ivynightshade - Tumblr blog

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘my body is a slaughterhouse’.

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, ‘being unwanted is a language’ from moony moonless sky.

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘we were put on this earth desperate, hungry and willing.’

[text id: in a sharp set of knives, i looked for a hand to hold. / i could not stop myself from needing to belong somewhere, even if that somewhere was a burial ground.]

[ivynightshade]

how i would beg, medusa, for her to look at me, and midas, for his golden clutch / all of this would ruin me / but at least i would be seen and touched.

fatima aamer bilal, from moony moonless sky’s ‘how can i escape my mind?’

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i mother it, the absence of her ii. i was hard to bear from the very start.’

[text id: my sadness is a fire that i built to keep my hands warm on lonely nights. // art by sivan roshianu // i keep my misery bared between my teeth. i refuse to let her leave. / i am nothing without this obsession of mine.]

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.

[text id: my bones whimper at the thought of what could have been. / what could have been if i was not born in a grave?]

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i mother it, the absence of her ii. i was hard to bear from the very start.’

[ivynightshade]

i am the menace in my head.

“april blues won’t starve to rest.

what is it about the month of your bloom, wilting you to your last breath?”

for,

my other self.

[ivynightshade]

on april

barbara kingsolver demon copperhead \\ sara teasdale a november night \\ fatima aamer bilal i mother it, the absence of her ii. i was hard to bear from the very start (via @ivynightshade) \\ anne carson the glass essay (via @petaltexturedskies) \\ raymond p. fischer an aged man remembers april \\ cyrus cassells \\ anton chekhov love \\ t.s eliot the waste land \\ michelle o'sullivan the flower and the frozen sea: "bespoke"

kofi

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s all the blood in my mouth screams devastatingly desperate, miserable girl.

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, from i mother it the absence of her, iii. i am not a person that can be loved for a very long time excerpt from moony moonless sky.

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from i mother it, the absence of her ii. i was hard to bear from the very start.

[text id: april regrets me like a parent does a child. i stand for everything it does not. i have maimed it with sadness. april did give birth to me under a fruity tree, but i was born with chainsaw hands.]

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.

[ivynightshade]

WANTING IS A FILTHY THING. BUT I LEARNED GREED BEFOFE I LEARNED SHAME.

red doc - anne carson , first love / late spring - mitski , starvation - maya angelou , let dead dogs lay - silas denver melvin (@sweatermuppet), wishbone - richard siken, a self portrait against red wallpaper - richard siken, truisms - jenny holzer, stop telling me i should’ve died too - tumblr user @tankgotstuckinthecircusgate, many hands - lingua ignota, hungry thread of nerves - fatima aamer bilal

support me on kofi <3

[ivynightshade]

how can i love myself when i’m so draining to everyone else? from peach prc in heavy

fatima aamer bilal, from even flesh eaters don't want me. | taylor swift in peace | lorde in liability | chappell roan in casual | lizzy mcalpine in full machine | josé olivarez, from citizen illegal

[ivynightshade]

Bilal Al-Shams, Sacrifice

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am tired of making a religion out of my suffering’.

[text id: i am too little, and too much, and never enough.]