jeschalynn

[jeschalynn]

HIS FACE CARD NEVER DECLINES‼️‼️‼️

[jeschalynn]

That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

[jeschalynn]

sir that’s my emotional support story that I’ve been working on for five years that still has no conceivable plot

[jeschalynn]

[jeschalynn]

The Obey Me! Cast with IRL Jobs | The Side Characters

headcanons (1.5k words) | sfw

cw: swearing, death tw for Thirteen and Solomon's parts

⟡ You're responsible for your own online consumption ⟡

| The Brothers | The Side Characters |

Diavolo

He knows what they call him - The oil prince. Not a nickname Diavolo ever wanted to have, but no one ever bothers to ask him what he does or doesn't want. Just because his father unceremoniously left the company dealings to him doesn't mean certain expectations aren't set in stone either way

Despite his age and rumors spread by his many detractors - Diavolo knows how to run a successful business (his father had made very sure of that). But that didn't mean that he wanted to run this type of business - or even have this type of job in the first place. Though as with most things in life, he was never given the option to decide for himself.

Instead, the board of directors make it very clear that his suggestion to switch to renewable energy is pitifully juvenile, completely frivolous and ill-advised whenever he tries to bring it up. Without fail, the geriatric suits proceed to politely usher him out of the conference room, dismissive smiles like spackle on their faces as Diavolo is handed more offshore project proposals to greenlight and forced to retreat back into his office.

The entire situation regularly ends with him fighting the overwhelming urge to bash his head against his desk.

Barbatos

Wherever he goes, Barbatos remains as enigmatic as ever. He can often be spotted enjoying dinner at Michelin Star restaurants alongside Diavolo - And people say that he does indeed pay for the meals quite often himself - So he has to presumably get his money from somewhere, no? Impeccable manners as well as his always smooth, calculated and precise movements aside, the man is as inconspicuous as can be. Nothing about him gives any hint as to what his occupation could be. Maybe he works for the secret service, maybe he is a bodyguard for Diavolo or even his personal assistant, maybe he has chosen a not-so-upstanding career path for himself - It is absolutely impossible to tell.

And Barbatos evidently feels no need to disclose his job to anyone, so the crowds are left wildly speculating.

And maybe, just maybe... you’re better off abandoning that question altogether. If you value your life, that is. Who's to say, really?

Solomon

Ah, Solomon. Considering his long life span, the sorcerer found out relatively early on that "conventional jobs simply weren't compatible with his skillset".

(Any hypothetical scenarios of him waking up one day, feeling particularly quirky and applying to be a train conductor on a whim during the industrial revolution have absolutely nothing to do with that statement, by the way. As stated, a purely hypothetical situation. But if it had happened, that train ride wouldn't have ended well for anyone besides Solomon himself - Including the newly constructed hypothetical bridge the hypothetical train and its hypothetical passengers would have hypothetically been on.)

Since he still wanted to have as reputable a job as possible - because Goodness, could you imagine him starting pyramid schemes just because he's bored one day? Unheard of, tsk - he decided to settle on working as a - Aaaand I'm just kidding, he never took up a reputable job in his damn life.

At some point, being a king and conquering lands kind of went out of fashion fiddlesticks and he was never the type of person to work for others, so he settled on mysticism. Traveling around the globe, entertaining superstitious bluebloods and occasionally putting on shows taking apart ancient egyptian mummies (that was a fun trend while it lasted) and selling obviously totally real medicine from whatever was leftover after turned out to be quite amusing. Though at a certain point that also became a fad of the past and he had to move on to other things - Not including grave robbery and illegally selling stolen corpses, of course. During the New England Vampire Panic, a lot of the work was done for him, but that's another story entirely

These days he has settled down allegedly, writing and releasing books on a wide range of topics and under an even wider range of pseudonyms.

According to Solomon, that is the only thing he does these days. Pinky Promise!

Simeon

Simeon is... stuck in the hell that is underpaid retail work (They should have raised his pay years ago because at this point he manages the location he works at, yet on paper he is still only a regular worker with the meager salary to boot). Most successful store of the entire business by a looong margin - And he was awarded a 10$ store gift card and a company-branded plastic mug for all his efforts.

Despite all this, he doesn't leave. He genuinely likes his job (even though more often than not it's beyond taxing) and his coworkers and mostly sticks around to protect them from upper management.

His regular working hours and overtime sadly don't leave him with a lot of energy to continue the book he's been writing on the side - But he will finish it someday, he swears. Even though he has been more than overdue for rehab for several years now. Doesn't matter. The store opens at 7 on Monday and he's gotta be in at least two hours early as usual

Luke

If there's one thing you should know about Luke, it's that he's ambitious - And makes a lot of plans. And even more ambitious plans. He wants to become a sous-chef in a renowned restaurant, no wait he wants to start an apprenticeship under Amaury Guichon and be on shows like The Great British Bake-Off or Cake Boss or --- Wait wait, what if he became so popular that he could make his own show and -

At a certain point, he gets so invested in his ideas and plans that someone (usually Simeon or Raphael) has to remind him that he's ten and those grandiose plans of his need to wait a little bit for now. (Without the regular grounding reminders, he’d probably attempt to run a marathon before even knowing how to walk in a sense)

In terms of jobs, Simeon has been thinking about asking Luke if he'd like to try dog walking - Though that conversation is also planned for a couple years down the line.

Mephistopheles

While his dad sits on the board of directors of a successful oil giant (where he'd like to see his son succeed him, thank you very much), so far the only things Barney has managed to accomplish are a) living the life of a socialite and b) start working as a journalist for an infamous tabloid magazine.

His information gathering methods range from taking what he learns from attending social gatherings to write articles to scaring every single person in a 10 mile radius off because his eggplant hair sticks out of every single bush he has ever attempted to hide in to catch a celeb off-guard for a candid photo like a sore thumb as does his giant black Nikon, by the way

Thirteen

Thirteen works as an embalmer - And a very good one at that! Ever busy and often frustrated with the workload she has to deal with (and worst of all the crap she gets from outsiders for her occupation), she loves her job a lot despite it. Plus, it's probably one of the most stable jobs with a decent paycheck she could ask for - people die every single day and there's no sign of that ever stopping and all that jazz.

These days embalming certainly has become less popular in favor of options like cremation, aquamation or natural decomposition, but she's not exactly as up in arms about it as some of her colleagues in the industry. Who knows, if it gets to a point where embalming isn't sustainable anymore, she might just switch to do something else. Driving around truckloads of soil (formerly human corpses) to use for reforestation projects sounds metal as hell, she's down to try.

While she is very busy, she somehow always finds the time to gossip about the latest funeral industry scandals - Don't get her started on the baby corpses in the attic crawlspace or the 13 corpses in one cremation oven, she can go on and on about that stuff for hours.

Raphael

Unsurprisingly, Raphael works on broadway.

In the custom department, of course.

His work is in a league of its own and he's hands down the fastest in the entire department - Especially considering he's the one usually assigned to do all the complicated beading or sequin work.

He's also the only one to have an entire room for himself at work... for reasons. His temper is well-known at work and everyone knows how to avoid it for the most part - But occasionally a new hire makes the mistake of interrupting him at the wrong time or requesting custom changes in the final stages of the project, which runs the risk of ending up as his next pincushion.

They usually do that once and then never again.

⟡ card artwork edited by me | divider made by @jeschalynn | Reblog banner and all rights reserved banner by @/cafekitsune ⟡

[jeschalynn]

[jeschalynn]

One of my favorite Peanuts panels.

[jeschalynn]

⚘️☕️

[jeschalynn]

My impression of Blue Lock, before watching it, was that it was a dystopian sports anime where a bunch of teenage boys are experimented on in some secret lab and are forced to play soccer death matches.

Turns out I wasn't entirely wrong, except I wasn't prepared for Isagi's 50 Shades of Yandere harem. Seriously, everyone wants a piece of him. Not that I'm complaining, because it's hilarious.

Right now I'm too invested shipping the characters with each other to figure out which character I like most, but yeah, my fav is probably Ego.

[jeschalynn]

I enjoy the occasional incorrect headcanon about my special little princess if i'm horny enough, but I draw the line at him being a sex god.

[jeschalynn]

🍽️

[jeschalynn]

It's dangerous to go alone...

[jeschalynn]

i love OCs. like this is my emotional support dressup dolly that i beat the living shit out of

[jeschalynn]

corporate job kills the stoneheart

[jeschalynn]

I know some fic writers get stressed about writing tropes they think are too popular or overdone, and I need you all to know that I just spent 4 hours reading every iteration of the same exact fic plot I could find, and they all brought me an indescribable amount of joy. Listen. Listen. Sometimes you want cakes of many flavours and sometimes you want Nine Carrot Cakes

[jeschalynn]

I saw this

I fixed it

In case any of the pictures aren't crows - In my defense I have bad eyesight and outdated prescription glasses and to this day can't distinguish between ravens and crows AND my editing program thinks horses and basketballs are the same thing so erm blame it on canva... Please? TuT

💯💯💯

[jeschalynn]

One of those days.