jellychee

[jellychee]

”i’ll be watching you.”

╰┈➤ sae itoshi x reader

╰┈➤ wc: 455

🎧: every breath you take - the police

He doesn’t cry.

You didn’t expect him to.

You’re standing at the edge of the train platform, hands stuffed into the sleeves of your jacket, trying to memorize the way the light hits his hair, the way his mouth pulls into that emotionless line he always wears when he’s trying not to feel too much.

You knew this day was coming.

He’d told you months ago.

Spain. An academy. The next step.

He was going to be great, he was great.

But no one tells you how much it hurts to love someone who was always meant to leave.

Sae stands in front of you, duffel slung over his shoulder, posture too calm for something that feels like an ending.

You manage to keep your voice steady.

“So that’s it?”

He blinks slowly, unreadable.

“I have to do this.”

You nod. Because what else is there to say?

You won’t beg. He’s already gone, just waiting for the train to catch up to him.

Still, your chest is tight. Your fingers twitch like they want to reach for him, hold him in place for just a little longer.

So instead, you say it. Quietly.

“I’ll be watching you.”

And for a moment, something flickers in his expression. Not enough to stop him. Not enough to stay. But enough to tell you that he heard it. That it means something.

The train arrives. He doesn’t hug you. You don’t ask him to.

And then he’s gone.

You go back to school.

Back to your part-time job.

Back to the same streets where you both used to walk home after practice.

And slowly, he becomes a headline.

A rising star.

A name that strangers know.

You see him on the news. On magazine covers. On the side of buses in cities you’ve never been to.

You watch him win. You watch him lose. You watch him become someone the whole world wants a piece of.

But you,

You’re still here.

In the town he left behind.

In the school you both once skipped together.

In the silence of your bedroom, eyes glued to the screen during every match he plays.

And every time he scores, you whisper it again.

I’m still watching you.

Even if he doesn’t look back.

Even if he forgot the sound of your voice.

Even if the distance between you now feels too wide to ever close.

You don’t stop.

Because love doesn’t always end when the person walks away.

Sometimes, it lingers, loyal and waiting.

So you let the world cheer for him.

You let the spotlight swallow him whole.

But in the corners of your life, in the silent, late nights and quiet, mundane mornings,

You’re still watching.

And you always will be.

a/n: I wrote this after I saw a Jo and Laurie edit to this song 😭😭

[jellychee]

”cause I don’t wanna be in love with another, even in another life”

╰┈➤ sae itoshi x reader

╰┈➤ wc: 401

🎧: heavy - the marias

You always told yourself you’d forget him. Eventually.

That time would dull the sharpness, soften the ache that settled in your chest every time his name came up in passing. On TV, in interviews, in the excited whispers of soccer fans around campus.

Sae Itoshi.

The genius. The prodigy.

Your first friend. Your first everything.

And still, somehow, the one you can never seem to stop missing.

It’s been years since you’ve spoken. Spain took him when you were thirteen, and it never gave him back. Not really.

There were a few texts, at first. Awkward check ins. Promises to visit. You stayed up some nights thinking about what you’d say when he came back. What you’d do when he stood in front of you again.

But the visits never happened.

The texts slowed. Then stopped.

And all you had left were memories that felt heavier the longer you carried them.

You tried, though. God, you tried.

You dated other people. Smiled at strangers. Let yourself fall into new rhythms, into soft hands and warm kisses and people who actually stayed.

But none of it ever felt right.

None of them ever felt like him.

Because no one knew you the way Sae did. Before the cameras, before the headlines, before he turned cold and brilliant and untouchable.

No one else remembers the boy who fell asleep on your shoulder during long bus rides. The one who would wait outside your house after school just to walk you home. The one who’d scowl when he was embarrassed but never moved away when you touched his hand.

You think about him more than you should, especially on nights like this. Quiet ones, where everything feels still and a little too honest.

You lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, the faint sound of rain tapping against your window. The city outside is asleep. And you wonder if he’s somewhere across the ocean, lying awake too.

You wonder if he ever thinks about you.

Because no matter how much time passes, how many people come and go,

You still love him.

Not the version of him everyone sees now.

But the boy who let you in before the world knew his name.

And maybe it’s foolish. Maybe it’s selfish. But deep down, you know it’s true.

You don’t want to be in love with anyone else.

Not even in another life.

a/n: I love the Marias.

[jellychee]

”i don’t wanna get undressed for a new person all over again.”

╰┈➤ rin itoshi x reader ╰┈➤ wc: 581

🎧: undressed - sombr

The restaurant is dim, tucked away between shuttered storefronts and rain-slicked streets. You wouldn’t have come here if you had anywhere else to be. If the buses were running, if your roommate answered her phone, if tonight didn’t feel like too much all at once.

You drop into a seat by the window, your soaked jacket clinging to your back, and order something cheap and hot. It’s nearly empty inside, just you and the low hum of the old TV bolted to the wall. You barely notice the match playing at first. But then his name cuts through the static in your brain like a sharp inhale.

Rin Itoshi.

Your eyes flick up.

There he is, on the screen. Hair damp with sweat, jaw clenched, eyes locked forward like he’s running toward something only he can see. The camera catches his face for a moment, those same eyes that used to look at you like they couldn’t decide whether to stay or run.

Your stomach knots. You shouldn’t be surprised. He’s always been running.

The food arrives, but you don’t touch it. You just sit there, watching the boy you used to love tear across a field like the world’s trying to catch him. And maybe it is. Maybe that’s why he never stayed.

You remember how quiet he was when you first met. Not cold. Not mean. Just guarded, like he didn’t want anyone too close. But you were persistent, showed up when he didn’t ask, smiled when he barely looked your way, peeled him back layer by layer.

He let you in.

And for a while, that meant something.

You think about the nights he’d sneak into your dorm, shoulders tense like he didn’t know how to be wanted. The way he’d lie next to you, eyes closed, but never quite asleep. Like even in the safest places, his mind was still at war with something.

You think about how he looked at you when you touched him. Not lust, not affection, but fear. Like being seen made him raw.

But you didn’t stop.

You kissed his bruises. You learned how to read his silences. You told yourself he just needed time. That you could love him into something whole.

He let you undress him, physically, emotionally, and you thought that meant he trusted you. That he loved you, even if he never said it out loud.

After he left, you tried to move on. You really did.

There were other people. Other hands. Other mouths. Other beds.

But none of them looked at you the way Rin did. None of them made you feel like every glance was a challenge, like every touch meant something more than just a night of pleasure.

None of them let you undress them the way he did. Not just skin, but soul.

And you never let them undress you, either. Not really.

You still loved Rin, even when it hurt. Even when he disappeared into a world too big for you to follow.

Now, as he scores a goal and barely reacts, as his teammates rush to him and he doesn’t even smile, you feel that familiar ache press into your chest.

You still love him. Maybe you always will.

But watching him now, you finally understand.

He never knew how to be yours.

And maybe he never wanted to be.

The rain outside keeps falling.

Inside, you finish your meal in silence.

And you don’t look back at the screen again.

[jellychee]

“and there was something about you that now I can't remember.”

╰┈➤ sae itoshi x reader

╰┈➤ wc: 502

🎧: about you - the 1970

You’re soaked by the time you push open the door to the tiny restaurant, your backpack sagging from the weight of your laptop, charger, and the pressure of group work that you ended up doing alone. The air inside is warm and thick with the smell of miso and grilled meat. It’s a welcome contrast to the icy rain outside, which is still falling in sheets against the windows.

You don’t even have the energy to complain anymore. Not about your group mates who barely replied to texts, not about the professor who probably won’t notice you carried the entire project on your back, and definitely not about the university buses that decided to stop running the one day you stayed late. You find a corner booth, slide into it, and let out a sigh that feels like it’s been sitting in your lungs all week.

You order something hot and filling without really reading the menu. When the waiter walks away, your eyes drift up to the TV bolted to the wall above the counter. A live soccer match is playing. You wouldn’t normally care, but a familiar name flashes across the screen in bold text: SAE ITOSHI.

Your stomach tightens a little.

He’s everywhere now— on magazine covers, in commercials, hailed as a genius midfielder taking the world by storm. The announcer’s voice is excited, borderline reverent, as Sae weaves past defenders with that same quiet grace you remember from long ago.

You barely recognize him sometimes. His face has grown sharper, more serious, like someone who’s lived a hundred lifetimes since you last saw him. But every now and then, like when he tilts his head after making a perfect pass, or when his eyes flick up just before a play, you see the boy who used to sit next to you in class, pencil twirling in his hand, half-listening to the teacher while scribbling soccer plays in the margins of his notebook.

You remember the afternoons spent on the playground, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about how he got scouted to play for the ReAl youth team in Spain. He promised he’d come back one day. But then thirteen came, and with it a goodbye that was too quick. You tried to be happy for him. You really did.

The food arrives. You eat slowly, half-watching the screen, half-lost in thoughts about what could’ve been. You wonder if he remembers you the way you remember him. Warm light pouring through the trees, the scent of chalk and grass, your laugh echoing across a quiet field after school.

Outside, the rain keeps falling. Inside, Sae scores. The crowd on screen erupts. You watch his teammates crowd around him, patting his back and shouting his name with smiles of triumph plastered on their faces. Sae stands in the middle, calm and cool, like he was always meant to be something more.

And for just a moment, you let yourself pretend that he still thinks of you too.

[jellychee]

✧˚ · . ˚ · . jelly ✧ 19 ✧ she/her ✧ asian ✧ i mainly write for bllk but will write for others on req!!

✧˚ · . ˚ · . masterlist (coming soon)

✧˚ · . ˚ · . recent works:

➛ “and there was something about you that now I can’t remember.” - itoshi s.

➛ “i don’t wanna get undressed for a new person all over again.” - itoshi r.

➛ “cause I don’t wanna be in love with another, even in another life.” - itoshi s.

➛ “i’ll be watching you.” - itoshi s.

div cred: sseuda