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it fucking sucks being a disabled person who can't work and having to see these fuckass posts where someone's like "ahaha jobless people have no life and that's why everyone shitty online has No Job" and everyone and their mother reblogs it joyfully onto my dash for me to see. yes unemployed and unemployable people are truly without exception dogshit people with no hobbies and no redeeming qualities. you're so right. anyway if you'll excuse me i have to start my shift at the I'll Never Be Employed Because Of Permanent Disability And I Love Knowing How You Really See Me store

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sorry but if I got picked for the hunger games I wouldn't bother with training id be getting nasty with long hair alcoholic woody harrelson for as long as theyd let me ❗❗❗

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my 3 month sober recovering alcoholic ass wishes so badly that haymitch would’ve gotten sober by the end of everything because he’d probably feel so much better and it’s like UGH i get why he still drinks and how it’s just a habit at that point, but he deserves to live however many years he has left sober and not dying a slow painful death:( i just feel so strongly about haymitch man like we are one in the same and i wish he had a sober buddy or sponsor or something just to make him realize being sober isn’t the worst thing and that he’d be so much happier without it because it’s a depressant💔

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preparing to side eye all the adults writing for 16 year old haymitch once the sotr fics start rolling out😭

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General Glitterbeard || Haymitch Abernathy ||

A/n: Haymitch deserve's some happiness.

It started with the flowers on Peeta’s leg. But once the cookies were in the oven and her hands were full of markers, there was no stopping her.

Haymitch had made the critical mistake of lying down on the couch.

Now, half-asleep and vaguely aware something was happening, he cracked one eye open to find your daughter hovering above him, tongue poking out in concentration as she carefully pressed a butterfly sticker to his forehead.

“What the—”

“Shh,” she whispered, patting his hair. “You’re a garden warrior now.”

He blinked up at you from under a halo of multicolored glitter and marker swirls. “A what?”

“You fight the bugs,” she said very seriously, reaching for a green marker to start drawing vines down his arm. “But only the mean ones. And you live in a sunflower castle.”

“Oh,” Haymitch replied, nodding like it all made perfect sense. “Course I do.”

You stifled a laugh as she started drawing a sword—more like a squiggle—on his cheek. He didn’t even flinch.

Peeta, from his place at the kitchen table, leaned over and whispered to Katniss, “Five years ago he’d have cursed the sky if someone looked at him sideways. Now look at him.”

Katniss smirked. “Covered in stickers, getting bossed around by a four-year-old.”

“Don’t laugh too hard,” you told her. “You’re next.”

“I’m going to be a moon witch,” your daughter said, looking at Katniss with delight. “But you have to wear a hat made of leaves.”

Katniss raised a brow, but there was a soft tug at her mouth. “I can live with that.”

Haymitch groaned theatrically, sitting up just enough to look at his arms. “Do I at least get a cool name?”

“General Glitterbeard,” she declared proudly, placing one final flower sticker on his chin.

Haymitch blinked. Then let out a short laugh, surprising even himself. “Alright, kid. You win.”

You watched them—your wild little girl and the once-gruff man who now wore flowers like medals—and your heart swelled with something deep and quiet and full.

Maybe the world hadn’t ended. Maybe it was just beginning, here, with cookies in the oven and glitter on the couch.

Katniss and Peeta left, excusing themselves for the day. Which meant that Haymitch can sit down and relax...if you can call it that since the man found himself trying to fix something his adorable child had made.

The man was distracted, as he carefully tried to tie the string around the newly crafted “garden warrior” paper crown Lina the adorable four year old had made him out of construction paper and pipe cleaners. He was muttering under his breath, frowning at the tangled knot.

That’s when she struck.

Lina tiptoed behind him, holding her newest treasure—a tiny fistful of loose glitter, freshly pilfered from her “art treasure box.” With the kind of chaotic glee only a four-year-old can channel, she leaned over his head and dumped it—glitter cascading like fairy dust over his black curls.

“Lina!” you half-gasped, half-laughed though it turned into a full blown snort, your turning your body away to hide your laughter. Your husband fully covered in glitter.

Haymitch froze mid-knot, his entire body going still as fine gold and silver sparkles settled into his hair, his shirt, even his eyebrows. A shimmer coated him like magic.

Before he could speak, Lina gasped dramatically and clapped her hands.

“Daddy!” she said, voice full of pure, glittering wonder. “You’re beautiful forever now!”

He turned to look at her, one brow raised, glitter clinging to his lashes. “Forever, huh?”

She nodded, bouncing slightly in place. “It’s special glitter. Can’t come off. Even if you take a bath. Now everybody will see you sparkle and know you’re the best daddy in the world.”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing as Haymitch looked at you, silently begging for rescue.

“Don’t look at me,” you grinned. “You are kind of glowing.”

With a resigned sigh, he leaned back, letting her climb into his lap—glitter and all. She smooshed his cheeks between her hands and giggled when it puffed some of the glitter into the air.

“You like me this way?” he asked, teasing.

“You look like a hero,” she whispered seriously.

And for once, Haymitch didn’t make a joke. He just pulled her close, glitter and all, and rested his chin on her head.

“Guess it’s not such a bad look, then.”

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i’m so down bad for woody harrelson it’s not even funny guys.

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when sotr comes out the x reader tag for haymitch is gonna be filled with young haymitch fics and i’ll be devastated abt it bc i can’t read those bc that boy is 16 and im 20 (almost 21), like that’d just be weirdd & icky of meee. i’ll just be missing my 40 year old alcoholic is all 😔

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i still read and write so many fem!reader fics even though i’m trans and i honestly think it has to do with me wishing i had just been born normal and in my perfect little fantasy land i’m okay with being a girl and smooching my fictional boyfriends😭

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guys would it be wrong of me to write a self indulgent fic where haymitch meets a girl who he sees pieces of lenore dove in and falls for her despite trying not to?? since he still sees lenore dove and talks to her spirit i imagine her encouraging haymitch, telling him that though geese mate for life, if one dies before the other they find another mate. but idk i’d feel like i’m betraying haymitch’s character and his love for lenore dove???😭

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snow really convinced himself lucy gray didn't love him (after she wrote a whole song about him and tried to run away with him) and then forty years later told sixteen year old haymitch abernathy that dying in the arena would be dodging a bullet compared to loving a covey girl. top 10 situationships gone horribly wrong

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yall are mad about all the people in twelve knowing each other when twelve is canonically the smallest district and all of them WOULD be the same age if they were alive. lol. lmao even

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burdock everdeen couldn’t save haymitch but haymitch could save burdie’s little girl

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my heart genuinely hurt when i read this because i too was not a drinker until i wanted to escape terrible memories :(

haymitch saying “I don’t drink” hahaha so funny I have a gun in my mouth

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i cannot get over how much of a loser snow is honestly 😭😭 puked his guts out in front of haymitch, divulged how he's hung up on a covey girl from FORTY YEARS BEFORE, finally said something pathetic like"don't make fun of me again 😠" ffs be cool man

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can’t believe suzanne collins called north america “a land full of Capitols” in tbosas and set the reaping on the fourth of july and people still don’t get that the hunger games is a critique of american capitalism. how much more direct is she gonna be in sunrise on the reaping.

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I’m very excited for Sunrise on the Reaping but I’m not excited for how the fandom is going to react to Haymitch’s character after seeing how people reacted to Snow

I'm just waiting for way too many people to only care about the young version of Haymitch and disregard the older, traumatized, self-medicating disaster of a man who deserves just as much as this portrayal. I can already see his character getting a whooooole lot of new fans because of being played by a young conventionally attractive actor and I'm going to be here with the small handful of people who have been a fan of his character for Years

If I start seeing bitches trying to sanitize the original trilogy portrayal of his character I'm going to start biting people

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suzanne said i will not stop writing books until you guys actually understand the main plot and what it signifies and honestly? i really fucking respect that