just-a-tatted-teach

[just-a-tatted-teach]

When did you know it was time to move on from a job? I’ve felt this for a few years but recently I felt my admin attacked who I am as an educator and want me to go against everything I stand for. I can handle when I’m being used or rude to for your own gain, but telling me I’m too caring and that this caring nature is a flaw is something I don’t know if I can take anymore. I can promise this, I’ll still work for my kids but I am done going the extra mile for admin, it seems pointless at this point. My mental health is worth more even if they don’t think so.

[just-a-tatted-teach]

I feel that I am failing my students. Every. Single. Day. I have felt this way. Normally I don’t, I mean sure, there are those bad days where I feel that way, but this year it’s an every day feeling. I am being told by my district to forgive things due to the circumstances and it’s gotten to the point that basically, nothing matters anymore. Instead of trying to find a way to still learn in this current situation, my disrrricts solution is to just let everything slide. Now let me preface this by saying I fully support having grace and understanding for bad situations. However, I don’t think I should assume my students can’t do things and not even try. I am a firm believer that I need to prepare my students for real life and how to think for themselves. I feel that what I’m teaching this year is that they don’t have to meet expectations or try. Instead, just complain things are too hard and you won’t have to do them. I am struggling. I feel I’m being asked to teach against what I believe. I feel my district is letting stereotypical ideals influence their decisions on what to do. I feel that I am constantly fighting against a power I can’t beat. I mostly feel that I’m a a failure to my students this year and I can’t live with myself if I’m failing them. I’m trying to fight that feeling but it’s hard. Any other teachers out there feeling like they are this much of a failure? Any other districts pushing you to have grace almost to a fault so that it’s harming our kids? Anyone have a better outlook on giving grace that makes me feel less like a failure? Teaching is not for the faint of heart, especially in the dumpster fire called 2020.

[just-a-tatted-teach]

The teacher bestie. You know that one you can go to during plan to gripe about all the things. The one who will randomly bring you a coffee just cause or picks up your coffee for you. The one you call/text in a panic because that extra 5 minutes of sleep turned into 20 and now you’re late and you need your door unlocked. The one who helps you through the bad days, threatens to quit with you and celebrates the good days, laughing at the ridiculous thing one of your kids threw out during discussion. Teacher besties we appreciate you, for all the things you do, keeping us sane, and reminding us we aren’t alone!

[just-a-tatted-teach]

The conversation around our school building is very much one of “be positive”, “teamwork”, “we are all in this together”. However, the reality is that attitude isn’t reflected in the building. It gets brought up to those in charge, but what I have noticed is it’s never those in charge who look at their actions. They put it on us teachers. We are all negative. We aren’t trying hard enough. I strongly belive staff morale is a reflection of administration. Teachers this year seem to be so undervalued. Everything we do is wrong. Parents are mad, admin is mad, kids are mad. We are asked to give so much but none of it is given back to us. If we want a positive and inclusive working environment, it has to start from the top down. Sadly, it seems a lot of the people in that position don’t want to take a hard look at their own attitudes. To those principals out there who do look critically at themselves, thank you, we see you, and our attitudes show it. That being said, the same goes for our own classrooms. If your classroom is a negative space, you might need to reevaluate your own leadership. I have had to do it several times this year. My kids give what I give and it’s hard to take that in, but it’s worth trying to fix. Here’s to all of us who are just trying to make it through this year. This is a hard job, but that one kid who tells you the random story that makes you smile or complements your newest tattoo make it worth it. Get yourself a coffee or a stronger beverage if you’re off the clock, cause we deserve it.