jayjtheunsuspiciousmelodicathem

[jayjtheunsuspiciousmelodicathem]

[jayjtheunsuspiciousmelodicathem]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

In this letter, I’ll answer some common questions you may have before your very first gynecologist appointment: 

„What‘s the typical age for your first appointment?“ 

The guidelines can be a bit different depending on where you live, but usually it’s between 13 to 16 years old - around the time of your first period. That’s usually a good age because that’s when questions around menstruation, puberty, sex, contraception etc. may pop up. At this age, you may also not be sexually active yet and it’s ideal to get the HPV vaccine (can prevent certain cancers) before you become sexually active, so it’s good to time the exam like that. 

But you can go earlier if you have any specific questions or concerns you want to address! And doctors are also used to having patients who have their first appointment in their twenties (for example if your parents didn’t let you go). They won’t judge you! 

Preventative cancer screens, like pap smears (where they check for cancer cells) or breast exams (where they check for knots), may only be performed (or covered by insurance) after a minimum age (like 20 years old) but you can go before that for everything else! 

„Do I need to go if I don’t have any symptoms I worry about?“ 

Gynecological appointments are largely preventative - meaning you don’t go because you’re sick or worried about anything specific, but you go just to make sure everything is okay (so they can catch it early if anything isn’t okay!). Especially on the first visit, there’s also an educational aspect where they’ll just answer questions and explain things if needed. On later visits, a big part will also be routine cancer screens. This helps to give you peace of mind (if everything is good, as it usually will be) or catch and treat cancer before you even notice any symptoms. 

„What should I expect to happen? What are the typical topics we will talk about and which exams will they do?“ 

There’s usually two parts. During the first part, you’ll just talk. They’ll ask about your medical history, your family history (did any close relatives have cancer etc.), your period, sexual activity, vaccination status and similar topics. If you have any specific symptoms, concerns or questions, you can bring them up here. 

The second part will be an exam. There may be a general physical exam (like measuring your blood pressure, taking an urine sample, weighing you etc.). There may also be an external genital exam. This just means you sit down in a special chair with your legs spread and the doctor will check the outside part of your genitalia. 

If you’re young, not sexually active and have no symptoms, they often skip an internal exam on the first appointment. If they do one, they will use a special instrument (speculum) to look inside your vagina. They may also insert a gloved finger inside your vagina while putting the other hand on your belly. That may feel a bit weird or uncomfortable but it helps them check your internal organs. 

„Will it hurt?“ 

It can feel uncomfortable but it shouldn’t be painful. If it is, you have every right to speak up. 

If you’re worried about pain, it can help to ask them to explain everything beforehand. It’s okay to openly tell them you’re scared, they’re used to that. You can also tell them during the exam if you need a break. A good doctor will be understanding and not judgmental. 

„Can I bring someone for support?“ 

This is also something doctors are used to! Many people, especially young ones, feel more comfortable bringing an emotional support person. This can be a parent, friend or partner. Decide beforehand if you want them to wait in the waiting room, join you for the talking part or stay all the way during the exams. Note that some doctors may ask them to leave the room during internal exams (with your privacy in mind). 

If you’re worried, it can help to notify the staff beforehand that you bring a support person and want them with you during the exam. 

„Do I have to disclose if I’m sexually active?“ 

It’s usually best to be honest with your doctor. That’s because it influences which exams or tests might be important (e.g. STI testing, HPV vaccination advice, Pap smear later on). Note that they only ask these questions to give you the best care. For example, if they ask if you have frequently changing partners, they don’t ask that to slut-shame you but because of STD risks etc. But you never have to answer anything you don’t feel comfortable with - you’re in control of how much you share. Know that they usually only need a yes/no. You don’t need to give an exact body count etc. 

„What should I wear or bring with me?“

There are no specific rules regarding clothing. But it’s always a good idea to wear something comfortable you can easily take off (since you need to undress for the physical exams). 

Bring your insurance card and a list of all medications you take (if any). It can also help to bring a list of questions, if you’re worried that you may forget to ask them in the nervousness of the situation. If you don’t know your family’s history, it can also help to ask around before and write it down (cases of breast cancer, ovarian cancer etc. in your close family). 

„Do I need to shave?“ 

Only if you want to! Gynecologists truly don’t care whether you shave, trim, or keep your body hair natural. It makes zero difference for the exam - do whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

„What if I’m on my period on the day of the appointment?“ 

For most exams, that’s not an issue. Doctors are used to that and they wear gloves anyway. However, it could mess with the results of a Pap smear, so your doctor may reschedule that if they planned to do one. 

That being said, it’s fully valid if YOU feel uncomfortable going while on your period! Just give them a call and reschedule, they’re used to that too. 

„How can I feel more comfortable if I have trauma or body dysphoria?“ 

That’s a more common concern than you may think. You’re certainly not alone. There’s no blanket rule as it’s something so personal, but some things that can help are:  

look up if there are doctors near you who specialize in trauma-informed care  or treating transgender patients 

tell them beforehand (you don’t need to share details if you don’t want to, you can just tell them you’re scared or that certain topics/exams may be triggering to you). 

you can specifically request a doctor of a certain gender if you know you’ll feel more comfortable then

as said above, you can ask them to explain every step! This alone can already take a lot of fear away for many people 

a very basic tip but of course it can also help to practice grounding techniques like deep breathing or mental distracting exercises (silently counting all colors in the room, making a list of all animals you can think of etc.) during the exam 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[jayjtheunsuspiciousmelodicathem]

fun fact about languages: a linguist who was studying aboriginal languages of Australia finally managed to track down a native speaker of the Mbabaram language in the 60s for his research. they talked a bit and he started by asking for the Mbabaram word for basic nouns. They went back and forth before he asked for the word for “dog” The man replied “dog” They had a bit of a “who’s on first” moment before realizing that, by complete coincidence,  Mbabaram and English both have the exact same word for dog.

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THE IDEAS YOU RECEIVE FROM CHEESE CANNOT SAVE YOU

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new ice cream flavors:

in which blood is spilled

oil on canvas

the people's flavor

strawberry in repose

birthday clown

butter pecan: the reckoning

carboniferous crunch

burnt

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you think im petting you but actually i a,m takig you away

FOR THE LOVW OF GOD HELP ME

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"crime" for conservatives is basically just existing in public as a person of color

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little prince enjoys new threads and a new life

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I just saw a DNI for "evil intentions". nobody puts up a warding talisman anymore just a fucking DNI

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Its obvious to me when people who post about canaries in mines have never met a canary. Like yeah the miners had a special device to revive the canary because canaries are one of the most adorable creatures on the planet and they make adorable little chirping sounds and honestly probably loved the sounds of machinery and people talking so it was probably loud and friendly with the workers. Whatever though maybe meet a canary sometime and youd understand

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I think using archaic terms to get around censorship should be the norm. Calling rape ‘grape’ or using the grape emoji is ridiculous, if they’re not going to let us use the correct terminology, let’s go back to saying ‘outraged’. Calling murder ‘unaliving’ or ‘m-word’ is also fucking ridiculous. Let’s start using ‘slain’ again. They can’t ban ‘slay’ and ‘slayed’ because it is such a ubiquitous slang term that going back to the other meaning of the word would be a perfect way to skirt the censors.

[jayjtheunsuspiciousmelodicathem]

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