johcrastinator

[johcrastinator]

Orson Scott Card, Shadow of the Giant

[johcrastinator]

I’ve been away for awhile now.

You got me feeling like a child now Cause everytime I see your bubbly faaaa-eyz lol

For those who are still following me and doesn’t remember who I am anymore, uh, hi? I guess. I used to be someone you guys talk with. Haha, anyway.

I can’t fully commit myself now with my blog, which is very depressing because this used to be my sanctuary and friend. Haven’t done much with this blog, but I have old ones that I haven’t opened for a really long time (way back 2009). Have lots and lots of commitment outside tumblr and more responsibilities are coming now that the year is almost over. What happened? College happened guys, that’s why.

But because I can’t really leave Tumblr no matter what, I promised myself to blog atleast a week or every two weeks or when I have free time (which is something you don’t really care, but this is pretty important to me you know. you don’t understand you doooONT). I already wrote down plans to accomplish for my blog which is really funny to think about when vacation is about to end. As a frustrated writer and a not-so-confident person who wanted to develop her writing skills and be able to publish a story, I decided to post stories from this day on! Moreover, I’m thinking of revamping, restart this blog--I mean really restart, and the list goes on.

This is just an announcement or let’s just say a starting post for a new blog on the way so..

Happy Holidays. Enjoy it while it lasts.

[johcrastinator]

I Biked Today || 052615

Which is really an achievement because I biked from our house to school (which is, btw, a 30 min travel if i used public vehicles and is a 2 public vehicle ride from home). I remember getting my knees so tired and sore, which is rather unusual because I’m sporty like that (ha!). My theory is maybe because of the short pants I’m wearing that goes just above my knee and is really tight, or it’s the bike that I used which is my best friend’s bike. Or I’m just getting fat and lacks exercise and work out.

I guess I would go with the latter.

Anyway.

What bothered me most was the people I passed by, mostly boys, who are shouting and calling my attention when they see me. Saying “hi, miss! Pasakay!”. I mean, how rude can they be? The last thing I needed was a distraction because I needed to focus on the road and not get hit by a passing vehicle. And please, it’s not really appealing to see men do that to ladies. It’s......disgusting. I mean, who likes that? I am so angry. I don’t care how you would interpret it, but it really angers me. Can’t they show a little respect?

Anywaaaaay.

That’s mostly what happened today. And I don’t have anything interesting to write. I just thought I could write down one of my achievements. 

[johcrastinator]

This time, I’m not letting you treat me as an option.

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This is the first song from the album that became my favorite (eventually, every song from ‘X’ became my favorite). And this is just so beautiful, okay? Ed, oh Ed. How can you be this beautiful. I am internally screaming. 

I am calm.

I am cALM

ugh

[johcrastinator]

I'm not emotionally stable bc this is the last song from X and now we won't get new music for ages bye Ed 😩

😭

[johcrastinator]

ED SHEERAN OUT HERE TRYIN TO KILL THE MASSES

[johcrastinator]

They told me to pour my heart into everything I do. So that’s what I did, I poured and poured and poured. Now they ask me why I’m so empty.

Anonymous (?)

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She’s insecure. She doesn’t believe in herself. She had all these years thinking she’s nothing. Nothing compared to the other girls. She spent the night looking and hating on her flaws. Shaming herself. Rejected herself from the compliments she received, accepting the ugly ones instead. Blocked herself from the good things. Blinded by the hate. And she needs assurance. She still needs to hear those beautiful words and compliments coming from you. She’s not pushing you away. She just want to know how much you really mean it, how it’s not a false hope. Because even though she doesn’t accept your words, she still holds on to it.

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Let me hold you up; like you held me up.

i am here

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Beauty is not long hair, skinny legs, tanned skin or perfect teeth. Believe me. Beauty is the face of who cried and now smiles, beauty is the scar on your knee since you fell when you were a kid, beauty is the circles when love doesn’t let you sleep, beauty is the expression on the face when the alarm rings in the morning, it’s the melted makeup when you have a shower, it’s the laughter when you make a joke you’re the only one who can understand, beauty is meeting his gaze and stopping understanding, beauty is your gaze when you see him, it’s when you cry for all you paranoias, beauty is the lines marked by time. Beauty is what we feel in the inside which also shows outside us. Beauty is the marks the life leaves on us, all the kicks and the caresses the memories leave us. Beauty is letting yourself live.

Emma Watson.   (via ynesterday)

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Funny how I’m so out of words tonight. It’s just that I’m happy I spent the rest of the evening with you. I know we don’t often see each other so much, and I know it’s gonna get a lot more worse now that you’re about to find a job somewhere even more far. T’was a day well spent. Well, ‘well spent’ doesn't even cover much of the evening. I miss you so much again. And I know you do, too. And I know the next time we get to see each other again, we’ll make it even more greater than tonight. Thank you for my post-birthday celebration and our advance month celebration, and thank you for the love. Hope you got home safe and sound, love. I’ll be dreaming of you.

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I really love having long walks with you. We would just walk where our feet could lead us, and between those walks, we would talk about our future together even if we’re not really certain how our fate will turn out after few years. We would talk about the type of house we wanted to have, with garden or not, how many floors, how many kids. Or maybe the work we’ll have in the future and how we’re going to make us work despite the hectic schedule. Promises we would swear to each other. Random things we could share with each other. Laughs. Sadness. Fate. Things like that. Then suddenly we’ll look around wondering where we are heading to, and we’ll laugh our ass off because we don’t know where we should go next. 

I just want to do that with you. Always. Anytime. Anywhere.