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[j-odettepoetry]

I don’t think I told you

It’s the taste of a memory The feeling of the sun on my  Black work shirt Coming through the window The ease of you That I miss

It’s not the “I love you” The kiss on my porch In the murky night  Gravel steps on my bare feet And the neighbors watching Not the show  That I miss 

It’s the dice hanging  From your car mirror The blueberry muffin mornings The laughing in the night No long notes No expensive gifts

It’s the quiet The dropping popcorn And brushing it off your jeans As you held me On my broken velvet couch Watching tv  Or pretending to

I don’t think I told you I’ll never forget 

[j-odettepoetry]

Vacationland

I slammed my head  on the shower tiles ‘Cause your three hours away  But a million miles Oh Maine I left the beach lonely It died out of sight It’s a year since I glowed Through the Portland light Oh Maine 

My snowflake spattered middle lane

Had nightmares of drowning  in mud where we met  So I crawled to the shore Got his old t shirt wet  Oh Maine Left my parents to grieve  While I sowed my wild oats Now I’ll do it again among Seagulls and boats  Oh Maine 

Hold me inside your fog and rain

You’re a myth I believed As a storybook child And you reached for my face  Your hands lovely and mild  Oh Maine You’re someone’s Vacationland Another ones pride  Your my deep quiet heart Still beating inside Oh Maine 

It’s never the same, my Maine

[j-odettepoetry]

The writings of a questioning romantic

I’d like to think I never loved him Quizzical eyes glaring over The patient screen of a laptop 11:30 at night studying In a room that smelled  Like too-ripe apples And sounded  Like a nightclub 

It’s good to know she never liked me Speaking through letters  Black against white  Bright enough to induce tears  As she drove to Rhode Island In a car I only hope Wasn’t silver like his And covered in stickers 

I’d like to hope I love myself Just a little is enough To walk a starlit beach With rocks like the Portland skyline And know I’m worth The love I could have received With every step on the rocky shore Heavy like promises

That I forgot to make

[j-odettepoetry]

For Sophia

Pretty nightingale  I never got to know Sweetness and then cold Like this lingering April snow I hope it’s lovely Finding the one you need I hope when you do You never think of me

You were the fisherwoman I your catch and release And wasn’t that nice The river and the trees I hope you enjoy that concert You said was in May I hope it speaks to feelings That have yet to come your way

Quiet caring princess We were short and still You never knew the flowers I put on my windowsill I hope if I ran into you You’d smile then walk away And that you’d not remember it At the end of your day

[j-odettepoetry]

No reason for the end

As a child I looked forward To the end of the world I awaited the raining fire  The blanketing dark  Like awaiting my own birthday

No one knows when it will come  A gravel faced woman  Whispered from the church pews  But it’s coming Soon as the next full moon

As a teen I wandered the edges “A flower in a field of weeds” My father said  The only lightbulb  In a dull and damp warehouse

But how could I be a light When everyone I saw Passing through shops  Through violet tinted school rooms Glowed brighter with life than I did 

As a student I studied The friends and neighbors  Who lived around and ahead of me In rooms stacked atop each other Like cookies in a jar

And taking notes  On the crumpled paper of my mind  I found the world had much more reason To live on, enough brightness To out-glow the sun

[j-odettepoetry]

Footnotes

The morning shines out like newly brushed teeth (footnote 1) Coats life with a sweetness, like chocolate dip (footnote 2) Weaves lovely things together like a marigold wreath (footnote 3) Each blessing gathered in a tea bag ready to sip (footnote 4)

Braided hair and afternoons like romantic plays (footnote 5) Sunlight in the trees and springtime in the air (footnote 6) And I can feel the firey warmth of those amber rays (footnote 7) A light so full of sugar warmth I wish I could share (footnote 8)

Love persists like evening wine the flavor goes on (footnote 9) The warmest blanket placed atop of shoulders that shake (footnote 10) Running through the woods like a spot backed fawn (footnote 11) But like a vase atop a table, liable to break (Footnote 12)

1. Some mornings are dull and the fog steals the shine 2. Some mornings so bitter I’m reminded of you 3. The wreath may be woven with barbed wire and twine 4. Tea made with promises, broken and blue

5. Though all the romantics seem to die in time  6. Though the trees are all black and the sun is away 7. And It’s been a year since I’ve felt the shine 8. But without the sun I’d still share with someone who’d stay

9. Even when it’s over the ending will remain 10. Sometimes not even softness stops the shaking inside 11. But despite this running back and forth I’ll catch love again 12. I can glue it back together, breaking doesn’t mean it’s died

[j-odettepoetry]

These moods of mine

You ask me where they come from These rotten moods of mine I say they grow like branches But they tangle up like twine

It’s growing pains I argue Though I’m twenty now it’s true And haven’t grown an inch Since I grew just as tall as you

But still I ache from stiffness Of the muscles, and the brain I’d stretch them out but I’m afraid That’s too much to obtain

So let me mope on hardwood floors Above the bulb is dead It’s just being alive I think  That’s gotten to my head

[j-odettepoetry]

Utah Pelicans

Summer With air too dry for breath The wind coughing up dust  Landlocked in Northern Utah Within a suburban jail cell An aviary

Tucked cozy  Behind a swimming pool And a tennis court Wrapped in purple walls The sounds of geese Honking from inside

A New England girl  Betrayed by the sun Encased by the land And missing the Scarborough marshes Found between gardens The pelicans 

Dead fish Plopping into their  Sock-like mouths  Slipping through their throats The woman feeding them  Smiling like a lunatic

Nature Stuffed within the cracks  Seabirds aside the car horns And restaurant chains  And concrete  In that moment, home

[j-odettepoetry]

Burnout Blues

Bloody feet on rough stone floor There’s never sound here anymore It’s void of color, beige and gray And sometimes black from day to day

The smell of murk, and sight of dust No chemicals take out the rust  No mothers kiss takes out the gloom Just these four walls, this closed off room

She’s got the burnout blues they say The kind nothing can take away That fever eats up all your hours Leaves you to wilt like week old flowers

So I’ll sit in this bedroom cell I’ll count the days I’ve felt like hell Wait through each stale and stinking day For burnout blues to go away

[j-odettepoetry]

We fell in love over a chocolate cake

We fell in love over a chocolate cake Scalding liquid indulgence Flowing like lava from a volcano Our spoons clinked together and sunk in Sitting across from one another

We fell in love at a table for two Whose wooden legs were sturdy and still Holding up a plate of dripping tension As my feet, strapped into too high heels Played with yours, in flat soles 

We fell in love behind a blanket of jazz Closely held together under ambiance  Which twinkled like stars above our heads And bit into us with gentle teeth As we bit into our chocolate cake

Over which we fell in love

[j-odettepoetry]

In shades of green

I painted my childhood in shades of green Like lime popsicle staining my  Almost white teeth And my bubblegum tongue 

I took my roller skates  And flew through rows and rows Of trees that bent to say hello With their leaves like stained glass

And life was a playground With forest colored leather swing seats And winding slides And grass stains on my light wash jeans

Mint chocolate chip ice cream With whipped cream and sprinkles That was life  When I was a kid

[j-odettepoetry]

university money

I remember Maine A seaside wonderland Where I skipped between campus And ethereal night beaches Before the money ran out Before the stone eyes of a lost love Before the dreams I’d had eroded Like the rocks on the shore

I remember school Like sitting beside a sleeping grizzly A professor and an essay And a doomed romance Lurking through the foggy morning And behind bookshelves But the life it promised ahead of me Stood in the clear, smiling

I remember dreams Standing behind an invisible barrier  Like an actor in a play And I in the audience watch it Dance in front of me And if I could only gather the funds I’d clamber to the stage And join it

If I made it big time Found luck like a newly made friend Won a game of poker Or a game on tv Or if cash came in like snowfall And piled in my front yard I’d only take a little And I’d return to school

[j-odettepoetry]

Willow- a poem for my rabbit

Like a little child  She doesn’t know the world Or the reasons I do  And like a burst of clear morning  I almost forget  When I run my fingers through her silky fur Sweet as summer grass

And like a toddlers tricycle  She moves from place to place Happy just to live  She’s found a hollow with food, love And enough deep corners  That she’ll never have a lack Of things to explore

And once when the air  In flashes like the slashing Of a pocket knife  Was forcing itself back and forth  Through my lungs  When panic hit like falling hail She sat on my lap and calmed me

Like a willow tree She can wave in the wind Her fur can shed like leaves  And mess up the rug But still she sits  Looking to me with quiet eyes As a beacon of calmness

[j-odettepoetry]

A guide to glory

I was told As a please my parents  Never up past my bedtime Kinda kid That glory was something  To be given

Glory was applause Was a victory lap in front Of a screaming crowd of Excited onlookers Glory was a piece Of the universe’s praise

I’ve heard glory  Was a thing to be taken “Give me glory” the tyrant says Like a bloody Shakespearean king Like climbing over enemies And friends alike

And some have said  That glory Was only to be rejected A figment of the collective  Imagination of millions Who thought they could own the world

But I have come to know That glory can be found In a sunny afternoon Or the smell of an old book Or even tucked away In the corners of a healing heart 

I’ve come to know glory As a visiting friend

[j-odettepoetry]

Talks with a memory

A year or so ago  As his hand traced the back of mine An old acquaintance said That he liked the top  of the parking garage Simply for the view 

A year or so ago I whispered with a friend Who learned my name  On a damp playground “When it gets harder” she said “Remember where you’re going”

A year or so ago A stranger in front of A black screen computer  Said between sips of coffee “I know you know what’s right for you Your eyes give it away”

A year or so ago  Alone on a train near New York I watched the skyline disappear  And life was a game of tag Because I’ve always been  Chasing 

[j-odettepoetry]

A creature made of clay

He took his hand and placed it On his heart of mud and ground And said he felt alive When there was no life to be found

And I was singing without music Raglan road into his ears Of earth and water, and his mind Was bound with rocks and bone and fears

Sionnach he whispered in my dreams The angel wooed the clay Because I thought I was from heaven Though it’s hot as hell today

It was inside a muggy class That I had seen him first and new And it was there I saw him last  Away he walked, with dirty shoes

[j-odettepoetry]

The rabbit dancer

She moves like a flag in a storm Blowing back and forth with the wind  A swerve in the hips  A violent toss of her hair But no matter how she’s moved  She hasn’t yet scared the rabbits

She sings herself to sleep When it’s too quiet even for the trees To produce melodies as if The whole forest was a music box And if it were, She’d be the one winding it up 

And the creatures of the woods Are images of people  The wolves like men on the prowl For a woman to take home The owls watching like a grandmother  Silent on a rocking chair

Then of course there’s the rabbits Her little children Dancing with her in the warm breeze  Of a summer with little rain But plenty of water  And I’ll watch like a rabbit myself

Too afraid to greet her