jack--rocks - Tumblr blog

[jack--rocks]

I am incredibly evil.

[jack--rocks]

i still like to abide by the completely shameless and stupid headcanon that jack is one of those people who will blush at the drop of a goddamn hat and blush even harder after getting mad at their own blushing

tragically beautiful

[jack--rocks]

drowsyfantasy replied to your post: drowsyfantasy replied to your photo: god won’t…

just keep drawing handsome jack. that’s good enough for me. ugly holiday sweater time though. when he lifts his arms up it’s too short and his ultraskinny waist shows.

[nervous sweating]

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nakayama defending his pure and perfect husbando on anonymous message boards

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Having dinner with Handsome Jack tonight to celebrate my discovery of Actual Food!

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"That's wonderful to hear!"

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope! Haha, only child. One was enough for my parents.”

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I appreciate it so much! And, hey, if you stop by, I can show you some things I've made out of food paste!

Biodegradable decor!

I’ll consider it.

I don’t need any myself. You’ll put it to use.

[jack--rocks]

"No, no!" He cried with a great deal more exasperation than he'd meant. Immediately his experiment's attention was caught and it stared over its back at the two, offering a slow blink and a flick of its snake-like tongue before it picked up on the siren. Suddenly, it turned to dart towards her, but Nakayama quickly raised defensive hands at it and threw himself into its path.

"Hey- whoah, hey now, this one's friendly! Shh, shh! Settle down!"

The professor's back stayed turned to the girl, the panting beast's huge head rested on his shoulder as he smoothed his hands over the slick scales on its head.

"Look at what a mess you've made," he tsks at the beast.

Hazard froze in horror when the creature awoke, just in time to focus on what seemed to be a savage… person(?) slipped into the room in a way similar to her. She pressed against the wall, watching the carnage with wide eyes. Well, that certainly happened. And there was… blood…. everywhere.

The girl felt faint, as used to the sight as she was. Apparently they weren’t as cute and harmless as Nakayama had advertised. In fact, the man seemed be forgotten underneath his toppled chair, wheezing as he crawled out from beneath it. His eyes immediately fell upon her, making her freeze, staring back.

"Uh," she couldn’t think of anything to say, words blurring together, "IjustcametoseethereptilesIguessbutifthisisabadtime—!”

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Oh? That's, uh, interesting! Do you... keep in touch?

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope! Haha, only child. One was enough for my parents.”

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... Oh. Huh. That's interesting! Hopefully no one will ask you to kill me! I mean, they should, considering I'm all Evil Scientist Bring-Jack-Back-to-Lifey, but, y'know, whatever. It's cool.

Don't go out of your way! Really! I don't have. Uh. Anything to pay you with. Except dehydrated meals. Haha. But, uh, if you happen upon any.....

[(:))]

Nakayama or That weird old guy in D-Block. It’s nice to meet you. I go by Zer0. Or “Kill that Assassin.” Many people, all of whom are dead now, call me that.

And so, as you may have guessed, I am an assassin. For hire, as it were. I will also perform small tasks if I am b0red, which happens from time to time.

Speaking of small tasks, This clay that you can’t obtain, Do you need a hand?

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"Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope! Haha, only child. One was enough for my parents.”

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....!!!!!

YOU'RE BRILLIANT!!!!!! YES. FUND IT.

First we find a tape recorder. Then we’ll just follow him around video taping him. We’ll say we’re making a movie of his greatness and achievements. It’s the perfect plan and he won’t kill us! Then once the tape runs out, we’ll forever have a handsome jack movie. 

We can discuss our favorite parts too

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#me too nakayama #lets watch handsome jack movies together and pass out

... Oh, um, okay. That sounds like a plan!!! How do w-

I AM THE SLEEPIEST MAN ALIVE!!!!

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lieutenant commander general archduke pope king CEO head-manager boss lord handsome jack-sorcerer prince of the world

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Oh-! Aww...

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i thought there was nothing worse than fan boats

then nakayama started crying

[jack--rocks]

I AM THE SLEEPIEST MAN ALIVE!!!!