ivanivanov

[ivanivanov]

hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

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So, you're saying you remember who you are, what you are. Yes. Of course.

[ivanivanov]

Eric Dane and Jensen Ackles sit down exclusively with TooFab ahead of their new show Countdown with Amazon Prime. Dane opens up about how he prepared to work with Ackles, while the Supernatural star opened up about his admiration for the Grey's Anatomy alum - TooFab

[ivanivanov]

what the actual fuck did I just read

I love it thank you

magical healing prostate massage

[ivanivanov]

Art for the lovely fic “And Now We Live” by WhatWeDoInTheDark (aka @pattywinchester). Head over to Ao3 and show the author some love!!

Thanks for letting me make some art for it, my friend. And thank you for your lovely words 💓

[ivanivanov]

also now that I’m finished with spn, obviously I’ll look for some myself (and have) but I’d really appreciate anyone giving me all the best destiel fics & edits you already have and/or send me art ideas for me to make more spn drawings (though I do already have some), I want it all

[ivanivanov]

*there're more proofs

[ivanivanov]

what do you mean half of an episode 😭

Misha talks about his and Jared's appearance in "The Boys" [X]

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was inspired by luna lu’s anatomy of a hug

yeah

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[ivanivanov]

Castiel + head tilt

[ivanivanov]

how is supernatural so unapologetically queer like. cOME ON

it's 9.10 ("Road Trip") and Crowley is using Sam's head as a pin cushion so they can talk to Sam without Gadreel listening in. which is obviously not something that Dean can bear for more than a few minutes, so he walks away on the very visible verge of having a breakdown about this whole mess!! and Castiel follows him, and Dean who is infamous for never reaching out when he's in pain does not push him away or pretend he's not in agony!!

there is a generous amount of eye-fucking, but there's also Dean being completely honest about how guilt is eating him alive, which isn't something he tells anyone about! usually he shoves it down for later, because he feels even worse about burdening others with his own pain and regret. after all, doesn't he deserve it!! didn't he do this to himself every time he fell short!! he's not going to give himself the mercy of leaning on someone else, because he doesn't get to. not after failing. he doesn't get to tell someone else about how painfully inadequate and guilty and exhausted he feels, because he doesn't get to share the burden or be understood.

but then,

DEAN.- Cas, I'm sorry (...). Kicking you out of the bunker. That's uh... You know, not telling you about Sam. CASTIEL.- You thought his life was at stake. DEAN.- Yeah, I got played. CASTIEL.- I thought I was saving Heaven. I got played too. DEAN.- So you're saying we're both a couple of dumbasses? CASTIEL.- I prefer the word "trusting". Less dumb, less ass.

in waltzes Castiel with his own mistakes and crushing guilt, and two sentences are all he needs to do to comfort Dean. why does he get through to Dean when Sam has been unable to for 9 seasons now? what is it about this Angel of the Lord in a trenchcoat?

see, Dean thinks himself inferior to Sam in many ways. he couldn't follow his heart like Sam did, he couldn't stand up to their father like Sam did, he isn't fundamentally good at his core like Sam is—or so he tells himself. but Castiel. oh, Castiel, angel of Tuesday, he who fell from grace. he whose good intentions unleashed the Leviathan on Earth, he who thought he did not deserve to be saved and let go of Dean's hand.

what sets Castiel apart, time and time again, is the extent to which Dean trusts him as an equal. sure, he's an angel whereas Dean is a human hunter, but that's the least important thing about who they are in each other's eyes. the exchange above makes me feral because it shows, once more, just how deeply Dean trusts Castiel and values his angel's opinion of him. Sam would have never made Dean snap out of it in just two sentences, let alone make him smile, but Castiel? Castiel pulls it off like it's as easy as breathing. like he was born to ease Dean's pain.

they see themselves in each other's suffering, they are each other's mirror, they are their father's little soldiers who could never be enough, they keep trying oh so desperately to save the world and their kind, they both refuse to give up on protecting others even when it tears their heart apart.

only Dean can get through to Castiel with an "I need you"

only Castiel can get through to Dean with an "I got played too"

(...see, you are not fundamentally bad, I trusted the wrong people in my desperation to save the world too)

only Castiel is Dean's equal in every way that matters. only Dean is Castiel's mirror as he stumbles through the vastness of human nature. only Dean and Castiel are each other's tether in a world that keeps tugging at them in the hopes that it'll rip them to shreds, and the CW might be queerblind but I am sure as fuck not.

[ivanivanov]

I had heard so much about SPN & Castiel before I even started watching it that when Castiel actually showed up it was like watching a prophecy come true.

[ivanivanov]

[ivanivanov]

girls you've been in the same room for 2 minutes

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[ivanivanov]

I'LL LEAVE THE LIGHTS ON