jk6i

[jk6i]

yes i had a friend that had a bucket to kick and i am sorry that i had to make you ask about it again

wealthy relative

[jk6i]

my friend @sky_mashups just released one of his yearly megamixes

give it your listens and spread it

[jk6i]

[jk6i]

oh god archduke franz ferdinand watch out he’s got a gun OH NO HE’S GOT AIRPODS IN HE CANT HEAR ME

[jk6i]

“I’m just going to watch Shrek in my head.”

As a little kid, I was SOOOOOO damn obsessed with Shrek.

I mean the kind of obsessed where I’d watch it over and over again days in a row. It was all I ever wanted to watch.

It got to the point where I had memorised it word-for-word, and beat-for-beat. This meant that, somehow, I could watch it in my head—timed perfectly. No fast forwarding, no skipping.

Now this was fine for car trips and such, because my dad would be like “Hey do you want some colouring-in to do?” And id be like “Nah, I’m going to watch Shrek in my head.”

Ocassionally my dad would ask where I was up to in the movie—just to check on me.

Youre probably thinking Huh that’s weird but cool I guess?

Wrong. Sort of.

It got so bad that I’d watch it in my head at night before I went to sleep. My dad would literally check on me at night, notice I was blankly staring up at the ceiling, and have to yell “Stop watching Shrek and go to sleep!”

I cant remember how this faded from being one of my abilities, but it sure was cool while it lasted.

But for a while, Shrek really WAS my life.

[jk6i]

just VIGOROUSLY rolling my eyes

don't mind me

[jk6i]

*old man voice* back in my day tik tok was a ke$ha song

[jk6i]

[jk6i]

wat

[jk6i]

in theory its super bad when straight dudes go “hey ur a lesbian? we both like girls we’re the same!” but in reality this has happened twice and most recently was today when a guy i was training in the frame shop went “oh you’re gay?” “yea” “that’s cool. it’s cool that you told me. we both like girls and star wars so it’s nice that we have a shift together :)” like god damn it brett you’re so respectful and thoughtful with your goddamned words

[jk6i]

[jk6i]

[jk6i]

@staff wench, ha! for what reason is thou angry? because mine own pussy poppeth sev’rely and thine own does not?

[jk6i]

red dead redemption 2

i'd fucking THRIVE

You wake up tomorrow to find yourself in the world of the last video game you played. How screwed/lucky are you?

[jk6i]

so tumblr's dead now, right?

[jk6i]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[jk6i]

only a few months later and this is still my mood forever

the other day i was buying a quart of motor oil and i’m like “i don’t need the receipt”

her: “well just in case”

me: “i’m not gonna return the oil it’s going in my car”

her: “but they might stop you at the door”

BITCH THIS IS A WALMART. I DON’T WANT THE GODDAMN RECEIPT