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Why are ‘witch tips’ always like “use quartz as a substitute for any crystal!” and not the good stuff like “River spirits are almost always looking to fuck shit up, so if you rile em up and then feed them a name, they’ll lay someone tf out.”

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“My cat Blackberry has done this before but my friends told me it was really impressive and I should share..” 

(Source)

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This is literally the last month you can reblog this joke

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I say I'm dumb a lot but i think it's time you all knew exactly how dumb i am

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That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

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That fuckin smile at the end

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This... is... Glorious!!!!

The Cullens but Make It EVIL

So, the Cullens are supposed to go to school, and be like inconspicuous, right? But what if they weren’t? 

Emmett goes to school, and he plays all of the sports. He’s the Captain of the football team, and literally tackles people into the dirt. Spectators say that he runs so fast that it’s almost like watching lightning streak across the field. He intentionally tries to see how much he can get away with in class due to his star status. 

Rosalie is the definition of teacher’s pet. Her hand is always in the air, not because she’s worried about making a good impression, but because she loves being RIGHT. Being second to Edward? Hell nah. Rosalie “Bad Bitch Numero Uno” Hale is second to no one. She wins academic awards, and ALWAYS gets named valedictorian. Her greatest pleasure is using psyching out academic rivalss right before tests, whether that means slashing their tires before school, stealing their books or notes, or coming into their room the night before the SAT and making noise every five minutes so that they can’t get any sleep. Rosalie wins at all costs. 

Jasper is a sneaky little shit. He skateboards down the hallway, and loves to instigate fights. He uses his powers to aggravate the schools less keyed up individuals in debate class until the teacher almost has to call security because CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES ARE SUPERIOR YOU NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He likes to stir things up, it entertains him, and hell, if anyone starts to get suspicious about him or his siblings, Jasper can always use his powers to convince them that they are slowly but surely going insane. More than one bed in a local asylum is filled because of him. 

And then there is Alice. She is still the weird girl, but this time she relishes in it. She sets up shop in the girl’s bathroom answering questions like, “When will my boobs get bigger? And should I ask out Robbie or Todd?” She doesn’t need the money, but she saves up the cash anyway. Her and Jasper are still a thing, but this time instead of telling people that they are adopted siblings, Jasper lets circulate that they are actually participating in an ongoing incestuous relationship. Jasper likes to make everyone think that they’re okay with it. Hell, if Jaime and Cersei can do it, why not them? Alice gets bored of school, but makes deals with her teachers for lottery numbers and stock market tips so that they always count her Present. 

Edward, now, instead of feeling bad about his ability to read people’s minds, he uses it to his advantage. He knows he is attractive and loves collecting admirers. It’s only when Bella comes along that he stops dragging the poor little humans for all their worth. Bella, after she’s turned, can actually use her shield ability to block normal human’s senses. She takes pleasure in robbing the sight from persistent bullies or the taste from horrible teacher’s mouths until the only thing they can taste is pickled beets and mayonnaise. Together they are the real power couple of Forks High School, and you can often find them under the bleachers indulging in each other. 

Carlisle and Esme have been called to the school more times than they can count. Esme lights up a joint in the principals office, and Carlisle slips the man’s wallet out of his pants. Both are back home in their gleaming glass house before the Principal realizes that his credit card has just been charged for 51 pepperoni pizzas and a high end escort to be sent to the Superintendent of Schools. 

Still, the Cullens are a family. And it is still them against the world. The world quakes. 

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Never related to anything more

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A porcupine’s Halloween present (+ original sound effects)

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lesbian speed dating can get wild

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Jeremy Zucker - Hell Or Flying

Requested by @speakingoutmycapriciousmind 🌸

Hope you like these 🌠💚

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If Members of the Zodiac were Superheroes 💥 (Thanks to @brittneykelly8 for help on this one!)

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LGBTQ+ Magic T-shirts // EvocaitArt

Non-binary Necromancer // Trans-cendent

Queer Queen // Bewitching Bi

Polysexual Poltergeist // Gender Druid

Lunar Lesbian // Paranormal Pan

Ghostly Gay // Ace-assin

Devilish Demiboy // Devilish Demi // 

 Aro Alchemist // Agender Angel

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Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points