junastudies

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a little late, but happy 3 years to one of my favorite indie albums ♡

ha hyunsang - my poor lonely heart

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I will not change for the rest of my life,

Because I'm so desperate like this.

If I get worn out, and the rain comes, please,

Remember this night and us at this very moment.

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How much more do I have to wait? How many more nights do I have to stay up? Until I can see you?  - Spring Day

-for @heylittlesong-bird / click for hq/details / support my work

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things I love about min yoongi ↳ his genuine kindness and desire to make the world a better place ♡ 

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People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan

People Matching Artworks: An Unusual Photo Series By Stefan Draschan More info: Website | Instagram…

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οικογένεια : n. family

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*spoiler alert* thoughts on the IOTNBO finale

i’m not a kdrama blog and i’ve never posted about them on here but i just needed a place to write this all out so here goes nothing !

I’m actually relieved that DHJ ended up being MY’s real mother.

Even up until the end of episode 15, I didn’t buy the fact that DHJ was actually MY’s mother, and kept trying to convince myself that there was no way they were actually going to make MY’s real mother the true murderer of KT and ST’s mother.  But after I took some time to think about it (prior to watching the finale), I changed my mind.  Throughout the entire show, IOTNBO conveyed so many messages about victims of child abuse, including but not limited to how children are not responsible for the wrongdoings of their parents, and how children are not obligated to forgive their parents, etc.  If we did get the “plot twist” that everyone was expecting (DHJ not being MY’s real mom), it would have run the risk of essentially contradicting/weakening one of the key messages of the show.  In other words, DHJ not being MY’s real mom could have implied that KT/ST/MY were able to ultimately become a family because “surprise! MY’s mom wasn’t the murderer” when in fact, the real message they wanted to convey was that MY deserves a loving family because she is NOT her mother, nor does she have to carry the weight of her mother’s wrongdoings. Adding “DHJ is not MY’s mother” as an additional reason to KT/ST accepting MY as family runs the risk of straying away from the true message of the ending.

The intense build up to the relatively weak DHJ confrontation/reveal works REALLY well.

I think most viewers were able to catch that despite the huge build up until episode 15, DHJ’s fall was very short and felt really weak.  I think the weak ending for DHJ worked well as a parallel to DHJ as a character.  DHJ was a form of trauma to the entire trio.  Before confronting DHJ, her existence alone was incredibly daunting to KT, ST, and MY.  But just like how MY’s last book says, the witch was merely a shadow; all they had to do was have the courage to find happiness again.  Just as DHJ’s long awaited tenth book was ruined my something as simple as a coffee spill, DHJ’s weak ending parallels her true form: merely a weak shadow that our trio was fully capable of walking out of without any extra drama.

I’m glad that they didn’t reveal how DHJ survived; it really wasn’t necessary anyway.

None of the characters’ memories of that time can be trusted anyways.  KT forgetting about how his mom would take him and ST out for jjamppong because it was his favorite, ST not remembering DHJ’s face, and MY thinking for a moment that the woman with the shawl was her mother returning to her all exemplify that.  IOTNBO is a drama that is almost entirely driven by character development.  MY not even questioning or being curious about how DHJ survived speaks for itself: if our main characters don’t feel the need to figure out DHJ’s backstory, then the viewers don’t need to know either.  Knowing DHJ’s backstory contributes nothing to KT/ST/MY’s growth.  Even if they did include an explanation, it would literally change nothing about what happens to KT/ST/MY in episode 16.  I think that alone is a very good reason to not include it.  Honestly, the only good reason to include it would really just be for fan service; but in the end, it really wouldn’t have added anything.  In fact, I think that its absence further emphasizes the irrelevance and weak nature of DHJ post-confrontation on the ST/KT/MY family.

“Human healing drama” really is the best way to describe IONTBO. I grew up watching kdramas and I’ve had a lot of favorites, but I never really thought “this is my all-time favorite” or even tried to rank my favorites.  IONTBO is the very first drama that I’ve been satisfied (more than satisfied!!) with enough to confidently say it is my absolute favorite.  The characters and their stories were truly a breath of fresh air for me.  The acting, cinematography, writing, OST--everything about it was amazing.  I’m probably going to back and binge watch it soon :-)

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character-driven narratives and the mother mystery

I was thinking about why the show did not discuss what happened to Moon-young’s mom and how she survived everything. There were lots of interesting theories out there. This episode presented several opportunities to clear those up. Moon-young had every opportunity to find out: She went to her, after all. 

And then I remembered the writing style of the story. 

The show discusses everything from the perspective of the character. There is bias in the narration, and it was recurring theme:

1) Ko Dae-hwan had delusions, and he was drunk when everything happened, hence, his unreliable narrative. 

2) Kang-tae’s story with his mom is a primary example. 

3) Sang-tae thought his brother wanted to kill him. In his perspective, Kang-tae pushed him in the river. 

Since the narrative of the story surrounds Moon-young, Kang-tae, and Sang-tae, the only way for us to find out exactly what happened to the mother is through one of them. Kang-tae and Sang-tae are preoccupied with the fact that this woman killed their mother. Their natural reaction wouldn’t be Why is this murderer still alive? 

That leaves us with Moon-young. 

For all we know, her trauma must’ve messed with her memory. (We can come up with different theories why this happened, but I don’t think it will really matter because we know that Dae-hwan is an unreliable narrator, and Moon-young’s trauma might have messed with how she remembers everything.)

But Moon-young says this:

Moon-young wasn’t focused on how or why her mother was still alive. She was more afraid of what will happen when and if she came back. True enough, when her mother came back, she wreaked havoc in their lives. Kang-tae and Sang-tae were hurt, and with her mother locked up in jail, Moon-young focused on what was important to her: her newfound family. 

In short, she just wants to forget her mother. The whole essence of the dialogue gave an impression that Moon-young doesn’t really care about her mother’s motives and experiences anymore. She has caused enough pain in her life.

After all the pain that her mother has caused her, Moon-young does not want to be bothered by her past. She wants to forget it and start over. 

If her mother had not kidnapped Sang-tae and took him as hostage, we’re going to be looking at a different story. After all, we did see her searching for the brooch and questioning why her mother could be alive and how the plastic surgery is so illogical. But the sequence of events starting from then on didn’t give her time or space to think things through because

1) She saw her mother trying to kill the Moon brothers

2) Her mother immediately tried to kill her. 

3) And afterwards, she was too focused on how Kang-tae and Sang-tae both got hurt because of what happened. 

If this were a plot-driven story, the lack of information as to how the mother could have survived is glaring. But this is a character-driven story. The sequence of events is highly dependent on the reaction of the characters involved. In this case, we have Moon-young, Kang-tae, and Sang-tae.

The reveal (aka no plot twist) might have been disappointing for those who are expecting a rather “thriller”-like plot, I find it quite satisfactory for a drama that is supposed to be character-driven. It’s just like how Sang-tae tossed her detective book in episode 15, saying he isn’t interested. Moon-young is not interested in how her mother is still alive. Once she was dealt with, she just wanted her mother out of her life. It’s similar to what she did to her dad.

Remember, Moon-young never bothered to clarify a single thing with her father. She never asked why he wanted to kill her. The same treatment she did to her dad, she applied to her mom.

She wants to close that chapter ASAP.

It’s similar to what happened to Sang-tae. Kang-tae never really told Sang-tae that the latter was the one who fell in the river. He just apologized for all the shitty things he thought of and for wishing that Sang-tae would die instead.

Why? Because for Kang-tae, it didn’t matter if Sang-tae finds out the whole truth about it. 

This treatment was applied to Moon-young’s case.

If the show would make a spin-off about how Do Hui-jae or suddenly change the genre to thriller or crime, now that would be interesting. 

Until the end, the show did stick to its ultimate goal as a character-driven story. It focused on Kang-tae, Moon-young, and Sang-tae’s journey together and individually, and I think in one way or another, we all appreciated the warmth in that. 

[junastudies]

[junastudies]

it’s okay to not be okay + transitions

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you can never please everybody. when you stand up for yourself, there will be people who think you’re overreacting or being a jerk. when you try your best to be kind to everyone you meet, there will be people who think you’re being fake or that you desperately want to be liked. you won’t ever be able to be the best version of yourself if you live for other people, because that ‘best version’ is entirely subjective and therefore impossible to embody. be your personal best, your personal favorite, and you’ll attract people who will see you that way as well.

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when namjoon said “you need some time alone. myself who’s inside me is also my friend. this friend has lived with me for 23 years. this friend has been in me for 23 years, but i might not know this friend perfectly. so it’s important to take time to get to know this friend. being alone is not a weird thing. eating alone doesn’t mean you’re an outcast. since we’re born alone, we all need some time to be alone” i felt that

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That strange feeling of longing when you are at a train station, in a 24/7 open market, when you are buying a coke from a vending machine, watching the city lights glow from your window, when you're walking aimlessly on a busy street after 5 pm, that feeling as if something is missing in your life and it will never come back although it was never there in the first place; that inexplicable urban sadness.

[junastudies]

breakfast.

honey and bananas on toast is good.

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사는게 그런건가.

좋았던 시간의 기억 약간을 가지고

힘들 수 밖에 없는 대부분의 시간을 버티는 것.

[junastudies]

Please read/reblog!

Hi everyone!

Long story short, I was supposed to be able to register for my Spring 2020 classes this week. However, as you can see in the picture, I owe $761 in tuition. I will be unable to register for classes until this tuition is paid.

One problem with this is that I was unaware that I owed this amount until mid-September. This summer, I took two online classes. I didn’t have to worry about the cost at the time because financial aid covered it. In September, the university informed me that I had only been charged for one class and they now need the payment for the other class.

Paying this tuition would not have been a problem if I had been informed of the mistake earlier, as I could’ve saved up the money before November. This semester, I am having financial troubles because although I have a job, I also have a required unpaid internship that takes up a lot of my time, while also having to pay rent, make car and phone payments, and factoring in other necessities like gas and groceries, I am unable to work enough hours to make the extra money to pay $761. I do not even have the money for rent this month.

As school is important to me, it would mean a lot and relieve so much stress if anyone could help out by donating to my paypal, cashapp, or venmo!

Even if you can not donate, a reblog will help spread the word!

Cashapp: $brianna1x

Venmo: briannanicole6x

Paypal: paypal.me/brianna1x

You can also DM me for my apple pay!

$4.50/761 raised

Thank you so much everyone, please spread the word!