jaidenisasimp - Tumblr blog

[jaidenisasimp]

Bro literally feeding the simps.

I’m a day late again BUT WHO CARES

have some Valentine’s Day cards from our favorite boys 💙🧡

[jaidenisasimp]

I've been laughing my ass off at this for the past few minutes help 😭

[jaidenisasimp]

Bro the kids-

So here's a bit of new Gravity Falls trivia for you....

[jaidenisasimp]

The hell happening in the fandom.

[jaidenisasimp]

Question:

How does a man know when a woman wants him

[jaidenisasimp]

Halloween is the perfect month to cover up murder, so am gonna wait for kids to come at my doorstep and use their "ketchup" for decoration

[jaidenisasimp]

"Snek"

[jaidenisasimp]

Reblog this to let captain caviar destroy the post below

[jaidenisasimp]

Caviar x Black pearl: Caviar tries to visit BP when he sees that she is being attacked by pirates so he tries to help her but gets injured by the pirate captain which really piss BP off that she makes a giant riptide to sink the pirate ship and she was able to get Caviar to healer.

Hmmm. This would be set in a different AU from my Pure Lily AU. Also, my multi-shipper is very pleased with this request.

*The scene is set on the Salty Shark being close to the Duskgloom Sea. Captain Caviar is ordering his crew to get as close as they could.*

Captain Caviar: Make sure that the anchor is set before I set out in the submarine!!

Sailor 1: Captain!! There's something up ahead!!

Sailor 2: It looks like...A PIRATE SHIP!!!! AND MONSTER!!!!!

*Captain Caviar looks through his spyglass to see Black Pearl fighting a pirate ship a mile away. Judging by her wounds and the spears being thrown, Black Pearl wasn't doing too good.*

Captain Caviar: DON'T SET THE ANCHOR!!! GET US TO THAT FIGHT!!!!

Sailor 2: Are you crazy!? We could-

Captain Caviar: GET US THERE!!! NOW!!!

*The ship quickly rushed over to the fight and when it was only a few feet away, Captain Caviar jumped, grabbed a rope, and swung to the pirate ship. He landed a kick on one of the pirates. This led to a 1-v-10 fight which he was able to keep on his own.*

Black Pearl: Watch out!!

*Before Captain Caviar could understand what she met, he felt a stinging and wet pain on his back. He fell to his knees and could hear the pirate captain laughing.*

Pirate Captain: Should have thought twice about joining this fight. Now you die in...this...sea...

*Captain Caviar didn't notice it but Black Pearl's face was twisted with anger. She swung her trident, causing a riptide. This caused the pirate ship to rip apart. Captain Caviar nearly fell into the sea but Black Pearl caught him before he could. His blood covered her hands as she yelled at him.*

Black Pearl: Cavi!! Don't close your eyes!! You can't die by that pirate's hands!! Please stay awake!!!

*When that didn't work, she quickly swim all the way to the shore of an island and started screaming for a healer. Thankfully, two scared cookies grabbed Captain Caviar away from Black Pearl and started healing him as fast as they could. Black Pearl shrunk down and kept a watchful eye.*

Black Pearl: *whispers and held his hand* Please...stay with me... *kisses his cheek*

[jaidenisasimp]

Guess who had a very bad day! :DD

Your right! I did ^^

What happend today:

•i was freezing in my parents car and i had to wait until i got home

•i got bit by my cat and the hole was deep and am having a really bad headache after that

•my sister told me to stop watching anime at night and i had to sleep earlt even though i was almost done with the episode :,)

•My hand still hurts alot after i got bit and i think am halucinating

(Did i spell it right? Idk anymore)

[jaidenisasimp]

Fax

If you can’t face your demons, fuck them. *sinful indulgence playing in a distance*

[jaidenisasimp]

Lol true Edna is very wise

This is why Edna said no capes

[jaidenisasimp]

Bro-am literally crying on the floor rn😭😭

So Long Nerd

Requests are CLOSED

Reader: GN - They/Them

You vision was foggy as clouds surrounded you in the mistery place you were in

In an attempt to see where you were you trie to clear up the fog of clouds only for them to reveal a cliff facing a town

As the sun set, warm hues made their way onto the man sitting on the lonely bench

His eye catching pink hair and long cape quickly gave away who he was, making it difficult for you to hold in your tears

As you hiccuped away, memories flooding your head, the not so misterious man turned around and gave you a smile

"Come sit down... let's have a chat"

The comfort of his voice filled your ears as he patted the place on the bench near him

You sat down, still unable to stop your tears

Techno chuckled as he looked at you, sending you into a spiral of confusion

"What are you crying for? Little baby man"

He was mocking you, and you found it comforting...in a kind of weird way

You let your heart out to the man you've looked up too. All your frustration, sadness, grief...and more

Techno took it all in, a few comments thrown here and there that brought out giggles and laughs from you like he always did

As your sobs and tears died down you felt a hand on the top of your head, slowly ruffling your hair and ruining it in the process

"No more crying."

This was the first serious thing he said since you've been there...wherever you were

The hand of the piglin man was soon replaced by his crown and his cape was put onto your shoulders

"My journey might've ended, but not yours. I want you to live on...for the both of us. Live your life to the fullest and don't forget who brought you here"

Techno pulled you into a hug

You nodded, how could you ever forget those days and nights spent watching his videos and lives; all the lessons you've learned, all the laughs and jokes, you would cherish them forever cause they made you who you are today

"And also if you leave too, who'll continue my legacy? Or buy my awesome GGEZ merch??"

The chuckles bubbling up couldn't be stopped, he always knew how to cheer you up

Your arms immediately going around him, eyes closing to enjoy the moment and his warmness

"I'm proud of you"

As you open your eyes you found yourself in your room, a familiar pig plushie smiling at you from inbetween your arms

"So long nerd"

You could still hear him...that nerd you'll miss

But you did wonder if he had already taken over the heavens 🤭

[jaidenisasimp]

Am inlove with this

Obey me!Memes #156

Demon Queen out here...

D.Q:YOU SEE DIS SHIT!THIS IS LOVE!FUCK YE BARBIE MARRY THE HUMAN!I WANNA BE A COOL AUNT ALREADY!

D.K:....

[jaidenisasimp]

Dayum bro you have out done yourself👏👏

give in (wolf x gn! reader)

before u read: LOTS of flirting, 2nd person pov, wolf is thirsty and reader is dying from embarrassment, swearing (mostly from the reader), diane and snake are the best wingmen, slightly longer than i expected for this to me, steamy kissing sesh further in the fic

“gooood morning, beautiful.” you had to hold in your groan as you stepped out of your bedroom, being instantly greeted by wolf walking down the hallway towards the kitchen. “looking especially adorable this morning, i must say.”

you cringed (out of embarrassment? or just at how corny it was? who knows) as soon as he turned away. “does that mean i look ugly every other day?” trying your hardest to play it cool, you followed behind him as you walked through your apartment that you shared with four others.

wolf glanced back with a smile far too wide for it being ten in the morning. “not necessarily, you look adorable every day.”

this time, you groaned openly and shoulder checked him as you stormed into the kitchen. “god, shut up.” was all you said, wanting to die the longer he kept spewing these flirtatious things.

this, unfortunately, was a normal routine between you for the last few months. having been an old and trusty friend of diane, you had offered your roommate-less apartment for the now good guys to live at since their old one wasn’t in the best shape after a year in prison. and over the time the group of five had stayed with you, they had warmed up to your presence and for the most part, had considered you one of them.

Keep reading

[jaidenisasimp]

Undateables as a cats

Obey me brothers are here

Diavolo

Diavolo is a really friendly and nice cat.

He wants to be a friend with all animals.

And Diavolo really doesn’t understand the concept of others own space.

So he comes you and your guests arms whenever he wants.

Bed stealer number three is here.

Diavolo is also a very big meme.

You once wore your cat a princess dress and put a picture on the internet.

The picture became a really popular meme.

Because of this, the cat Lucifer looked at you really condemning for many weeks.

But that doesn't seem to bother Diavolo.

Diavolo loves when you scratch him behind his ear.

By the way, Diavolo is a really big cat.

So when he decides to sit on your lap you really can’t leave until he lets you down.

You have to keep him away from the cat Belphie.

Diavolo easily gets bad influences.

Barbatos

Barbatos will appear to you when you least expect it.

He is a really quiet and unobtrusive cat.

Suddenly he is next to you and when you blink your eyes he is on the other side of the room.

You are 100% sure this cat has its own timeline.

Barbatos also helps you find things.

Whenever you have something missing Barbatos will bring it to you.

He also likes to drink his water from a teacup-shaped bowl.

Barbatos really likes that bowl.

He is not a very avid outdoor enthusiast.

So Barbatos goes out with you but prefers to lie on your lap and want caresses.

This cat likes ironing but if you stroke too long he will just walk away.

Barbatos is also really accurate about his fur.

He won't like it if you mess it up.

Simeon

This cat would be really interested in your phone.

He usually wants to explore it and play with it.

If your phone is lost you just need to find Simeon.

Once, he actually got your security code unlocked.

You had to explain to people why you had sent them messages that read wieveorböwhekskskksksksbeifbdbkeiffjf

Otherwise, Simeon is a really kind and friendly cat.

He loves hugs and strokes.

Simeon is also really interested in television.

Usually when you watch a nature program, Simeon tries to grab the animals in the program with his paws.

It's really cute.

You once shot a video of it on the internet and so Simeon became popular.

Solomon

Solomon also likes cooking when he’s a cat.

Usually he drips ingredients into your food when you look away.

So don’t be surprised if there is a sudden dead bird in your water glass and there is grass on your bread.

Solomon also looks sad every time you don’t eat the “food” he makes.

Solomon also does this when you have guests.

No one really dares to eat in your house anymore.

Solomon also hides your stuff.

He is a really mischievous cat.

He also usually wakes you up at night just because he can do that.

Solomon likes it if you play with him.

He has a lot of cat toys and feels like he could play with you 24/7.

Luke

This is Luke as cat.

He is very good cat.

As a cat (no I’m not going to stop this joke) Luke is social and happy.

Luke also follows you almost everywhere.

He usually growls hisses at people who are bothering you.

It’s certainly clear that Luke doesn’t like cat brothers.

Luke tries to avoid them whenever possible.

Luke really likes the outdoors.

He is the most active dog cat you have ever seen.

He runs around and likes to chase different things.

Sometimes Luke brings random sticks inside his mouth and hides them in different places.

He is a completely normal cat.

[jaidenisasimp]

Yup am totally rebloging this it could help my siblings and cousins i dont go outside that much because i have nothing to do outside