janes-truth - Tumblr blog

[janes-truth]

There no more room for me here…

I realized there is no room for me here you brought him in and pushed me out you couldn’t wait he was more important than me my pain was never seen you just pushed it out like you are doing with me

[janes-truth]

You don’t understand you will never understand I don’t want to have to tell you WHY it’s not fair or why I am hurt why can’t you understand my pain is it not obvious do I have to plead for your sympathy

[janes-truth]

… and I found out you were still living your life, perhaps better than before. And it’s not fair. Why didn’t your life break into a million pieces. Why didn’t you suffer. Why did I have to leave when it was all your mistakes. Why didn’t you scream and cry in the car after work. Why didn’t you suffer. Why do I have to suffer because of what you did.

[janes-truth]

A poem I wrote in 2020 called: Me and god are not the same

I was a child and it rained

I said look god is crying

The adults around me said no god never cry’s

I now see how sad that is

He created a world that has corrupted itself so much that our only redemption was for him to send his son to earth just for us to murder him

A world where children are raped beaten and killed every day

A world where parents starve themselves just so they can let their children eat

A world where someone’s words can cause someone to end their story

A world where people’s addiction consume them but instead of helping them we lock them up

A world where one mistake can cost you everything

A world where we throw people to the streets cause they can’t make enough to support themselves

A world where we murder each other cause of who someone loves what their skin color is their gender how they choose to express themselves

Where people will take their own lives rather than live another day in this hell

And you are going to tell me god has never shed a single tear

Me and god are not the same

[janes-truth]

I want to write down every thought I have and hold it in my hands say it’s important and matters that no matter how silly or dumb it feels it’s good and has value

Perhaps I just wanted someone to do that for me

[janes-truth]

I want to cry so hard I gag and throw up maybe then the universe will see my suffering and let me restart

[janes-truth]

The only thing that makes me cry these days are those stupid tiktok slide shows. Yet I long for them to put my thoughts into words to make me feel less alone. It’s a good hurt.

[janes-truth]

It’s 3am and all I think about is you, what you did to me, how you hurt me, the trips we went on, the fun we had

Why can’t I hate you?

[janes-truth]

I see that picture of myself. When I was young. Happy. Clueless. Blissfully ignorant.

I wish I could be her

Yet I feel so distant from her

[janes-truth]

How am I supposed to get better when the past is chained to me… it’s drags it weight with me every where

[janes-truth]

I want to be back in that kitchen, where you feed us fruits.

But I can’t forget what you’ve done