jessya620-blog

[jessya620-blog]

Sooo...we went camping

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!!!! We laughed, we swam, they got crazy, and by time we got home someone got a time out........ME, I DID, I NEEDED A TIMEOUT! 

Little secret for all you lovely mommies out there... IT IS OK TO LOCK YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM AND CRY! We all do it sometimes. Sometimes we are just straight up stressed out and need a stinking break! And a note to all the daddies, if your children's mom is stressed out, send her to her room to tell her to take a hot bath or whatever she likes to do and let her know you got it till she is ready to come back. Now just beware this might be all night, but it’s ok because when we come back, we will not only be better moms but we will be better partners also. 

 I love camping... And I take back what I said in my previous post... being a mom is hard too! We went camping at Yogi Bear Campground for the weekend. We love Yogi Bear, it’s awesome for kids so many activities. This weekend was Christmas in July and Santa stopped by! They boys were so excited and Santa brought gifts! AKA, we bought gifts and put their name on it so Santa could give it to them. 

So let me tell you why I needed a timeout when we got home.

I have very little patience for talking back, fighting, and being sassy. All of which we had while camping. I may have looked like the,”crazy” mom, or the “I can’t believe she’s yelling at her kids in public” mom, but I WILL NOT tolerate my children laying their hands on each other, no it’s not a BOY thing! It’s a rude thing, and we have enough bullies in this world that they don’t need to be it to each other. Talking back and being sassy won’t get them far with me or in life. 

My children will have manors and they will respect me and others. 

End of vent.

Even though we had all that going on we did have some fun moments...and the memories I will remember and they will too. (Not the “crazy” mom moments)

I’m just happy they are in bed now... 

[jessya620-blog]

The run down....

Welcome to my blog! This blog we are going to “get real!” I have two little boys one grew in my belly and one grew in my heart! Pretty lucky right? I think so.

So first let’s meet Benjamin Alexander! Benjamin is the one that I grew, he’s my whole world and I can’t imagine life without him. Gosh I’m a such a mom... 

Let’s call him Ben for short, Ben changed my life May 11, 2012, happy mothers day to me, this was the day I found out I was going to be a mom. EEEK! I was beyond thrilled, after years of hearing I may not be able to have children, finding out I was going to have one made me the happiest person in the world because I knew I was put in this world to be a MOM! Fast forward to January 21, 2013 he was born, a perfect 9lbs 4 oz, 21.5″ long, time stood still for those few minutes that I was able to hold him for the very first time. I will never forget that feeling. It was so surreal. I was a mom.

Ben is so cool, he is six now, sassy, loving, caring, funny, and he always makes me feel pretty. 

Our life wasn’t always perfect, when Ben was 1.5 years old, I had to make a decision, would I stay in an emotionally abusive marriage with his dad or would I leave and face single motherhood head on. I chose single motherhood but more importantly I chose a better life. 

Fast forward 3 years, I ran into an old employee, Eric, who I worked with when we were 19/20 years old. Turns out he had a son right about my sons age and they attend the same daycare! I had never seen Eric at the daycare before, crazy right! We decided to grab a drink and the rest is history. He pretty much just swept me off my feet. 

We took things pretty slow, once we decided that we were going to be an item, we decided to have play dates with the boys, I mean after all they already knew each other, they went to the same daycare and they were in the SAME CLASS! Play dates turned into movie nights, turned into sleepovers and then we made the big decision to move in together. About a year of living together we decided we needed more space and we bought a house! 

SO now where does the putting the MOM into Stepmom really work out. Well let me introduce you to a little boy that grew in my heart. Jackson Paul <3 born September 23, 2013, Jackson is one spunky, crazy, goofy, laugh out loud, fart, burp kinda boy. Basically, one could tell he has spent a lot of time with his dad! Jackson also has a big wall built up on who he trusts and loves. It has taken me a very long time to gain this little boys trust and love. I took things very slow with Jackson. After we moved into our new house he developed some “bedtime anxiety.” I looked into this and ways to help him and one of the things I decided to do was to be apart of his constant bedtime routine. Part of this routine allows him and I to have one on one time. I put sleepy time lotion on his arms and chest and then he rolls over and I put some on his back and basically rub his back until he is almost sleeping. While I am doing this I tell him what his dad and I will be doing the rest of the night so he doesn’t worry where we are and I always assure him daddy and I will be right next door when the sun wakes him up.  This routine has helped so much! 

May 31st, About three weeks into this routine, I gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, “I love you son, sleep good and I will see you in the morning.” He did not even hesitate and replied back with a sleepy, “I love you too Jessy.”  OH my heart exploded with happiness.  

Many times I feel rejected by Jackson because he doesn’t show feelings like I am used to from my bio son. I am slowly learning to be happy with the little wins I get, from a have a good day back to me in the morning, to a simple goodnight Jessy. I don’t want to replace his bio mom, but I do want him to be able to trust me and be a person that makes him feel safe because I have grown to love him more than I ever thought I could love a child that wasn’t my own. I would do anything for him.

Being a stepmom is hard, being a mom is easy.