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junsubutt-blog · 12 years ago

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Title: But I'm a Cheerleader

Author: jaejoong@lj Pairing: YunJae Rating: R Genre: Crack, Humor Length: 5/5 Summary: Kim Jaejoong, the head of the high school cheerleading squad, is a very straight boy. Unfortunately for him, he's the only one that thinks that way. When his desperate parents send him to a "Kim Junsu's Paradise Meadow Ranch Designed for Turning Gay People Straight", Jaejoong meets the rebellious Jung Yunho and starts to think that maybe people have been right about him all along...

Kim Jaejoong wasn't gay. Sure he was captain of his high school cheerleading squad; had a not-so-secret affinity for pretty, ruffly underwear (you try living with 8 sisters and seeing if plain old boxers still appeal to you); and spent more time on his hair and clothes every morning than all the bitches lovely ladies on his squad combined. But none of that made him gay. Because gay people didn't have one thing that he did. Hyori. Every stereotypical high school couple consisted of a cheerleader and a sports jock. Only this time things were reversed. Jaejoong was the cheerleader and Hyori was the star female soccer player, who was infamous more for her revered S line than for her athletic skills (because, truthfully, who could pay attention to some silly game when a pair of honey thighs in short shorts came running by) And not only was Hyori hot and athletic and popular, she was Jaejoong's ticket to proving that he wasn't gay. Gay people didn't have girlfriends as sexy as Hyori... nor did they have girlfriends at all, actually. So to Jaejoong, it was just common logic. Having girlfriend=not gay. Plain and simple. ...Unfortunately he was the only person who seemed to think that... ~~~***~~~ "Yo Jae, did you check out the new kid in class? Siwon? He is fine" Jae cringed as his so-called best friend Donghae slipped into the seat next to him. Donghae was sweet kid despite the fact he had moppy hair and a penchant for wearing socks with sandals (something that made Jaejoong legitimately want to throw up) "Hae. I saw the new student. But I have not checked him out." Jaejoong whispered through his teeth. "What? Why not? It's not every day that you get to see a beauty like that. And our uniform pants are totally working for him. Have you ever noticed how they cinch right under the..." "Donghae!! No I have not noticed how our school uniform pants cinch right under the crotch area. Nor have I noticed that they make Siwon look like he has an ass firmer than granite, okay?" Donghae just stared at his best friend for a few seconds before bursting out into laughter. "Wow, Jae. You are so gay!" Jaejoong blanched and promptly hit Donghae's head with his textbook. "I am not!" "You are too! I never even said anything about Siwon's granite ass. You brought that up yourself!" "That doesn't mean anything," Jaejoong sniffed. "Nah, Jae. I'm pretty sure straight guys don't talk about granite asses...which Siwon most certainly has. Good call." Heechul cooed as he plopped down in the seat next to Donghae. Heechul was Jaejoong's other best friend, and also the school's most notorious figure. With his feminine face and penchant for putting his long hair up in pink bows; it became a running competition to see how long it would take new students to realize that Heechul was actually a boy. The last new student had gone for nearly half a semester before realizing that there was a reason Heechul always chose to use the guys locker room after gym. Jaejoong thought it might take this Siwon kid even longer. Granite ass or not, the new boy looked a bit dull. "Chul, just because I can see that a man's ass is firm doesn't make me gay." Jaejoong said. "Yeaaahhh, that's one of the gayest things I've ever heard." Donghae said, "and that's saying a lot since we're friends with Heechul." "But...but I have a girlfriend!" Jaejoong said, falling back on his old defense. "Sure, a girlfriend that you don't do anything with," Heechul snorted. "I do things with her!" Jaejoong cried, trying to defend himself, "just yesterday I went over to her house and..." "Did you go to her bedroom?" Donghae asked, making a face like he was disgusted at the thought of being in a girl's room (which, in truth, he was). "Uh...yeah..." Jaejoong answered. "OMO! Did you guys...you know...do it?" Heechul asked, while Donghae looked as though he was going to puke in the background. "What? No!" Jaejoong answered quickly, "I just helped give her a manicure and then we gossiped a bit about the mysterious woman who was seen coming out of Kang seongsaengnim's office yesterday, and...' "Yeah. That confirms it. You're gay. And that mysterious woman was me," Heechul breathed out, not even trying to stop himself from rolling his eyes at his best friend. "I'm not ga....wait? What? YOU?" "YOU are the mysterious woman who's been trying to seduce our homeroom teacher?" Donghae asked with wide eyes. The answer to that, however, was seen as Kang seongaengnim walked into the room, blushing and giggling like a school boy as his eyes landed on Heechul. Jaejoong felt his breakfast come up. "Chul! You are nasty! He's like...80 years old," Donghae whispered. "He's 40. And How do you think I'm getting top marks without ever studying?" "I always wondered that, "Jaejoong said, "at first I thought you were just smart, but then I realized that all those hair products you use probably kill your brain cells." "Well at least I'm getting some, unlike you," Heechul shot back. "It's not like I can't get some," Jaejoong hisses back, "I just don't want to get some." Both Heechul and Donghae looked at their friend like he was an alien. "Jae...you're a teenage boy. The only thing your brain should be wired for is sex." "I mean, I'm interested in sex, you know," Jaejoong said, rambling on, "like really, really interested. But the thought of having to stick my...thing...into someone else makes me physically ill and I feel like I want to throw up and that's not very sexy and usually puts me out of the mood..." ChulHae shared a secret look before turning back to their best friend. "So you're saying that you want to have sex but without having to stick your cock into another person..." Heechul asked slowly. "Yeah! Is that strange?" "Nah," Dognhae answered, "it's not strange at all. In fact, there's a really simple name for people like you." "Really?" Jaejoong's eyes sparkled. "What??" "Ukes." "Huh?" Jaejoong asked, completely confused. Heechul smiled creepily and placed a hand on his friends shoulder. "Congrats, Jae. You're a bottom" ~~~***~~~ Jaejoong was in a dark mood the rest of the day after having to spend his whole first block being the butt end (no pun intended, of course) of all sorts of "uke jokes". Donghae and Heechul were relentless in their teasing. "Some friends they are," Jaejoong muttered bitterly, feeling betrayed. Those two were like Brutus...only gay and probably a lot hotter (the robes and scraggly beard look that all men in ancient Rome had really did nothing to help in the looks department). Even a high energy cheerleading practice didn't put Jaejoong in a better mood, and by the time it finally finished, the boy wanted nothing other than a hot bath. With lavender bath bubbles. Those things were calming as hell... Sighing, Jaejoong stripped out of his practice shirt and placed it on his metal rack in the locker room. "Dude, Jae. I saw your girlfriend earlier today," cried out Taekyung. Taekyung was another male cheerleader on the team, but his muscular build and crass way of talking always spared him from "gay cheerleader" talk. "Oh really?" Jaejoong asked, not really caring. Hyori went to their school after all. Seeing her around wasn't a big deal. It wasn't like U Know from DBSK was walking around campus or something... now THAT would be something worth mentioning. "yeah, before she went to practice. She was coming out of dressing room. You are one lucky man, you know. Her rack is awesome." Jaejoong furrowed his eyebrows, looking back at the metal rack he had just placed his shirt on. Ri's rack is awesome? But all school athletes get the same kind, what's so special about h....his mind was completely baffled until he finally realized what Taekyung was talking about. "Oh...you're talking about her...breasts..." "Duh, Jae. Like I said, you are way lucky. Her S line...wow." Jaejoong nodded his head, not trusting himself to say anything. He knew that all the rest of the guys in school (minus Heechul and Donghae) treasured Hyori's S line, but truthfully Jaejoong didn't see anything great about it. He was never one that got excited over...breasts. (he didn't even like the word). They were just kind of useless, in Jaejoong's opinion--getting in the way when the female cheerleaders tried to do flips or tucks. However, Jaejoong was saved from having to carry on an awkward conversation with Taekyung by the entrance of Siwon. The new boy had just come out of the showers wearing nothing but a low slung towel-- all of his muscles wet and on full display. Jaejoong's eyes widened and his mind exploded a bit. I must be really jealous of his body or something for my mind to be going crazy like this, the pretty boy thought to himself. "Oh hi you two," Siwon said with a winning smile, "i just got out practice." Practice? What kind of practice? Showering practice? Practice on how to walk around looking like a dripping wet Greek God with... Jaejoong shook his head, frowning at the strange thoughts that seemed to enter it. He blamed it on the fact that he had eight pervy sisters and two gay best friends. "This school has a lot of hot girls, doesn't it?" Siwon asked, prancing around in that little towel as though it was just the most natural thing in the world. "Yeah. Jae here has the hottest one though. Hyori." Taekyung answered. "Oh yeah. She's smoking," Siwon answered back with a laugh. Jaejoong felt awkward and out of place, as he always did with these type of coversations. "But I have my eyes on another girl." "Who?" Jaejoong asked, seeing a way for him to get into the conversation; because he didn't care about girl talk but he did love to hear some good gossip. "Heechul. That girl is a freaking babe. Strange name but her face makes up for it!" Siwon answered. Jaejoong's eyes grew wide and Taekyung snickered to himself. "Yeah...Heechul is the queen of our school," Jaejoong answered, his voice sounding chocked. "More like the queer of our school," Taekyung muttered under his breath, causing Jaejoong to become enraged. "Watch your mouth, Taek." Jaejoong said coldly, "you wouldn't want to be kicked off of the sqad because of your stupid words." Taekyung looked up at his captain, genuinely confused, "woah, man. I know he's your friend and all...but it's not like I said anything bad. Even Heechul calls himself that." Jaejoong just shook his head, knowing that it was true. Heechul called himself the 'queer of the school' all the time, sometimes even adding it to the end of his name as though it was an official title. But there was just something...maybe it was the scornful way that Taekyung had said 'queer' or something like that...but something had just made Jaejoong's insides burn, as though he was the one being insulted. Shaking his head, the pretty boy just walked out of the locker room, leaving behind a very confused Taekyung and Siwon behind. ...It was only when he had walked halfway back home that Jaejoong realized he hadn't ever put his shirt back on... ~~~***~~~ "Woah, JaeJae. What's up with going half naked? Are you trying to seduce the neighborhood boys or something?" Jaejoong's noona asked as soon as the boy walked through the door to his house. "I'm not gay!!" Jaejoong shouted out, wondering why nobody would believe him. His friends were bad enough, but his family was even worse. "Sure you're not dear," Jaejoong's mother called out from the kitchen, "that's why you asked your dad and I to enroll you in a ballet class." "It's so I can get more graceful and limber for cheerleading!" Jaejoong cried out, regretting the words as soon as he heard snickers coming from noona #3 in the next room. "Whatever, I'm going to my room" the boy grumbled, walking up the stairs. He narrowly avoided running into noona #6 who has for some reason chosen the staircase as a place to read her yaoi manga books. Sighing, Jaejoong reached his room. He stepped inside only to find a stack of magazines near his door. Confused, the boy picked them up and looked at the tiles. "Playboy for Girls; "G-men"; "Fun times with Male Friends" Jaejoong said, reading out the titles, cringing as he came across one that was just named "Butt" All of the magazines had pictures of muscly men on the covers and he noted in suprise when he saw that the man on the cover of "Butt" had quite the granite ass. He was about to open the magazine to get a letter look at that booty when his father suddenly burst out of his closet. "WE'VE GOT HIM, SAE YOUNG. HE TOOK THE BAIT!" the man cried out. Jaejoong dropped the magazine in surprise. "Appa! What are..." Jaejoong's question was interrupted by his mother walking into the room at a fast pace, followed closely by noonas #3-6 "See, Dong Woon. I told you that we just needed to put out the magazines." "What's happening?" Jaejoong asked, ignoring his sisters' giggling and smug looks. "Well...this might come as a surprise to you, Jaejoongie, but for a while your father and I have thought you were...well...interested in men." Jaejoong's mother said. "Oh yeah, big surprise," Jaejoong muttered..."so you're telling me that you and appa went out and bought gay magazines and left them in my room just to see if I would pick them up or not?" "Well...yes, son." Jaejoong's father said. "Didn't you get weird looks when you went out and bought all these magazines?" Jaejoong asked. "Uh...yeah. Kind of. I also got a phone number from the store clerk," Jaejoong's father said sheepishly, "he was a very feminine man. Was wearing a pink scarf and had his hair tied up in little bows." Jaejoong stood his ground, trying to not go bash his head on the door over the fact that Heechul had tried to hit on his father. "But that doesn't matter, Jaejoongie," Jaejoong's mother said, "actually...this is an intervention that we've staged for you." "Intervention?" Jaejoong asked with raised eyebrows, "Like the kind you do with alcoholic and drug addicts?" "Yes," his father said solemnly, "only this is a gay intervention." "Gay intervention?" "An intervention...for people who are gay." Jaejoong's mother said, sounding just as solemn. "But...but I'm not gay!" Jaejoong cried out. "Pretending now isn't going to get you out of going to rehab, Jaejoongie," his mother said. "Rehab?" "Yes," his father said, taking a bright pink pamphlet out of his pocket, "your umma and I have already signed you up for KJPMRDFTGPS" "KJP...what? What kind of crap acronym is that?" "It stands for Kim Junsu's Paradise Meadow Ranch Designed For Turning Gay People Straight." Jaejoong gaped at his parents, "You two signed me up to go to a ranch to turn me straight?" "A Paradise Meadow Ranch, son," his father said, showing him the pamphlet. "We know how hard it is to be a gay male in Korea, so your father and I decided that this was the best thing for you to do." his mother said with shining eyes. Jaejoong just pouted, scrunching his perfectly plucked brows together. "I am straight!! And there is no way that you can do anything to make me go to this retarded ranch!!" ~~~***~~~ Kim Junsu's Paradise Meadow Ranch Designed For Turning Gay People Straight was much like any other ranch, Jaejoong decided as he walked into the entrance carrying his glitter pink luggage (a goodbye gift from Heechul). The main building was made out of logs and had a very rustic feeling. In fact, the only strange thing about the place were the various, colorful posters on the walls-- proclaiming things from "Remember guys, Kissing boys is yucky" to "having sex with men is okay!...as long as you're a girl!" Jaejoong shuddered, mentally cursing his parents. The two of them had threatened to take away Jaejoong's credit card had he not gone to the camp until he became straight...and Jaejoong felt like spending a bit of time at some sort of paradise meadow place was worth it in order to keep his weekly shopping sprees intact. After all, he was already straight, so they wouldn't keep him there for long... "So you're the new guy, huh?" Jaejoong turned around to see a boy his own age mulling around. "I'm Jung Yunho and I....." the boy trailed off as he got a good look at Jaejoong's face, small almond eyes bugging out at the sight of pale skin, plump lips, and doe eyes presented to him. Normally Jaejoong would gloat over the fact that his beauty had stunned a man into silence, but he was too busy having a mental freakout himself. Because this kid...whoever he was...was gorgeous. For a fleeting (very, very fleeting) moment Jaejoong thought the kid could even be better looking than him. He was tall, had perfectly styled auburn hair, a small face with a bow mouth, and a granite ass that made Siwon's look flat and lumpy. He wore torn jeans, lots of chains, and a black t-shirt with bleeding skulls drawn on it. And for some reason Jaejoong thought it was a million times sexier than Hyori's booty shorts and halter tops. "Uh...uh...I'm Jung Yunho," the boy said when he finally got back his right mind, offering a beautiful hand out to the pretty boy. Jaejoong nearly fainted when he saw the long, scuplted fingers. He had always had a finger fetish. "Um...I'm Kim Jaejoong," the pretty boy breathed out, grabbing the other hand and pumping it furiously. Yunho shot him a sly look, "well...it's quite nice having you here then, Jaejoong." Jaejoong nodded his head, automatically agreeing with the boy's words. "Dear lord, I'm screwed," Jaejoong breathed out. The only thing was...he didn't know how literal his words would get in the coming days...

"You know, you really don't have to follow me. I doubt I'll get lost in a room the size of a jail cell," Jaejoong sighed as he felt a warm presence lingering scarce centimeters away from his back. He was currently unpacking all of his belongings into his tiny room and for some reason Yunho insisted on 'helping' him.

"You've been to jail before? Cool." Yunho's voice was husky and rich and Jaejoong thought it would be a whole lot sexier if wasn't right up in his ear. Not that he disliked having a silky smooth voice crooning in his ear, but he could feel Yunho's breath all up against his neck and truthfully it was a little creepy. After all, the two of them had only met a couple of minutes before... "I've never been to jail before...I've just seen them in movies and things," Jaejoong mumbled as he placed a picture of himself and Hyori on the desk. "I've always wondered what jail would be like," Yunho continued with a wicked smile, "I heard that they do...you know..things there. It sounds like fun" "It sounds like fun to get raped in a jail cell?" Jaejoong asked, assuming that was the..thing...Yunho was talking about. "Well after being celibate for six months....yeah, it does," Yunho said, shrugging is shoulders in an off-hand manner. "Is that how long you've been here? Six months?" "It seems that we have a genius in our midsts," Yunho smirked. Jaejoong was about to retort when a man suddenly bounced into the room, wearing a wide smile and a blue shirt with "KJPMRDFTGPS" written on it in faded grey letters. "Hello there. You must be the new camper, Kim Jaejoong! Do you like my shirt?" "Uh, sure, it's nice" Jaejoong answered awkwardly, taken aback at the sudden question. "I like it too. Blue and grey are very manly colors. Much better than pink or rainbow, right?" "Rainbow isn't a color, you idiot," Yunho drawled from the corner of the room. The man turned and frowned deeply. "Jung Yunho! What are you doing here? You know campers aren't allowed in each other's rooms! That's the first rule of KJPMRDFTGPS!" "Really? I've always thought the first rule was that none of the campers could molest your delicious duck butt." The man, and Jaejoong, looked scandalized at Yunho's throwaway statement. "You...You! Is that any way to talk to the director of this camp?!?" Director? Jaejoong thought with raised eyebrows, so was this the infamous Kim Junsu? "Kim Junsu-sshi?" Jaejoong asked, causing the sputtering man to turn away from Yunho. "Ah, yes. I haven't introduced myself yet! I'm Kim Junsu! Founder of KJPMRDFTGPS and head counselor. I'll be the one monitoring all of your progress and...oh my god sun!! What is this???" Jaejoong looked on, confused, as Junsu made his way over to the desk and grabbed Hyori's picture with trembling hands. "Oh, that's me and my girlfriend," Jaejoong said casually. Yunho snorted aloud, eyes turning dark. Junsu, on the other hand, beamed widely and started to get a bit teary. "You have a girlfriend?" Junsu asked, sounding as though Christmas had come early. "Of course he doesn't," Yunho answered for Jaejoong, "if he did why would be in a gay camp in the first place? Jaejoong is gay" The boy's voice sounded demanding and hard. "I actually do have a girlfriend," Jaejoong answered back, glaring at Yunho, "she's been my girlfriend for the past year now but for some reason my parents still think I'm gay. They're the ones that forced me to come here." "What do you and your girlfriend usually do on dates, Jaejoong?" Junsu asked. "Huh? Well we usually gossip and go shopping. I help her pick out all her accessories. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I have pretty awesome taste. Oh, and sometimes we go to the pet store and just look at the puppies. Or she helps me choreograph new cheer routines...I'm the captain of my school squad!" Both Yunho and Junsu looked at Jaejoong with wide eyes. "What?" Junsu sighed while Yunho just snickered. "Told you, kamo," Yunho said to the counselor, "that kid is as gay as I am. "You just seem like you're a little confused, Jaejoong-ah," Junsu said kindly, "but don't worry, that's what you're here for." "Yeah," Yunho said casually, slipping his arm around Junsu's shoulders (Jaejoong didn't know why but he suddenly felt infuriated at that gesture) "Kamo and I will help you get over your confusion." "Stop calling me that," Junsu said, scowling as he threw off Yunho's arm (Jaejoong mentally cheered), "plus I think you and I have very different ideas about helping Jaejoong." "It's such a shame that you're wasting your life running this kind of place," Yunho said to Junsu, sighing dramatically, "you're surrounded by a bunch of gay boys while you have that kind of ass..." Jaejoong had to kind of agree with Yunho; Junsu's backside was part of the very rare 'rotund' variety that would probably drive many gay men crazy. Jaejoong himself didn't really find it attractive because he wasn't into the "bouncy, big butt thing" ....and because he wasn't gay. Yeah, that was probably one of the reasons too. However, Yunho's ass.... Jaejoong shook his head quickly, trying to stop his mind from wandering to places it most certainly wasn't supposed to be going. He tried to envision Hyori walking around in her teeny tiny shorts, yet for some reason Hyori's face became longer and her hair became shorter and a little mole appeared on top of her now bow-lips. It took a few seconds before Jaejoong realized that his mind was instead envisioning Yunho. He didn't know whether to be thankful or disappointed that in his mind Yunho looked scary and utterly disturbing in short shorts. "Well, Jaejoong, I'll leave you to get unpacked in peace," Junsu said, interrupting Jaejoong's thoughts, "dinner will be in two hours and I'll send another one of the campers to come get you." "I suppose this is where I have to leave too," Yunho sighed after Junsu shot him a dangerous look, "I'll see you at dinner, Jae-ah." Junsu frowned at how casual Yunho was already becoming with the new boy. Yunho just grinned at the counselor. "Kamo, Come on," he said airily, slapping Junsu's butt and and winking at Jaejoong before exiting the room in a flurry of clanking chains and giggles. Jaejoong just closed his eyes and shook his head. He didn't know what he was going to do about this Jung Yunho person... He wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, but it seemed that Yunho would make things quite difficult for him ~~~***~~~ Jae finished unpacking in a relatively short amount of time (after all, he didn't bring much since he planned on being there only for a while). With nearly an hour and a half left until dinner started, Jaejoong decided that it would be a good idea to explore a little. The ranch was a pretty normal looking place. If Jaejoong didn't know any better, he wouldn't even suspect that it was an area designed for turning 'gay people straight'. There weren't any huge crosses on the walls, nor people jumping out pressing pictures of boobs (ewww) into his face. "Maybe staying here for a while won't be so bad," Jaejoong mussed as he walked down the halls, smiling a the worn wooden flooring the view of rolling hills outside his window. It was peaceful. Calming. He could get used to it. Grinning, Jaejoong opened a door near him, curious as to what it would hold. He expected to see a quaint little room filled with sunshine and happiness and unicorns... Instead he was faced with the image of two boys huddled on a couch, sucking each other's faces off. Jaejoong knew that gay guys kissed each other. He was friends with Heechul and Donghae, after all. Kissing other guys was all those two talked about. But this was the first time Jaejoong actually saw two men going at it. And there was tongues. And salvia. And moans!! And...omo...omo, where where their hands going? Hands where meant for putting rings or helping old ladies cross the street...they weren't meant for sticking down other peoples' pants!! Jaejoong stood still for a moment. Not knowing what to do. But then he heard a zipper start coming undone and he knew he couldn't just stand there anymore. Because zippers were coming undone, which means pants would be coming off, and then maybe underwear would come off too and...NO! He didn't need to see some guy's butts and other junk when he was already feeling so confused. So Jaejoong did the first thing that came to mind. He screamed. Really loudly. The two boys jumped apart from each other, eyes wide as though they had just been caught trying to have sex toegther...oh wait...that's exactly what had happened. They looked around and saw Jaejoong. Both seemed rather relieved that it was just some new kid that had screamed and not one of the counselors But Jaejoong's screams, unfortunately attracted the attention of others. The most important "other" being kamo butt Kim Junsu himself. The director burst into the room as though he was afraid Jaejoong had stumbled across a dead body. But when he got a look of the two boys on the couch with their sexed up hair and no shirts and unzipped pants, Junsu looked as though he would have much rather seen a dead body instead. "Park Yoochun...Shim Changmin! This is the third time in a week that I've caught you doing....this..." "Doing what, Junsu?" the taller of the two boys on the couch asked, eyes dark, "can't you even say the word?" "uh...that thing that you two do...why do I need to say it?" Junsu asked, looking flustered. "Yeah, spoken like a true virgin," the other boy said with a snort. Jaejoong stared on at the scene. He was beginning to think that Junsu had a real lack of authority over his campers. "You two boys are never going to learn are you?" Junsu said with a sigh, "I don't think there is anything I can do with you..." "Then why don't you just kick us out then?" the taller boy asked smugly. Junsu put his head in his hands, "I think I will. There's nothing else I can do. Yoochun, Changmin...you aren't welcome here anymore..." "Wait..what?" the taller guy asked again, "you're really kicking us out?" "Yes, Changmin. I am. We can't have you going around traumatizing new campers like Jaejoong here." Jaejoong winced. He had really hoped Junsu wouldn't say his name. Now Yoochun and Changmin might try to stalk him and kill him or...even worse, stick their hands down his pants! "Well fine then. Minnie and I will leave," the smaller man (who Jaejoong assume was Yoochun) said as he got up. He grabbed Changmin's hand, "have fun not getting any of our parents money anymore" "The money I make off of you is less than the money I loose from the boys that both of you corrupt," Junsu said, sounding assertive for the first time, "you're really hurting buisiness for me, you know? How am I supposed to run a camp for turning gay people straight if my campers are going at it everywhere?" "Okay, Junsu. Whatever." Changmin said, walking past the head counselor and Jaejoong, "but don't think this is the last you'll hear from us" And just like that both him and Yoochun walked out...shirtless... Jaejoong stared after them, wondering if he had just ruined two people's lives by screaming. Would they have places to go now? Could they go back home? Would their parents accept them? "Sorry if those two scared you, Jaejoong. They can get like that a lot," Junsu said with a sigh as he stared off after Yoochun and Changmin, "they really are lost causes." Jaejoong shook his head, not knowing what to think. Maybe being here really wasn't something he was cut out for... ~~~***~~~ Sitting outside was the only way Jae felt like he could stay out of trouble. It wasn't as though people would just come up and start making out in front of him....he hoped... "Yo, what are you doing out here?" Jaejoong suppressed a groan as he heard Yunho's now familiar voice. "Staying out of trouble," Jaejoong anwered without turning around. He felt another body sitting next to him. Very close to him. Close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating from Yunho's strong muscles. And he could smell Yunho too! Strong, expensive cologne. Jaejoong decided he quite liked it. "You got into trouble already? Damn, and I thought you were a straight boy?" Yunho asked with raised eyebrows. "I am. I got two other kids kicked out today," Jaejoong said. "Ohh, you mean YooMin? They were going to get kicked out one way or another." Yunho said. "YooMin?" "Yeah, that's what all the campers called them. it was their couples name. Just like we're YunJae." Yunho said. Jaejoong looked up with wide eyes. "What? Since when did we have a couples name?" "Since I told everybody that I went to your room today," Yunho said with a shrug. "You did what??" Jaejoong asked, hitting Yunho on the shoulder...hard. "Yah! Relax. It's a cute name anyways. Unless you would rather it be JaeHo." Yunho said with a creepy smile. "What's the difference?" Jaejoong asked, pouting. Yunho's smile just became wider. "Nothing at all.." he said, "either way, I top." Jaejoong's pout grew deeper. "if you're talking about sex stuff, I don't want to do any of it!" "Oh really?" Yunho asked, leaning closer in, "well how about we start slow then?" Jaejoong's heart stopped for a moment, his senses filled with hard muscles and heat and that wonderful strong cologne smell...and then Yunho's perfect slender hands were on his cheeks and...omo! What was that on his mouth? Oh wait...it was Yunho's lips... Jaejoong had always though kisses would be nasty. Because who would want someone's gross saliva all up on their mouth? But for some reason, kissing Yunho was good. Really good. Like finding the perfect pair of boots on sale type of good. Or having Heechul not hit on your family members type of good. Yeah, that good. And in the back on Jaejoong's mind something was telling him that everything was wrong with the current situation. Because he had just met Yunho, and Yunho was creepy, and god dammit, Jaejoong was straight!! But then Yunho did something with his tongue and Jaejoong couldn't hep but moan. "Kim Junsu is going to hate me forever," was the last thing that went through Jaejoong's mind before Yunho's perfect hand slipped into his hair and after that nothing really made much sense anymore... ~~~***~~~ Jaejoong was awoken at 6 in the morning the next day, dreams and memories of Yunho's gentle kisses still ringing in his head. He didn't really know how long he had been outside kissing, but he did know that he had never felt better before in his life. And that was a scary thought, because Jaejoong started to wonder if he really was gay afterall... straight guys didn't enjoy kissing other guys did they? "Omo, I'm just like YooMin now!" Jaejoong gasped, his hands flying to his lips. His guilt returned thinking about those two boys he had kicked out of the house. Maybe this was karma for that? God wanted to punish him by making his body addicted to Yunho's kisses. Yeah, that was probably it.... "Rise and Shine, Jaejoong" Junsu called from outside the room, sounding much too happy and bright for 6am. "It's time to start your rehab treatment," Jaejoong gulped deeply, wondering what in the world this treatment would consist of. I wonder if Yunho will be there at this too, Jaejoong thought. Because if Yunho was there, then this treatment would be quite interesting....

Jaejoong decided that 6:30 in the morning was too early for many things. It was too early to be awake, it was too early to be faced with a overly excited Kim Junsu... And most of all, it was too early to be sitting in an awkward circle, straight across from the very person that he has made out with the night before. Unfortunately some forces in the universe had decided that today would not be Kim Jaejoong's lucky day, so he found himself awkwardly shifting in his colorful plastic seat, barely listening to Junsu's ramblings as he fixed his eyes on anything in the room that wasn't Jung Yunho. "So you're the new camper, huh?" Jaejoong's eyes snapped up from the fascinating potted cactus that he had been staring at. He found the boy in the chair next to him looking at him with a bright smile. "Huh?" "Kim Jaejoong," the boy explained, "the new camper; Yunho's boyfriend; the kid that got YooMin kicked out of the camp. That's you, right?" "Oh, right," Jaejoong answered. But then everything the other boy said dawned on him, "wait...what? Yunho's what?" "Boyfriend," the boy repeated, "Yunho was telling us at dinner last night how he was in your room and how that you guy were now going to be the YunJae couple." Jaejoong started sputtering in protest and Junsu decided to cut in, "Jaejoong doesn't have a boyfriend. In fact he has a girlfriend! Don't you, Jaejoong-sshi?" "Uh...yes, I do," Jaejoong answered once he composed himself. "Great then you can tell us about yourself and your girlfriend," Junsu said happily, "since you're the new camper, I'm sure the rest of the camper are so excited to get to know you!" Jaejoong looked around at the rest of the "campers". Most of them were inconspicuously sleeping in their chairs and the rest of them were looking as though they would rather be drilling their brains out with a screwdriver than sitting there. In fact, the only person who was showing any interest was Yunho and Jaejoong could feel the other boy's leer from across the circle. "Fine," Jaejoong grumbled, standing up, "My name is Kim Jaejoong. I'm 17. My best friends are named Lee Donghae and Kim Heechul, except sometimes I pretend like Heechul isn't my friend because he likes to hit on my dad and do other gross things like that. Um...I'm captain of our school cheerleading team. And not to brag or anything but we're kind of the best squad in all of Seoul. We have medals to prove it and everything." Jaejoong just sputtered off awkwardly. "Anything else to say, Jaejoong-shhi?' Junsu pressed. "Uh, sure. My favorite color is pink. I have a lot of pink clothes because I have eight sisters and usually get their hand-me-downs. They try to give me a lot of their old things, actually. Like their yaoi manga collections. But I don't read those kind of things...well, actually I did one time but that was only because of the characters looked a lot like me and the other character had a reallly nicely drawn anatomy and..." "Okay, Jaejoong-sshi," Junsu said, quickly cutting off the boy's ramblings, "how about you tell us about your girlfriend now. Maybe after hearing your great stories about your girlfriend, the other boys here will want to get one too!" "I don't think it quite works like that, Junsu-sshi," Jaejoong said, a little confused. "Of course it does, Jaejoong-sshi. Kind of like how I tell these boys how awesome it is to kiss girls then they will want to go out and do it themselves." Judging by the disgusted looks of all the boys as soon as Junsu said "kiss girls" Jaejoong figured that Junsu's rehab methods needed a lot of work. "Now tell them about your girlfriend, Jaejoong-sshi," Junsu said. "He doesn't have a girlfriend," a boy from the back of the circle called out, "he's even gayer than you are Junsu." "I am not gay!" both Jaejoong and Junsu cried out at the same time. "Wow...they're like twins," another boy whispered. "Gay twins." "Super gay twins." "Yah! Rule number five of the Paradise Meadow Ranch is that you can't make fun of the lead counselor," Junsu pouted, standing up so that his scolding could have the full effect. That was mistake number one... "Ah, it seems as though the duck butt has made its appearance," Yunho called, finally speaking. Before, he had just been leaning back in his chair, inspecting Jaejoong and the rest of the boys with amused eyes. "Hello duck butt," the rest of the campers chimed out in perfect unison. Jaejoong's eyes widened at their impeccable timing. It was like some sort of cult chant or something. "Stop that~" Junsu whined, pouting and huffing like some sort of five year old child. "Then you should stop having these retarded 'bonding circle' times," Yunho drawled out, "I don't really see what you expect to get out of bringing together a bunch of gay boys and talking about how great it is to have sex with girls. Unless you want to make us all throw up or something like that..." "What! I never talk about those kind of things," Junsu whispered, looking pale at the thought. "You don't like it when I say the word sex, Kamo?" Yunho asked with a haughty smirk, "or maybe you just don't like when I say sex with girls." Junsu paled even further, looking as though he was about to faint. "You know, maybe it's too early to do this discussion circle," the head counselor finally said, "how about we all just take a break for a little while. But don't forget, we have our group sauna and lecture time in the afternoon. And this evening we have our daily interpretive dance perfomance. Today we're going to preform my self choreographed dance, 'The Boy Who Thought He was Gay until He Met a Girl and Realized how Great She Was'." "Man, we do that dance everyday," one of the boys mumbled as they all started to file out of the room. Jaejoong just shook his head, wondering what kind of lecture could take place in a sauna.. ~~~***~~~ "So how did you like your first treatment?" Yunho asked, leaning against Jaejoong's doorframe. "You aren't supposed to be here," Jaejoong gritted out, "and was that seriously a treatment?" "Yeah. Just wait until we get to the sauna lecture. All of us practically naked and sweaty and in a small area together..." Jaejoong just raised his eyebrows, "are you sure that this place is really supposed to turn gay boys straight and not the other way around?" "Why?" Yunho asked with a slow smile, "are you feeling yourself turning gay?" "No!" Jaejoong said quickly...well, technically, he had turned more gay after coming to the ranch. After all, he never really kissed any other guys before he came to the place... "Just give it time, then," Yunho said lightly, "Junsu is a nice guy but he's really a failure at running this kind of camp." "I suppose any gay rehab camp that only has a bunch of boys and no girls in one place is going to fail," Jaejoong observed cleverly. "Nah, we have one girl here. Hyo Jin." "Hyo Jin?" Jaejoong asked, scrunching his forehead, "oh, was that the person in the striped shirt with the long hair that was sitting next to you this morning?" "Nah, that's just Taemin," Yunho said, waving his hand, "Hyo Jin is a big ballon that Junsu drew a face and stuck fake eyelashes on. We're supposed to practice kissing with her." "You're supposed to practice kissing...with a balloon?" "Yeah," Yunho said, shaking his head, "it kind of sucks, though, because her fake eyelashes are freaking sharp and they stab into your skin. Plus she tastes like latex and sharpie markers." Yunho tasted like cherries and dark chocolate and ddukbokki and sunshine and rainbows and happiness. Much better than latex and sharpies. And much better than mint gum and lipgloss, which is what Hyori tasted like that one time I kissed her by accident... Jaejoong shook his head, not knowing why his mind was going to such strange places. "Thinking about our kiss?" Yunho asked with a cheeky grin. Jaejoong's eyes widened. Could Yunho read minds now too?

"No! Of course not, " Jaejoong said, a little too quickly, "I totally forgot about that kiss already. What kiss?" Yunho just chuckled at the adorable boy, "Don't worry. I tend to have that effect on people. Once they start kissing me, they can't stop." So he's kissed other people before, Jaejoong thought, not knowing why that fact made him so sad. "Trust me, Jung Yunho. I can stop kissing you whenever I want. In fact, if I never kiss you again then I'll be more than happy." ...that thought was promptly disproved as Jaejoong found himself lying on his bed a few minutes later; a warm and perfectly comfy Yunho on top of him and the taste of chocolate, cherries, ddukbokki, sunshine, and happiness in his mouth.

~~~~***~~~ I can't believe I made out with Yunho again, Jaejoong thought, grimacing to himself as he made his way over to the sauna room. His shirt was hanging over one of his shoulder and the only article of clothing he had on was a loose pair of shorts and black tights on underneath them (he didn't think the boys here were ready for the sight of his drool-worthy legs) And this time it was even longer than the last time. Plus there had been some....fondling... "What's wrong with me?" Jaejoogn whispered out loud as he stopped in front of the sauna door. He had never thought that he would want to willingly kiss another person (especially another male). Kissing was gross after all. Who wanted someone else's saliva and nasty mouth all over them? But somehow with Yunho, it just seemed right. Perfectly, deliciously right. "Could I be gay?" Jaejoong murmered. But he didn't think he was. Because the thought of making out with Heehcul or Donghae or Junsu or any other man just creeped him out to no end. Men were icky (and girl too, actually...) but Yunho... Well Yunho was just an exception to all the rules, it seemed. Jaejoong sighed deeply before opening the sauna door. A large cloud of steam wafted out and Jaejoong was momentarily blinded as he stepped into the room. However, none of the people already inside the sauna had such a visual impairment. They were all able to take in the sight of Jaejoong's half naked body, which was suprisingly quite muscular after all those cheerleading pracitices. Yunho, who had been chatting with another camper, felt his whole body seize as Jaejoong walked into the room. He had known that the new camper was good looking- nobody could deny that- but he never realized how drop dead gorgeous the boy would be. It seemed as though Jaejoong was one of those people who got better looking the less clothes he wore. All that pale skin and hard muscles and tiny waist. Yunho thought that the government should pass a law or something that proclaimed that Jaejoong always needed to be shirtless. Always. And then when Jaejoong looked over at him and blushed a wondrous shade of tomato red, Yunho felt faint- his heart pounding much too fast for his liking. He turned away quickly, trying not to think of how dangerous everything was becoming. The kisses, the teases, the carefree attitude. It was just the way that Yunho was like with everybody. He had kissed all of the campers, visited all of their rooms on the first day (okay, well only the good looking ones...). It was just who he was, a part of Yunho's exaggerated personality that he used in order to bring some enjoyment to the ranch and poke fun at the new campers. But never before had he felt this sort of intense attraction to a camper before. Because Kim Jaejoong wasn't just hot. He was also adorable and cute and innocent. He was endearing. No, it was more than that. He was lovable. And that was a scary thought for Yunho. He was allowed to flirt around and have fun with the campers...but falling in love? That was something that could never happen... ~~~***~~~ Jaejoong groaned as he flopped down on his bed after the sauna session. It had been another unproductive "treatment". Junsu had just spent the whole time lecturing a bunch of half naked boys about the joys of being with girls, asking them useless questions like "I think the singer Son Dambi is cute. Do you think she's cute too?" Plus Jaejoong had finally gotten to meet Hyo Jin the balloon. Junsu had urged him to kiss "her", which Jaejoong reluctantly did. The balloon did taste like latex and sharpies and the moisture in the sauna had also made it slippery, which just added to the whole disgusting experience. The only thing that making out with Hyo Jin had taught Jaejoong was that Yunho's kisses were a million times better than anything else. And speaking of Yunho, Jaejoong had noticed that the other boy had been avoiding him in the sauna. Which was a real feat seeing as how the whole suana was half the size of his bathroom back home. It had seemed strange to Jaejoong-- the fact that Yunho would have his hands down his pants and his tongue down his throat one minute and then be avoiding him the next. Groaning once again, Jaejoong reached towards his phone, dialing the number he always did whenever he was confused. "Hello. Lee Nail Salon!" "Hello Lee-sshi," Jaeoong said happily, "is Hyori there? It's Jaejoong." "Oh Jaejoong dear! Wait one minute, I'll go get Hyori." There was a scuffle of feet on the other line and then a very familiar voice came on. "Joongie!" "Ri~" Jaejoong said with a large smile, "hey there." "How are you, Joongie? How is camp treating you?" Hyori asked. "Okay, I guess. I mean, it's a gay rehab camp..." "Yeah," Hyori sighed. Jaejoong remembered when he had first told the girl that his parents were sending him to a gay rehab camp. Normally Jaejoong felt that the news would be concerning to a girlfriend. But Hyori hadn't even batted an eye. She had just handed Jaejoong a few bottles of clear and pale pink nail polish (just in case) and had wished him luck. "I think...it might not be working," Jaejoong whispered. "What do you mean by that, Joongie?" Hyori asked, confusion evident in her voice. "Well...I kissed a guy," Jaejoong said, holding his breath. Because he had just admitted to his girlfriend that he had cheated on her...with a man. "You what?!?" "I know, Ri. I'm sorry. I don't really know what came over me. I just..." "That is soo freaking hot, Joongie! Is he a really good looking boy? I bet he is since he met your standards. Omo, you have to bring him back to Seoul and introduce him to me. Seriously..." Jaejoong just stared at his phone. "Wait...you aren't mad, Ri?" "Why would I be mad?" Hyori asked. "Because I just cheated on you with a guy. Because my parents sent me to this camp and it might have turned me gay..." "Joongie," Hyori said with a sigh, "I always knew you were gay. I mean, come on. What kind of high school aged boy would start freaking out over the thought of holding hand with a girl." "Hand are sweaty and gross!" Jaejoong cried out, "but, wait. You thought I was gay?" "No. I knew you were gay." "Then why did you date me?" Jaejoong asked. Hyori just giggled. "Well, I just wanted you to realize that you didn't like girls. I mean, we've been friends forever and it pained me for me to see you try to force yourself to like girls. I thought if I dated you then you would eventually realize that you really didn't like girls and then go off and find yourself a hot guy to date..." "That is horrible reasoning!" Jaejoong cried out loud. "No it's not," Hyori said, "it would have totally worked if you weren't so stubborn!" "But I'm not gay,'" Jaejoong moaned. "Sure, says the guy who's been making out with a hot gay camp dude," Hyori snorted. "No. I mean, I don't like any other guy. Only Yunho." "Ohh. Yunho. So that's the camp hottie's name?" Hyori said, whistling, "well maybe you aren't gay." "Yes! I'm not!" Jaejoong said happily. "But you aren't straight either," Hyori continued. "What?" "You don't like boys. You don't like girls. But you like Yunho," Hyori stated. Jaejoong thought that pretty much summed it up. "So what does that make me?" Jaejoong asked, "Yunhosexual?"

"Don't try to put a name on it," Hyori said, "you like this kid and obviously he likes you too if he let you suck on his tongue and what not. So just go for it." "Should I really?" Jaejoong wondered. "Yes! As your now official ex-girlfriend I command you to go to this Yunho and kiss him until he becomes jaesexual." "That's a lame name," Jaejoong pouted. "Whatever, Joongie. Stop talking to me and go find your man! It's about time that you actually found a person that you're interested in. Who knows if there will be another person out there like that so don't let him pass by." Jaejoong just smiled widely. "Ri, you know I love you, right? In a I-don't-want-to-kiss-you-but-I-still-love-you kind of way." "Of course, Joongie. I love you too. And I will love you a lot more when you call me and tell me all about your sexcapades with this Yunho. Especially if you include pictures..." ~~~***~~~ Jaejoong made his way down the hallway quickly. He had bribed one of the campers with a bottle of nail polish in order to tell him which room Yunho lived in, and now he was on his way to go talk tot he other camper. Slightly out of breath, Jaejoong stopped in front of a door that was much like the rest of them. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Seconds later a distraught looking Yunho opened the door. His eyes widened when they fell on Jaejoong and a slightly scared look crossed his face, as though Jae had been the cause of his distress in the first place. "Jae.." Yunho whispered. Jaejoong smiled, liking the way that nickname sounded as it slipped past Yunho's lips. "I'm not gay." Jaejoong stated with a straight face. "Uh...that's good." Yunho said. "I'm not straight either." "...what?" "I don't really know what I am, Yunho" Jaejoong said a little smile, "but I think I like you. Or..at least I think I could really start to like you in the future if you let me." Yunho's eyes widened even more. Jaejoong liked him? "It's only the second day that we met, Jae." Yunho said shortly, "I think it might be too soon for you to know anything." "I know," Jaejoong said, "I'm not saying that I love you. I just like you. I really think I do." Yunho sagged against the doorframe. Gone were the smirks and haughty attitude. In it's place was a scared and worried looking teenager. "I think I like you too, Jae." Yunho said after a few silent seconds. Jaejoong's face broke out into a huge smile. However, that smile completly went away with Yunho's next words. "But no matter how much we like each other, we can't be together. Not now. Not ever."

Jaejoong knew he should be heartbroken. After all he had just mustered up the courage to make his first confession....ever...and he had been rejected. And it wasn't even a nice rejection-- like an"Oh, Jaejoong you're the sexiest beast alive and I can't be with you because I look too inadequate and lame next to your perfection" type of rejection. No, instead it was a douchey "We can't be together. Not now, not ever" type of deal. Most people would probably be curled up in their bed sobbing their eyes out after receiving that kind of harsh rejection. However, Jaejoong was doing nothing of that sort. He was just pacing back and forth in the hallway in front of his room, mumbling things to himself in a scarily dark voice. "Who dares reject me?" Jaejoong muttered, glaring at the floor as though it had done something horrible to him, "I'm Kim Jaejoong. I'm a cheerleader so I'm super limber and my legs are freaking toned. Plus I've got silky smooth hair and pale skin and plump lips and abs like no one would believe" Jaejoong pouted deeply as he continued pacing. "Everybody and their mom wants me. Literally. All the moms out there have crushes on me too, I know it. So what's wrong with Jung Yunho?" Jaejoong growled loudly, attracting the attention of Junsu, who was doing his nightly rounds (making sure all the boys were in their own rooms). The head counselor made his way down the hallway, walking towards the distressed boy. "Um...Jaejoong-sshi? It's past curfew now...maybe you should be back in your room instead of pacing around like a madman..." Jaejoong's glare immediately went from the floor to Junsu. "I just made my first ever confession EVER to a guy who's clearly into me because of they way that he frequently stuck his tongue down my throat and he rejected me. And now I'm livid and want to blow someone's head off so you better get out of here because I have all the right in the world to be pacing outside like a madman right now!" "Oh, uh....okay," Junsu squeaked, looking incredibly flustered at the outburst, "wait...did you just say that you confessed to a guy?" "I'm attractive, right Junsu?" Jaejoong asked, not even paying attention to what the other man said. "Sure you are, Jaejoong-sshi!" Junsu said quickly, "you're very attractive!" "And any guy out there would be really stupid to reject me, right?"

"Of course. Really stupid!" "Then why did Yunho reject me?" Jaejoong cried out, pouting like a five-year-old. Junsu just went up to the boy and patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. "I'm sure he has his reasons, Jaejoong-sshi. Maybe you should try talking to him about it." Junsu suggested. "I'm not going to talk to that jerkbag! He'd probably just be like 'Jaejoong, I like to lead people on and then crush them into the dirt because I'm a crazy psycho and everybody hates me'." "I doubt Yunho would call himself a psycho and say that everybody hates him..." "Maybe I could make him jealous instead....so that he could realize what he's missed out on" Jaejoong said. Junsu's eyes lit up, "Yeah! You could wear sexy clothes and flirt with other people to make him jealous! That's exactly like what they do in the dramas! Aigoo, those episodes are always so exciting!" "That's perfect! I have this really low cut tank top that I can wear. Oh and a pair of short shorts that I took from Hyori before coming here~"Jaejoong said happily. Junsu just nodded his head. "Yeah, and you can flirt with Taemin!" the head counselor said, "I saw him totally checking you out when you were in the sauna."

"Junsu, everybody was checking me out." "Oh..true..." "Plus, Taemin is like 12. I can't flirt with him, I'll be labeled a pedophile and then Yunho will never like me. No one likes pedophiles." "He's 17! But if you don't want him then what about Hyukjae?" Junsu suggested, "he seems interested." "Good idea!" Jaejoong said with a smile, "At this rate, Yunho will definitely fall into my trap!" "Yeah, you can set everything into motion during breakfast tomorrow," Junsu said, "All of the campers will be there then!" "Okay, I will," Jaejoong cried, "hehe, this plan is going to be amazing. Now if you would excuse me, I need to go and get everything ready so that I can look fierce for tomorrow" "Jaejoong-sshi fighting!" Junsu cried out as the boy made his way back into his room. It was only a couple of minutes later that Junsu realized that he had just helped one of his campers come up with a plan to hook up with another guy. "I think I might be in the wrong field of work," the bubbly man groaned, rubbing his head. ~~~***~~~ The next day Jaejoong sauntered into the dining hall, smirking as all the campers stopped in their tracks after seeing him. He had spent the whole night with a moisturizing mask on his face to make his skin even more soft and glowing. His hair was styled to perfection, there was a faint smudge of kohl on his eyes, and those shorts he had put on showed off his honey thighs to perfection. He had even used some of his clear nail polish in order to give his delicate fingers some extra sparkle. "Damn, what happened to the new kid?" Hyukjae whispered to Junsu. "I had no part in this!" the counselor yelled out before promptly turning away to hide his guilty face. Jaejoong made his way over to the breakfast line, trying not to break out into happy giggles over the awed expression that Yunho was wearing. He threw a thumbs up to Junsu, who just looked looked more flustered and guilty. "Hey there Hyukjae," Jaejoong as he walked up to the line, "fancy seeing you here. What are you up to?" "Uh....I'm getting breakfast?" Hyukjae said, sounding very uncertain. "Oh hoooow interesting," Jaejoong drawled as he threw one of his arms around Hyukjae's shoulder. "Um.uh...um..." Hyukjae stuttered, not knowing what to do. "Just flirt with me," Jaejoong whispered to the boy, "play along." "You aren't trying to get me kicked out of this camp too, are you?" Hyukjae whispered back. "No, don't worry. Junsu's in on the plan." "I am NOT," the camp director said, joining in on the whispering game. "You're the one who suggested this!" Jaejoong shot back before turning to Hyukjae, "what was that, Hyukkie? You want to go on a date with me? Wow that would be amazing." "Haha, yeah..." Hyukjae said nervously. "It's so wonderful that you can appreciate my beauty and charms and not be a flaky jerk who likes to lead people on!" "I think you're laying it on a little thick, Jaejoong-sshi," Junsu said. However, it seemed to work since mere seconds later, a very disgruntled looking Yunho appeared in front of the three other men. "Jaejoong, can I talk to you?" he asked in a deep, dangerous sounding voice, "in private?" "No, you really can't," Jaejoong said, "I was having a wonderful conversation here with Hyukjae and you ruined it." "Wonderful conversation?" Hyukjae asked. Jaejoong promptly stepped on his foot. "It's kind of important, Jae. Please?" Yunho asked once more. "Beg me?" Jaejoong asked, raising his eyebrows. Junsu and Hyukjae looked on in interest. Yunho tried his hardest not to roll his eyes. "Please, oh great Jaejoong. I beg you to spare a few minutes of your precious time on an unworthy being such as myself," Yunho drawled out. The sarcasm was lost on Jaejoong, who took the begging to be sincere. "Hmph. I suppose I could," Jaejoong sniffed, shooting Yunho his coldest glare, "but we have to make it quick. I've got a date with Hyukjae that I need to get to." Yunho nodded his head tersely and waited for Jaejoong to detach himself from a very confused Hyukjae before leading him away. "Yah! You two better only be talking!" Junsu cried out after them, "no funny business! Are you listening to me? Seriously you guys! I don't want to walk in on the two of you doing...things..." "Ha, did you see the way Jaejoong looked today?" Taemin asked Junsu, "If Yunho doesn't try to do any 'funny business' with Jae then I'll lose all respect for him." Junsu groaned, dropping his head into his hands. Yep, he was definitely in the wrong field of business. ~~~***~~~ "So what is this all about?" Yunho asked once the two of them were outside of the dining hall. "What is what...." "Don't you dare say 'what is what all about'," Yunho growled, "You're not the only one who watched cheesy dramas, Jaejoong. I know exactly what you're trying to do. You're trying to make me jealous." "Well maybe I'm not trying anything," Jaejoong sniffed, "maybe this is just who I am in real life." "Of course, because I will totally believe that you went from being this straight guy to a gay slut in a day." "Yah! Don't call me a slut, you whore!" Jaejoong cried out. "Oh sure. Because you're acting totally pure right now, you ho!" "At least I'm not an insensitive jerk that leads people on, you lady of the night!" "Lady of the night?" Yunho asked, eyebrows raised. "I couldn't think of any other word and saying 'prostitute' just sounds too technical" Jaejoong mumbled. Yunho chuckled despite himself. He then leaned against the wall and sighed loudly. "I didn't mean to lead you on," he explained, "it's just...I didn't actually expect you to fall for me." "What? So you only like people who won't like you back?" Jaejoong asked, "masochistic bastard..." "No!" Yunho said quickly, "it's just...I can't really fall in love with another guy." "Aren't you gay?" "Yes," Yunho sighed, "but I mean...there's a reason why I'm in this camp. My appa told me that he would cut me off completely unless I stopped being gay". "What?" Jaejoong asked, lined eyes growing wide. "He's a pretty prominent politician in my hometown and he doesn't want to have a reputation of having a gay son. That's the reason why sent me here in the first place. It's either become straight or be cast out from the Jung family forever." "That's way too harsh!" Jaejoong said, frowning. "It's just the way he is. He expects everybody to be exactly the way he wants them to be. I want to go against him, but I can't really fend for myself, you know. I mean, I haven't even finished high school yet. I don't have a place to live and nobody would hire me. If I could find a place to stay I would run away as fast as I could" "I...yeah..." Jaejoong breathed out, not knowing what else to say. He suddenly felt very foolish for even thinking about this whole 'make Yunho jealous' plan. "So I do want to be with you but....i just can't," Yunho said awkwardly. "Yeah, I understand," Jaejoong said back. They both looked at each other miserably for a few minutes. "I suppose I should go back before Junsu starts to think we're doing inappropriate," Yunho said, trying and failing to make a joke. "Ha, yeah," Jaejoong replied lamely. They both kind of stalled for a few more seconds before Yunho turned and walked back into the dining hall. Jaejoong was about to follow when he felt someone wrap their hand around his upper arm. The person attached to that hand then tried to tug him. Jaejoong turned around harshly, thinking he was about to get kidnapped or raped or something. Except unfortunately Jaejoong's depth perception wasn't always the best. His head collided with the wall. Hard. He wobbled in place for a bit, feeling incredibly dizzy. "Aw wow, man. Are you okay?" a voice called out. And then everything went black. ~~~***~~~ "You retard, you were just supposed to talk to him. Why did you have to knock him out?" "It wasn't me! He slammed his head straight into the wall!' "Whatever, you violent freak. I bet you tried to pummel him or something like that Ultramaniac guy you always watch on TV." "It's Ultraman, Chunnie, and he doesn't pummel people. He just kills them by using his laser vision!" Jaejoong groggily opened his eyes, his head pounding like crazy. "Ah look! He's regaining consciousness!" Jaejoong's eyes focused and he realized that there were two creepy, smiling faces mere centimeters away from his own face. "Ahh! Rapists!" Jaejoong cried, sitting up quickly. Why did I decide to dress so sexily today? It's as though I was asking to get raped! But I really don't want to get raped! Well if I did want it then I suppose it wouldn't be called rape now, would it? "We aren't rapists!" one of the creepy heads said, "don't you remember us?" Jaejoong narrowed his eyes and looked at the two men. He gasped in recognition. They were YooMin. Oh crap, he was in trouble now... "Oh god. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you kicked out of the camp! Really. You guys just kind of took me by shock and I wasn't gay back then so I thought it was gross when guys kissed other guys! But now I think it's okay because maybe one of you taste like chocolate and happiness like Yunho does..." "Um, kid..." "Please don't kill me or whatever. I'll talk to Junsu and tell him to take you back. We've become pretty close. He helps me with my late night revenge plans." "Kid! We aren't going to kill you," Changmin said with a sigh. "You aren't?" "No, we want to help," Yoochun added in. Jaejoong's eyes went wide. Help what? Help rape him? "Uh..." "We overheard you talking to Yunho." Jaejoong blushed a deep shade of red. It wasn't as though him and Yunho had an embarrassing conversation or anything like that. But still, some things were meant to be private... Plus, his conversation with Yunho kind of made him look like a whiney little kid. "We can help," Yoochun said with a wide grin, "we can offer Yunho a place to live if his dad kicks him out." "What?" Jaejoong asked, surprised. "Well," Yoochun started, "when you got us kicked out of here..." "Which we really aren't mad about," Changmin interrupted, "we were planning on running away anyways." "Yeah, what Min said. Anyways, when we left we started looking for a place to go to because neither of our parents wouldn't have been really happy if we had come back in a relationship." "And then we found this really great place right outside of Seoul to live in," Changmin said with a wide smile. "Well...we kind of live in it illegally, actually..." "But it's an abandoned warehouse so nobody else was going to use it. But we think we can refurbish it and make it really great." "We've only been in there for one night so we didn't really get to do much with it..." "Besides have sex in nearly every room!" "...But we have a lot of plans for it now! It's really exciting" Jaejoong stood still, amazed at how YooMin were able to alternate sentences with such ease. It was as though the two of them shared the same brain or something. "You want Yunho to run away from camp and live in an abandoned warehouse with the two of you?" Jaejoong asked when it seemed as though YooMin had finally taken a break from talking. "Well, kind of..." Changmin said, biting his lip. "Kind of?" "We want all the campers to come live with us there," Yoochun explained, "there's enough space and we really can turn it into a nice place." "Every camper!" Jaejoong exclaimed. Yoomin nodded their heads. "This paradise meadow ranch is really sad," Changmin sighed, "the kids here don't need rehab. They need a place where they can be free to be who they are." "Which is what YooMin's Paradise Meadow Warehouse for Letting Gay People be Gay..." "YMPMWFLGPBG!" "...will be" Jaejoong contemplated the idea for a second. "That does sound good...but why are you telling me this?" "Well we thought you would be more willing to be in on our plan since it'll be helping your boyfriend," Yoochun said. "Maybe we can even bring Junsu with us," Changmin muttered, "he can finally stop pretending like he's not gay then..." "We could even offer him partnership," Yoochun agreed, "YooSuMin's Paradise Meadow Warehouse for Letting Gay People be Gay." "I like the sound of that!" Jaejoong shook his head, deciding to speak before YooMin went off on another one of their "couples dialogue" again. "So you're asking me to help you liberate all of the people in this camp and in return you'll help Yunho and the rest of the campers find a place where they can be gay freely." "Yes!" Yoomin said in unison. Jaejoong smiled. There really didn't seem like there was a down side to this. He helped YooMin and in return they would help Yunho. Plus, he agreed that all the campers probably would be happier in a place where they didn't have to go through fail!treatments everyday. "Well, okay then. I'll do it!" Jaejoong said. The couple shared a grin before turning to the pretty boy. "Wonderful," Yoochun leered, "now tell me how comfortable you are with cross dressing..."

"I don't know about this...do you think we should use the melons?" YooMin were currently standing in Jaejoong's bedroom, staring at their creation. It had taken them five hours, a bag of very questionable clothes, a few colorful barrettes, and all the makeup skills that the two combined boys had...but it had all pulled together. Jaejoong stood in front of them, hair slightly curled and pinned in a way so that it fell softly over his face. There was a faint blush over his cheeks, his lips were painted a darker shade of ruby than normal, and his eyes were lined, his eyelashes were mascara-ed and curled to perfection. But most disturbing of all, in Jaejoong's opinion, was his outfit. Somehow YooMin had gotten their hands on a knee length lacy dress and an equally lacy bra, which they had promptly stuck two oranges into. Jaejoong had never felt more embarrassed in his life. Sure, he had tried on the girls' cheerleading uniforms sometimes (because they really did show off his legs well), but that was always late at night after cheer practice and he was always by himself. He had never dressed in girls' clothes in front of other people, and it was much more mortifying than he thought it would be... "Yah! Don't you think the oranges are humiliating enough?" Jaejoong asked, cheeks turning even more red, "what do you think you're going to do with melons?"

"Shouldn't they be bigger, though?" Yoochun asked, looking confused, "isn't bigger better or whatever?" "Do you really think it's realistic for girls to have breasts the size of melons?" Jaejoong asked, eyes narrowing. "Like it even matters if its realistic or not. I bet Junsu hasn't seen a real pair of breasts in years. He wouldn't be able to tell..." "I wouldn't be able to walk with a pair of melons strapped to my chest," Jaejoong sniffed, "so I say no." "What do you think, Min?" Yoochun asked, turning to the taller boy, "should we stick with the oranges or go for melons?" "I don't know!" Changmin cried, "I'm gay! I thought you were gay too! What the hell are we supposed to know or care about his for?" "Hey now, you should know I'm gay, Min. I mean why else would I have spent all of last night with my..." "You two!!" Jaejoong cried out, "I'm still here you know! And my innocent ears don't need to hear all about your sexcapades." "What? Innocent ears?" Yoochun asked, leering in a wholly greasy way, "don't tell me your a virgin..." "I! Well...I...but I...well...I don't see how that matters" Jaejoong stuttered. YooMin shared a look before bursting out into laughter. "Damn, it's just like Yunho to fall for a virgin," Changmin said, rolling his eyes. "Well maybe once we get to the warehouse we can all help Jaejoong loose his innocence," Yoochun said, still leering (Jaejoong wondered if the look was permanent), "what about it, Jae? What do you say to a big YunJaeYooSuMin dog pile?" "Naked dog pile," Changmin clarrified. Jaejoong's face turned paler at the thought of all those limbs and...sweat...and... "I think I'm going to be sick," the pretty boy muttered. "Yah! Don't be sick all over the dress. It was expensive!" Changmin cried. "I thought you said you stole if off an old lady's clothes line, Min." "Yeah, well it was expensive in time and effort, okay? And I can't really go stealing another one because the lady saw me as I was leaving and I can't really show my face there again..." "You're afraid of an old lady?" "This wasn't a normal old lady, Chun..." "You two!!" Jaejoong cried out, catching attention the attention of the two other boys before they went on a full blown conversation in their own little YooMin world. "You still haven't told me what this plan was going to be about," Jaejoong said with a sigh, "all you've done so far is dress me up like a woman." "Dressed you up like a woman really, really well," Changmin corrected. "Well the basic plan is for you to distract Junsu while we take all the campers out of there," Yoochun explained, causing Jaejong to gape at him. "That is your wonderful plan? For me to distract Junsu? A kindergarden student could have come up with that! My niece could have come up with that and she's two!" "Junsu could have come up with plan and he's retarded," Changmin in happily, wanting to join in the insulting game. He might be one of the main organizers of the plan, but Changmin never gave up the opportunity to make fun of Junsu. "It's a good plan," Yoochun said, sounding insulted, "see, Min and I have prepared this really big getaway truck to transport all the camper to the warehouse in." "It's actually a delivery truck that I stole...from the same old lady that I took this dress from," Changmin interjected. "Why would an old lady have a delivery truck?" Jaejoong asked. "I told you she wasn't normal!" "Anyways," Yoochun continued, "we parked the truck in the back of the building. But the only way that we can get all the campers out is if we make the fire alarm go off. All the campers would then evacuate out the back of the ranch and straight into our truck." "I still don't see where I come in..." Jaejoong mussed. "Well, we figured the best time to do this would be during the sauna session, since all of the campers will be together..." "Chun just wants to have a truck full of sweaty, half naked guys," "But the only thing is that the fire alarm is located right next to the sauna. And Junsu has a clear view of it from where he sits to do his lectures." "And in order to pull it we need for him to be distracted, which is where you come in!" Jaejoong stood still for a few seconds, still a little in awe at the way YooMin talked as though they were one person. But then the words they said actually sank in. "Well that's great and all... but..." Jaejoong said slowly. "But?" "But why does this have anything to do with me dressing up like a girl?" Jaejoong asked, eyes blaring, "I'm pretty sure I could have distracted Junsu plenty well as a guy." YooMin just did one of their creepy shared grins again, both of them walking up and placing an arm around Jaejoong's frilly shoulder. "Well that's the second part of our plan" Changmin asked. "Uh, second part?" "Do you know how Junsu doesn't think he's gay? Well, we want to do something about that." Yoochun said cryptically. Jaejoong swallowed...hard. He didn't know if he really wanted to know what was coming up for him... ~~~***~~~ The door to the sauna wasn't really anything intimidating. Just a piece of glass fogged up from all the steam coming from inside. But Jaejoong figured when he was dressed like a girl with two rather large oranges bound to his chest, anything would seem intimidating. There was nothing took away a person's manly pride like a pair of orange breasts... "Okay, Jaejoong you can do this," the boy said as a little pep talk, "besides YooMin did a great job with the makeup. No one would be able to recognize you anyways...well maybe besides Yunho...maybe." Jaejoong's mind flashed to the images he always saw in his sister's mangas or read in fan fictions. The ones where a guy would crossdress and look beautiful and his partner would be in shock and fall in love even more because he was so beautiful. "Yeah," Jaejoong said happily, "Yunho will see me looking all beautiful in a dress and I can call him oppa and he'll go crazy and forget all about his douche of a dad and come on over and ravish me hehehehe." And it was with those thoughts that Jaejoong smugly opened the sauna door and walked inside. As soon as he was inside the room, Jaejoong realized two things. One, it was damn uncomfortable to be inside of a sauna with clothes on. Like really sticky, frizzy hair, orange rinds stuck to your skin kind of uncomfortable. And the second was...even though he was pretty gorgeous as a girl (if he did say so himself) , he was currently in a room full of gay boys and therefore his beauty was completely lost on everybody. Taemin looked as though he was about to be sick, Hyukjae eyes widened in disgust, and Yunho...well Yunho just looked completely sulky and uninterested. So much for my great seduction plans, Jaejoong thought bitterly. He should have realized that dressing up like a woman probably wasn't the best way to make a gay boy want to ravage him. Jaejoong turned to Junsu, disheartened, only to see the man backed up against the sauna wall, looking as though he had seen a ghost. As soon as Jaejoong made eye contact with him, he shuddered a little bit and he let out this strange high pitched squeal. "Um...hi..." Jaejoong said awkwardly. He didn't really know what he needed to distract Junsu, and the camp director looking as though he was about to die any second didn't really make things easier. "Is that a real girl?" Jaejoong heard somebody whisper on the other side of the sauna. "I think so...look at her chest..." Jaejoong pputed a little. Did some makeup, styled hair, and women's clothes really make him that unrecognizable? It seemed so since no one in the sauna saw through his disguise at all, not even Yunho. Jaejoong supposed it was good for his plan, but it made him wonder about all the girls he had seen before...he wondered if he would be able to recognize them without makeup either... "Hello," Junsu said quickly, eyes darting to and from Jaejoong's face, bringing the pretty boy back to reality. "Oh hi. I just came here..." Jaejoong started, walking closer to the man. Junsu squealed extra loudly, sounding as though he was about to have a panic attack. "Your distance is fine for right now, miss," Junsu said. "Am I making you nervous, Kim-sshi?" Jaejoong asked, raising his eyebrows up and wiggling them. "Uh...no," Junsu started, "it's just I'm not really used to being around women anymore. I mean, none of us here are since we're usually just around other guys. Oh, besides Hyo Jin, but she doesn't really do much since she's a balloon and all..." "Oh, well I am here to take Hyo Jin's place from now on," Jaejoong murmured, thinking that it really was easy to distract the bubbly camp director. "You are?" Junsu asked, eyes going wide, "who are you?" Jaejoong wracked his brain for the first name that came to his mind. "My name is Hyori." Both Junsu and Yunho gave off yelps. "You're Hyori?" Junsu cried out. "Like Jaejoong's girlfriend Hyori?" Yunho asked, getting up. Jaejoong let himself become momentarily distracted by the sight of those fiiine tanned abs on display before his mind wrapped around what he just said. Oh crap, I forgot that these two know about Hyori, Jaejoong thought wildly, oh well might as well play along... "Uh, yeah! I'm Jaejoong's girlfriend Hyori." "Why would you come and volunteer to be used for kissing practice here?" Junsu asked, confused. "You!" Yunho cried, eyes narrowing, "I know your intentions! You're here to battle with me for Jaejoong's affections, right?" A loud gasp went through the whole sauna and every male in there crowded together, eyes wide at the drama that was unfolding. "Battle with you?" Jaejoong asked, gaping, "why would I battle with you? You already made it clear that you couldn't be with m...uh, him." "Wah!" Junsu cried out, "Jaejoong told her that already!" "Listen, you will never get Jaejoong, okay?" Yunho said, almost growling. Jaejoong thought it was incredibly sexy. But then again the whole wet and half naked thing could have added to the effect... "Why not?" Jaejoong challenged, "why can't I get him?" "Because he's gay!" a camper called out from the back of the sauna. "Yeah, what Jo Kwon said," Yunho answered smugly. "Well maybe he isn't," Jaejoong sniffed, "maybe he was just attracted to you and then you crushed him to the ground by saying that you couldn't be with him." "ooooooooohhhhh" the cry rang through the sauna. "Well it's not my fault!" Yunho cried out, "my appa forbade me to be in a relationship with another man." "Yeah, Yunho! You tell that bitch!" Taemin cried out. "Yah! You're twelve, you're not allowed to cuss!" Jaejoong said sharply to Taemin (who cowered back in fear) before turning back to Yunho, "so what? You're trying to say that your bastard of an appa is more important to you than Jaejoong's love?" "No! it's just that I can't be kicked out of my house. I have nowhere else to go!" "What about having a secret relationship?" Junsu suggested, once again forgetting his position, "you could still live at home and be secret lovers with Jaejoong! It would be so romantic, just like in all those dramas." "Do you really expect Jaejooong to move from Seoul to Gwangju just so that he can be my secret lover?" Yunho asked. Junsu's eyes sparkled even more, "a pan-Korea secret love story~ Two cities, one forbidden love~~" "So you're saying that if you had a place to live then you would consider being together with Jaejoong?" Jaejoong asked, feeling very strange talking in third person. "Of course," Yunho said, "I wouldn't even give it a second thought. If I had a place to run away to then I would be with Jaejoong in a heartbeat." "Awwwwww..." the sauna chorus sounded again. "How cute!" Hyukjae cried, walking over to Junsu so that the two of them could draft up a script for "A pan-Korea love story~Two cities, one forbidden love~~" (APKLV~TCOFL~~?) "Well what if I told you that there was a place for you to run away to?" Jaejoong asked. Yunho's eyes narrowed further. "And why would I believe a word that comes out of your dirty female mouth?" Yunho asked, "you just want Jaejoong all to yourself." "Oh, um...well maybe I can give Jaejoong to you...I'm not really that interested in him anymore," Jaejoong said quickly. But Yunho didn't buy it at all. "Yeah right, nobody would just lose interest in Jaejoong after dating him. He's too incredible for that!" Ah yes, that is true, Jaejoong thought wistfully, I am just too awesome... "You two should fight over Jaejoong's affections!" Taemin cried out. "Nobody is going to listen to a twelve year old," Jaejoong spat back. "No, you should!" Hyukjae said quickly, "oh, this would make the most wonderful opening scene for our drama! A fight between the girlfriend and the wannabe lover! How poetic!" "Yeah!' Jo Kwon said. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Soon the whole sauna was chanting along with the boy. Jaejoong looked around nervously while Yunho just shot him a smug grin, one eyebrow raised menacingly. "So what do you say, Hyori?" he asked, "fight?" "You wouldn't pick a fight against a girl would you?" Jaejoong asked, eyes wide, "I mean, gay or not that's just common manners." "If it's over Jaejoong, I would pick a fight with Mother Theresa". "You would probably win too!" Jo Kwon added in, wisely, "seeing as how Mother Theresa is dead and all" "Less talk, more fiiiight!" Taemin cried out, looking a little rabid. Jaejoong cast a worried look at the boy before turning back to Yunho. "Um..." "Okay, Hyori. Let's do this. Whoever loses this fight will have to give up Jaejoong forever." Yunho said, getting into a fighting stance. "I'll provide some fighting music!" Jo Kwon cried as he started to belt out a disturbingly accurate version of the Brown Eyed Girl's "Abracadabra". Jaejoong just closed his eyes, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was supposed to be fighting a half naked Yunho...over himself.... Yunho raised his fist, ready to place the first punch. The rest of the boys held their breath, Jo Kwon kept singing, and Jaejoong cringed, trying to brace himself to take the punch like a man (frilly dress and orange breasts be damned). "Wait!" Junsu cried out, finally remembering what his position was, "we can't be having fights here. Especially not over this!" Jaejoong sent a silent thanks to the Gods for making Junsu finally intervene. Because looking at Yunho's firm muscles, Jaejoong was pretty sure that the boy could pack quite the punch and his beautiful face just couldn't take that... "Yah! Kamo, stop ruining all the fun!" Hyukjae said with a small pout. "Yunho, you know this is supposed to be a camp for turning gay people straight! There's no way that I would let you get into a fight with a girl over Jaejoong. Let him be with Hyori-sshi." Jaejoong turned to Junsu. Now for the second part of the plan...

"Kamo, don't get in the way of this," Yunho asked, "we have to settle this fair and square." "Like beating up a woman is fair," Jaejoong whispered, rolling his eyes. He then turned to Junsu. "As much as I appreciate you stopping the fight, Kim-sshi, I think you're not really one to talk," Jaejoong said slowly. "What do you mean?" Junsu asked, looking adorably confused. "What I mean is that you're as gay as the rest of the boys here." "Well duh," one of the campers snorted. "I am not!"Junsu huffed, "I don't understand why all these boys here keep saying that I'm gay because I wouldn't' have started this place if I...mmmppphh!" Jaejoong cut the other man off by leaning over and kissing him squarely on the lips. Another, louder, gasp went through the sauna. Even Yunho momentarily forgot his anger, his eyes growing wide. "Hyori kissed Junsu!!" Jo Kwon yelled out as though he was the only person in the sauna who had seen what had happened. Jaejoong pulled away and Junsu just stared off, looking dazed. "So what did you think, Kim-sshi?" Jaejoong asked, eyebrows raised. Junsu stuttered for a little while before he was able to formulate a proper response. "Well you took me by surprise" Junsu said after a few minutes, "but it wasn't bad at all." "So you enjoyed kissing me?" Jaejoong asked. "Uh...sure..." Junsu answered. "And you wouldn't enjoy kissing a man, right?" "Of course not!" Junsu cried out, "I enjoyed kissing you because you weren't a man. If you were a man then I probably would have felt disgusted or something." "And if I was a guy and you had enjoyed my kiss then that would make you gay, right?" Jaejoong further pressed. Junsu looked confused for a few seconds, all these hypothetical situations making his poor head hurt, "yeah! I would be gay if I liked kissing you and you were a guy!" Jaejoong smirked before lifting up the hem of his dress. "Holy crap, Hyori is going to strip!" Jo Kwon cried out. But instead of stripping, Jaejoong just used the hem to wipe at his sweaty face, effectively removing much of the makeup that had been caked on him. He then slipped the barrettes from his hair and reached into the front of his dress, taking out the two oranges and dropping them on the sauna floor. "Whaaaaaaa?" Jaejoong was really starting to get curious about this chorus thing. Did these boys routinely practicing saying the same things at the same time? Or did living together in a camp for a long time make them automatically in tune to each other' thoughts? "Wait...so Hyori doesn't have boobs?" Taemin asked, "that's sad for a girl..." "That's not Hyori, you idiot," Hyukjae growled, "look at his face." "Jaejoong?" Junsu gasped, looking as though he was about to faint. Jaejoong looked around the sauna, all the shocked faces of the camper taring back at him with their mouths gaped open. Junsu wobbled a bit in place. "I just kissed a man!!! And liked it?" "Kamo, you're gay, get over it." Hyukjae said offhandedly, "but the real drama here is..." "Jaejoong just kissed Junsu!!!" Jo Kwon shouted out. Yunho let out a very deep growl and Jaejoong's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "Haha, Yunho...you know that kiss didn't really mean anything," Jaejoong started, looking at the taller boy who was slowly advancing on him, "I just did it because it was part of the plan to show Junsu that he's gay and would like kissing boy and...." All of Jaejoong's words seemed to fall on deaf ears as Yunho kept slowly creeping towards the smaller male, a dark look crossing his whole face. Holy crap, he looks scary, Jaejoong thought, like horror movie scary, the kind of like what all those murders look like before they chop off the hot girls' head or something... Jaejoong prayed for some sort of intervention, whether it be divine or just Junsu again (not that the director would be of much help since he was currently having a one man panic attack in the corner of the sauna). Thankfully, Jaejoong's salvation was delivered in the form of a loud, shrill fire alarm. "Finally YooMin came to their senses," Jaejoong whispered as all the boys started running back and forth, afraid that they were going to burn to death the sauna. "Okay, calm down everyone," Hyukjae called out, taking over Junsu's duties since the man was still hyperventilating to himself in the corner, "we need to follow the fire drill. Everybody line up and exit out the back door." The boys all started to line up and quickly made their way out of the sauna, Hyuk Jae throwing Junsu over his shoulder and walking out with him. Jaejoong's eyes widened, not really able to believe that YooMin's plan had gone so well. It was such a god awful plan after all. "Aren't you going to leave too?" Jaejoong snapped back to reality as he heard the harsh voice. Yunho was holding the door to the sauna open, looking at Jaejoong with raised eyebrows. "Yeah," Jaejoong said, gathering up his dress and rushing out. He let out a moan of pleasure when the cool, air conditioned air drenched over his body. After being in the sauna in a heavy, frilly dress, it felt like heaven to finally get out from the smoldering steam and body heat. "Yunho, listen," Jaejoong said as he finally got his senses back. He ran after Yunho's quickly retreating back, "I didn't kiss Junsu because I wanted to or anything. It was all just part of a plan that..." "I know," Yunho said with an amused smile. "What?" "I know that you did it to distract Junsu and help YooMin reach the fire alarm." "What? So you know the whole plan about me crossdressing and distracting Junsu while making him realize that he's gay just so that YooMin could release the fire alarm and lure all of the campers out of the building and into the large truck waiting out back so that they can be transported to the gay warehouse that YooMin created in a day?" "Um....what? No," Yunho said, looking confused as the two of them walked outside, "I just saw YooMin pull the alarm. I didn't know they were planning to kidnap the whole camp." "Not kidnap, dear Yunho," Yoochun said coming up to them, "liberate!" "What's going on?" Hyukjae asked, "why is there a huge animal delivery truck parked out here? And why is YooMin back?" "What?" Jaejoong asked Changmin, looking at the truck, "an animal delivery truck? This is what you stole from that old lady?" "Well...yeah...it's really the only thing big enough to drive all of you guys to the warehouse" "You're going to drive us to a warehouse in an animal delivery truck?" Jaejoong asked, eyes wide, "what the hell do you think we are? Horses?" "What? Did you expect this old woman to have a milk delivery truck?" Changmin asked, "I told you she wasn't normal." "I don't think you're normal," Yunho cut in, even though he still wasn't very sure what was going on. "I resent that, Yunho," Yoochun said, completely ignoring Yunho's "I wasn't even talking to you", as he turned and faced the rest of the campers. Jaejoong looked out at the crowd, it seemed that all of the campers had crowded outside, half naked and still a little sweaty from their time in the sauna. The pretty boy noted in surprise that somehow Hyo Jin had always made her way outside, now bobbing inconspicuously next to Taemin. "Hello members of KJPMRFTGPS!" the greasy boy called out, "my name is..." "Everybody already knows who you are YooMin," Jo Kwon cried out. "My name is Yoochun, actually," the boy continued, "and I would like for all of you to kindly get into the back of this really wonderful and not at all suspicious looking truck here. Changmin, Yunho, Jaejoong and I are going to take you guys to someplace much better than here." "Yah!" Yunho hisses, "why are you bringing up my name? I don't even know what's going on." "This really does looks like an animal delivery truck," a camper said. YooMin shared a look before turning back to the crowd. "It isn't an animal delivery truck," Changmin said smoothly. "It's a human delivery truck." There was a silence that went through the campers before Taemin shrugged his shoulders. "Fine, whatever. Works for me." The rest of the boys agreed with him and started to climb into the human delivery truck. "Wait...they're all going just like that?" Jaejoong asked, eyes wide, "they don't even want to know where you're going to be taking them or anything?" "Ah, the camper all know that wherever we're taking them is better than this hellhole." Changmin said, happily watching all of the campers going into the truck. "Oh wait!" he cried suddenly, holding his hand out, "Chunnie give me the scissors real quick." Yoochun produced a pair of bright pink scissors from thin air and placed them into Changmin;s waiting hand. The boy started to walk over to Taemin and for one frightening moment Jaejoong was afraid that Changmin was going to cut Taemin's long, luscious locks off. Just as Jaejoong was about to speak out (because he liked Taemin's hair), Changmin turned and instead stuck the scissors rather violently into Hyo Jin. The poor balloon popped in a great explosion of latex, sharpie, lipstick, and fake lashes. "Ah, thank god," Yoochun said as Changmin walked back to them, "I hated that thing. I can't even look at balloons anymore without wanting to throw up because of her." "You murdered Hyo Jin!" Junsu cried from his perch on top of Hyukjae's shoulders. The loud popping sound seemed to have momnetarily brought the man to his senses. "Ah, you'll get over it, Kamo," Taemin said with a grin, "and if you ever miss her too much we could always get Jaejoong to dress up like a girl and kiss you again." "No we cannot," Yunho said, throwing his best dark look towards the younger boy. "YunJae, you two should get into the truck too," Changmin said. "I'm not getting into anywhere until I actually know what's going on," Yunho said, "Jae said something about a gay warehouse?" "Yeah!" Changmin said with a bright smile, "Chunnie and I made a gay warehouse where all of you guys can live without having to worry about lame parents or strange gay rehab treatments." "It's a place that you can run away to, Yun" Jaejoong said with a small smile. Yunho turned to him, eyes wide. "Really?" he asked, "I can live here and be with you without any problem?" "Well yeah," Jaejoong said, smile growing wider, "if that's what you want to do..." "Jae..." Yunho said, his own smile crossing his face. He leaned down and pecked Jaejoong softly on the lips, "you know I would love to be with you." "I would love to be with you too, Yun," Jaejoong said as he tilted his head and kissed Yunho longer. "Yah! The two of you can do that all you want after you get to the gay warehouse," Yoochun said, pulling the two apart, "right now the two of you should get into the truck with the rest of the half naked me...uh, campers" Yunho clasped Jaejoong's hand firmly in his own and both of them started to walk over to the truck. "You know, I have no idea what a gay warehouse run by YooMin is going to be like," Yunho admitted. "I don't either," Jaejoong admitted, "but I don't think I practically care." "Me neither," Yunho said with a goofy grin, "as long as you're there with me. But just promise me one thing, Jae." "Of course, Yun, anything." "Never wear a dress again. You look too much like a girl and it's creepy." ~~~***~~~ Yoochun and Chagmin joined the rest of the boys in the back of the delivery truck halfway on their way to the warehouse. Yunho and Jaejoong had already explained what was happening to the rest fo the campers and they all seemed surprisingly supportive of the idea of living in a warehouse together. Though the majority of them did wish that they had been able to bring their clothes with them. Not that they had anything against sitting half naked in a delivery truck, but it was rather drafty. The only person who did not seem to be taking the news well was Junsu, who was curled up in a little ball in the corner of the truck bed. "Ah, Su is still sulking?" Yoochun asked and him and Changmin crawled over to YunJae. "What the? Why are you two here?" Jaejoong asked frantically, "who's driving the truck?" "Oh, we got the old lady to drive it," Yoochun said casually. Jaejoong's eyebrow shot up. "The old lady who you stole this truck from in the first place?" "Yeah, her. Turns out she's a huge yaoi fan. She's even donated the truck to our cause. Thinks that transporting half naked gay boys is a lot better than transporting cows and pigs." "Anyways," Yoochun said, "maybe we should try to talk to Su." The rest of them nodded and all made their way over to the ex-camp director. "Hey there, Kamo," Changmin said, "congratulations on being gay!" "I'm not..." "Don't even dare say you're not gay," Yoochun interrupted, "you kissed Jaejoong and fully liked it. You're gay. Best to just accept it and move on." "I....I..." Junsu cried, sighing deeply, "what do you mean by move on?" "Well, see. We kind of need your help for our gay warehouse to be succesful," Yoochun said. "My help?" "Yeah, you need to call all the parents and tell them that you changed locations for your camp. That way they won't get suspicious and we can all live in peace," Changmin continued. Junsu looked at the rest of the boys, a terrible pout on his face, "and what would I get out of this?" "All of us will help you slowly discover and embrace your gayness," Yoochun leered, "we're actually pretty good at that. I mean, Yunho turned Jaejoogn gay and then Jaejoong turned you gay." "Except you're not allowed to kiss Jaejoong anymore," Yunho aid, placing a possesive arm around his boyfriend. "He's off limits." "Yunho is one of those no fun exclusive type people," Changmin explained, "but Chunnie and I don't mind sharing. The more love the better~" "Plus, we'll give you a partnership in this new warehouse. We'll even put your name in the title. YooSuMin." "Oh," Junsu said, "well..." "It's what all the cool people in the dramas are doing nowadays," Yunho commented offhandedly, "they're all moving out and joining gay warehouses." "Really?" "Really." "Okay then," Junsu said slowly, "as long as you don't force me to do...things...with you guys." Junsu said, "at least not yet. Oh, and you have to build a grave for Hyo Jin since you murdered her." "Su, she's a balloon," "A grave, Yoochun. No grave, no deal." "Fine, we'll make a grave," Changmin said quickly, "so are you in?" "I'm in," Junsu said. The rest of the boys cheered. "But you know, I think Jaejoong should get a partnership too," Yoochun said, "since he helped out the most with our plan." "Me too!" Yunho said quickly, "after all Jaejoong wouldn't have helped out if it wasn't for me." "So then would it be YunJaeSooSuMin's Paradise Meadow Warehouse for Letting Gay People Be Gay?" "YunJaeYooSuMin sounds too complicated," Jaejoong complained, "how about we make another name for the five of us." "Yeah, what's a good name to describe our awesomeness?" Yoochun asked. All of the boys looked at each other for a few minutes, thoughtful expressions on their faces. "Well, we're all super good looking." Changmin noted. "True," Junsu added in, "how about God then. Because we're so good looking and all." "I think that sounds too conceited," Jaejoong said with a pout, "I mean, we're hot stuff, but to call ourselves God?" "Then we can just be the Gods of the East. That way, there's still a whole hemisphere left over for all the other gods..." Yunho said quickly. "Gods of the East...I like it!" Junsy said happily. But YooMin were still deep in thought. "It's missing something..." "I know!" Yoochun cried out, the lecherous expression once again making its comeback, "well because of all the sexing I know we'll do how about the rising Gods of the East?" "What?" Junsu asked, eyebrows furrowed. "You know. Rising! Like erections that..." "Yeah, we get it Yoochun," Yunho said shortly. "Perfect, then," Changmin said, "this Rising Gods of the East's Paradise Meadow Warehouse For Letting Gay People Be Gay!" "Also known as TRG..." "No more acronyms," Jaejoong said, slapping a hand over Yoochun's mouth. His other hand entertwined with Yunho's and the two of them looked at their other three partners. Yoochun, Changmin, Junsu. All three of them were insane and strange and oh so gay. But then again, YunJae mused, so were they. And now they had a future together, away from judgemental parents, strange rehab teatments, and a society that kept trying to change them into something else. And when they looked at it that way, the furture looked pretty bright... ~~~***~~~ Three Months Later In a short time, Junsu had helped YooMin transform their strange warehouse into something that became a sort of haven for all the ex-campers. After being repressed for most of his life, Junsu had really come out of his straight shell. He hadn't completely embraced his gay-ness, but YooMin were definitely helping him with the cause. And The Rising Gods of the East's Paradise Meadow Warehouse for Letting Gay People be Gay really had become every gay man's dream. There were spas; karaoke rooms; mirrored rooms full of clothes to try on; random rooms stuffed to the brim with pillows, condoms, and lube; and no balloons anywhere in site. True to their word, YooMin had built a splendid granite memorial grave to Hyo Jin, and in return Junsu had called all the parents and told them his ranch had relocated to "a rather scenic warehouse in the suburbs of Seoul". Jaejoong wondered where all the money for the renevations and upkeep of the warehouse came from, but he slowly realized that Junsu had made the large amount of money running his gay rehab camp. And apparently the yaoi loving old woman who Changmin had stole from multiple times also was very generous with her donations to the warehouse. (as long as they sent her a constant stream of the video they took from the secret cameras hidden in the sexing rooms) The new warehouse was close enough to Seoul that the boys could go to whatever schools they wanted in the city and many of them were slated to graduate once the semester was over. Of course all of them still planned to live in the warehouse once they were in university or out working (just because the place had become a home to them), but most of them were very glad to not still be isolated on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. As for Jaejoong...well, he went back to his old school and took his place once again as the head of the Cheerleading team. He had introduced the real Hyori to Yunho, and she immediately fell in love with the YunJae pair, creepily taking pictures of them when they weren't looking and making fan books out of them. Jaejoong had brought both Heechul and Dognhae to the gay warehouse for a visit soon after he went back to school. Donghae had immediately become smitten with HyukJae, and vise versa, and had moved permanently in just a week later. Heechul was quite happy with his current boyfriend (the newly gay new kid, Siwon) but by the way that he was eying the Chinese camper Hangeng, Jaejoong knew that there probably would be a YooSuMin type situation happening with them in the future. On weekends, Jaejoong went and visited his parents and noonas. His parents were still getting over the fact that their son might have permanently become gay. But judging by the "How to Support Your Gay Child By Doing Everything Short of Buying them Gay Porn" book his appa was currently reading, Jaejoong knew that his parents would eventually come around. Yunho's father was stll as stubborn as before, but now that Yunho had a place to stay away from his family he could care less what his father did. His mother and sister routinely came to visit him and, with the help of Hyori, had been converted into YunJae fangirls as well. But none of those things really mattered to Jaejoong. The most important thing to him came in the form of the tall, gorgeous boy who always met him at the gates of his school wearing a bright, loving grin. Giggling and stealing a kiss from his boyfriend in front of the school gates, Jaejoong knew that what he had was something beautiful. "I don't think we should go back to the warehouse anytime soon, Jae." Yunho whispered to him. "Why?" "Taemin accidentally spilled a vat of lube onto Hyo Jin's grave and Junsu is now on a warpath and is basically beating down anybody that gets in his way." Jaejoong's eyes widened. "We have vats of lube?" A slow, perverted grin spread on Yunho's face. "Apparently they're something new that YooMin is trying to introduce." "Ahhh," Jaejoong hummed, turning towards his boyfriend, "how about we be the first ones to try it?" "But Taemin spilled the only vat they had on Hyo Jin's grave," Yunho said, pouting like a kicked puppy. "You know...I wonder how upset Junsu would get if we decided to have sex on top of Hyo Jin's grave..." Jaejoong mussed lightly, "after all, it's a hame all that lube would go to waste." Yunho stopped in his tracks. "Jae...you're a genius," he breathed, clasping Jaejoong's hand and running in the direction of the warehouse. Jaejoong just threw his head back and laughed as he ran with Yunho, feeling like the luckiest boy in the world. Because he had finally found who he was. He wasn't straight or gay. He was most certainly 100% Yunhosexual. And he really wouldn't have it any other way~

#deleted fic #yunjae #fanfic

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