jaycenxaligway - Tumblr blog

[jaycenxaligway]

blanket

[jaycenxaligway]

felt cute lmao

[jaycenxaligway]

how you dare?

[jaycenxaligway]

19 26

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?

Haven't tried both, but sex in the bath! Tagal na namin pinaplan pls pero ang mahal ng hotel HAHA

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

Kissing lol especially on the neck grr

[jaycenxaligway]

It's been so long.

I am only here because I need to let this out. I don't have anyone to share it right now and it's screaming to get out of my system.

I just read an essay from someone so important to my life and I am an emotional wreck. Wreck may be an overstatement, I really can't explain it but I felt a lot. A lot, all at the same time.

She wrote about her life starting when she was nine and careless. Reading about her heartbreaks makes me want to hug the seventeen year old version of her who just had her first heartbreak, who had to drown herself in alcohol, and who does not believe in herself. I felt pain. Pain for she does not deserve to feel that way.

And then on her 18th birthday, she learned to believe in herself and to be happy again. She fell in love. The way she wrote about that night was very magical. I felt jealous. I wish I was that guy she kissed under the moonlight, feeling so naked as our lips and tongues touched but with clothes on. I wish I was her first, as she was mine. It was the strongest feeling I felt.

And then, I hated myself for being jealous.

I wanted to tell her I love her after reading it. I wanted to make her feel the love I have to give. I wanted to love her even more.

I tried reading it again. But I can't finish it. I can't read about her heartbreaks again. I can't read about how her family almost broke. I can't read about her first boyfriend. I just can't.

[jaycenxaligway]

[jaycenxaligway]

[jaycenxaligway]

yesterday was so tiring

[jaycenxaligway]

8:34 P.M.

I love it when you wear my clothes.

[jaycenxaligway]

8:35 P.M.

Tonight's craving is physical touch and affection from another person. I'm longing for someone to hug while laying on my bed. Someone's neck to kiss. Someone's hair to caress and to smell.

Laying here alone feels so lonely.

[jaycenxaligway]

[jaycenxaligway]

1:21 P.M.

I'm craving for a specific person's time and attention. This is bad. Really bad.

[jaycenxaligway]

It was negative.

After my first sex, we had a pregnancy scare because I did not use a condom. (Well, we did but we removed it 'cause it's not pleasurable lmao) Although I did not come inside her, it still made me paranoid.

Almost three weeks after, we bought pregnancy test kits so we could clear our minds. And yes, I'm not gonna be a father yet. Thank you for having a negative result. I'm not ready for that kind of mature role yet.

So here's a reminder: practice safe sex!

[jaycenxaligway]

10:11 P.M.

I love it when people run their fingers through my hair and play with it.

[jaycenxaligway]

just finished a take home exam for my philosophy class, dabs for due today, do today

[jaycenxaligway]

11:01 P.M.

I feel so lonely. And empty. And longing for a good conversation with another person, but I don't want to message people just to bother them.

[jaycenxaligway]

8:19 A.M.

Yesterday, I spent the whole day with the girl who took my virginity. We jogged in the morning and ate breakfast at a carinderia. I had a meeting and she was on the other table watching her anime. I introduced her to Sense8 (aka the best series ever) and we had a late lunch at Bonchon where I treated her bingsu so that we could eat there. She originally wanted to go to Jollibee but I refused because #BoycottJollibee for refusing to regularize their contractual workers. We strolled in UPTC afterwards.

We get to do these things because we are just friends who happened to have sex. And all I think about now is that I want to have sex with this girl again.