker, a man whose name he didn’t even know. He knew no details of the attack itself. He didn’t need to. He’d already decided whose side he was on.

I later found out their bond ran much deeper. The immutable connection of two strangers who share the darkest of humanity between them. What my father did to my mother, this man did to me. How could he choose me over that?

Protect a strange in arms

Forsake your daughter by blood

What you did is what you are

Let’s not mistake it for love

[ivebeengoingthroughsomething]

Protect a strange in arms

Forsake your daughter by blood

What you did is what you are

Let’s not mistake it for love

[ivebeengoingthroughsomething]

“I felt like the night sky, clouded over and empty of stars.”

[ivebeengoingthroughsomething]

This is an almost first draft of ‘I’ve Been Going Through Something.’ I looked at this page and saw what it could become.

The actual book is about 50 pages, but this page is what prompted me to put it all together.

Articulating my emotions has always been a challenge for me. So I rely on others- poets, songwriters- to do it for me. They pour their souls into their work, almost like they’re cultivating and tending a garden. I walk through it, plucking the prettiest flowers and keeping them for myself.

With the exception of the first and final quotes, everything here is from a female artist. We can be so poetic with our suffering, can’t we?

I’ve Been Going Through Something will be posted in full in 2024