jeffthekller

[jeffthekller]

ALL AI GENERATED VLUHH

Don't report dawg, just block🙏

IT AIN'T THAT HARD TO CLICK THE BLOCK BUTTON💔💔

Quick post, had to update y'all on my upgrade in SH ☝️

I mainly did styros/baby 🫘

Had to stop though, I got THROWN into forced recovery 🙏🙏🙏

👅

[jeffthekller]

[jeffthekller]

Guys I was right, it DID change. A lot.

I miss the feeling of blood dripping down my arm, now I'm too much of a pussy to cvt that deep. That will change soon(⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

[jeffthekller]

I hate when people take away bandaids when they find out about your self harm, like how does that help???? The whole point of trying to get someone to stop self harming is that it isn’t safe, and since taking bandaids away isn’t stopping them that just makes everything even more unsafe. Some ppl are dumb

[jeffthekller]

Looking back at everything, I'm starting to notice how much I destroyed myself.

But at least I had a progression of $H.

[small update]

I'm getting deep styros/baby beans now, got new blades but that mf is NOT sharp at all tf💔💔💔

I got bandaids but they weren't enough. I gotta save up money or st3@l again. Shucks but oh well, I have enough money for bandaids but I want a new pencil sharpener too, so I have to save up.

[jeffthekller]

How I feel after telling the nice doctor that I won't try to t@k3 my l!fe once I get home, only to start planning it and thinking about how I want my grave to look like (I'm gonna do the bye bye letters soon)

Fuck y'all mfs🤑 (no not my mooties, just the ppl irl)

[jeffthekller]

TW: Mentioning of police, ambulances a lot of chaos and also other sensitive topics (I fucked up)

(I'm a yappatron too so like plz don't eat me alive)

Basically, I went to a psychologist and then some weeks later I got another psychologist to come to my house n check how I act.

She asked a bunch of questions, and then went on the more sensitive questions.

"Do you, perhaps self-harm?"

I didn't hesitate, no. I instantly said Yes. I knew my mom was about to break most probably

"Okay, do you have su!cidal thoughts?" YESS BITCH YESSSSSSSSS???

"Do you want to live?" Nah 😛

So that's how it went, my mom cried, hugged me so hard. I did cry too but, it wasn't really sincere. I told her that I didn't mean to worry her, blah blah blah.

And don't call me selfish, but spoiler alert. I did nawt, and I still do nawt gaf. So the psychologist called 112, since I was basically at risk of k!lling myself anytime from now on. (I was literally planning to)

A police n ambulance came, had to take off my pants for a min for them to check the injuries and also I needed to show my arm. So I did, he told me it was cat starches and a little bit deeper ones on my thighs. Like okay ho what the fuck, u really aware that now I feel unvalidated? Those were styro, HEALING STYROS. Hate that mf.

Anyway, I had a trip to the hospital and it was kinda fun. Rode in an ambulance for the first time EVUH. Worth it.

A doctor asked me a bunch of questions, then my mom and I ended up coming back home with a little bit of recommendations (For my fam to talk w me a lot) (I don't want that, that makes me uncomfortable) (that also means I'm not destroyed enough so I'ma continue doing what I'm doing)

My whole family knows now, That I wanted to k!LL myself and that I cvt! My father joked that he won't give me any pencil sharpeners anymore. (stfu b!tch)

Anyway, I didn't drop my plan, and I won't stop destroying myself until I get hospitalized 😛

Note, kids don't try starting to cvt yourself or else you'll end up like me💔💔💔 (basically f#cked up)

(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

[jeffthekller]

Damn I was edgy as fuck💔

Please someone help me.

(TW SUI mention, SA, sh mention, h0mocidal thoughts blah blah)

Don't like don't read.

I'm getting sick and tired of this bullshit. It's a cycle. I quit. I'm going back. I get worse. I get happier. I quit. I get worse. I go back to sh again.

I don't hate SH, I love sh.

I even had a dream about it. And the bl00d is used for my art, to make it special.

But. Something is wrong. Something is VERY very wrong. Something inside of me is wrong. It's out of the ordinary. It's my brain.

As some people know I have an obsession with creepypasta, and Jeff the killer. I even kin Jeff the killer because I feel like he's a part of me.

But two days ago, it was dark, because it was obviously night. I get a strange feeling, of being watched. I turn around

There's nothing.

There's no one.

But my brain still thinks that something is wrong. "He's here." But who?

"HIM."

Hallucinations.

"HE'S A PART OF US."

stop.

"HE'S LIKE US."

no.

"YOU CAN'T DENY IT."

I hate you.

"K!LL THEM."

WHO?

"YOUR FAMILY. THEY HURT US. THEY HURTED YOU."

STOP FUCKING STOP I HATE MY BRAIN WHY DOES IT WORK LIKE THIS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I keep having those fucking thoughts.

Because, c'mon! The kn!fe is just over here. You can grab it. The pain that they cause you will stop, won't it?

But I won't bear to do it. They're my family, there's not only bad moments. There's also sweet moments, but it would be cool if I could remember those moments.

I'm too young for that. I'm too young for this pain.

My brain makes them look like demons.

Like they're just some creeps.

They are.

Stop touching me.

No. I won't show you my parts.

I was 5, you were 6.

You were my brother.

No. Stop touching me.

Stop grinding against me.

I was 7-9.

You were 14-15.

You were my sister.

Stop making those jokes.

Male friends.

Dad.

Everyone hurts me.

Stop hurting me.

-

I'm so tired. I want to sleep.

I thought that maybe this pink jumping rope would help me with sleep.

no. First time.

It was stupid, why did I do that. I should burn that note that I wrote with my Elsa pen.

-

Ah, things are going down now...I can't bear it anymore. Maybe a belt?

Second time.

Stupid.

-

I know! P!lls?

I'm scared.

Third time.

-

Please, again pills? Just one more?

Fourth time.

-

I'm gonna take the pills again.

Please for god's sake, God if you hear me please just let me die.

Fifth time.

-

Pills.

Sixth time.

-

Pills. Oh shit...I feel weak. My eyes are heavy.

Seventh time.

-

Bandage? I'm just gonna tie it-

The eighth time.

-

Pills?

Ninth time.

-

Pills..

Tenth time.

-

Belt?

Eleventh time.

-

Pills, this time a lot more!

9 pills.

I feel dizzy. It feels good. I can't feel anything at all beside this funny feeling...

Twelve times.

-

Pills again? Nine still! I don't have any more left than those nine.

Thirteen times.

I'm still here. Why.

13 times.

I'm still here.

[my drawing with my bl00d as the background]

It was like in the middle of the night, don't judge.

[jeffthekller]

How I looked like that one night when I heard my oldest sibling cry:

(he found em SH pics after I told him I stopped. I never stopped I just got worse)

Sorry man, I never meant to be a disappointment.

[jeffthekller]

Real

something i made 😛

[jeffthekller]

Please someone help me.

(TW SUI mention, SA, sh mention, h0mocidal thoughts blah blah)

Don't like don't read.

I'm getting sick and tired of this bullshit. It's a cycle. I quit. I'm going back. I get worse. I get happier. I quit. I get worse. I go back to sh again.

I don't hate SH, I love sh.

I even had a dream about it. And the bl00d is used for my art, to make it special.

But. Something is wrong. Something is VERY very wrong. Something inside of me is wrong. It's out of the ordinary. It's my brain.

As some people know I have an obsession with creepypasta, and Jeff the killer. I even kin Jeff the killer because I feel like he's a part of me.

But two days ago, it was dark, because it was obviously night. I get a strange feeling, of being watched. I turn around

There's nothing.

There's no one.

But my brain still thinks that something is wrong. "He's here." But who?

"HIM."

Hallucinations.

"HE'S A PART OF US."

stop.

"HE'S LIKE US."

no.

"YOU CAN'T DENY IT."

I hate you.

"K!LL THEM."

WHO?

"YOUR FAMILY. THEY HURT US. THEY HURTED YOU."

STOP FUCKING STOP I HATE MY BRAIN WHY DOES IT WORK LIKE THIS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I keep having those fucking thoughts.

Because, c'mon! The kn!fe is just over here. You can grab it. The pain that they cause you will stop, won't it?

But I won't bear to do it. They're my family, there's not only bad moments. There's also sweet moments, but it would be cool if I could remember those moments.

I'm too young for that. I'm too young for this pain.

My brain makes them look like demons.

Like they're just some creeps.

They are.

Stop touching me.

No. I won't show you my parts.

I was 5, you were 6.

You were my brother.

No. Stop touching me.

Stop grinding against me.

I was 7-9.

You were 14-15.

You were my sister.

Stop making those jokes.

Male friends.

Dad.

Everyone hurts me.

Stop hurting me.

-

I'm so tired. I want to sleep.

I thought that maybe this pink jumping rope would help me with sleep.

no. First time.

It was stupid, why did I do that. I should burn that note that I wrote with my Elsa pen.

-

Ah, things are going down now...I can't bear it anymore. Maybe a belt?

Second time.

Stupid.

-

I know! P!lls?

I'm scared.

Third time.

-

Please, again pills? Just one more?

Fourth time.

-

I'm gonna take the pills again.

Please for god's sake, God if you hear me please just let me die.

Fifth time.

-

Pills.

Sixth time.

-

Pills. Oh shit...I feel weak. My eyes are heavy.

Seventh time.

-

Bandage? I'm just gonna tie it-

The eighth time.

-

Pills?

Ninth time.

-

Pills..

Tenth time.

-

Belt?

Eleventh time.

-

Pills, this time a lot more!

9 pills.

I feel dizzy. It feels good. I can't feel anything at all beside this funny feeling...

Twelve times.

-

Pills again? Nine still! I don't have any more left than those nine.

Thirteen times.

I'm still here. Why.

13 times.

I'm still here.

[my drawing with my bl00d as the background]

It was like in the middle of the night, don't judge.

[jeffthekller]

Haiii :>> can we be moots again?? (Was weve-become-monsters)

SURE NP!!!

[jeffthekller]

I aM NOT sane!

TW: Yap yap sensitive topics n words wtv.

🩸

„You need professional help."

no, miss. You're wrong. I need someone to tell me that they love me while they're craving words full of hate into my thighs.

I NEED. TO. BE. HURT. Who am I without these lines on my thighs and arms? That's right, I'm nothing.

I am not sane. I have not been sane since I was 11 years old. That's when I got hella fucked up.

But now? I'm on the edge I fear, because I don't think that craving "GO TO SLEEP" and other words into my thighs is a sane action.

I don't think that trying to crave a forever smile Is a sane action.

I was BORN to be fucked up. Because from the very fucking beginning, I wasn't even wanted. I wasn't supposed to be here.

My mother? She wanted to give me away, and it almost succeeded, if not my shitty father.

"Shouldn't you be happy?" FOR FUCK'S SAKE HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC. HE'S LIKE 80% OF MY TRAUMA. HE'S THE ONE I WAS SCARED OF. HE'S THE ONE THAT CAUSED ME TO START SELF H@RM. IF HE EVER DIES I'M GONNA LAUGH AT HIS GRAVE.

I HATE. AND I WAS BORN TO HATE. I HATE HIM AND THE REST OF MY SO CALLED HAPPY FAMILY.

YOU DON'T GET HOW MAD DEEP DOWN I WAS WHEN MY TEACHER TOLD ME THAT MY FAMILY IS FULL OF LOVE.

She didn't see him throwing plates. She didn't see him trying to ch0ke my mother, not only my mother but also my sister. She didn't hear the words. She didn't hear the yells. She didn't hear ANYTHING. NOTHING.

So, she has no right to speak.

He makes me want to d!e.

I hope. He d!es.

I hate you, and I forever will.

[jeffthekller]

How I look scrolling thru the same three apps and rotting in bed all day everyday

[jeffthekller]

[jeffthekller]

[TW: SUI/SH] / [CREDITS TO zxloftt for the idea!!]

Our friend, is short.

~

We always made fun of him for that,

~

But today. He was taller than all of us.

[jeffthekller]

HELLO!!!!! Another SH post! IT'S ALL SFX THO >:3

Sorry it's not a pretty post, it's hella rushed:(((

THAT'S ALL BAYSS!!!!