johnlockyeehawww

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : You have nice lips.

John : You’re drunk.

Sherlock : Yes. But the lips are still nice.

John : ...You wanna kiss me?

Sherlock : Yes. But scientifically.

John : Of course. For research

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : I don’t understand why you won’t let me keep the skull in the fridge.

John : Because that sentence proves you shouldn’t be in charge of anything ever.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : Why is there a raccoon in the flat.

Sherlock : His name is Gregory. He found the evidence before Lestrade did.

John : …You gave a wild raccoon Lestrade’s name?

Sherlock : I gave him Lestrade’s job, technically.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : Sherlock, why is there a severed foot in the fridge next to the cheese?

Sherlock : ( sipping tea ) They were both going off and I wanted to compare decay rates.

John : I married you. I chose this.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : Sherlock, why are there 14 pigeons in the bathroom?

Sherlock : Experiment.

John : Why is one wearing a tiny hat?

Sherlock : Control group.

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : If I died, would you mourn me?

John : You fake-died once and I mourned so hard I punched you.

Sherlock : ( fondly ) You did.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : You’ve been awake for 36 hours, you’re not making sense anymore.

Sherlock : The Queen is a lizard and Mycroft is the Moon.

John : ( drags him to bed ) Okay, bedtime.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : Why are you sniffing the wall?

Sherlock : It smells like murder.

John : I think that’s the curry we ordered three nights ago.

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : John, I can hear colours.

John : That’s sleep deprivation.

Sherlock : The blue is screaming.

John : That’s me screaming, Sherlock.

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : I can’t find my violin.

John : It’s in the freezer.

Sherlock : Ah, yes. I wanted to see if it’d sound colder.

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : If anything ever happened to you, I’d-

John : Kill everyone in London?

Sherlock : I was going to say cry, but your version’s better.

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : I don’t need you.

John : Fine.

Sherlock : I want you.

John : Oh.

Sherlock : For science.

John : There it is.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : Why are you staring at me?

Sherlock : I’m trying to memorize your face in case you get murdered.

John : That’s… sweet?

Sherlock : No. It’s practical.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : I thought you were dead for two years.

Sherlock :

John : Two. Years.

Sherlock : But I’m back now.

John : ( punches him in the face )

Sherlock :

John : Welcome home.

[johnlockyeehawww]

Sherlock : Do you want to solve a murder?

John : It’s 3am.

Sherlock : They say love never sleeps.

John: That’s not-

[johnlockyeehawww]

Mrs. Hudson : Are you two finally together?

John : No.

Sherlock : We’re emotionally married.

Mrs. Hudson : What does that even mean?

John : It means I yelled at him for getting shot and then spoon-fed him soup. Again.

[johnlockyeehawww]

John : I’m not saying I’m in love with Sherlock, but-

Mrs. Hudson : But you monogrammed his name into your army jumper?

John : It was cold and he’s mine.