jewish-sideblog

[jewish-sideblog]

I know we talk about the oxen a lot, but there's some wild fun stuff in the Talmud too. An incomplete list:

rabbi dick measuring contest

a king's 1am influencer bro routine

"King David had 400 sons and they were all hot"

an argument about the legality of literally fucking yourself

HOA rules for where windows on your house can go

"as we all know, werewolves have tails in human form"

two guys who got off on charges for homosexuality by telling the witness that it was two witnesses against one

judge using fruit to prove eye witness testimony is unreliable

"quarrels are like peeing"

a bunch of rabbis defining different types of bed and one of the definitions they use is a bed specifically for throwing your clothes on

someone insisting that the law saying "you need a jury of x amount of people" means that x should be half the jury + 1 resulting in the suggestion that you need a jury of 45 people for a murder trial

your mom jokes

"why does it say Solomon had 4000 horses AND that he had 40,000 horses?" "he had 160 million horses"

science more questionable than Pliny

the demand that a captive bear who killed someone be present at the trial

diagram of punishments for illegal haircuts

"in order for a town to be big enough to have a court it needs to have 10 idlers of the synagogue"

a rabbi claiming that you can only be a judge on the national court if you're a hot wizard

In conclusion: the Sages would do numbers on tumblr.

[jewish-sideblog]

It is genuinely fucking mind boggling that some people think it's good for Iran to have nukes because "they aren't going to actually use them. It's a preventative measure against the US and Israel"

Oh I didn't know that you have more Intel than over 30 countries about irans intentions with nukes. Please enlighten me, random person online who has no relevant qualifications or experience, do tell me more so I can believe you instead of 30+ fucking countries

[jewish-sideblog]

pick me jew contest

if it compels you explain in tags (or add any other missed options)

[jewish-sideblog]

I catch a glimpse of the anti-zionist side of tumblr sometimes and it seems like they may be arguing about whether Steven Universe or Brother Bear offers more insight into the situation with Iran. theres more context to it than that but. not much

[jewish-sideblog]

[jewish-sideblog]

Just to be 100% crystal clear - if you come into my space saying "No such thing as an innocent Palestinian" I'm going to block your hateful, bigot, monstrous arse just as fucking quickly as I do the ones who say "No such thing as an innocent Israeli" because you're two sides of the exact same grotesque, inhuman coin.

[jewish-sideblog]

you heard it here first guys. basic sociology is Zionist propaganda. not believing in race science is also Zionist propaganda. thank G-d they openly call themselves illiterate, at least they have some semblance of self awareness

[jewish-sideblog]

Pride Mezuzahs

If I forgot your flag, tell me. Happy pride to the Jews in my phone.

[jewish-sideblog]

Why is it "not in our name" when it's Israel, which you don't have a citizenship in, but not when it's people in your movement murdering people in your country

[jewish-sideblog]

tuttlesinger

[jewish-sideblog]

[jewish-sideblog]

Poll: Antisemitic or not (Jews only)

[jewish-sideblog]

I bring a "zionism is first and foremost a term and philosophy for jews that was co-opted by both sides of the political spectrum because they aren't allowed to say kike anymore" vibe to the function that frankly makes a lot of people uncomfortable

[jewish-sideblog]

My mother sent me a “I’m not dead in the air strike please tell your grandparents” message today so sorry if I don’t think American’s WWIII draft jokes are in good taste

[jewish-sideblog]

I know we shouldn't listen to anyone with "Soviet" in their username, but "Iran is a progressive country which has continuously worked for the world's liberation" has me, like, reeling. Where can I get the crack this person and all their noble comrades are smoking? I would really love some.

[jewish-sideblog]

insane to act like atheists are a prosecuted minority within leftist or left leaning spaces. what in the fuck are you talking about. most of you/us are atheists. hello

[jewish-sideblog]

Zohran is acting like being Mayor of NYC makes you Mayor of the UN Headquarters, when in actuality it makes you Mayor of the largest Jewish diaspora population in the entire world. He can really play up the “normal guy who cares about his constituents” shtick. But calling to globalize the intifada and refusing to condemn the holocaust are signs to me that he maybe doesn’t actually care about his constituents all that much

Good friend asked me how I felt about Mamdani today and I was like…. uhm. I think his domestic policy is great! his foreign policy should be irrelevant to a race for a local municipal office but it really isn’t huh???