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jjacob · 4 years ago

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pillow talk

❝ oh my god, you two, jacob said not on the couch! ❞

PAIRING ▸ lee juyeon x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ angst (with a happy ending), fluff, roommate au, friends to lovers, college au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, mildly suggestive content, “share a bed” trope !!

SUMMARY ▸ being roommates with lee juyeon was trouble, and that was essentially because you didn’t want to be just roommates.

PLAYLIST ▸ icarus by jo1

WORD COUNT ▸ 2309 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ sorry all my fics on this acc are gifts for addy but happy birthday @honeyju !! ♡ there’s no one else i would stay up until 2 am writing a fic for before a festival i’ve been waiting months to go to

THERE WAS SOMETHING SATISFYING ABOUT MAKING BREAKFAST FOR SOMEONE, YOU REALIZED.

You started doing it a little while after you found a place to stay, probably as the only way you could say ‘thank you’ to Kevin Moon and Jacob Bae for putting up with you. Brew some coffee, fry up some bacon, toast some bread, scramble a couple eggs—instant satisfaction.

You attended your college classes from ten in the morning until seven at night; your roommate, Lee Juyeon, worked the night shift at a gas station from midnight until seven in the morning. It was the only job he could snag to pay for tuition, and the graveyard shift was the only shift his boss could give him for whatever ungodly reason.

Sleep was sacred to Juyeon. He hardly got any when he was dealing with college coupled with work. You knew you couldn’t talk him out of being so hard on himself, so you got used to his schedule.

When you got home from school, Juyeon was just waking up.

That was how you started eating breakfast for dinner.

“Doesn’t that keep you up?” Juyeon asked over his plate of pancakes and eggs, watching as you downed the rest of your coffee.

“Nope.” You shook your head, managing a tight-lipped smile. “Perks me up maybe, but I pride myself on my ability to fall asleep in any situation.”

“Good to know.” Juyeon nodded, sipping coffee from his own mug.

Juyeon laughed that sleepy, soft laugh that you adored. His hair still stuck up every which way from sleep, but he was every bit as gorgeous as he was during the first breakfast they’d had together. It had been a long time since they started doing whatever it was that they were doing, and shit, it stuck.

It could be because Juyeon was flat broke on his own and had nowhere to stay but with Kevin and Jacob, that you could indulge in these sweet moments you got to spend with him.

Juyeon nudged your leg under the table with his foot and gave you that smile that lit up his eyes, bringing you out of your head and back into the kitchen. “Are you alright?” he asked, and you nodded in response.

Just peachy, you thought.

Juyeon gave you a calculating look, but ultimately deemed it an acceptable answer. You both finished the rest of your meal in relative silence, Juyeon then breaking off to shower and you settling into the couch. You wondered if you should have been embarrassed by how domestic this felt.

You were in your early twenties, for God’s sake. People your age were getting hammered and blacking out on curbs, partying their youth away, and here you were, watching Masterchef on a Saturday night with every intention of falling asleep right where you sat.

When Juyeon emerged, he was half-dressed for work, a white t-shirt tucked into his black slacks, clean-shaven, and wide awake. He sat beside you on the couch, close enough that your shoulders brushed against each other, and he kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

“What are we watching?”

You didn’t respond.

“Y/N.”

Juyeon leaned over and pressed his lips to the soft spot underneath your jaw. Your resolve faltered just a little, and you leaned into it. Juyeon carefully removed the remote from your hand, set it on the coffee table, and pushed you down. Neither of you spoke as Juyeon’s fingers moved to the zipper of your pants.

This was the confusing part about your relationship with Lee Juyeon. It wasn’t like there was a rule against roommates screwing each other, but it was rather strange that you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other. It was strange that you felt this tightness in your chest whenever you were around him. It was strange that you grew sad when you wondered how long this would last.

For now, though, this was pretty great.

At least, it was, until the front door flung open and you heard Kevin’s very adamant, “Oh my god, you two, Jacob said not on the couch!”

You and Juyeon pushed away from each other, and, to top it all off, Kevin was not alone. With him stood a pretty girl in a denim jacket, looking about as horrified as a person could get.

“I should go”—Juyeon cleared his throat—“get ready for work.”

Juyeon retreated faster than you had ever seen, which was fine, but you had to hold back your laugh when you watched him maneuver around the girl so she wouldn’t see his boner.

The girl turned to Kevin. “Where’s your bathroom?”

You waited until she was out of sight to adjust your clothing, sitting up and running a hand through your unkempt hair.

“Y/N,” Kevin complained.

“I don’t wanna say it’s your fault for not assuming, but…” You didn’t finish the accusation because you really didn’t have to. Also, because Kevin grabbed a roll of newspaper off the coffee table and smacked you with it. “Hey!”

“Do not mess this up for me, Y/N,” he warned.

You cocked an eyebrow at him. “Mess what up?”

Kevin’s eyes flicked from you, toward the bathroom, and then back again.

Oh.

You grinned. “Kevin Moon, you sly dog.”

“Shut up.” Kevin hit you again. “Don’t say a word, you hear me?”

“To who?”

“Anyone,” he clipped. “It’s not your place to say. It’s mine.”

“But if I let it slip…”

You probably should’ve seen it coming because you had it coming, but you still let out a groan when Kevin elbowed you in the gut. Your stomach seized—eggs, bacon, and coffee. It almost felt like a tilt-o-whirl in your gut. There was a point where Kevin’s limits were seriously being pushed, and though you had enough air in your lungs to say one more thing, and you knew it should’ve been an apology, that wasn’t what came out.

“You won’t say a word,” Kevin threatened.

“I could.”

Before you could take another blow that you were so poised for, Juyeon and the girl came back out just in time to pull you two away from each other.

Kevin worked a crick out of his neck. “What? You two never had siblings?”

Was Kevin your sibling? Well, not biologically, but they had a similar relationship.

“I’m very sorry you came home when you did,” you heard Juyeon apologize, “and I’m very sorry that we didn’t abide by Jacob’s rule.”

You stiffened as Juyeon’s hand came up to your shoulder, pressing a healing warmth into your tense muscles. However, the silence between the four became way too much for you, and you quickly pulled away.

You had to lie down for a few minutes.

Your room was dark—yours and Juyeon’s room now, you supposed—perfect for hiding. The distinct smell of lavender and ocean breeze was faint. Faint traces of the candle Juyeon lit last night. You both actually knew how to keep a tidy room and liked to keep it like that.

You didn’t know how long you laid there, but you knew it wasn’t long enough to let you feel any better before Juyeon walked in.

“What?”

“I wanted to make sure you’re alright,” Juyeon said softly, and he sat on the edge of your bed. “Should I have Kevin drive me to work?”

You groaned and pushed yourself up onto your forearms. “Nope. You’re driving yourself, come on.” You slid out of bed and pulled on your boots, Juyeon staring at you the entire time. “What?”

“You’re acting strangely,” Juyeon observed.

“I’m not acting strangely,” you spat around the words. Juyeon didn’t relent, though; it wasn’t his style. He just kept staring, and you rubbed your hands over your face. “I’m fine, Juyeon.” You groaned when you realized that Juyeon was still staring.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” he replied, “but I have a feeling that’s why you’re acting like this.”

“Talk about what?”

“About us.”

“Juyeon,” you came back, flames licking at the underside of your stomach, your blood running hot through your veins. You knew this was all you needed, but the conversation scared the wits out of you. “Have Kevin drive you to work.”

“Y/N,” Juyeon called after you, but you were already gone.

It was six-thirty in the morning when Juyeon got home, and you were still wide awake.

You hated yourself for it, but you were awake. You couldn’t get your mind to quiet down after everything that happened last night. Every time you thought you hit the final lull, it all started back up again. All you could hear was the disappointment in Juyeon’s voice, his face, the defeat wilting his muscles.

Perhaps it was seeing Kevin with another girl that made you feel this way. Seeing someone try to commit when Juyeon was doing everything in his power to skirt around the topic. You had to admit that you felt like a side piece, even more so when he would carelessly touch you in front of others without caring about what they’d think.

And, now, he just stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, watching you with a weary gaze.

“Hey,” you called.

“Hi,” Juyeon murmured. “Can I come in?”

You let out a weak laugh. “Well, this is your room, isn’t it?”

Juyeon cherished his sleep, considering he hardly got any. For him to not crash as soon as he stepped foot in the room was a lot coming from him.

In short, you really had him worried.

Juyeon let out a sigh and flopped back onto his bed. “I’m exhausted, but if you wanna talk, I’m here.”

“We never talk about this stuff,” you replied, gaze fixed on the ceiling. “I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want.”

But that wasn’t what you wanted. You just wanted to slip into Juyeon’s bed and curl up next to him. You wanted to sleep with him from dusk till dawn, ignoring your terrible, clashing schedules.

Juyeon seemed to have the same idea.

His weight dipped the mattress. He didn’t say anything, but you could hear him slip his jacket off his shoulders and peel off his shirt. Even as he cuddled up beside you, you found the fire under your skin go cold. You rolled over to see Juyeon’s back facing you, probably trying to give you your privacy.

You wanted to be furious. You wanted to leap out of bed and get your day started, but your muscles ached and your head pounded. You only had yourself to blame for that; Kevin decided he wanted to take a few shots of soju with you before he went off to someone’s party—probably Sunwoo’s place. Your heart hammered in your chest, and your gut churned, and fuck, you probably pissed Juyeon off.

That was what was racking your brain the most. The both of you knew that all you had to do was talk, but it was always you who brought it up, and Juyeon would indulge in your conversation before pulling away. You were sick of everything that was happening between you, but neither of you put a label on it.

Juyeon rolled over again, this time into your body heat, tentatively wrapping his arm around your side and nuzzling his face into your neck.

Wordlessly, you turned around so that you could cozy up to Juyeon’s chest and wrap your leg around his hip. Juyeon pressed his lips to the side of your head, then your neck, and then peppered kisses along your throat.

“Sorry,” was all he could come up with.

“I know,” you hummed, letting out a short sigh, and Juyeon held onto you tighter.

You had no idea why or how he dealt with you. If Juyeon wanted someone, he could have them in a heartbeat, but him staying with you and trying for you had to mean something, right? He stroked your hair and minutes stretched on. His presence was comforting, but not enough to lull you back into drifting off.

“I’m scared when we do stuff and never talk about what we are,” you said then. “It makes me feel like I’ll lose you one day, and you won’t care, and I won’t be able to figure out what we were.”

Juyeon was silent for a moment. “I’ve never thought about it that way, but I apologize for not being more aware of your feelings.”

You were afraid to look because you knew Juyeon was staring at you with those big, shining eyes, waiting for you to say something more. You couldn’t, though. You were done with this. Done with feeling stripped bare, guts spilling out and thumping heart exposed, beating for the world to see.

“Y/N,” Juyeon said softly. He tested the waters with one touch, just a brush of his hand against your jaw.

You leaned into it, so Juyeon cupped your face in both hands and brought his lips to your forehead.

“I like you,” he hummed. “A lot.” He pecked your lips softly before he continued, “I just never knew how to approach it. Never thought you’d want to go farther than this.”

“I do,” you reminded him. “I wanna be with you in every way possible.”

Juyeon smiled, and then he stifled another yawn.

“C’mere,” he murmured, drawing your body closer to his. He was pressed flush against your body, holding you close like he was about to lose you. As you two settled in that position, Juyeon pressed a kiss to the top of your head and whispered, “I might love you.”

Though he couldn’t see it, you smiled. “I think I might love you too, Lee Juyeon.”

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