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ja-stuff · 7 months

Text

Ghost

Note: Zhongli narrates this POV italics are his initial thoughts, normal fonts are just him narrating less important details. Bold-Italicized lines are Y/n’s line calling for Zhongli

Genre: angst

Character: Zhongli x Reader

Zhongli’s POV

9:05

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

(00:00:00:08:03:48) (time countdown with reader’s clock)

Time feels so fast today, and the day felt short even when the sun has just risen in the land of Liyue… It feels weird, why does it feel like the clock is weighing so much on me? It’s as if something is chasing me, it’s like I know what it is but could not put my finger on it. Could this unpleasant feeling be an omen(?)… Something terrible might happen during this year’s festival, I should order Xiao to double stroll around Liyue and ask the traveler to do so to keep in check groups of hilichurls roaming around. Keeping the peace and letting everyone be at ease is the utmost priority.

“How are you liking the newly brewed tea of the day, Master Zhongli?” - Fan Er’ye, the owner of Heyu tea house came up to me with his usual smile.

“As always coming in for tea as I watch the people of Liyue walk around, feels nice,” I said as I took another sip from the tea.

“I see that it has come to your liking, as you have requested one of the staff, here’s the chamomile and green tea leaves I picked from my homegrown garden...” Fan Er’ye reached his hand out to me, giving me two jars of tea leaves I requested to give Y/n when I go back to the hill.

“Many thanks, Fan Er’ye.” Bowing his head, he walked away from my table.

<don’t know if will use>

As I proceed to watch the busy people preparing for the festival, the familiar light vibrations of the ground whispered at me “Zhongli, my love, I wish you would come home early today...”

My grip on the teacup tightens a little. They used it again. The secret way to call for me. It’s not that I don’t like it, but I wish they would just use it for emergencies, and not order me to come home, especially after the discussion we had last night… So I’ll just ignore it. I am planning to go back to the hill after I finish this tea to give them the leaves anyway.

13:35

(00:00:00:03:25:00)

Damn. I did not expect the time to go by just like that after I dropped by Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to have a few chats with the locals who had visited and ask Director Hu about lighting lanterns from their passed-away families and friends at the Border in Wuwang Hill to wish them a new year at the afterlife.

“Our good consultant, your job here’s finished. I thank you for dropping by the Parlor even when today’s our no-work day.” Director Hu thanked me while she tried to bid goodbyes to the people who entered the Border.

“In which case, I’ll go back to the hill and give Y/n these leaves.”

“Oh. You haven’t gone home yet?” Director Hu questioned with concerned eyes. This is my first time seeing her concerned eyes over something that I wasn’t sure of.

“But, Y/n– oh, I don’t think I’m allowed to say that, it feels like she’s–.”

“Say what?” I asked, feeling a little uneasy with how Director Hu was about to tell me something that seems to be important slightly bothers me.

“Hm. Nothing? Ahehe. I just don’t think that you’ll mind it though, it would be pointless if I ramble about it..” She nervously smiled with her eyes wavering with something like ‘guilt’ written on them, but I couldn’t be bothered if Hu Tao says it is ‘nothing’

“Okay? Well, I guess if it’s not something important then it is time for me to be on my way.”

…

Arriving at Liyue’s teleport waypoint, I saw a familiar silhouette walking from the distance… Seeing them walking around Liyue, feels like I was back in the past when I saw them at Ningguang’s parade across Liyue back to the Jade Chamber’s Palace– It would be nice to follow them, but I know it’s going to be awkward. I still don’t feel like facing them after last night’s fight, but I’ll be back on the hill in a few minutes, so maybe I’ll just meet them there.

15:00

(00:00:00:01:59:00)

“My Morax, come home. I’m tired.” Again, with the unnecessary calls. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. ‘If this is going to spark a new discussion which I wouldn’t like, I’m not coming to the hill earlier.’ I whispered in my mind.

“Zhongli-daren…” Xiao’s voice beside me made me look in his direction.

“How has it been? Are you through combing the lands of Liyue safe from danger?” I asked, curious at the little box he was holding, this looks like the one Y/n has been keeping in their room for quite some time now.

“It is indeed safe from the dangers that may occur on tonight’s celebration, Zhongli-daren.”

“I see. Good work, Xiao.”

“Y/n– I lit up a lantern with Y/n a few minutes ago.” He started, which made my brow raise “They lit it up at the back of your shared home.”

“This early? With the sun still actively rolling across the land?” Xiao nodded,

“Yes. They told me they wanted to light it up for me first this year.” I hummed

“Did they say they will attend the festival? Are they coming down from the hill?” I asked, curious if we’ll watch the lanterns on the streets of Liyue with everyone like in the past years. I might just apologize later, I hope they said they’ll come…

“They did not mention.” Oh.

“Hm. I see. Well, good work with ensuring Liyue’s safety.” As Xiao and I part ways, I tried to shrug off the weird feeling I felt when Xiao did not add more any answers Y/n should’ve provided like they always do.

16:55

(00:00:00:00:05:10)

The whole of Liyue gathered as soon as the sun set, the lighted lanterns illuminated the whole Liyue harbor, the fleeting noise created from exchanging conversations and the waves of laughter radiated visible excitement and joy among the attendees of the Lantern Rite Festival echoed through the whole city. Everyone expresses their thrill in welcoming the new year, but here I am turning my head 360 degrees, eyes searching for someone in the crowd hoping that Y/n will arrive later than the past year– *throb throb*

Oh, wait, I’m feeling it again, a sudden pain in my chest…

A feeling which never left me since I parted with Y/n last night. I am sure that what bothers me is related to them, but just like any other day they’ll be able to understand me like usual, and we can just go on with our days. They know how to make everything fine. Yes, that’s just how they are. So when I get to them I’ll just make them tea and start our New Year ‘right’ this time.

16:59

(00:00:00:00:00:30)

A few minutes had passed, and here I was finding the path back to the hill. I don’t even know why I am doing this, but I was running as soon as I felt the ground shake differently from what I am used to, the air smelled so sad giving me a heavy feeling when I breathed in the air as it makes my heart pound in a light but painful way.

The festival started, and loud booms surrounded the area, the colorful light lit the sky as its reflection bounced on the ground lighting my path back to the hill. Somehow, the anxiety I am feeling right now must be the guilt of not apologizing sooner to Y/n as my mind went clear watching the fireworks up in the sky. I recalled Y/n’s smile while watching the lanterns every year, maybe I have been feeling this bothered earlier because, maybe I just do miss her so much, and did not mean to do that last night like how I always regret fighting with her every single time in the last 10 years.

I admit, I am always in the wrong but my pride doesn’t allow me to come to apologize first which–

“Y/n?” I called once I reach the house.

“Y/n? Where are you?” I entered the house and put the bag from the teahouse on the living room table. “I have tea leaves. Let’s brew some.” I voiced out through the hallway of the house. Opening the doors I can see, only to find no traces of them inside. She could be in the back garden, admiring the lights from the city.

“Y/n…” Oh, I am right.

I called standing still from where I am, expecting them to stand up and welcome me with a smile, yet there was no movement. “Y/n?” I called them a little louder, they might not hear me since the sounds of the fireworks and the voices of the people can be heard from this hill.

“Y/n?” yet there’s no response.

*throb* My chest started to hurt again.

“Y/n? I know I– okay, I am back?” nope, they’re staying still as if like stone.

I watched their back for a few seconds and realized their shoulders– were not moving… not… moving. I walked slowly not to startle them– they must be asleep, right?

*throb* I could feel my heart sink as I got closer and closer until I was standing an inch closer to them…

“Hey? What’s up?” I voiced as softly as I could, “What’s wrong, Y/n?” I re-asked.

Yet no answers… I froze as the cold wind hit my face, feeling the ground as if it was too soft rather than solid and it made my knees weak…

I feel like sinking…

“H--hey? Y/n, stop this.” I walked on my knees, closing what made little of our distance,

And there I saw the lights reflecting on their unblinking eyes… unblinking lifeless eyes…

(SN):

Zhongli pulled Y/n from the bench and lightly placed them in between his embrace, carefully tapping their face as he repeated the words,

“Y/n, please. Don’t do this… I’m back, I’m sorry I’m late… Please, don’t do this…”

Zhongli’s POV

My hands became busy, trying to check on their body if they were harmed or anything, yet there were no signs of being harmed but they were not waking up!

“Y/n wake-up, please. I beg you, please… I apologize…” I hugged their body, forcing their arm to hug me back but it just fell on the ground creating a soft thud…

“No… No, please no…” I can feel the time stopping as soon as a tear escapes my eye, realizing that they’re– no there’s something I can do… I am an archon, I must– shit… I don’t know what to do!

Could this be what was weighing on me since I left the house after the argument we had last night? I don’t understand, I know that I said that the time feels like it stopped, but this– what happened just came in unannounced, it never gave me an idea that this could happen– I never thought that this could happen– now, I–

“Y/n, please? Tell me this isn’t true…” I whispered in their ear, hoping that they’d whisper back at me, “Come on baby, wake up…”

I– feel hurt, no– what was that again, something that I haven’t felt for a long time? Ah, Grief…

Memories of the past during the Great Archon War

“Y/n– Zhongli-daren!”

“Y/n!”

“What happ– oh archons!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again, hope you enjoyed it and see you on the next post!

This one is for those who haven't seen Part 1

Sorry, this took longer to upload. Short story time, so I was busy with work lately and did not know that Zhongli's banner was on the week of my birthday, I only get to log in on the exact day of my birthday which left me 4 days to wish for him, and he did not come home to me! I'm so mad, that's why the next part titled "Regrets" will be his suffering just cause I want him to suffer for hurting Y/n and for not coming home to my party. Kidding aside, I hope that you liked this one, I really tried my best to keep it subtle and not let everything spill before the next part.

Love,

Ja♥

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ja-stuff · 1 year

Text

For the last 10 years

Character: Zhongli

Warnings: (Reader was never on the receiving end.) Reader has the Countdown Disease (?), light swearing, slight redundancy of words, light mentions of bleeding

Genre: Angst, only angst (no comfort at all).

Note: Another work that might have punctuation, sentence, and typographical errors as this is not yet 'again' proofread, but I just wanna post something to update you i'm still alive and writing lol. Please enjoy! ♥

09:00

[How alone must you feel every single day.]

You tossed to your left and stretched your arms out to the side where you know your partner is supposed to be sleeping early this morning. The coldness of the empty space sends disappointment in your system, slowly accept the fact that he will never stay like how he had always been in the last 10 years of your relationship.

You never knew that you would fall in love, you despised it from when you were little. So when you grew up and were of the right age, the thing you once knew you didn’t know existed in your system, overwhelming you with different kinds of emotions which drowned you to the core and you were not even expecting that it will be from an Archon Morax, Rex Lapis himself, or Zhongli as what you… everyone has been calling him in the last 10 years.

[A home that was supposed to make you closer]

Trying to dismiss the waves of memories from the events which happened last night, you tried to force a smile and patted your shoulder lightly to encourage yourself a little to get through the day. You got up and unsteadily made your way to the bathroom to wash, knocking over a few things from the hallway of your cold home located at one of the mountains surrounding Liyue harbor. Grunting, you safely entered the bathroom and filled the sink with water, but the familiar rush of a headache coming to you followed by a nosebleed that painted the water a pale red made you think of the only flower you first and last received from Zhongli. You were reminded of the silk flower and the way how Zhongli gave it to you under a rainbow from where your house was standing in the last 10 years came rushing to mind as if it was just yesterday when he went and stirred up your world.

Then again, thinking about Zhongli made you relive the disagreements he made before leaving. The images of him being slightly irritated with how persistent you were from last night’s argument, how you pushed yourself into his bubble as your only wish for his acceptance, voicing out and trying to make him understand your feelings and what you have been through, from how you raised your voice at him for the very first time to put yourself in authority to make him listen and stay. But last night was too messy and none of the words you spat you could recall. Hence the memory of how you looked at his back turned to silhouette as it disappeared in one of Liyue’s coldest-darkest hours is so vivid as if it is his sign to silently dismiss the fight without even trying to speak his mind about the matter, leaving your growing anxiety worse.

But just as the house was stirred last night full of hurt emotions and words, it is now too quiet enough to question yourself whether you have been living mute, deaf, and hidden in the last 10 years.

[A clock that ticks to remind you it’s enough]

Looking at your reflection in the mirror you read the clock that only you– you alone can see…

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

00:00:00:08:02:55

Eight hours… Even with just the remaining hours you have, there is no Zhongli around to make you feel less lonely as you near your time to permanently leave him… To leave Liyue… To leave the world… You swallow the lump in your throat that was threatening to melt together with your tears and a heavy heart.

“What the h–hell did I do?” you voiced out… “Was it so wrong to l-love?”

“Was I not cut for this?” tears started to flow like a stream, “Was it so hard to receive o-one, when all I did was t-to g-ive?” trying to think of more questions, one thought got you.

“W–was I w–wrong to love an a–archon?”

You trembled as you looked at your reflection in the mirror. Disheveled hair, a thin face, and deep and tired-looking eyes were all you have seen in front of you. In the last 10 years, this is the first time you see yourself so broken, that you do not have any idea how to keep a neat appearance in front of the Archon you loved in your final moments.

“No– what was I–I think? He– he is the person I always love… How can I say that… I–’m sorry..”

You kneeled on the ground carefully touching it as you closed your eyes and silently whispered, “Zhongli, my love, I wish you would come home early today...” knowing well that your archon lover will probably pick up the waves of your voice just by the vibrations of the ground.

13:30

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

00:00:00:03:30:07

[How Baizhu and the others see you]

It reads, three hours… You slumped on the chair across from Baizhu’s seat in his office, you waited for him to finish passing on some instructions to Qiqi who was at the counter of the Bubu Pharmacy.

“What brought you here Y/n?”

“I– uh… How do I look first?” you asked, putting on your best smile in front of the man who you had been close to ever since you became Ningguang’s maiden years ago.

“Uh… well you look the same? Come on, tell me what’s the matter?” Baizhu gets to the point directly. Your bright smile could not fool him, and you just looked at his standing figure that is currently examining the new medicinal herbs brought to the pharmacy this morning. You got up and sneakily hugged his back, which startled Baizhu but regained his composure.

“If you only need to hug someone, go ask your archon for a hug! I’m busy!”

“Why are you so cold?” you chuckled

“‘Am not! So what happened? Take a seat.” With how persistent you were, Baizhu decided to stop what he was doing and listened to you.

“First off, here! Take this.” you gave him three sealed boxes wherein a time spell was cast. “Yours is the green one, Ningguang’s got the gold, and– Zhongli gets–”

“Wait?! You’re telling me to give this to your partner?! Hell no, why should I? You live in the same house.”

“But you know he’s not always home…”

Upon hearing your words, Baizhu’s stubbornness subsided, and watched your shoulders droop. Somehow the action you did make him feel like he is missing something that you were not telling him.

“Are you leaving Liyue harbor?” you did not answer his question and remained still in your seat as you tried to steady your breaths. “Are you finally leaving him?”

When Baizhu asked the latter, the emotions you have been trying to hide since making your way to Bubu pharmacy started to show. Hands trembling, and tears falling, you looked at Baizhu with complete sadness in your eyes, which took Baizhu seconds to a minute before he tried to search for answers in his box forcing it open but the item won’t budge.

“Silly… Stop struggling! You won’t be able to open it until 18:00. Ah, right! Zhongli… his– his is this white with gold lining box…” you let out a chuckle before you wiped your tears.

“I’ll miss you, Baizhu…” You took a step closer to him and opened your arms in front of him. Baizhu did not move from his seat, he was not sure whether to take it too as your very actions slightly gave him a sense of anxiety that he never knew you’d ever make him feel… Not from you, a friend he knew that shone the brightest as long as he could remember.

“You know… Y/n, this is scary… you’re scaring me. Why? You can talk to me and Ningguang… Y’know?” slowly indulging himself with the warmth of your embrace, he could feel your heartbeat. A beating he has never heard before…

“Hey you– are you okay?!” he stood up leaving you standing still, he racked his desk drawers to look for some equipment to try and hear your heart…

“Thank you, Baizhu…” you whispered as you left the pharmacy and ran as far away as you could from Bubu pharmacy.

“By the way, your archon went here last night and he–” Successfully grabbing the item he was looking for, Baizhu turned around but was only met by the scent of your shadows crowding the whole office.

“Y/n?”

14:45

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

(00:00:00:02:15:02)

Two hours… and he still hasn’t gone home. You thought it was late and you did not bother to cook yourself a meal for lunch, nor prepared a meal for Morax to eat… You sat on the newly bought gazebo outside your house to breathe Liyue’s fresh air for the last time. Smiling as you take in nature's welcome on your slowly weakening body, the warm rays of the sun touching your face as it also made your hair shine a different hue from your original hair color, the breeze of nature tickling each of your active senses, the breathtaking views of the mountains, and Liyue harbor overwhelming the extent of what your eyes can see… It’s more than that.

Yes, Liyue is more than that… As you were filled with a short amount of Joy in your alone time, you remembered the lantern rite. You slowly went inside the house and looked for the lantern you had prepared beforehand, lighting it up as you softly whispered and called “Xiao” a name that you know will come to you right away, making you meet the person you knew was close to the archon you love come with just one command.

“Y/n, you called?” the familiar voice and appearance of a boy a little taller than you appeared, his eyes fixed on the lighted lantern you were holding.

“Hey, Xiao…” you flashed a grin, hiding the fact to him that you’re starting to grow a little weaker as your time ticks down. “Mind if I light it first?” you asked, voice as sweet as ever, melting Xiao’s cold soul. Reminding him how the last 10 years of being there to protect you on behalf of Morax’s command, this is the first time you initiated to light a lantern first, instead of being the last, and the sun is still up at that.

“I don’t but won’t it make sense? The sun is still running around Liyue, why light it this early?” Xiao questioned, “I just wanna be the first one to light it up for you this year… (When I see them, I’ll tell them you said Hi…)” you said but whispered the last sentence making Xiao squint his eyes trying to decipher words that were showing in your mouth.

“Here…” You walked past his figure and went to higher ground near the cliff at the back of your house. You closed your eyes and said your little prayers, as you slowly knelt and touched the ground once more to call for Zhongli, hoping that this time he’d come to you once you asked. As you let go of the lantern in broad daylight, your last words to give to Zhongli came out.

“My Morax, come home. I’m tired.” Once the silent words were delivered you felt a hot air surrounding you, and the ground shaking a little. “Get up, Y/n. I was being called by others again.” Xiao helped you up, and you just took his hand and touched his forehead.

“Oh, I see! I hope I did not take too much of your time. Also, I wish for you to accept this, Xiao. I just wanted to thank you.”

“It is my duty. Part of my responsibility. It is my honor to be called by you, Y/n.” the words Xiao let out made you feel sad but you forced a laugh so he won’t suspect that something was going on with you at the moment.

“I think you should get going now. Thank you, Xiao.” He bowed to you and kept the small box you gave him, similar to the one you gave Baizhu.

“I wish to see him cry over me before I leave.”

16:50

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

(00:00:00:00:15:00)

Minutes… it says fifteen minutes… You only have fifteen minutes left to stay awake and see him, to thank him, to give him your last smile, to have your last talk with him, to ask him your last question, to receive the last assurance you ever wished, your last minutes to hear the words you wanted to hear more from him, last minutes to wait for him before you puff the last air you could ever breathe out, to give him your last I love you,

… and your last kiss to give him the last goodbye. Yet there’s still no Zhongli appearing in front of you. He hadn’t come to any of your pleads. He is not with you… He was never with you in the last 10 years of your relationship.

(00:00:00:0:07:00)

You sighed as you made your way back to the gazebo and sat on the ground where it stands and listened to the distant sound that the joyous people of Liyue harbor were making as they pulled their last-minute preparations for the festival. Every second felt like torture to you, thinking to yourself about how the man you loved the most did not give you the love that you deserved and was not able to give you the assurance you needed all the years you have been together.

Now, you’re drowning in your memories of the past welcoming the pain you’re feeling, with your senses deteriorating little by little, and your eyes falling its last tears along with your vision getting blurry enveloping you to unwelcomed darkness in each passing second that not even the bright lights coming from Liyue’s Lantern Rite Festival can make bring back your sight, ‘It was nice seeing the region you made brighter than ever, Morax...’

“ Morax, I–.” were your last words before you breathed your last sweet breath, your head slowly dropping on the bench, as the sound of LIyue’s people started to move near the mountain

17:00

(Years:Months:Days:Hours:Minutes: Seconds)

(00:00:00:00:00:10)

Your time is up. Your lungs are burning as it tries to take in more air. You know that it won’t make any difference even if you ask to have your time extended to properly end things with Zhongli, but fate was never once on your side after you met him. All you ever experienced in the last 10 years was anything but not love and assurance. You believed that his heart was never with you after 1 year of being together, yet you never failed to lose hope that maybe one day, he’ll be able to see you and care for you like how you were with him. But wishing is a luxury to you when you are already with an archon who can give you that, ‘won’t it be too much to ask for a little more’ Yes, you believed it is true, but if only you were a little selfish, maybe this rare disease did not come looking for you.

Accepting the harsh reality, you thought to yourself that even at this moment, you could never bring yourself to hate Zhongli, not even once in the last 10 years have you thought of hating him even if it is too painful to love him but only one selfish thought came to you, touching the ground for the last time, you whispered in your mind. “I do not wish to meet you in my next life, Morax…”

With your body losing its warmth, the last tear taking its last drop, and your pupils slowly dilating, comes the sound of the fireworks from Liyue harbor shooting at the skies reflecting the colorful sparkles dancing in your lifeless eyes…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aaaaaaaaah! How was it? I was tearing the whole time writing this one! Btw. Might make a Zhongli POV one. Unsure when to post as work has been keeping me lately. But I really hope you liked this one. Thank you so much for reaching up to this point, I appreciate it! Stay safe, hydrated, and take care sunshine!

Oh, and here's part 2!

Love,

Ja ♥

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