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journalsbydee · 2 years

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When peace like a river..

Took📷 these pics from one of my local parks today. As l walked around this beautiful scenery, l couldn't help but think of the song, "when peace like a river", by Horatio Spafford. He penned it down after him and her wife lost their 4 daughters in a ship accident. He had also experienced a series of tragedies in his life more like the biblical Job. Yet, in that pain, he wrote,

"When peace like a river,attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows rolls, whatever my Lord thou hast taught me to say it is well, it is well with my soul"

Beautiful words of comfort written by a man who at that time was going through the most distressing period of his life. That brought to my mind a long list of my friends and family members who are dealing with grief, some since the beginning of the pandemic others a while ago. Majority of them experienced loss of their loved ones through death while others by divorce.

To my loved ones and many others around the world who are having it tough or have lost their significant other, You are not alone. In one of her books, Steps to Christ, Ellen G. White, states that,

"no tears are shed that God does not notice and there is no smile that He does not mark".

Meaning,there's nothing that concerns our peace that He does not take note of. Psalm 34v18 also affirms about His presence during our tough times,

"He is near to the broken hearted and saves the crashed in spirit".

l may not understand what you are going through at this moment but l have hope in the one who sits enthroned above the circle of the earth (Isaiah 40v22), the one who's got the whole world in His hands that He shall keep you in perfect peace (Isaiah26v3) and will lead you through the darkest valley of your life. His rod and staff will comfort you (Psalm23v4) because He is a faithful shepherd (Psalm 23v1).

Take it easy. Allow yourself to go through all the emotions.This is your personal journey. It may be a lonely one for some.The world will judge you. You will be ridiculed and called names but take heart in knowing that He who has begun a good work in you, will carry it on to completion (Philipians 1v6).

In His word, He has promised never to leave nor forsake us and what a joy to know that even our names are inscribed in the palms of His hands!( Isaiah 49v6) meaning we are soo special in His eyes.In season and out of season, worship and give thanx to Him for the big and small milestones you are making towards your healing progress and remember a river continues to flow smoothly around obstacles. Like a river, flow with grace through your challenges and hold on,it won't be long.It is well..🙏

#grief #wordsofencouragement #itiswellwithmysoul #survivingthelossofyourlovedone #thegoodnewsofsalvation

#inseasonandoutofseason

#prayerlife #godslove

#prayerjournals #prayerjournaling #thevirtuouswoman

#women'sprayerjournals

#deeplyrootedintheword

#proverbs31woman

#happysabbath

#childofgod

#christianjournals

#christianliving

#christianbloggers

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journalsbydee · 2 years

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Navigating post-natal depression as a woman of colour

Having been a mum to 2 boys, nothing exceeded the joy of finding out that l was expecting a baby girl. Intombikayise (daddy's little girl) we would fondly call her.

The pregnancy certainly wasn't a great one as l experienced severe symptoms such as a heightened sense of smell, nausea and hypersalivation. I struggled with doing laundry and cooking due to the smells associated with washing powder and onions. I carried with me a container everywhere l went, for spitting saliva. Despite all the struggles associated with my pregnancy, l still found joy in knowing that l was expecting a girl child.

Fast forward to the 1st of April, we gladly welcomed our little girl. Our hearts were so full of joy. The nursing staff were really amazing to us and they offered help whenever l needed it.

Once l was home, transitioning to a new routine was the hardest. l found myself struggling to adjust. I felt like all my freedom had been taken away. Moreover,after helping me out for a while, my husband had to go back to his workplace which was a bit far from home, which meant that he would be away from home for a month. There was no other way of doing it. He needed to go to work in order to help pay our bills. Also, l had since stopped working and we had to rely on one salary.

My daughter struggled to sleep at night. She would cry the whole night and sleep at 5am everyday. 7am, l would have to wake up and prepare my boys and drop them off to school. This meant that l had to wake the baby up at a time she had started to sleep.

The struggle continued. With sleep deprivation and no support, l began to feel that l wasn't coping. I lost motivation for anything. I started having temper. I withdrew from people that l knew and stopped doing the things l loved like taking care of myself and just cleaning the house. I felt sad all the time. I battled taking good care of my little one. I got to a point were l felt like l was forgetting a lot. I was too exhausted and did not like myself due to the body changes that resulted to pregnancy and giving birth. I felt misunderstood and perceived as one who did not like people yet no-one could see what l was going through. Surely our world can become a better place if we judged less.

It felt great when my husband was around but as soon as he left, l went back to my dark shell. I was engulfed with sadness and felt a sense of emptiness.

I was never diagnosed with Post-natal depression but due to my background in nursing l understood what l was going through. I feared seeking psychological help because l did not want to take any mental health tablets or to be taken away from my kids.

After some few months, l moved to a different city and there started to make friends. I started to open up to a few ladies around me some of which happened to have babies like me, and together we started going out weekly for breakfast, kids playdates and other exciting activities. Connecting with my sisters and my family members from far places, telephonically and through social media, helped a great deal. Some offered to take care of my kids so l could get some time off. I owe my life to all these powerful women.

I also started creating digital products and selling them online. I got involved in church activities and my social circle started growing. Dedicated time for personal, meaningful devotions and prayers. Read the bible and found solace in knowing about His unconditional love for me.

It was at this point that the meaning of self-care started to make sense. Every evening when my little girl slept, l would take a warm bath alone, away from the noise and that worked wonders. During the day, l napped while she slept instead of doing my daily chores. I felt more relaxed and revitalised. My mood started to improve. Gradually, I became emotionally available to my children and husband.

Since then, l feel more happier. I have come to understand that overworking yourself can never make you a great mum. Listening to your body is so important. If you feel burnt out, pause a little bit and take a break from your routine. Creating time for yourself as a mum should never be regarded as being selfish. It's either you take a break from your busy life or you will be broken emotionally and mentally and you won't be of good use to anybody even to yourself.

I write this as a woman of colour,who comes from an African background were traditionally, as a black woman, you are praised for being able to juggle across your role of parenting,career, wife and doing domestic duties without anyone helping you. The expectation for you to deliver your role is extremely high.Nothing much is spoken about post- natal depression, the effects of burning out and the significance of self-care for women. In my mind, l used to think that post-natal depression does not exist. According to statistics 1 in 5 women experiences anxiety and depression during pregnancy and after.

I think its high time that narrative changes. To the modern african woman of today, start prioritising your mental well-being for the betterment of your family. Seek professional help if need arises.

You can strategically plan your self-care activities without interfering with your family programs. Do not deprive yourself of the things you enjoy doing. Strive for creating a balanced lifestyle.Once in a while take yourself for a massage, catch up with your girl friend/s or you could enjoy a 5minute alone time just sipping your favourite drink. Accepting to be helped is also vital. Watch your favourite TV show. Eat healthy. Exercise. The list is endless.

#womensmentalhealth #journalingforselfcare #postnataldepressionawareness #selflovejourney #blackwomenandmentalhealth #blackwomen

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