jadeannbyrne

[jadeannbyrne]

🧬💣 You’ve Never Seen Me — And That’s the Point

🧬💣 You’ve Never Seen Me — And That’s the Point Femme Visibility, Erotic Mythmaking, and Why the World Still Isn’t Ready By Jade Ann Byrne | Trap Class Paladin | eGirl4Rent PMC | Weaponized Invisibility | Biological Aphrodisiac | Final Femme Boss Let me tell you a secret: 99.99999999999% of the world has never seen me. Not my face. Not my full silhouette. Not my full volume turned up to 11…

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🎶 Come Write With Me: Jade Ann Byrne Joins Sarah Spencer’s 5-in-5 Songwriting Challenge 🎶

🎶 Come Write With Me: Jade Ann Byrne Joins Sarah Spencer’s 5-in-5 Songwriting Challenge 🎶 Posted by Jade Ann Byrne | Eat My Cake Records x ArtByJadeAnnByrne.com ✨ It’s happening. ✨ From June 23–27, I’ll be writing five songs in five days — and you can too. Let’s shut out the noise, grab our instruments, open our hearts, and honor the call of the muse. But here’s the real story: We’re not…

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Jade Ann Byrne: Over the Moon About EDC 2025 – A Casting Call for the Ultimate eGirl Energy Big 2025 Energy. Big California eGirl Energy. BIG EDC Energy.

Jade Ann Byrne: Over the Moon About EDC 2025 – A Casting Call for the Ultimate eGirl Energy Big 2025 Energy. Big California eGirl Energy. BIG EDC Energy. When someone forwarded me this Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC) 2025 casting call, my heart practically burst into neon confetti. If there was ever an event tailor-made for my essence, spirit, and electrified existence, this is it. EDC isn’t just…

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🍰 Add Jade Ann Byrne to Your Apple Music Favorites 🎧

🍰 Add Jade Ann Byrne to Your Apple Music Favorites 🎧 Posted by: Eat My Cake Records – June 20, 2025 Category: Streaming & Sweetheart Anthems https://music.apple.com/us/artist/jade-ann-byrne/1774276902 You know the rules: 💽 Loop it. Shuffle it. Fall in love with it all over again. Jade Ann Byrne is now glowing in your Apple Music library like a neon guardian angel of retro heartbreak,…

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Jade Ann Byrne DUI (Immigration) Checkpoint Cowboy: A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Fourth Amendment

Jade Ann Byrne DUI (Immigration) Checkpoint Cowboy: A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Fourth Amendment Written by Ms. Jade Ann Byrne P/K/A @JadeAnnByrne Published via Eat My Cake Records There’s a certain poetry to being first in line at a freshly opened DUI & immigration checkpoint, especially when you’re a known libertarian Texan eGirl temporarily traveling aboard a mechanical horse ; riding a…

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“The Last Lightkeeper” by Jade Ann Byrne

“The Last Lightkeeper” by Jade Ann Byrne In this stark and striking piece, “The Last Lightkeeper,” Jade Ann Byrne captures a moment of stillness in the chaos of fantasy. Rendered in tattoo-inspired, stencil-ready linework, this black-and-white unicorn does not frolic—it watches. Its gaze is ancient, unyielding, and slightly sorrowful, as though it has seen too many ages pass, too many stars…

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Jade Ann Byrne Presents, “Name?” “I am David”

By Jade Ann Byrne The Internet David (Expanded Jade Ann Byrne Edition – 100x Lore) PART I: The Divide Between Daves and Davids Dave’s are one way; David’s are another. A Dave is someone who keeps it light. He shrugs through life. “It’s not that deep, bro.” He might post memes about feelings but never show his own. He drinks a beer while the world burns. He laughs because crying feels…

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A Short Story: The Witch’s Knot of the Gas Station Oracle (Unredacted Version)

🕯️🩸A Short Story: The Witch’s Knot of the Gas Station Oracle (Unredacted Version) As told by Jade Ann Byrne | Art by Jade Ann Byrne It was 3:14 a.m. off a forgotten exit on I-5 — one that doesn’t show up on any current map. The moon that night was bloated like something rotten and knowing, its strawberry light leaking down in streaks too sharp to feel safe. A Shell station blinked into…

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Paladin Byrne Jade-Ann (Peanut Butter & Jelly-Apple Slices) Press Release: 2023: A New Record Year for PB&J-AS

Paladin Byrne Jade-Ann (Peanut Butter & Jelly-Apple Slices) Press Release: 2023: A New Record Year for PB&J-AS Hello, A delightful new press release has been published on January 25, 2024. • 2023: A New Record Year for Paladin Byrne Jade-Ann (Peanut Butter & Jelly-Apple Slices). View this scrumptious press release on our whimsically wonderful website pbj-as.com. PB&J-AS Financial…

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What is COOKing?” — Found Art on a California Park Bench by Jade Ann Byrne

“What is COOKing?” — Found Art on a California Park Bench You don’t always go looking for art. Sometimes, it taps you on the shoulder while you’re out grabbing burritos or sipping that purple lean over iced out soda from a double foam cup. That’s how this piece found me. I was walking through a California park when I spotted a question, written in dry chalk on the slatted wood of a sun-aged…

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The Last Unbothered Nude by Jade Ann Byrne

🎨 “The Last Unbothered Nude” by Jade Ann Byrne A Paladin Satirical Study in Smoothness, Hydration & Immortal Branding Posted on: artwork-by.jadeannbyrne.com Category: Fine Art, Parody, eGirlism, Post-Modern Feminine Divinity “She was the most hydrated woman I had ever seen,” said Jade Ann Byrne of herself in the mirror at golden hour. Thus, “The Last Unbothered Nude” was born — not just a…

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My Pizza Hut Sends Heart Emojis in Cheese Sauce n Crust: Pizza Hut and the Power of the Pan

🍕 My Pizza Sends Heart Emojis in Cheese: Pizza Hut and the Power of the Pan Posted on lacuillegraisseuse.jadeannbyrne.com 🖤 By Jade Ann Byrne | Pizza Grease Priestess | California eGirl on a Tractor “Your girl sends you heart emojis. My pizza sends me actual heart-shaped pizza. We are not the same.” That’s not just sass. That’s an ethos. You ever get a text that’s just a heart emoji? Cute,…

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The Rime That Lives Again — My Heart, My Art, and the Friend TAS Who Gave It Voice & Took Hers Back Today

🎨 The Rime That Lives Again — My Heart, My Art, and the Friend TAS Who Gave It Voice & Took Hers Back Today There are works we make because we must—because they echo something buried so deep in us, it demands to be seen. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner was one of those pieces for me. In 2024, I poured my soul into an art series inspired by Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s immortal poem, first…

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🚨OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM PALADIN JADE ANN BYRNE🚨

🚨OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM PALADIN JADE ANN BYRNE🚨 a.k.a. California eGirl, reluctant Saint of the Unbothered, Lavender Herbster, Not Your Scapegoat, Alleged Third Party, Actual Problem Let the record show—sealed in beeswax, notarized in Monster Zero Ultra, and gently smudged with lavender ash—that I, Jade Ann Byrne, had absolutely nothing to do with Taylor Swift reclaiming ownership of her…

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Did You Thank Your Amazon Delivery Driver(s): A Cosmic Act of Kindness by Jade Ann Byrne

Did You Thank Your Amazon Delivery Driver(s): A Cosmic Act of Kindness by Jade Ann Byrne In the vast tapestry of our interconnected lives, every action, no matter how small, ripples through the universe. Just as we thank our bus drivers for safely guiding us on our journeys, it’s time we extend that gratitude to the unsung heroes who bring the world to our doorsteps—our Amazon delivery…

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Jade Ann Byrne & The 10,000-Mile Oil Change Before My Birthday (aka Why Sex Workers Deserve Real Healthcare Heroes) An Ode To Planned Parenthood

Jade Ann Byrne & The 10,000-Mile Oil Change Before My Birthday (aka Why Sex Workers Deserve Real Healthcare Heroes) An Ode To Planned Parenthood By Jade Ann Byrne | Digital + IRL Sex Worker | Health Dossier Series Let’s keep it all the way real: My job requires more routine maintenance than most people give their cars. My body is my career. My presence, my health, my vibe—it all depends on…

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Jade Ann Byrne Reddit Call to UpD00T - https://www.Reddit.com/u/JadeAnnByrnePRO

Jade Ann Byrne Reddit Call to UpD00T – https://www.Reddit.com/u/JadeAnnByrnePRO https://www.reddit.com/u/JadeAnnByrnePRO/ Hay Jadettes, unhinged lurkers, secret supporters, celebs and brands I ghost write for, the other that get mystery shopped by me, and anyone who like the internet ad free and quality content. I just launched my brand-new Reddit Professional account—and let me tell you, I’m…