juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

There could never be enough.

As the days count down and you get closer to coming home to me I think about all the things we've shared and all the things we haven't. And I've realized; there could never be enough.

There could never be enough hours spent on a video call.

There could never be enough jokes told between us.

There could never be enough pictures we took thinking of each other.

There could never be enough time spent fantasizing about our life together.

There could never be enough tears shed between us.

There could never be enough nights spent apart that could keep us apart.

There could never be enough nights spent together to make up for that one breath I had to take without you here.

There could never be enough days spent as a family that will give you back the time you missed.

There could never be enough time you missed to make either of us lose another moment together.

There could never be enough ways to say I love you.

There could never be enough time to show you how much I love you.

There could never be enough words in the world to express what you are to me.

There could never be enough lines in a Tumblr post to fit all my feelings for you.

There could never be enough, unless I have you.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

I'll say anything to anyone if it means you're happier. I would personally apologize for the greatest tragedies of mankind if it so much as made your car ride to work better.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

The moment you walk in the door from work I'm there. I take your hand before you can form a response, and take you to the bathroom. I gently strip you of your human costume, kissing your soft flesh wherever I can. Once you're naked, I strip as well and lead you into the shower. I take special care and wash every part of you, whispering things like, "these lovely shoulders are going to be marked as mine soon.", "Your perfect skin is gonna look so good covered in bruises.", Or, as I kiss the soft part of your chest I described in my voice message earlier, "I'm gonna make you walk around with my name proudly displayed, aren't you imzadi?" When I've completely washed you, I hold our naked bodies together in the scalding water, I can feel the burn beat uncomfortably against my skin, but it means nothing when I bring my lips to yours. When we kiss, it's like everything outside the shower doesn't exist. No ex's, other partners, responsibilities, jobs, other people entirely. All that exists in my universe in that moment is you, me, and the shower were standing in. I continue to kiss you passionately for a few moments more before moving us out of the shower. Just outside I grab a towel and begin to tenderly dry your body from top to bottom, not worrying about myself until you're completely dry. With one hand I dry my hair and the other reaches up to your chin and pulls you so close our noses could touch, "Go stand and wait for me, imzadi," and you leave the bathroom...

When I've dried myself, I join you, and start to strap you into the st Andrews Cross I built specifically for you and your new apartment out here. First I strap you in with your back to me, whispering softly in your ear, "I want to make you lose your mind with pleasure." After I finish adjusting the last strap I step back and admire the view. Your freshly washed porcelain skin, how your wrists look in those straps, how the position your in highlights all my favorite parts of you. (which is all of you) I reach over and grab the blindfold from our nearly formed wall of toys, I turn your face to the side before giving you a kiss on the cheek. Then I grab the noise cancelling headphones, and as I slip them over your ears I whisper "I worship you." There you stand, restrained in darkness and silence, my words echoing in your head....

Time for the fun, I have laid out 4 items that in so very excited to torture you with because we get closer to the main event. A feather, a flog, a riding crop, and an electro wand. I take the feather and start to run it all along your back, ass, and thighs. So very gently I trace little circles all over. I savor the small whimpers and whines as you struggle to stay still. I start to softly alternate between the feather and my own hand, gently feeling every part of you and feeling each goosebump that's formed from the feathers touch. Occasionally, when overcome by your curves, I kneel down and kiss, nibble, and gently suck on whatever part of you that caught my eye. I run the feather down your spine so very slowly, followed by my fingers gently tracing behind, and finished with soft kisses down the same line until I'm kneeling behind you where I gently squeeze and jostle your perfect ass. After a moment I take a step back leaving you in suspense.

Without warning I switch and give you a layered smack from the flog on your ass. Quickly I swing the flog back upward catching the underside of your perfect ass. Without hesitation I match the strikes on the other cheek, a grin spreading across my face as the moans start to leave yours. I drag the leather strips up your back then down again. I start to give you constant circular swats with it encouraging more sounds of pleasure from you. I worship the small red welts that form on your ass and give them some soft kisses. I swing the flog back and forth very gently slapping your thighs, making sure I get the insides and outside of both your thighs. I don't swing hard enough to leave welts on your thighs, but enough to make them tingly.

I grab the wand and give you two light zaps on either ass cheek causing you to jump both times. Less from the pain and more from surprise. I give you a couple strikes from the flog, followed by a couple more zaps. I alternate like this till you're on your tip toes, you knees rubbing together to try and stimulate your pussy, dripping wet, and your moans devolving into whimpers and quiet, desperate pleas to touch you. Which I'll happily oblige.

I kneel behind you again and I reach between your legs and tease you softly, not fully engaging with your clit or entering you. Just teasing you to feel you squirm against me desperately trying to get more, which I don't allow. I start to kiss your thighs and ass as I tease you. Making sure every second feels like an eternity. Before long my hand is completely covered in your juices, and your mewling moans have surrendered completely to pathetic desperate pleading for more. Begging for me to fuck you. Screaming into the void to me, unable to perceive any kind of response except your continued pleasure. I decided to give in a little and massage your clit in small, slow, steady circles.

Now beg me for more imzadi.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

I hope I dream of you tonight.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

I know we're having a bit of a day, works super slammed for you, I'm just really tired. But I'm gonna try and post every day because my love for you doesn't stop on bad days. Here's a shitty poem that I thought of on the spot while smoking a blunt.

A beautiful Bee and a playful squiddy, share a glance and become giddy. "for why do you giggle, little wiggle?" "I saw you humming along, your wings flapping to their own song. And I thought, 'with them, nothing's wrong'" the Bee pause a moment, but "I think you're off your nut. Every creature has its flaws to give us some pause. A snake has no claws, and a fish no paws, and I myself wish I had hands for applause." The squid looked lovingly at the Bee, "then I wish I'd have whatever you had so we can hold them together forever"

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

I really wanna be sure to post about you every day. Dieties demand tribute. I'm just so ADHD.

If I could stop time, I'd spend eternity just sitting and talking with you.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

You come home from work, weary and drained. Any shred of patience you had has been decimated by a bullshit, mid-shift parking ticket. You're irate, and you think, "now I have to go back home to my soon to be ex and his new partner." Instead as you walk to the door you see a note on your doorstep.

"Hello, Imzadi.

I paid the two of them to leave and get a hotel. Come inside, there's a glass of wine, a warm bath, and your favorite show is on. Go. Relax. Put your phone on the table. No one out there is as important as the Bee reading this letter.

When you're done, I've picked out some clothes for you to wear. Put them on and come back into the living room. I'll be waiting...

Your eternal, cosmic love"

You walk inside to find a remarkably spotless home. Absolutely no clutter, dishes, trash. Not a responsibility in sight. And the part of you that refuses to give into the relaxation is really looking too. The only thing you see is a floor littered with sunflower petals and little LED candles illuminating an otherwise dimly sunlit living space. Following the trail of petals you find yourself in the bathroom with literally everything you could want in a self care night prepared in it's entirety for you in advance. So you get to work doing as you're told. You can be so obedient for me. You get undressed and start soaking in the specifically crafted bath soak made for you and you alone. (I know how sensitive your skin can be, that's why I'll take care of it for you) Once you find yourself settled, halfway through the wine glass and not even 10 minutes into your soak. I come in quietly and put a cooling mask over your eyes, a stark but welcome contrast to the warmth of the bath, refreshing even. You hear me rustle about for a moment, a smile spreading across your face silently moving your legs to accommodate me joining you in the tub. But I don't. Instead you feel something on your shoulder, my hand starts to wash your shoulders and chest. I take my time in thoroughly washing your body before giving you a kiss on the forehead before leaving without having said a word. There was no need. You knew exactly what I would do, and I know exactly what you need.

When you finish your self care you get dressed and come into the living room to.....

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

Your love for me is unending, and mine for you.

I fucking LOVE waking up to your voice messages. I could listen to it all morning. I could listen to it forever.

Somehow being apart from you feels okay, knowing that you're going to be here forever soon.

It makes me want to plan the future.

Look at land pricing, design the compound, design the house we want, design a house for you and Finn, and get to fuckin work building.

Idc if it seems crazy. I know I want you around for the rest of my life. No question in my mind. I wanna see your smile every single day. I wanna hold you in my arms every single day. I want to kiss you every single day. I want to entangle our lives permanently.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

I told myself I'd start with the sad one so your day can get progressively better here. I think it's important, not just here on this Tumblr, but in our relationship to acknowledge the bad. The negative. The hurt. The angry. And the hopeful.

This moment.

These texts.

This hurt.

It was so difficult. I know I was super understanding and composed. But inside I was breaking. It felt like it did during the divorce. I've always loved you with this radioactive intensity. That day felt like Chernobyl, but I forced myself to act like it was a stubbed toe instead cause I knew how much it hurt you too.

Part of me believes it was a genuine attempt to save his marriage. And that part respects that reasoning.

But the rest of me is insisting that it was an attempt to truly rip us apart. He saw how happy I made you. How authentically yourself you were becoming. And he didn't like that. Because he can control *redacted* but he couldn't dream of controlling Bee. And he saw the small changes in you. The pushing back against things, the correcting him, the downturn of negative self talk, the uptick in positive self love. He saw how things would change if he continued letting you flourish under the warmth of my love. And he HAD to fix that. So he did what he could, the only thing he's really good at other than disappointing you, he leveraged his insecurities into convincing you to relinquish control.

But that was long ago. We're here now. And happy. And thriving. And we'll continue to do exactly that 🥰🥰

I love you, Imzadi.

I always have.

I always will.

And no one in this world is strong enough to take that from you.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

He'll never know how it feels to love you like this. If I'm honest, I hope that eats him up much more than seeing how you love me. Because the way I feel about you.... It's immense and overwhelming and beautiful, but as familiar and as comforting as my voice in my head. I know I've felt love before. But this is unique. It's like finding your mirror, your copy, fuck, even my own soul inhabiting another body, living another life, loving me as you. He'll never know how it feels to love you like I do. He isn't capable. Not that he can't love. I love you like life loves light and warmth. So much has come into my life recently and filled my heart with light and strength. You will always be one of those things. This feeling is like electricity running through me. Like I'm vibrating. Like... Lol, well it's like I have a swarm of Bees in my blood :3

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

Remember that time you almost got arrested for picking flowers for me at all of the stops on your drive to see me? I'll never ever forget that. Tbh it's even more beautiful than that bouquet ever could have been.

[juniper-bee-plz-sacrifice-me]

The way you make me feel when you say things like this is indescribable. My heart soars with the primordial intensity of the first creatures to grow wings. You are as mysterious as the cosmos, and as familiar as my own body.