jaidenblue

[jaidenblue]

This is my life currently

Life Update: Currently being forced to eat by my family. I hate the weight and wanna die. But I get to move out pretty soon and live with one of my best friends. He’s really cool and has so far in my life been the only one who can handle my fucked mental state. So I’m gonna move out and get a job somehow and be able to actually lose weight again.

[jaidenblue]

PSA! SPREAD THIS AS FAR AS YOU CAN!

I.C.E HAS BEEN REPORTED TO BE AT SEATTLE, DENVER, AND SAN JOSE PROTESTS. THEY ARE DETAINING PEOPLE. IF YOU ARE UNDOCUMENTED THEN YOU ARE IN DANGER.

I am willing to bet that they will soon be at other protests as well. Please stay home if you are undocumented. Please be safe. We don't want you to get hurt or killed.

Please spread this as far as you possibly can.

[jaidenblue]

reblog if you're gay, not gay, slightly gay, or if you just want to launch donald trump into a dying star

there is not a single reason to not reblog this

[jaidenblue]

Please remember this

Read this and save a life - YOUR OWN

From a surgical nurse and certified CPR teacher:

Please pause for 2 minutes and read this:

1. Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

2. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.

3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.

4. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.

5. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

6. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

7. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

8. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

9. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

10. A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.

11. Rather than sending jokes, please... contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life.

12. If this message comes around you... more than once… please don’t get irritated... You should instead, be happy that you have many friends who care about you & keeps reminding you how to deal with a Heart attack.

please take the time and boost this post by reposting it and sending it to those you love because we all need to understand how to quickly deal with heart attacks

[jaidenblue]

Idk why anyone would wanna be friends, but here this is

[jaidenblue]

Honestly, you guys should go through this. I had a really rough night last night and I found it a while ago and I ended up starting this process and it’s really good and really helpful, and also helps kinda bring you up.

What to do when you don't know what to do

·       Get out of bed. Do that now.

·       Go into the bathroom and remove all of your clothing. I have fat that gathers into massive love handles, stretch marks on every bit of skin that isn’t flat. But when my clothes are all off, with no fabric to bother me, no illusion of what my body looks like and all I can see is myself, I feel better. I feel more wholesome. Maybe you will, too.

·       Run your hands over it, turn around. Have no illusion of what your body looks like. It’s not as bad as you think. Get a good picture in your mind of anything you want to attend to. Make a list if you need to, only about your body.

·       Brush your hair through, if you have it.

·       Put your hair up and out of the way, if it’s long.

·       Floss and brush your teeth very well. Take your time on this. Do it twice if you need to. Your breath won’t feel as thick, you won’t feel as heavy.

·       Put on lots of chapstick or balm right afterwards

·       Wash any parts of your body that you need to.

·       Blow your nose until there’s nothing left, get it all out. You’re probably clogged up.

·       Clip your nails, take off any old polish. Push your cuticles back.

·       Wash your hair, if you want to.

·       If you (like to)shave, shave everything. You’ll feel weightless. Only fill up the bath a little bit and do it over the edge. You’ll just feel dirty if you sit in hair.

·       Drink a full glass of water. Don’t sip, don’t chug. Just don’t set it down until it’s gone.

·       Dress yourself in whatever way you feel ready for the day. Yoga pants, sweatpants, t-shirts, dresses, shorts. Whatever way that makes things easier.

·       Eat. Eat something. Don’t pull random bits of food from random boxes. Prepare it at once and sit down. Take this time to rest.

·       Get a drink of your choice, as long as it isn’t alcohol. As a matter of fact, if there’s alcohol on the counter, put it away. Don’t look at it. It will only give you a headache. Make yourself chocolate milk, water, a smoothie, a soda, whatever sounds nice.

·       Sit on the floor and forget about everything you need to think about. Set a timer for exactly one minute. Close your eyes, and during that one minute, pay attention to how your body feels. Ask yourself these questions. Am I sore anywhere? Stretch this bit out, put more pressure on it. Focus on your muscles. Keep your back completely straight. Did I eat enough? Think about your stomach. Focus on your breathing. Listen to the air. Can you hear the sound of your lights? A ceiling fan? Your joints? Don’t open your eyes until the time is up. This minute will pass very quickly.

·       Get a good old fashioned piece of notebook paper and a pencil. If you don’t have that use your phone or computer. Make a list of every little thing you need to do. Everything matters. Every errand, homework assignment, thing that needs cleaned, health issue… all of it.

·       Do it now. Check things off as you go. As you see things disappear, your head will be more clear.

·       Don’t forget to take your pills.

·       If you’ve been putting off your homework, fix yourself a snack and a tall drink of something warm. Get all of the supplies you need. Sit down and plow through it. If you need help with homework, message a friend, a family member, even message me. I’ll try and help you. It won’t take as long as you think, your mind is just cluttered. Repeat to yourself “this is what I am working on now. This is what is important now. I will feel lighter when I am finished.” Even if the assignment is due in a few weeks, more than likely it is too much to do in one night. Split it up into quarters. Work for one hour, and if you’re close, finish it off. Give yourself this one hour.

·       You don’t have to make your bed, but take off the blankets and shake them out. If there’s crumbs on the mattress, vacuum, or wipe them off. If you have dirty clothes, put them in the hamper.

·       Now that your day is free, deal with your social problems. Is there someone you’ve been meaning to apologize to? Something you’ve upset? Something you’re unsure of? You have all of the rest of the day to deal with it. Take your time.

·       Before bed, pay special attention to your face. Wash it, clean your ears, put on acne medicine, moisturize it. Anything on your face that needs to be attended to. See how beautiful you are? Your skin will drink it up, it will look better tomorrow. Do this constantly.

·       Listen to songs you haven’t in a while. You forgot that one verse, the reason why you kept it.

·       Make a list of questions. How does a remote work? Why do we have toenails? What is this word? Look them up. They’re right there to know.

·       Ask for help

·       It’s fine to cry. I feel warm in the face afterwards. I feel smaller afterwards, less huge. Less of a problem. You need to understand that we want to matter, but when we mess up we don’t want it to matter. It goes both ways. You are the most important person. Your mistakes only have weight to you. Nobody minds as much as you think they do.

·       Do these things. Do them now.

[jaidenblue]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[jaidenblue]

Reblog this for suicide prevention.

[jaidenblue]

Sorta Ana Questions

What calorie counting apps do you use?

What workouts do you do?

How do you resist food temptations?

[jaidenblue]

Upset

This isn’t like my usual post and i’m sorry, but i’m just feeling completely awful. I didn’t stick to my stupid regime and gained weight and honestly i’m just at the lowest point in my life. I got kicked out of school because of a failing grade. I got broken up with by the girl I was fucking in love with. I have nothing. I’ve lost pretty much everything in my life and i’m trying to not feel awful. But I wanna fucking die right now. I’ve been crying all day, litterally since I woke up and i’m just sick and I don’t wanna be here anymore. I just don’t know what to do.

[jaidenblue]

Exercise & Diet Regime

Sorry, for being inactive but i’ve been trying out to figure out new diet and exercise stuff and it’s been a whole thing.

Stretches - 15 min. when I first wake up

Breakfast - Granola bar, scrambled egg, choclate milk

Workout - Boot Camp Workout

Morning Snack - Diet soda with cheese cubes/fresh fruit

Lunch - Hard to pinpoint but something small

Afternoon snack - Cookie or fruit, idk ( Hating myself sorta)

Walk - However long with Mockie

Walk - 20 min. with dad

Dinner - Chicken/Fish with veggies and pasta

Bedtime snack - Cup of milk with any various sweet

So i’m eating six times a day to quicken my metabolism and have a ton of water for it all. I can already possible disruptions, but this is something I can continue with for an extended amount of time. 

I’m also trying to work on self care and mental health and all that sort of stuff, so I’m trying to be a bit healthier with my losing weight so, I don’t know. But if you have like self care or mental health tips or stuff, please comment or anything.

[jaidenblue]

Apologize

Sorry, I haven’t been active lately, i’ve been having like a weird time. I don’t know. I talked about expanding my blog and I will start trying to post more and I hope to not let someone down, though I doubt I will. 

[jaidenblue]

Annoncement

So i’ve decided to turn this into more than an ed blog. I’ll probably still be posting on my ed, but also on like a million other things, so just that everyone knows. Some of the topics i’ll be posting on are:

- General Mental Health & Personal Mental Health

- Chronic Illness

- Lifestyle

- Fine Arts 

- Witchcraft

- True Crime

- Kinky Stuff

- Other General Things

[jaidenblue]

5/11/20

So I didn’t actually plan out today. But I did pretty good for not having planned out. More so in burning calories than I did in lower food consumption but meh.

Breakfast

Cupcake ( I actually didn’t eat breakfast, but this was the first thing I ate today)-150

Lunch 

2 1/2 Portions of Chicken and rice - 560

Crescent Roll - 78

Coke - 150

Burned

Walking - 372

Building - 200 ( Roughly)

Digging - 272

Total Calorie Value: 94

I honestly thought it would be better. But I still have time for a quick workout and a small dinner. I’m thinking a diet soda and maybe a small something. I don’t know, I just kinda wanna feel better. I’m in a crabby mood I can’t even enjoy that I actually had a decent day.

[jaidenblue]

Hello, Again

Well look where I am again. Look at my dumb ass thinking I could fucking recover. That I could ever be strong without ana. Without losing weight. Well then time to figure shit out again. I’m going to be stronger. I am going to fucking be strong enough to do all of it. I can’t wait to see myself and I can’t wait to see the way they look at me when I do

[jaidenblue]

Hey I’m looking for more blogs to follow so reblog if at least 4 apply (but hopefully more) and I’ll follow u :)

❤️14+ (essential)

🧡Has an eating disorder (essential)

💛lgbtq+

💚active as of April 2020 (essential)

💙posts daily/often

💜gw of under 100lbs (just cuz I’m looking for ppl with similar statistics - not that important tho)

💗struggles with binges and purging

💕pro recovery (essential)

🖤ftm

🤍posts male thinspo / male ed stuff

[jaidenblue]

☆Reblog If☆

My dash is hella dead so reblog if you have these ( * is required!)

15+ (*)

Post ED related stuff: Thinspo, Lowcal meals, Sweetspo, Meanspo etc. (*)

LGBT+

Eastern Standard Time Zone

Have a ugw of 115>

Post actively (*)

Around 5'2"