jcinkbabble

[jcinkbabble]

Yo Fox. Are you done now?

TW for self harm/suicide urges and alcoholism. If you can't handle that, please don't read.

There is a painful irony in making a blog like this, in order to call out the harassment campaigns harming people offline, only to be targeted by one myself. The past 24 hours have been pretty educational on just how people react to attempts to change things.

I think this ask perfectly exemplifies it. After a barrage of hate on Tattler, the messages in my inbox, and the asks I've gotten in less than 12 hours, I think making me "done" was the point.

But I am, yes, because after tonight, I need to put the people around me first.

I still believe in a space like this. I still believe in positivity, in change, in doing good. However, the result of just 12 hours was me almost breaking my sobriety. There are bottles of alcohol downstairs right now that I want, that would numb the pain of this. But I am almost 2 years sober, and I fought to stay this way, so I will. The result of the past 12 hours is me remembering where every knife is in this house, and knowing what I could do with them. But I swore off self harm years ago, so many I've lost track, and I won't break that now. And finally, the result of the last 12 hours is knowing exactly how many ways I could kill myself, so no one in this house would have the ability to save me.

To the people sending me threats, wishes of harm, and gleeful desires that I suffer... Y'all are just not okay, are you? I know that pain. I remember being on top of the world, the one doing the hurting, the accusations. It felt good. It made the pain I felt go away, but only when I won. So I had to keep "winning". Which, really translates to just hurting people. Over and over and over until everyone's scared of me, and I feel powerful.

Then I realized that's a shitty fucking high to chase, and all.

I know I made myself a target. I did this to myself. I have no problem accepting that. I'm stubborn, headstrong, and want to make a change for good. I believe honest discussion can make positive change. I still do believe that, but I'm not gonna sit here and continue to let myself and others be harmed for that change.

Yes, anon, I am done now. I know you feel proud of this. I know this is a victory for you. You never really understood that I was never unreachable. You saw me in IC. You knew me. You could have messaged me, talked to me. You could have approached me with your concerns, your frustrations, any response to anything I've said. You chose Tattler, then acted like you had no choice but to sling hate there and in my inbox. Like I made you do that.

But I can tell you right now, not a single one of you has ever approached me about the things said on Tattler tonight, or in my inbox. My first and only intro to the issues an anon stranger has with me, were hate. Hate vitriolic enough to put me on the phone with a crisis line, hate vitriolic to make someone who has endured quite a bit of trauma, flinch this hard. I'm pretty sturdy, but tonight reminded me of the power of hate. Of malice, of gleefully inflicting pain.

You didn't want anything but to drive me - someone you've never interacted with - off the internet and keep Tattler open. I hope you can admit it to yourself. And maybe ask why you chose that route.

I have people relying on me offline. As much as I love the idea of this blog, and want to change things, I can't put them on the backburner for it. And I can't risk my own mental health like this, because they rely on me. Like I told someone else recently, don't stick your hand on the hot stove. You know you're just going to be burned. It's not worth it.

Maybe this blog will make a comeback. Maybe not. Who knows? Maybe some of y'all will make your own, and do a hell of a lot better than I ever did. But if you wanted to make me ashamed, scared, and small, I'm sorry. You failed.

I'm not ashamed. I'm not afraid of you. And if you want to talk to me, I'm right here. Fox Lokison, friends. Come have a chat. I'll still be around, chatting about things. But you'll have to come off anon to actually reach me.

I've posted the last of the positive asks so y'all can reblog and interact with them, because I feel like they're discussions worth having. The people coming here to do good should get their chance at being heard. Turning off anon asks now, though. For all the decent asks, there's multiple bad ones.

To Tattler - your blog has hurt a lot of people. And while I know some of your followers think it's deserved, tonight I almost took my life over the crime of opening a blog criticizing your blog, because of the hate you allowed on your platform, and the people coming from it, into my inbox. I do wonder what crime would have deserved that end. I wonder what you'll do if your blog does push someone past the threshold.

Let's hope none of us find out.

[jcinkbabble]

Why does no one ever put a slot for height in character profiles?!?!?!?!

~

[jcinkbabble]

Hey Babs! What's your favorite setting to write in? What setting do you think is overused?

~

[jcinkbabble]

Hey Babs! I think this blog is a really good idea. Don't let the haters get you down. We need a space to safely discuss differences of opinion or really just a place to learn. Thanks for trying to make it!

~

[jcinkbabble]

if you have an ip logger then you should know who i am and the couple messages i did send. message me on discord if you actually want to discuss it.

I'm afraid I don't have one? I'm not sure how that rumor started, but I wouldn't know where to begin making one. And, I have to ask, if I did have one, how would having your IP tell me your Discord? Maybe I'm clueless, but I don't think IP loggers work like that.

At any rate, if you're wanting to DM me on Discord, I'm in IC if you are. I have messages from mutual servers on. You clearly know me, so... DM me? I guess? Not sure why you haven't, if you know me?

[jcinkbabble]

So I will assume all 5 asks sitting in my inbox right now, including this one, are you? I think you and I both know why I've chosen not to publish them. If you want your hate pushed through, I'm not the blog for you.

Put in an ask that's an actual discussion, not you frothing at the mouth. We'll talk then.

jcink babble was made to be manipulative. i sent quite a few messages that they never responded to. they are curating this to deceive you. keep that in mind.

.

[jcinkbabble]

to the "consequences of your own actions" person: i have a question for you when someone does something wrong, they mistreat someone, they hurt someone, etc. why is it then the response to go and air out that drama publicly for everyone to see? all the things that were posted on tattler, including the sasha situation, were truly not things that needed to be public rpc knowledge. people's interpersonal conflicts, who people like/don't like, etc are not everyone's business. shaming people publicly is still bullying even if they hurt you first, and if you truly want to be a bigger person, then don't facilitate the same hurt onto someone that they put onto you. the old take "an eye for an eye make the whole world blind" is true here for this situation, if someone hurt you, i am so sorry that you were hurt, but you are not owed public restitution for the hurt done upon you. the accountability falls on the person that hurt you to make it up to you in private, not in public. most people that rp in the jcink sphere are 21+, i'd say that the majority are 25+ to be honest, and we should be able to handle conflicts maturely. without gossip blogs, people will still get hurt and people will still gossip, but the hurt will not be widespread. no one owes anyone a public apology, my friends. you are not entitled to that, no matter how much mudslinging you have done. ignore the people that you don't like, don't have them in your spaces, don't join their sites. your experiences are not universal and even the world's biggest assholes have friends. you don't get to change that because you're salty.

I would be inclined to agree. There's a difference between resolution/closure, and punishment. Seeking to wound back because you were wounded isn't commendable. It's just revenge.

[jcinkbabble]

Admin Note: This was an anon submission. To quote their own words;

It is long past time that these anonymous blogs of hate and toxicity close their doors. The RPC needs to heal. At the end of the day, we are writers trying to enjoy ourselves through escapism. Stop the hate. Stop the entitlement. Stop seeking entertainment through the real suffering of others.

If you agree, send Tattler the poll that she asked for. Put in your say and tell Tattler that it is time to close her doors for good. That anonymous hate is not going to be tolerated any longer.

Below, I’ll be collecting screenshots of the discourse. If you wish to add yours, submit them below.

[jcinkbabble]

what were you called out on tattler for, that was that bad, to the point you did this? it seems a lot like you're just running from the consequences of your own actions. maybe try not being an asshole?

I wasn't. People I know were. Is it so astounding to you, that I possess empathy? But I would ask what about opening a blog, offering an alternative, and answering your questions makes you think I'm running.

I'm right here. You had no trouble finding me. And I've had no trouble posting under my own name on Tattler. You're the one on anon here, my friend.

[jcinkbabble]

Tattler has blocked the very people she told to come to her if they needed help, so those people will no longer know if they are being dragged to death unless they make another Tumblr account. Real classy of her.

What do you think about that, Babs?

I think that's concerning, and it explains why some of the likes and interactions are no longer showing up on some posts. Some comments I read have vanished as well. Not from newly formed alt accounts, either, so I doubt they were flagged by Tumblr as spam.

I'm not fully versed in how blocking, shadowbanning, and other things like that manifest on Tumblr, so I'd love to know more, but it's definitely alarming to see the comments that criticized Tattler suddenly vanishing from the replies.

Has anyone else had this experience?

[jcinkbabble]

[...] So basically once again this isn’t a black and white debate and people need to actually open up a dialogue with admins about it, because they’re probably just scared they’re gonna get mean anons in their inbox whatever they do. // speaking as someone who is usually an admin, this is why the rule exists: because we do not want to have this conversation over and over and over again with all sorts of weird edge cases. you have the one in one millionth person who asks for a reasonable allowance, but the other 999k requests are bizarre at best and offensive at worst, and it is too much arguing back and forth with people who often will take days' worth of your time just to leave if they don't get their way.

no offense to you or anything, but it's just one of those rules where the awful majority ruined it for the rational minority.

What sort of offensive requests are you coming across, anon? I don't think I've had any myself, so I'm curious.

[jcinkbabble]

Rules

Do not be a dick.

If you send an anon ask, it's up to my discretion if it gets posted. I'm not here to facilitate anon hate, I am here to facilitate questions, especially awkward ones you're scared to ask.

Mentions of any sites, other blogs, or people in a derogatory manner aren't gonna be posted either. Tattler and Burnbook exist.

Why have these rules if you proceed to 1) be a dick. 2)facilitate hate. 3)mention other blogs in a derogatory manner. The intent was good originally but now you're just a space to continue to facilitate hate and break all your own rules. Almost like you want to be the next Tattler if she does close down.

I would be lax in what I see as a personal responsibility, if I didn't talk about the harm I see another blog doing. I don't consider it facilitating hate to give a space to those hurt by Tattler and the like. If that turns you off me, that's fine.

I'm not interested in respectability politics. I'm not going to opt out of a conversation I think is important to have. I don't expect Tattler to platform people telling her to shut down. I'm also not going to platform people calling her names or attacking her, the person. Her actions, as well as the actions of those on her blog, should be scrutinized.

If that's hate by your definition, I don't think my blog is the right place for you. Victims are not going to be heard by the people facilitating their abuse - that doesn't mean I shouldn't platform their voices.

I've made no secret of my beliefs on Tattler, and the RPC in general. I want tea blogs either stopped, or for them to be responsible about what they post. I want better discourse spaces in the RPC. I want more resource spaces, more social spaces, more places for discussion and community, and less spaces for hate mobs.

The only way to successfully do that, and heal the RPC, is to stop the kind of hate Tattler is accelerating. And the only way to stop that, without doing gross shit like doxxing or threatening her, is to speak out against her blog and her choices with it.

I hope this clears up my perspective for you, anon.

[jcinkbabble]

As someone who has been thrown around on this blog for the last couple of weeks even though I wasn't even directly in the drama, I was a metaphorical side piece of on going drama between two people that i never asked to be in, nor knew this history of as I only met the two people a couple of months ago. I was dragged and marked as an accomplice though I did not actually do anything other than meet people and start writing as we all do. People have gone on and on about avoiding me or not writing with me and basically calling me a terrible person without actually having ever talking to or interacted with me. If I was a weaker person mentally and emotionally that could tear me up. I'm strong enough to just walk away from something I have loved for years. I have been around since the invisionfree days when these type of blogs didn't exist without any drama or people hating me whom I've never interacted with. I've been dedicated to sites and been an admin, I've never had to hide who I was to RP because a gossip blog decided off of a one sided story that they knew the truth about the kind of person I am. Places like this are toxic and while can be started with the best of intentions, not everyone uses them in that manner. People hide behind anon to spread hate because they "think its funny" or "they're bored" and have openly admitted to fueling the fires forgetting there are real people behind these names they drag around. Once the dog pile happens its like a wild fire and you just see post after post after post of people judging your name and not your character. Of people commenting on who you are without knowing you. The court of public opinion is ruthless. this is supposed to be a hobby and a creative outlet, of course not everyone is going to get along, but people take everything said on Tattler as bible rather than make their own opinions and realize not everything said on here is done with the best of intentions and with a queue things are posted for weeks and then piled on again and again and it feels like it never ends. Honestly closing these kinds of places would be in the RPC's best interest, but we all know yall like the popularity of it more than what it actually represents.

.

[jcinkbabble]

Dear RPC: what do you think of Tattler trying to play Mother Hen to the community she’s abused?

[jcinkbabble]

you say you blocked tattler but then reblog a post from it… you say you need to spend $30 to block the site… this is a you problem

I blocked it in the past. It didn't stop the harassment from it, from reaching me, my friends, or people around me. So I unblocked it to say that. And I agree, it's alarming I had to spend money to block a site because Tumblr's own block methods are ineffective, and Tattler herself won't stem the tide of hate.

[jcinkbabble]

I think the issue is most admins are scared of people kicking off so they have to blanket the age rule. When really the real fair thing to do is somewhere in the middle? For example say someone plays Reese Witherspoon and decides to have the muse be 20, I would find this frustrating because she’s not exactly old at 47 and would still make a wonderful muse! To me playing her not at the age she is just seems like you’re saying something about older muses. BUT then I totally understand there are muses like Alison Hannigan who primarily has resources young from Buffy so it would be weird to play her at 49 cause there’s no congruency between the muse and the gifs. So basically once again this isn’t a black and white debate and people need to actually open up a dialogue with admins about it, because they’re probably just scared they’re gonna get mean anons in their inbox whatever they do.

~

[jcinkbabble]

Since I've lost faith that Tattler will post anything challenging her narrative, I'll also reblog this here.

Tattler, if you need to put out a message saying "if my blog hurt you, you can message me", you need to reconsider your blog. I did block your blog, but that didn't stop the impact of what you've allowed on it. It didn't stop others from spreading lies, distorting what did happen, and trying to set a community on their personal enemies.

I only recently entered Jcink, but I now know more people harmed by your blog, than people not, all of whom I met through the simple act of RPing. People chased off sites before they got started because they're Tattler-Proclaimed "Bad People", people harassed because of rumors you spread on this blog, with no care about the impact.

Some folks might say it's not on Tattler, it's on us, but the reality? It's on all of us. Yes, it's on us, but it's also on you. The moment you opened and hosted this space, you made it possible for hate to have a platform. "This blog should never be impacting your mental health" is a ridiculous statement while you platform hate without any sort of restrictions or checks.

You can never safely reveal who you are. You've created a space of such hate, such vitriol, such pain, that the moment you out yourself, you'll be the target of the machine you made. You, Tattler, are the one person on this entire blog who gets the benefits of anonymity all the time. You control whether you are identified. Whether you are a target. You have complete and utter control. So please, don't talk to us like you're one of us. You have no skin in the game you started.

If you truly, genuinely want the harm to stop, shut this blog down. What on earth makes you think this space is a net good? The amount of people I've sat with through panic attacks, self harm thoughts, and crises because of hate spread on this blog should tell you what you've created. A machine of pain and punishment.

You've given abusers whose victims have escaped them, a way to reach them again. And not just reach them, but continue to harm them.

You've not created a machine of good discourse or conversation. You have given a platform and voice to the worst impulses we all have, and you're going to continue to enable it. You're going to keep causing pain and hurt so long as people keep submitting it. You're not worth talking to. And bluntly, I hope this blog changes, or burns to the ground, because holy fuck is this a trashfire of abusers who love the power they have over their victims.

Anyone looking to block Tattler - because clearly she won't stop the destructive machine - I suggest BlockSite if you're on Chrome. It has a paid mobile version, and the 30-odd bucks I paid to own it for a year is worth it for my mental health, and the mental health of those around me. I wish y'all the best. And as one of the positive anons who tried to turn things around, I'm sorry I couldn't, but I'll be over here on jcinkbabble trying to spread some good where I can.

It has come to my attention that some of you don't know that my messages are open. Not asks or submissions but messages. I have had many conversations in my private messages ranging from who I am to demands to attempted doxxing to mental health. If your alias is a constant on my blog and you need a mental health break I encourage you to message me. I understand some of you are hesitant to have a conversation with me but if you are unable to block my blog this is another solution for you. Through the duration of Tattler I have never released screenshots of my private messages or any information discussed within them. Many of you can attest to that. Tattler is about the rpc and while sometimes things outside of the rpc get brought into it, this blog should never be impacting your real life mental health. If it does, block me. If you can't block, message me.